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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032163">The Love of Volleyball</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/renyanen/pseuds/renyanen'>renyanen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Actual Ray of Sunshine Hinata Shouyou, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon Universe, Character Development, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Feels, Fingerfucking, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hands-free Orgasm, Happy Ending, Hardcore, In Public, Jealousy, Kageyama Tobio is Not Very Smart, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, POV Kageyama Tobio, Rimming, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sleepy Cuddles, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Teasing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:28:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>146,058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032163</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/renyanen/pseuds/renyanen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata and Kageyama have always shared something special, something that transcends the norms of teammate relationships. Things start to change, however, after they share an embrace in a moment of passion on the court and Kageyama can’t help but start seeing the decoy in a different light. Things slowly progress between the two amid hectic training camps, cramming for exams, tumultuous practice matches, and official games that will change the course of their lives. Romance/angst/yaoi/slice of life fanfic about your favourite pairing!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>584</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Opening of the Well</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work follows the canon storyline and the first chapter is set at the beginning of the June Preliminaries (which takes place at the end of season one). Please enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>'I’m really glad you kissed me then, Kageyama,' said Hinata. 'Even though it was kind of nerve-racking at the time.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Everything out of the ordinary is nerve-racking to you,' said Kageyama, with a frown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'No it’s not!'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Yeah it is. What isn’t?' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Doing this, for one.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hinata pressed his lips against Kageyama’s again but this time the kiss was fuelled with a fire of urgency that caused Kageyama’s heart to pound in his ears. When they broke apart again, Kageyama had to catch his breath.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'That’s not exactly out of the ordinary anymore, is it?' he pointed out, trying to stay nonchalant despite the thunder in his chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Well, no,' said Hinata, thoughtfully. 'I guess it isn’t.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Dumbass.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hinata grinned into their kiss and Kageyama wound his arms around Hinata’s waist. He felt like he could do this forever. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kamei Arena was dappled with various coloured jerseys of the high schools in Miyagi prefecture. Casually dressed staff members and supporters mingled with the colours and a buzz of anticipation hung throughout the halls. It was the beginning of the Miyagi Prefecture Interhigh Preliminaries and every team was equally determined to leave victorious.</p><p>Karasuno Volleyball Team made their way to the courts and Kageyama could feel the excitement radiating from Hinata’s body beside him. Hinata’s head was a spinning orange blur as he looked around himself, drinking in the sights, and his hands were fidgeting constantly at his sides.</p><p>‘Oi, you’re not freaking out again, are you?’ Kageyama hissed.</p><p>‘No!’ said Hinata, indignantly. ‘This is just so awesome!’</p><p>Kageyama suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Personally, he hadn’t felt nervous about a volleyball match in years. Sure, excitement sent his heart pumping faster than usual and a cool clarity filled his head with purpose, but nervousness? There wasn’t a trace. He was in his element and there was no doubt in his mind that his dedication to training wouldn’t betray him. He did have some doubts, however, about the abilities of his teammates; particularly the shorter teammate walking beside him.</p><p>‘Kageyama, look!’ said Hinata, tugging at Kageyama’s sleeve.</p><p>He was pointing at the turquoise backs of Aoba Johsai, who were standing together talking with their coach. One brown-haired player stood noticeably among them. His hands were in his pockets and he was standing with a token lazy grace that only he could achieve. Kageyama’s eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of his old senpai and the people that he used to call teammates. Their complicated history together still felt raw and Kageyama knew that he would rather not alert Aoba Johsai to his presence.</p><p>‘Don’t point, dumbass,’ said Kageyama, pulling Hinata’s hand down.</p><p>‘We’re going to verse them again, aren’t we?’</p><p>‘Yeah, if we win two rounds.’</p><p>‘We’ll win.’ There was no doubt in Hinata’s voice.</p><p>Kageyama appraised the decoy and gave him a single nod of agreement. Yes, they were going to win. Kageyama wanted to believe it. He had faith in his own ability but he couldn’t deny that he felt the rest of his team to be somewhat lacking.</p><p>They reached the courts and Hinata’s eyes were dinnerplates.</p><p>‘Huge!’ was all he was able to say, in breathless disbelief.</p><p>‘Oooooh! The ceiling’s so high!’ exclaimed Nishinoya, looking up at the ceiling that was obscured by bright hanging lights.</p><p>Coach Ukai gathered the team around him for a pep talk before they were to play their first match against Tokonami High. Kageyama warmed up with the others and felt a bracing readiness flood through him. If the others could keep clear heads and if Hinata could avoid making stupid mistakes, they might actually be able to get through.</p><p>They won their first match against Tokonami High with relative ease. Kageyama knew as soon as he saw the players that it would be little more than a warm-up match for Karasuno. A part of him wondered why his teammates seemed to take the match so seriously when their skills were clearly superior. The second match, against Date Tech High, proved to be more of a challenge. Less than ten minutes into their match, the score read eight to four against them. They couldn’t fall any further behind. No matter how hard Kageyama tried to send perfect tosses to the attackers around him, they couldn’t get through the iron wall that appeared looming over the net in front of every spiker.</p><p>He looked to Ukai for an indication of how to get around it and the coach caught his gaze. He gave a small nod and Kageyama understood. It was time to show everyone in the prefecture what they could do. After a receive from Nishinoya, he tossed the volleyball with pin-point precision to where he knew Hinata’s hand would be.<em> Sma-smack!</em> The referee’s whistle blew for the point and the gym erupted into cheers broken by various sounds of disbelief. They had unveiled their freak quick at last and the players on the opposite side of the net were staring at Hinata in shock. Kageyama looked over at the decoy, whose eyes were positively shining.</p><p>‘Hinata,’ said Kageyama, glaring fierce pride at him. ‘Keep spiking like that.’</p><p>‘R-Right!’ said Hinata, and he clenched his fist with conviction.</p><p>‘Hinata, nice kill!’ shouted Tanaka.</p><p>‘Nice toss, Kageyama!’ called Daichi.</p><p>‘I wanna do that again,’ said Hinata, low enough so that only Kageyama could hear.</p><p>The spike had lit a fire behind his eyes and he looked across the net with renewed determination.  </p><p>‘You will,’ said Kageyama, firmly. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’</p><p>And, of course, he was right. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s eyes on him, begging him for a toss every time the ball left the setter’s hands. The fire behind Hinata’s eyes fed Kageyama’s own urge to win and he felt himself looking more and more at Hinata’s face to add more fuel to his own drive for victory. He set a few tosses to Tanaka and Asahi, drawing the Date Tech blockers into uncertainty, pulling them away from Hinata until he knew the time was right. Of course, Hinata leapt and lunged with everything he had every time the ball left Kageyama’s fingertips regardless of its trajectory; his unwavering faith in Kageyama kept him jumping. When Kageyama set to Hinata again, there wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind that Hinata would score the point. The ball blew past the Date Tech receivers, smashed into the floor and ricocheted off into the sidelines.</p><p>‘Yes!’ he yelled, in unison with Hinata.</p><p>When Hinata heard Kageyama’s voice, he looked over to grin at the setter. The decoy’s eyes were blazing, his whole being was radiant with purpose, and Kageyama’s breath caught in his chest. The boy standing before him was the personification of how he himself was feeling at that very moment. It was as if Hinata was channelling Kageyama’s passion and the sight caught Kageyama off guard for a moment. It was a mirror, and yet he knew that Hinata was nothing like him in nature. This was what they shared. This was what brought them together, what they understood on a level that no one else could approach. Appreciation for the teammate beside him ballooned in Kageyama’s chest and he was seized by the urge to stride over and grab Hinata’s shoulders to bellow praise into his face, but he caught himself. He couldn’t do something like that. He could only let the pride show in his eyes and push Hinata further, press him on until they beat Date Tech. That would be his gift of gratitude for the decoy. The victory that they got would be for him, like a token of appreciation that no one else could recognise.</p><p>The score tally slowly shifted in Karasuno’s favour and Kageyama’s heart leapt every time he heard those familiar sounds of incredulity mingled with cheers from the stands after Hinata completed their god-like quick. By the time they broke through and won their second set, Kageyama could only cheer with the rest. He felt arms around his shoulders as the Karasuno players piled onto one another in celebration. For once, Kageyama conceded that Hinata had been the one to carry them to victory. He couldn’t deny the fact. Karasuno would be going on to the next round of matches in the Preliminaries and their next opponent would be none other than Aoba Johsai. </p><p>* * *</p><p>Once the team got back to Karasuno, Ukai gathered them all into the gym for a brief meeting before they could start heading home.</p><p>‘I’ve got some important news about tomorrow’s match,’ said Ukai, standing before them with his hands on his hips. ‘I got a message on the drive here from the coach of Aoba Johsai that the captain and setter of their team will be out for the match tomorrow.’</p><p>‘Out?’ repeated Kageyama, his brow knitting with confusion.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ replied Ukai. ‘Apparently he sustained an injury that’s not too serious but Coach Irihata won’t let him play in case he does more damage.’</p><p>A murmur of concern rippled through the players. An injury was something that every dedicated sportsperson feared above all else. Kageyama immediately felt the weight of disappointment in his chest. How could they play against Seijoh if Oikawa wasn’t there? Even if they won, it would be a hollow victory.</p><p>‘For real?!’ sighed Nishinoya. ‘Damn, I wanted to stop his crazy serves!’</p><p>‘What kind of injury?’ asked Daichi.</p><p>‘Coach Irihata didn’t say,’ said Ukai.</p><p>‘Probably knee,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He had spoken aloud without thinking and everyone looked at him curiously.</p><p>‘I mean, he’s had problems with his knee before,’ Kageyama clarified gruffly.</p><p>‘Well, whatever it is, he's not going to play tomorrow so that gives us an unprecedented opportunity,’ said Ukai. ‘He’s arguably their strongest player and the pillar of the entire team, so we might just be able to break through. But still, don’t underestimate them! They’re not called a powerhouse school for nothing. The games you played today are going to feel like child’s play this time tomorrow. Even with their captain out, Aoba Johsai is a totally different beast so rest up, eat a proper dinner and see you all tomorrow morning.’</p><p>‘Hey, Kageyama, we’re going to Sakanoshita Shop for buns,’ said Hinata, turning to the setter and grinning brightly. ‘Wanna come?’</p><p>‘No,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata scowled.</p><p>‘Fine!’ he retorted. ‘I didn’t want you to come anyway!’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t bother responding. He turned his back on the others and walked away. He could practically feel their stares burning into his back but he didn’t care. He had to rest in preparation for tomorrow. He dug his hands into his pockets and made his way home. As the pavement flicked by under his feet, he soon fell into recollections of the past day.</p><p>Throughout the meeting, Kageyama had been watching Hinata sitting next to him from the corner of his eye. He had recalled that feeling, that soaring feeling that was the reason he played volleyball in the first place, the reason he dedicated more time to the sport than anything else in his life, as he looked at the boy that made that feeling possible. As a setter, Kageyama was forced to depend on others to complete his attacks and to bring his set-ups to fruition. Tanaka, Asahi, Tsukishima, Daichi and the others at times were all able to score points perfectly well, but there was something about Hinata and their freak quick that made his heart race and his breath catch in his chest. Something about the way Hinata was able to spike his tosses made Kageyama feel like his tosses were made for Hinata, like their styles were jigsaw pieces made perfectly to fit one another. And, he reflected, when it came down to it, Hinata was always the one he would toss to in the end to ensure a victory. He was the one that Kageyama could always trust. He didn’t particularly like being paired with Hinata in such a way but if it had to be anyone on the team, Hinata was arguably the best one to be paired with. He was the easiest to boss around and the one with the most natural ability even if he didn’t know how to use it yet.<em> In time</em>, Kageyama thought patiently to himself. <em>In time, he’ll learn and then we’ll be unstoppable</em>.</p><p>Karasuno were to play in the next round of the June Preliminaries against Aoba Johsai the following day. Despite their commitment to win, Kageyama privately had serious doubts about whether or not Karasuno as a team would be able to beat the powerhouse school that had one of the best setters and most powerful servers in the prefecture as its captain. Even though Oikawa wouldn’t play, Kageyama knew they would be a very hard team to beat. Karasuno might just be able to rack up enough points to scrape by but Kageyama certainly didn’t feel the same level of confidence as he had that morning. He couldn’t help but admit to himself that if Oikawa would be playing, it would be very unlikely that Karasuno would leave victorious.</p><p>He got to his house and switched the lights on as he entered. Unsurprisingly, there was no one there. Kageyama’s older sister had moved out of home already, his mother worked late into the evening and his father was away on a business trip in Sapporo. His father was often away for weeks on end so Kageyama had gotten used to evenings alone and it didn’t bother him as much as it did when he was younger. He kicked off his shoes and went straight upstairs to his bedroom to drop his bag by the floor and slump back onto his bed. Now that he was lying down in the peace and quiet of his empty house, the physical toll of the day began to make itself evident to him. The front of his thighs and backs of his calves ached, and a heavy exhaustion weighed down upon him. Aoba Johsai, Aoba Johsai, Aoba Johsai… The jeering face of Oikawa Tooru floated in front of his mind. Kageyama knew the face well from their days playing at Kitagawa Daiichi together. That was the captain they would have to topple in order to get through to the next round. Even if he wasn’t physically on the court, his presence through the other team members was sure to make itself known. When considering the reality, Kageyama was immediately flooded with doubt. At that moment, Seijoh seemed like an immovable island in an unchartable sea. Their skill level was so unreachable, at least by Karasuno. A part of Kageyama resented the fact as he wondered how he would fare if his teammates were better equipped, but he pushed the thought aside. There was no point in thinking that way. He had to live with the teammates he had. It was something he was still learning to do even though his experience at Kitagawa Daiichi had been a harsh lesson.</p><p>The growling of his stomach forced him out of bed and down to the kitchen where he made instant noodles topped with a fried egg and dried onion flakes. Then, he ran himself a bath before retiring to his bedroom for the night. At some point, he heard the front door open as his mother returned from her shift. He rolled over in bed and tried to quieten his thoughts but flashes of Oikawa’s face kept bursting to the fore of his mind that were quickly replaced by the blazing look in Hinata’s eyes that pierced Kageyama’s heart and held his gaze as if with hypnosis. Even though it was a blessing that Oikawa would be out of the game, a part of Kageyama wished that he would be going up against his old senpai. His drive to win was always high when playing any game of volleyball, but against Oikawa it would be at its absolute peak. His history with Oikawa was a complicated one. Sometimes, he wondered privately if there was more to Oikawa’s feelings towards him than just competitive animosity, but he pushed the thought aside before it would take over his mind. The only thing that mattered was beating Aoba Johsai and getting through to Nationals. That was the only thing that Kageyama knew he should be concerning himself with.</p><p>The bus ride to Sendai the following day was a quiet one as each member of Karasuno was mentally preparing to go up against the strongest team they had probably ever faced. Kageyama leaned back against the headrest and watched the scenery flick by as they drove the winding roads through the mountains to Sendai. Beside him, Hinata was writing text messages in his phone.</p><p>Kamei Arena in Sendai was as bustling as the day before and Karasuno made their way to the courts as soon as possible to begin warming up. Their match against Seijoh would be their first of the day and, depending if they won or lost, could be their last. There was a stiffness in Kageyama’s shoulders as he took off his jacket but he reminded himself that there was nothing to worry about. Oikawa wasn’t going to play.</p><p>Without their captain, Aoba Johsai was a very different team. They were still formidable and Karasuno scored points with the skin of their teeth, but they didn’t feel unreachable. Hope bloomed in Kageyama’s chest as they broke through Seijoh’s defence and were the first to reach 20 points. Then, everything changed when the Seijoh coach called a time out. Kageyama looked over at the Seijoh coach who held his hands in a T formation and his heart leapt when he noticed a familiar face standing leisurely beside him.</p><p>‘I thought he wasn’t going to play?’ said Kageyama, jogging over to join Ukai and the others.</p><p>‘Huh?’ Ukai grunted. ‘Who?’</p><p>‘Oikawa. He’s right there.’</p><p>Ukai’s eyes narrowed slightly as they found the Seijoh setter.</p><p>‘I thought so too,’ he said. ‘Well, maybe he’s feeling better.’</p><p>Worry twisted in Kageyama’s stomach. If Oikawa was playing, they were going to be in trouble.</p><p>‘Don’t worry, Kageyama!’ said Nishinoya, and he slapped the setter on the back with a grin. ‘I’ve got your backs.’</p><p>‘Right,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He wasn’t comforted. The time-out ended and they all returned to the court, this time with Oikawa taking his position at the back of the court. He was serving.</p><p>‘Hi, Tobio-chan!’ called Oikawa, waving.</p><p>His sickly sweet smile made Kageyama scowl. Kageyama ignored him and took up a defensive stance. To no one’s surprise, Oikawa smashed over three service aces in a row which seemed to make Nishinoya equally furious and thrilled.</p><p>‘Don’t mind!’ said Daichi, attempting to inject some encouragement into his awestruck team.</p><p>Oikawa tossed the ball up into the air in front of himself before whacking it over again. This time, Nishinoya received it and Asahi was able to score a point. The score was 24-22 to Karasuno. Just one more point, and they would win the first set. Kageyama’s thighs and calf muscles burned, his breath heaved in his chest, but his face was determined. They were going to win. There wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind over the fact. The opposing players of Aoba Johsai were equally tired and yet, without a shadow of doubt, every member on the court was committed to giving their all right up until the final whistle. Such was the beauty of the Interhigh Preliminaries; every single person participating in the competition was driven by the same will for victory. It burned clear and hot at the core of each of them. The tell-tale tension that always accompanied set point was taut through each of the Karasuno players.</p><p>Asahi put the ball into play and Kageyama watched its progress from player to player with absolute focus – across the net, received, tossed, spiked, saved by a dive from Nishinoya, and then – it was his turn. In his periphery, he saw the figures of Tanaka and Hinata move as if in a slow-motion dance, converging on the net on either side of where he was positioned. Who would he toss to? In that moment, the question felt like the most important one of his life, the answer to which would have some resounding consequence both for the game and for the setter personally. Tanaka was strong and fast enough to get through the pair of blockers hovering behind the net; but, Hinata… Hinata could respond to his toss in a way no one else could. His abilities had been the perfect complement to Kageyama’s right from the start. It was Hinata that he could trust would use the toss to its utmost potential. Really, had there ever been a question at all?</p><p>Kageyama tossed to the air behind him and the resounding double <em>smack</em> of impact told him all he needed to know.</p><p>‘All <em>right</em>!’ the team roared in unison, as the referee’s whistle blew short for the point and then long to signify the end of the first set.</p><p>Kageyama’s breath hitched in his throat and he clenched his fists in front of him. He looked at Hinata and he could feel the fierce commendation burning in his eyes. Hinata’s face was shining and his eyes were alight as he stared in disbelief at his own palm, the skin there blooming red from the impact of his attack. Before Kageyama could register more than Hinata’s face, Hinata turned and launched himself straight at him, seemingly overwhelmed with wild disbelief at their success, and flung his arms around Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama gripped the back of Hinata’s sweaty shirt and lifted him into the air. They had done it. The pair of them and that unspoken, explosive connection that they shared had delivered them the first set against Seijoh. They did it, <em>they did it</em>. It was to Hinata that Kageyama owed this soaring feeling. There was no one else on his side of the net that he valued more in that moment than the decoy that had fulfilled his purpose. Kageyama was so thankful he didn’t want to let go – and then, the realisation of what he was doing hit him like a volleyball to the back of the head and his arms sprung away from Hinata’s body as if he had been burned. Hinata stumbled back at being dropped, shoes squeaking on the shiny wooden floor. The players on the court and sidelines were staring at them. Kageyama felt heat rising in his cheeks and he averted his eyes to the floor.</p><p>‘Nice toss,’ said Hinata, grinning and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.</p><p>‘A quick attack so good it makes the long-standing rivals embrace?’ drawled Oikawa from across the net. ‘It’s almost worth losing a set to witness.’</p><p>Kageyama’s glare shot daggers at an unfazed Oikawa and Hinata poked out his tongue, but the momentary tension was relieved by various Karasuno teammates slapping the pair on the back in congratulations. They all retired to the sidelines to refresh themselves before the second set would start.</p><p>On the sidelines, Karasuno Volleyball Team was abuzz. An easy energy flowed between each of them and the conversation was light and frequently broken by laughter. Hinata, Tanaka and Nishinoya were animatedly recounting their best plays, complete with boisterous re-enactments and sound effects to match (‘you dived like <em>whoosh</em> and got Kindaichi’s spike –’ ‘yeah, and it was so amazing when you smashed through that three-person block like <em>wha-bam</em>, y’know?’ ‘I know, right?!’); Daichi, Sugawara and Asahi were discussing various unanticipated tactics employed by Aoba Johsai and whether they could be applied to their own team; Yamaguchi was gushing over Tsukishima’s more impressive blocks; but Kageyama was lost in thought.</p><p>Why had he embraced Hinata like that? He had never before offered any kind of physical contact to the decoy that wasn’t to inflict pain or humiliation, or both. Why, in that specific moment of heightened tension, had his body’s natural instinct been to embrace Hinata’s flying lunge instead of pushing it away? If he thought about it now, he believed without a doubt that if Hinata tried to hug him in that moment, he’d shove the boy aside and probably call him an idiot. It must have been a heat-of-the-moment reaction. After all, he’d been relying on Hinata to get them the last point. The feeling of team unity was at its peak. He probably would have hugged anyone in that moment, right?</p><p>‘<em>Kageyama?</em>’</p><p>As he argued in his head, he knew immediately that that thought was wrong; there was no way he would have hugged Tsukishima, or Asahi, or any of them. Come to think of it, he couldn’t really imagine wanting to hug anyone at all.</p><p>‘<em>Oi, Kageyama?</em>’</p><p>Then, what made Hinata so special? Truth be told, nothing. The kid was annoying, a lousy teammate, more often than not a total pain, and definitely not as good a player as –</p><p>‘<em>KAGEYAMA!</em>’</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>For the second time ten minutes, the eyes of his teammates were on him. Lost in thought, he hadn’t registered that Daichi was trying to get his attention.</p><p>‘I said, we’ve got to move to the other side of the court,’ said Daichi, slowly and deliberately, as though speaking to someone hard of hearing.</p><p>‘O-oh, right,’ said Kageyama, feeling awkward.</p><p>‘I think the King’s tired out from more volleyball that he can handle,’ jeered Tsukishima.</p><p>‘No way,’ said Hinata, rolling his eyes. ‘We could play another three sets, couldn’t we, Kageyama?’</p><p>He grinned at Kageyama, obviously waiting for his agreement.</p><p>‘Maybe,’ was all Kageyama could say.</p><p>Hinata’s grin slid off his face as Kageyama grabbed his drink bottle and made his way over to the other side of the court.</p><p>‘What’s up with you?’ Hinata called after him, but Kageyama had already turned his back on him.</p><p>Kageyama crossed his arms over his chest and tried to ignore the squeal of the trainers on the waxy floor and the hurried footsteps behind him. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted nothing more than to be alone.</p><p>‘Hey, what’s your deal?’ came Hinata’s voice, crooning from somewhere near his elbow.</p><p>‘Butt out of it,’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘We just won the set – didn’t you see the look on Oikawa’s face? What are you moping about?’</p><p>‘I’m not moping.’</p><p>‘Okay, sulking, then.’</p><p>‘I’m not sulking either, dumbass.’</p><p>‘Fine, keep being weird then,’ shrugged Hinata. ‘As long as you’re focussed for the next set, you can be as mopey as you want in your spare time. <em>Ack!</em>’</p><p>He yelped as Kageyama pulled the hair at the top of his head angrily.</p><p>‘Don’t be stupid, stupid,’ said Kageyama, letting him go roughly. ‘You know I’m gonna be focussed. Come on, we’ll get in trouble from the ref if we’re late.’</p><p>As they took up their positions on the court, Kageyama gritted his teeth. He was obviously not focussed and he couldn’t push away the gnawing feeling that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate in their match either. He couldn’t get it out of his head – the heat of Hinata’s sweaty body radiating through his shirt, the desperate grip of Hinata’s arms around his neck, and, most significantly, the blazing look on Hinata’s face that had been directed at him. No one had ever looked at him like that. The memory of it twisted something in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach.</p><p>Kageyama wasn’t sure if it was his distraction or Oikawa’s presence but Seijoh took the next two sets from them with relative ease. Disappointment welled in his chest but truth be told, he felt more exhausted than anything and it was with a sense of numb relief that they made their way back to Karasuno.</p><p>He took a window seat on the bus, across the aisle from Hinata, and his body felt electrically aware of the decoy’s proximity. It seemed as though something unspoken had settled between them that tugged at his attention for the duration of their trip back to school. Whatever it was, he couldn’t form sense or words around it. It was as though the brief physical contact between them had opened a well in Kageyama’s mind and he wasn’t sure he wanted to explore its depths. Hinata wasn’t a person that Kageyama ever thought about outside of their training sessions. Sure, they studied together sometimes in the evenings and walked part-ways home, but Kageyama's general perception of the orange-haired decoy was that he was a ball of energy and raw athletic ability that was mildly annoying and deserving of a good competitive thrashing. He was a person that Kageyama inherently associated with volleyball. He wasn’t even sure if he would be able to picture Hinata outside of a setting related to the sport. Hinata in a movie theatre? Probably never happened. Hinata in a shopping centre? Maybe in an alternative universe. But Hinata in the gym at Karasuno, or in Kamei Arena, or at school? Those were the places he slot into Kageyama’s life. Mentally, Kageyama couldn’t imagine Hinata as anything other than his unfortunate teammate that was sometimes able to score points due to a combination of his natural athletic prowess, stamina, and luck. Then, why couldn’t he get that blazing look out his head?</p><p>The team gathered in a rough semicircle around Ukai in the gym as the coach briefly went over some of the more significant successes and losses of the day’s match. The others were visibly devastated at their loss but Ukai promised them that they would have another opportunity.  </p><p>After the meeting, Kageyama and Hinata wordlessly agreed to stay back and practice, as per usual.</p><p>‘We’ve had a long day today,’ called Daichi, as he changed his shoes in the doorway. ‘Go home and rest!’</p><p>‘We won’t be long, promise!’ said Hinata. ‘And I feel too depressed to go home by myself.’  </p><p>‘I’m going to come by on my jog in a couple of hours and I swear if you’re still here…’</p><p>‘One hour,’ said Kageyama. ‘Then we’ll leave. Hinata needs to work on his crappy receives otherwise we'll have no chance in the next tournament.’</p><p>‘Oi!’ barked Hinata, indignantly.</p><p>‘Fine,’ conceded Daichi. ‘One hour, not a minute more.’</p><p>He eyed them dubiously and Hinata waved as the captain left, closing the gym door behind him.</p><p>‘Alright!’ said Hinata.</p><p>He turned to look at Kageyama and Kageyama felt his heart leap in his chest. There is was again: that fierce, blazing look of determination that Hinata wore when he was particularly riled up about volleyball. It was the same look he had worn when he flung himself bodily at Kageyama after the first set. For some reason, it made Kageyama’s heart thud into overtime.</p><p>‘Serve to me, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, and he tossed a ball to the setter. ‘I need to practice. The only thing that’s keeping me sane right now is working to get revenge against Seijoh.’</p><p>Kageyama caught the ball against his chest and Hinata jogged lightly over to the other side of the net. He took up a defensive stance, bending his knees and holding out his arms, ready to lunge wherever Kageyama would serve the ball. Kageyama moved to the back of the court. He set his shoulders. <em>It’s just Hinata</em>, he thought to himself. <em>Snap out of it</em>. But he could see Hinata’s face like a bright beam of light. He felt like he wasn't able to look directly at him. It was like staring at the sun.</p><p>‘Oi, come on, Kageyama,’ he whined.</p><p>‘Don’t rush me!’ Kageyama snapped.</p><p>‘We don’t have that much time.’</p><p>Kageyama tutted under his breath and tossed the ball into the air above him before running forward and leaping to whack the ball over the net. Hinata lunged and stumbled spectacularly as the ball blew past him half a metre from his outreached hand. Kageyama smirked.</p><p>‘I wasn't ready!’ said Hinata defensively, as he ran after the ball.</p><p>‘Sure. You just suck.’</p><p>They practiced and bickered lightly as the evening wore on, keeping the despair over their loss at bay. For a time, Kageyama forgot the pain of defeat and lost himself in the intricacies of practice with Hinata. As time wore on, however, the reality of their loss slowly encroached upon the both of them and drove away their energy to practice. It ended up with Hinata spiking over and over against the wall and Kageyama lying flat on his back in the middle of the court, tossing a ball leisurely above himself whilst staring at the ceiling. Again, he was lost in thought, lulled into meditation by the rhythmic squeak of Hinata’s shoes, and the <em>thu-thud, thu-thud</em> of the ball ricocheting from Hinata’s hand to the wall and back. He thought he had been prepared for their defeat, thought he had accepted it before the match had even started… Then why did he feel like this? Darkness had truly settled outside by the time they agreed that Daichi could be coming past at any moment and it wasn’t worth hanging around to face his wrath.</p><p>‘I’ll get the balls!’ said Hinata, catching his own in his hands.</p><p>He jogged away across the court to gather as many balls as his arms could carry and throw them into the empty crate. Kageyama watched him and the fire of competition alighted in his eyes, and he got to his feet and started whisking up every ball in sight as fast as he could. Hinata, noticing rivalry from the corner of his eye, gritted his teeth at the challenge and the pair darted around one another, racing for the last lonesome volleyball that was propped innocently against the edge of the net.</p><p>‘It’s mine!’ yelled Hinata.</p><p>‘You wish!’ shouted Kageyama.</p><p>They both dived for the last ball and promptly crashed into one another. Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s shoulder and yanked it out of the way, reaching for the ball himself that was yet to move an inch.</p><p>‘<em>No – you – don’t!</em>’ grunted Hinata, grasping at Kageyama’s reaching wrist.  </p><p>‘<em>Argh!</em>’</p><p>Kageyama tried and failed to shake his arm free and became suddenly, acutely, aware of the fact that Hinata’s hand was gripped tightly around his wrist. Caught off-guard by the sudden proximity, Kageyama’s resistance hesitated for a fraction of a second – a moment which did not go unnoticed. The orange-haired boy jumped at the chance – literally – and leapt forward to scoop the volleyball into his arms before dancing away, holding Kageyama’s wrist still at arm’s length.</p><p>‘I win!’ he grinned.</p><p>‘Let go of me!’ growled Kageyama, feeling unexpectedly panicky.</p><p>‘Make me,’ challenged Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama twisted his arm out of Hinata’s grip before smacking the ball out of the decoy’s arms and picking it up himself.</p><p>‘You’re too easy to beat,’ Kageyama sighed. ‘You could at least put up a fight, y’know.’</p><p>‘I did put up a fight!’ snapped Hinata.</p><p>‘Really? I didn’t even notice.’</p><p>Hinata growled like an animal and Kageyama allowed the decoy to snatch the ball out of his arms. His pulse was oddly erratic and he realised, with mild surprise, that his breath was coming fast and shallow. As Hinata jogged over to the crate of volleyballs, Kageyama felt his wrist burn with the dull memory of the decoy’s grip.</p><p>‘Dumbass Hinata,’ hissed Kageyama, pushing the feeling aside.</p><p>Hinata turned around and stuck his tongue out at Kageyama before throwing the last volleyball into the crate with the others.</p><p>‘I’ll get you next time, just you wait!’ Hinata challenged, scrunching up his face.</p><p>Kageyama couldn’t help but smirk darkly at the prospect. Oddly enough, the thought of Hinata wrestling him alone in the gym didn’t seem as bothersome as he would have expected. They changed their shoes and locked up the gym before stepping out into the warm June air.</p><p>‘We’re going to get revenge on Seijoh, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, and his face was set. ‘We’ll beat them next time.’</p><p>Kageyama appraised the decoy for a moment, looking down at him through the darkness, and he saw no flicker of doubt or hesitation in his face. It was an expression that told the setter that he was totally and entirely committed to Karasuno’s victory.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Kageyama agreed, with a single nod.</p><p>‘Well, see you!’</p><p>‘Bye.’</p><p>Hinata turned his back on Kageyama and went to get his bike. Kageyama buried his hands into his pockets and made his way home. Now that he was alone, memories of the day weighed down upon him. The peak of excitement after they won the first set, followed by crushing defeat after the loss of the following two. For the first time since it happened, Kageyama allowed himself to fully recall what had happened after they won that first set against Seijoh. In the moment, it was as if all the cheering and yelling around them was muted and the vibrancy of the stands blurred until Hinata was the only thing in full-blown, Technicolor focus. He had thrown himself into Kageyama’s arms without a shred of doubt or uncertainty. It was an act of pure, instinctual will. And Kageyama had embraced him back. He had clutched at the folds of Hinata’s sweaty jersey and felt the muscles twist and flex under his arms with a perception heightened after the intensity of the game.</p><p>He reached his home which was empty as expected and went through the motions of his evening routine while his mind was preoccupied. His thoughts switched constantly between their match and Hinata. Eventually, he got into bed and let go of any attempt to steer his thoughts in any specific direction. He let himself dwell on the events of the day.</p><p>Recalling the heat and weight of the decoy in his arms caused Kageyama’s heartbeat to rise as he lay in bed with his eyes squeezed shut, but the question that weighed most upon his mind remained unanswered: why had he embraced him back? Why had he, in that moment, wrapped up in that soaring feeling of victory, hugged Hinata back instead of shoving him away like he ought to have done? The question rolled back and forth through his mind until Kageyama was forced to abandon it as unanswerable in order to try to get some sleep. Whatever the reason was, it was inconsequential. It was a commemorative embrace between teammates in congratulations for a set well played. Anything more would be conflating it out of proportion. That was what he told himself as he drifted off to sleep wrapped up in memories of his teammate’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Senpai's Advice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Friday afternoon and Coach Ukai was unhappy. He paced back and forth in front of the seated volleyball team, arms crossed over his chest, tapping his finger against his arm. Hinata was trembling in shame, Tanaka looked equally irritated and abashed, and Kageyama was scowling at the floor.</p>
<p>‘Takeda-sensei has informed me that if you three don’t improve your grades, you’re going to have to take remedial lessons after school hours,’ said Coach Ukai. ‘That means you’d have to miss practice – a lot of it. It’s important that we all train as hard and as often as we can to prepare for the next tournament since we didn’t make it to Nationals this season, so I expect the three of you to study extra hard in your free time so that you don’t have to forgo practice.’</p>
<p>‘Right!’ said Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama in unison.</p>
<p>‘Good. As for the others, training sessions will continue normally whether or not Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama are able to participate. That’s all for today.’</p>
<p>He turned away and fell into conversation with Daichi and Takeda-sensei.</p>
<p>‘How are we going to pass this level’s maths exam?!’ groaned Hinata in despair.</p>
<p>‘At least you guys got help,’ said Tanaka, grumpily.</p>
<p>‘I’m so thankful for Yacchan!’ said Hinata, and his eyes shone.</p>
<p>‘She gave us a lot of notes to study while she’s away,’ said Kageyama. ‘But I don’t know how easily we’ll be able to figure them out without her.’</p>
<p>‘It’ll be fine!’ said Hinata, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. ‘We could always ask Tsukishima for help, he’s really good at studying.’</p>
<p>‘Studying isn’t something you can learn, you just have to do it,’ said Tsukishima.</p>
<p>‘That just means you’d be a crappy teacher,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Either way, you’re on your own,’ shrugged Tsukishima.</p>
<p>‘Work hard, you guys!’ said Sugawara, cheerfully. ‘If you put your minds to it, I’m sure you’ll pass with flying colours. I’ll get Daichi to treat you to some pork buns if you increase your grades.’</p>
<p>‘Pork buns?!’ squeaked Hinata.</p>
<p>‘The best incentive,’ said Sugawara, with a wink.</p>
<p>‘Okay, everyone is dismissed,’ called Coach Ukai, over the din of chatter that had built up in the gym. ‘Use your time off wisely,’ he added, with a pointed nod to Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama.</p>
<p>Kageyama shouldered his bag and made his way home, gritting his teeth at the amount of studying he was going to have to cram into the evenings after volleyball practice. He had only just stepped through his front door, however, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He frowned at the name <em>Hinata Shouyou</em> on the screen before answering.</p>
<p>‘What?’ he said.</p>
<p>Hinata’s voice came shrill and panicked through the phone.</p>
<p>‘<em>Kageyama, do you have Yachi-san’s notes?!</em>’</p>
<p>‘I thought you had them?’</p>
<p>‘<em>I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find them. I’m still at school because I had to check in the classroom, but they’re not here either!</em>’</p>
<p>‘Just a moment,’ said Kageyama, and he knelt down in the entryway to open his bag.</p>
<p>After rifling through the mass of exercise books and papers in there, he caught a glimpse of what could only be Yachi-san’s flowery, colourful handwriting.</p>
<p>‘Oh, yeah, they’re here in the back of my textbook.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Ohhhhh great!</em>’ Hinata sounded relieved. ‘<em>These problems are impossible and I can’t solve them without the notes she made us. Can you send photos of them to me?</em>’</p>
<p>‘What, of all twelve pages?’ said Kageyama, flicking through them.</p>
<p>‘<em>There’s twelve pages?!</em>’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, and they’re double-sided and out of order so they don’t make any sense. Plus, her handwriting is really small.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Damn. Where are you?</em>’</p>
<p>‘I just got home.’</p>
<p>‘<em>I’ll come get them from you.</em>’</p>
<p>‘Oi, you can’t take them, I need them too!’</p>
<p>There was a momentary pause.</p>
<p>‘<em>We’ll just have to study them together</em>,’ said Hinata. ‘<em>Where should we go?</em>’</p>
<p>Kageyama exhaled with irritation and deliberated.</p>
<p>‘The library at school?’ he suggested.</p>
<p>‘<em>I think it’s closed already.</em>’</p>
<p>‘You could come here; no one’s home but me.’ </p>
<p>‘<em>To your house?</em>’ Hinata sounded hesitant. ‘<em>I don’t want to impose…</em>’</p>
<p>‘You don’t have to,’ said Kageyama, suddenly unsure as to whether inviting Hinata over was a good idea.</p>
<p>‘<em>No, no, it’s okay. Do you think your parents would mind?</em>’</p>
<p>‘No. My mum won’t be home until late anyway and my dad’s out of town.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Do you have siblings? I don’t wanna bother them.</em>’</p>
<p>‘My sister lives in Sendai. There'll be no one there but us, quit stressing out.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Well, okay then! But, I don’t know the way.</em>’</p>
<p>‘Go to the vending machines by the bus stop that’s after the railway crossing. I’ll meet you there.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Sure, see you soon!</em>’</p>
<p>‘See you.’</p>
<p>Kageyama hung up the call and slipped his phone into his pocket. <em>Idiot Hinata</em>, he thought, but his heart wasn’t really behind the insult. To his mild surprise, he wasn’t as irritated as he thought he should be. He hated studying and found it hard to concentrate, so maybe working with a partner would make it easier to focus.</p>
<p>A sudden anxiety gripped him: was his room tidy enough for guests? He kicked off his shoes and hurried up the stairs to his bedroom. There were some sports magazines scattered haphazardly across his desk and his day clothes from the previous day were lying at the foot of his bed along with some old socks but after thirty seconds of frantic organising, he was confident in allowing Hinata into his bedroom. The thought of Hinata being there sent an odd feeling of anticipation to beat fast inside his ribcage. He shook his head of the feeling and left the house.</p>
<p>Hinata was leaning on his bike by the vending machines when Kageyama rounded the corner into view.</p>
<p>‘Hey,’ said Hinata, straightening up.</p>
<p>‘Yo,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘I’m so thankful you have Yachi-san’s notes,’ Hinata sighed in relief. ‘I know for sure I’d never get through the homework tasks without them.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, you wouldn’t. But, neither would I,’ Kageyama conceded.</p>
<p>He slipped some coins into the vending machine for a yoghurt and hesitated, glancing at Hinata from the corner of his eye. The other boy was absently watching an elderly lady with her dog walking on the other side of the street. His hair, shot with gold from the setting sun, ruffled slightly in the evening breeze. Kageyama averted his eyes and, slotting a couple more coins into the machine, pressed the button twice. Hinata’s face lit up when Kageyama handed him the yoghurt bottle and he chatted animatedly about the day’s training session in the time it took for them to reach Kageyama’s house.</p>
<p>The way Hinata rambled on about arbitrary details of their teammates’ plays reminded Kageyama that, actually, there was nothing particularly special about this boy and the weird feeling of anticipation he had felt earlier at the thought of Hinata visiting his house was unfounded. Ever since their victory against Date Tech, the set they won against Seijoh a few weeks ago and their subsequent embrace, Kageyama felt that his subconscious had somehow crafted an overblown image of Hinata in his mind as someone to be, if not respected exactly then at least to be appreciated. During boring classes or late at night when he was lying awake in bed, Kageyama replayed that feeling – that soaring feeling of complete and utter victory against a strong opponent – and his value of Hinata as a player and a partner grew; at least until he came face-to-face with the boy in person and became abruptly grounded in the reality of his complete ordinariness.</p>
<p>‘Sorry for the intrusion!’ sang Hinata, as they stepped over the threshold.</p>
<p>‘I told you, no one’s here,’ said Kageyama, taking off his shoes.</p>
<p>‘Oh, right. Where are your parents?’</p>
<p>‘At work. Mum works evenings and Dad’s at a conference in Sapporo until next week.’</p>
<p>‘My dad also works late on weekends. Ooooh!’</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes widened as he looked around the living room.</p>
<p>‘It’s nothing special,’ said Kageyama, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.</p>
<p>He was right, the Kageyama residence <em>was</em> nothing special, but Hinata was drinking in the sights as if it was the most exciting place he’d been. The house was tidy and oddly minimalistic. Kageyama couldn’t know, but Hinata could easily guess that Kageyama’s parents were often away for work.</p>
<p>‘My room’s upstairs,’ said Kageyama, pointing at the staircase. ‘I’ll make tea.’</p>
<p>‘’Kay!’</p>
<p>Kageyama prepared tea and crockery on a tray and carried the table up to his bedroom. Hinata was already sitting cross-legged on the floor, poring over the most recent volume of <em>Volleyball Monthly</em> magazine with a level of concentration that could never be inspired by academia.  </p>
<p>‘Oi, help me with the table,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Oh, right.’</p>
<p>Together, they set up and laid the table. Its surface was soon obscured by textbooks, worksheets, stationary and various excerpts of Yachi-san’s notes.</p>
<p>‘Can you find any notes about chapter three, exercise twelve?’ said Hinata, rifling feverishly through the mountain of papers between them. ‘It could be on any one of these.’</p>
<p>‘I did that one already,’ said Kageyama. ‘Here, you can copy mine.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Hinata’s eyes were shining again in that way that made it hard for Kageyama to look directly at him. The intensity was blinding. ‘Kageyama, you’re the best! I don’t know what I’d do without – hey, this can’t be right; look, you did this one wrong!’</p>
<p>‘What?!’ snapped Kageyama, snatching his book back.</p>
<p>‘That’s meant to be a 3, not 13. It says so in the problem.’</p>
<p>‘Damn it!’</p>
<p>‘Let’s take a break,’ sighed Hinata, leaning back on his hands. ‘My brain hurts.’</p>
<p>‘We’ve been studying for twenty minutes.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah I know but it’s important to rest, right? At least, that’s what Coach Ukai is always telling us…’</p>
<p>Kageyama tapped his chin thoughtfully.</p>
<p>‘You’re right,’ he said, finally. ‘Coach Ukai would want us to take a break.’</p>
<p>‘Great! I wanna look at <em>Volleyball Monthly</em> again.’</p>
<p>Hinata crawled around the table and sat beside Kageyama, taking up the magazine from where he’d left it next the bed and unfolding it on his knee so that Kageyama could see it as well. Kageyama instinctively leaned away from the closeness but, after a moment of hesitation, decided to concede and allowed their shoulders to touch. <em>It’s just an inch of physical contact</em>, he thought. <em>What could be the harm in that?</em> The tiny point of contact between them immediately dominated his senses and he mentally fought with the urge to shove Hinata away. Hinata, as oblivious as always, was instantly more absorbed in the articles than he’d been in their twenty minutes of schoolwork.</p>
<p>‘Look, there’s even an article about Oikawa!’ said Hinata, pointing. ‘It’s so unfair. Do you think that I’ll ever have my picture in here?’</p>
<p>‘Probably not,’ said Kageyama, without thinking, still focusing too much on the way Hinata’s shoulder moved against his every time he turned a page.</p>
<p>Hinata looked up at him with puppy eyes swimming and Kageyama couldn’t help feeling slightly guilty.</p>
<p>‘Not alone, I mean,’ he said. ‘You’re the decoy, right? And we’re a pair, so it would have to be a photo of both of us.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, you’re right! The ultimate attackers. We’re better than any others, right, Kageyama-kun?’</p>
<p>‘R-Right.’</p>
<p>Content with Kageyama’s response, Hinata continued to read through the magazine. Whether on purpose or not, with each small movement Hinata’s knee inched lower and lower until it rested lightly against Kageyama’s thigh, causing Kageyama’s whole body to tense up. <em>What’s with the closeness?!</em> Kageyama’s brain screamed at him. Hinata seemed clueless, his entire focus on the magazine.</p>
<p>‘Of course, Shiratorizawa takes the centrefold,’ sighed Hinata in exasperation. ‘Can you imagine Karasuno there? It was be so awesome! Once we perfect that synchronised attack Coach Ukai’s been teaching us, we could take them down and win at Nationals!’</p>
<p>‘Maybe,’ said Kageyama, distracted by the weight of Hinata’s knee.</p>
<p>‘We definitely could. I don’t like that Ushiwaka guy, he takes himself so seriously.’</p>
<p>‘Well, he’s a seriously good player.’</p>
<p>‘So are you,’ said Hinata, reproachfully. ‘And you’re a hundred times better in combination with me so it’s only obvious we’d smush him to a pulp once we get our moves perfected. We only lost because we don’t have as much experience, not because we’re crappier players than the guys at Seijoh.’</p>
<p>‘We should study,’ said Kageyama, the words rushing out.</p>
<p>He felt that if any more of Hinata came in contact with him he’d burst.</p>
<p>‘Fine,’ said Hinata, and he put the magazine down and returned to his side of the table. ‘Let’s try and get the problems done and Yachi-san can look over them when she gets back.’</p>
<p>They managed to work for another hour and a half before it was time for Hinata to go home.</p>
<p>‘You can keep the notes,’ he said, grinning. ‘Bring them to practice tomorrow and we can study afterwards, okay?’</p>
<p>‘O-okay,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘See you tomorrow!’</p>
<p>‘See you.’</p>
<p>Kageyama watched Hinata mount his bike and ride off before going back inside and closing the door. The house seemed oddly quiet now. He cleaned up the tea and table from his bedroom and fell back onto his bed holding Yachi-san’s notes, and Hinata’s promise of tomorrow, tightly against his chest. He didn’t understand why, but the words “see you tomorrow!” sent a flurry of anticipation to swirl in his stomach.<em> It’s just Hinata</em>, he growled at himself. <em>What do you care if you see him tomorrow? You’ve seen him practically every day for the past few months!</em> It was true, between classes and training he had seen Hinata almost every day since they started at Karasuno. Never before had he felt this weird feeling of nervousness or excitement or trepidation or whatever it was; so, why now?</p>
<p>And then, he remembered that blazing look in Hinata’s face as he ran across the court towards him; he remembered the look of fierce, disbelieving ecstasy in Hinata’s eyes that he knew perfectly reflected his own. It was at that moment that he knew Hinata was the only one who knew exactly how he felt, and that Hinata was the only one who could make him feel that way – could make <em>them</em> feel that way. And Kageyama wanted to feel that way again. His whole body ached for it. It was the reason he trained every day, the reason he was studying into the night, the reason he got out of bed in the morning — to feel that soaring feeling. And in order to feel it, he had to draw it out of its source first: its source being a certain annoying, orange-haired first-year. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>The volleyball team was nearing the end of their afternoon training session when Takeda-sensei arrived and called the players over for a brief meeting.</p>
<p>‘You will all be pleased to know I’ve managed to squeeze us into a training camp for next week,’ he announced, to murmurs of interest from the players and a whoop of excitement from Nishinoya. ‘We will be heading to Tokyo for the long weekend to meet up with a couple of members of the Fukurodani group: our friends at Nekoma –’</p>
<p>‘Kenma!’ breathed Hinata, face shining with enthusiasm.</p>
<p>‘– and Fukurodani Academy.’</p>
<p>Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as a competitive flare burned in his chest. He evidently had not forgotten his “lessons” with Bokuto, Akaashi and Kuroo from their last training camp that was held before the Preliminaries.</p>
<p>‘So,’ continued Takeda-sensei, ‘please continue practice and I will give you more information regarding scheduling early next week. This training camp, though only three days, will be a great opportunity for you all to practice how your new techniques fare against strong teams. I suggest you all take advantage of this opportunity!’</p>
<p>‘Right!’ agreed the gym, in unison.</p>
<p>‘Thank you, Takeda-sensei,’ said Coach Ukai. ‘Okay, everyone, I think that’s enough practice for today.’</p>
<p>The team members started cleaning up their equipment. After changing his shoes, Kageyama pulled his cream-coloured jumper over his head and slung his bag over his shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Oi, you ready?’ he called to Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Yep!’</p>
<p>Hinata was already running over, toothy grin on his face, carrying his jacket. The pair had quickly fallen into an evening routine of volleyball and studying together. After their classes ended, they would race to the gym, practice for a couple of hours, clean up, and continue their schoolwork into the evening. The locations they studied changed: sometimes in the school library, sometimes in the clubroom, sometimes in Sakanoshita Shop, sometimes at Kageyama’s place. Doing things with Hinata gave Kageyama unprecedented energy and he even found some semblance of joy in schoolwork. It was satisfying to be able to get through the mountain of assignments he had been given to devote more of his time to volleyball practice and it was true that working with a partner helped him focus.</p>
<p>The sky outside was overcast and growing darker. A chill breeze swept through the courtyard and Hinata wordlessly handed Kageyama his bag so that he could put on his Karasuno team jacket.</p>
<p>‘So, where should we go today?’ Hinata asked, taking back his bag.</p>
<p>‘I’m hungry,’ said Kageyama. ‘Let’s go out and eat and we can study at the same time. I feel like curry.’</p>
<p>‘Oooh, do you think the place near Coach Ukai’s shop is open?’</p>
<p>‘You really want to go there? If Ukai sees us there, he’ll probably assume we’re slacking off.’</p>
<p>‘But the grilled sanma is so good!’ Hinata’s mouth was watering at the memory.</p>
<p>‘Fine, let’s go and see if it’s open,’ Kageyama conceded.</p>
<p>It was open and being a Wednesday night, was mercifully empty. The pair settled into a corner table by the window and ate their fill of golden curry and chargrilled fish, their schoolwork remaining forgotten for a time in their bags. A contented silence had fallen between them and Kageyama watched Hinata from the corner of his eye. He wondered vaguely if Hinata ever thought about what had happened at the match with Seijoh. They had never talked about it and things between them had returned to normal but the memory of it dogged Kageyama when he least expected it. He didn’t have the courage to ask Hinata outright but he wondered vaguely if there was some way to strike up a conversation that would incite Hinata to talk about it.</p>
<p>‘Are you nervous about the training camp?’ asked Kageyama, careful to keep his tone casual.  </p>
<p>’No way!’ said Hinata, through a mouthful of rice. ‘It’s just practice, and as long as we get that minus-tempo quick down, Nekoma and Fukurodani don’t stand a chance.’</p>
<p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, but we need to perfect that quick first,’ he said. ‘You’re still bad at it.’</p>
<p>‘So are you!’</p>
<p>‘We’ll have to practice hard next week if we want to beat them. We should take a break from studying tomorrow and stay in the gym for as long as we can. At the moment, it’s more important that we get it right.’</p>
<p>‘I think so, too,’ Hinata agreed, reasonably. ‘We’d be letting the team down if we didn’t practice our hardest and we’ve been studying so much this week.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah. I think even Ukai wouldn’t be against it. He wants to beat Nekoma just as much as the rest of us.’</p>
<p>Hinata pushed his bowl to the table’s edge and got out his books and pencil case.</p>
<p>‘Okay, time to study like my life depends on it!’ he stated, scrunching up his face in a grimace of determination. ‘Eh?’ His grimace immediately shifted into an expression of curiosity, which in turn became an excited grin. ‘Look, it’s Sugawara-san and Daichi-san! Oi!’</p>
<p>Sugawara and Daichi were walking past on the opposite side of the street, chatting amicably. Hinata was waving madly at them through the restaurant window but neither of them appeared to notice.</p>
<p>‘Aw, they can’t see me,’ pouted Hinata. ‘We should go out and say hi!’</p>
<p>‘We just saw them an hour ago,’ said Kageyama, disinterested.</p>
<p>At that moment, Sugawara stopped in front of a shop window and pulled Daichi by the hand to stop him. Daichi laughed at something Sugawara said before wrapping his arm around Sugawara’s shoulders and planting a kiss in his silver hair.</p>
<p>‘Eh?’ said Hinata, blankly.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes widened and the pair of them stared, dumbfounded, as Daichi and Sugawara continued down the street and out of sight, walking with their hands clasped between them.</p>
<p>‘Wha-’</p>
<p>‘Were they… holding hands?’ said Kageyama, in disbelief.</p>
<p>Hinata’s lower jaw was on the floor.</p>
<p>‘Daichi kissed him! Did you see that?! Did you see it, Kageyama? He <em>kissed</em> him! And then they were holding hands, all the way down the street!’ He inhaled sharply. ‘Do you think they’re <em>dating?</em>’</p>
<p>‘They must be,’ mused Kageyama, slowly.</p>
<p>‘I didn’t know teammates could do that…’</p>
<p>Hinata sounded as if he’d never heard of the concept before. Kageyama’s face was carefully composed but internally he was thinking, hard. Daichi and Sugawara must be seeing each other in secret. That meant that one of them must have confessed to the other, and the other had accepted, and it didn’t seem to have affected their ability to play on the same team. They must have been dating long enough to be comfortable being affectionate in public, even though the area was quiet and the street was relatively dark.</p>
<p>‘I wonder if they’ve been dating for long,’ said Hinata, thinking out loud. ‘Do you think anyone else knows? Do you think we should tell them we saw?’</p>
<p>‘Probably not,’ said Kageyama, immediately. ‘It might make things weird and I don’t want it to affect the way we play.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah good point, I hadn’t thought of that.’</p>
<p>Kageyama continued to stare out of the window to where Sugawara and Daichi had been walking but his eyes were unseeing. The feel of Hinata’s arms, gripping tight around his neck, and his sweaty back under Kageyama’s hands, ballooned into his mind. He clearly recalled the weight of Hinata’s knee resting atop his own as they sat on the floor of his bedroom, and the way his breath had quickened. He remembered the swooping feeling of trepidation he felt when he saw Hinata running towards him after class and the fierce pride and ecstasy that accompanied their contact on the court. He thought about the routine they had fallen into and how comfortable it felt. He thought about how he would feel if it had to end.</p>
<p>Before Kageyama realised what he was saying, the words were coming out of his mouth.</p>
<p>‘Do you think you could ever date a teammate?’</p>
<p>‘What kind of question is that?’ said Hinata, his head cocked to the side in visible confusion.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s jaw clenched. He hadn’t meant to speak his thoughts aloud but there was no going back now. He had to commit and try to pretend like it wasn’t a weird thing to ask.</p>
<p>‘Well?’ he snapped. ‘Could you?’</p>
<p>Hinata tapped his bottom lip thoughtfully. He took long enough deliberating that Kageyama surmised Hinata hadn’t given the idea thought before.</p>
<p>‘Depends,’ Hinata said, vaguely. ‘If they cared about volleyball as much as I do then why not?’</p>
<p>‘That’s your only criteria?’ asked Kageyama, eyes narrowing slightly.</p>
<p>‘It’s the only one that matters.’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s mind was whirring and he felt the urge to ask Hinata more probing questions but decided against it. Instead, he pulled out his work book and scrunched up his face.</p>
<p>‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We have to get this stuff finished by tomorrow.’</p>
<p>That night, Kageyama’s sleep was disturbed by vivid, realistic dreams. The vending machines and bus stop were washed in a sweet orange glow as the sun sank lower and lower behind the rooftops lining the street. Hinata was walking next to him, his shoulder bumping against Kageyama’s upper arm with every step. Kageyama looked down and Hinata beamed up at him in a toothy grin. A warmth spread through Kageyama’s chest and he felt a curious contentment that he didn’t want to end.</p>
<p>Then, the scene changed. Hinata was standing on a dimly lit volleyball court on the same side of the net as Kageyama. Hinata’s chest was heaving, sweat was dripping down his temples, and his eyes were alight with readiness. Kageyama was suddenly overwhelmed with the drive to win, to achieve victory, to gain that sweet, soaring feeling of triumph even though there was no one else here on the court. Instead, as if on instinct, he launched himself at Hinata, his shoes squeaking on the polished floor. Hinata dipped down to a receiving position as he was pushed over onto his back, but his cry of surprise caught in his throat as he looked up at where Kageyama was kneeling over him, his hands braced on either side of Hinata’s head. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s body heat beneath him, could feel Hinata’s torso rising and falling in time with his rapid breath. He stared into Hinata’s burning eyes until Kageyama was flooded with that feeling of all-consuming, domineering victory.</p>
<p>Kageyama woke up with a start. His limbs were twisted up in his sheets and he could feel his night shirt sticking to his back. Hinata’s face swam before his vision before bleeding away into the gloom of Kageyama’s bedroom. With a grunt half of irritation half of embarrassment, he pushed the sheets off and sat up to gulp down water from the bottle on the shelf above his bed. His stomach knotted with inward embarrassment at the dream he had just had. He remembered it so clearly. Why was he dreaming about Hinata like that? If his subconscious wanted to win so badly, why was he dreaming about dominating his teammate as opposed to beating a rival team together? He recalled that fierce, burning desire for triumph that accompanied his feelings toward volleyball and wondered how his brain had somehow associated that feeling with Hinata. Sure, Hinata could bring him to experience that feeling; they always scored the most satisfying points together when working as a pair, no one could deny that. Kageyama could almost say that Hinata was directly responsible for that overwhelming satisfaction that consumed him, body and soul, at a hard-won victory. But that feeling required them working as a team against a third party, not against each other.</p>
<p>The image of Sugawara-san and Daichi-san walking hand-in-hand floated to the front of his mind. He saw clearly in his mind’s eye the look of joy on Sugawara’s face as Daichi pulled him into a one-armed hug and pressed his lips into Sugawara’s hair. Suddenly, the scene in his imagination changed and Hinata appeared where Sugawara had been, and Kageyama was looking down at him from his own eyes instead of from far away. It was just like his dream had been from before. They were walking down the street from school towards Kageyama’s house like they had done ten times before in real life. Hinata was smiling and talking animatedly about something that fell on Kageyama’s dead ears. His heart picked up its pace at the thought of Hinata walking so close to him and talking so naturally as if being so near was normal. A warmth spread throughout Kageyama’s body when he saw the way Hinata looked up and beamed at him, smiling that too-bright smile just for him, and before he could register what he was imagining, he pictured himself wrapping his arm around Hinata’s shoulders, pulling him closer against his chest, and pressing a kiss into his fiery hair.</p>
<p>A jolt ran through Kageyama’s body and the image disappeared as fast as it had come. He fell back into bed with a huff and pulled the covers up to his chin, glowering at the ceiling. Not only were his thoughts idiotic, they were completely unrealistic. He could never be like that with Hinata, no matter how curious he might be. Just broaching the subject in real life would be disastrous. How would he even bring it up?<em> Hey, Hinata, I can’t stop thinking about how you lunged at me when we played against Seijoh? Hey, Hinata, I want you to look at me the way you do when we play? Hey, Hinata, I want you to make me feel like I do when I’m playing volleyball so that I can project my desire for victory onto you by dominating you physically?</em> Hinata would never, ever, in a million years accept anything that Kageyama could possibly say to him to instigate a more-than-friends situation. He wasn’t even sure what it was that he wanted from Hinata, if anything. All Kageyama could be sure of was that something between them had changed, on his part, and Hinata was suddenly occupying more of his thoughts and dreams than Kageyama deemed appropriate. He needed advice, and as he rolled over in bed and closed his eyes, he gritted his teeth at the prospect of bringing up the subject. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>At practice the following day, Kageyama brooded over what he knew had to be done. He ran through scenarios of dialogue in his head between plays and tried to find the best way to broach the subject. He felt unsure of everything that was whirling around in his head but the only thing he could trust was his teammate’s discretion. As the third-years fell back to the sidelines to take a drink break, Kageyama seized his chance.</p>
<p>‘Sugawara-san.’</p>
<p>‘Hm?’</p>
<p>Sugawara’s face turned from expectant to surprised when he saw who it was that had said his name.</p>
<p>‘Can I speak with you for a moment?’ asked Kageyama, not taking his eyes off Sugawara’s face.</p>
<p>Asahi and Daichi immediately turned and started a loud, forced conversation between themselves, leaving Kageyama and Sugawara alone.</p>
<p>‘What is it, Kageyama?’ said Sugawara, still looking surprised.</p>
<p>Kageyama turned and walked out to the door of the gym, pulling on his day shoes and heading out into the early evening light. Sugawara followed him to the taps were Kageyama wordlessly filled his water bottle and took a deep drink. Sugawara was hovering tentatively at the end of the taps.</p>
<p>‘Er – Kageyama?’</p>
<p>‘Can I talk to you about something personal?’</p>
<p>If Sugawara was taken aback by Kageyama’s serious tone, he didn’t allow it to show in his face.</p>
<p>‘Of course!’ he said, smiling. ‘I am your senpai after all. What is it?’</p>
<p>Kageyama knew there was no point in vague gestures or ambiguity. He had to be blunt and to-the-point to make the awkward conversation as short and to-the-point as possible.</p>
<p>‘I saw you with Sawamura-san yesterday. I guess you’re seeing each other.’</p>
<p>‘Oh!’ Sugawara grinned and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. ‘Well, Daichi isn’t one for subtlety, I guess you were bound to find out eventually. Yeah, we are seeing each other.’</p>
<p>Kageyama nodded slowly. He felt like there were many questions he wanted to ask about the nature of their relationship but at the same time didn’t want to pry or overstep his bounds.</p>
<p>‘Does that bother you?’ asked Sugawara.</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Kageyama, truthfully. ‘I’m just curious how you don’t let it affect your performance on the court.’</p>
<p>‘Well, it’s not as much of an issue as you might think,’ said Sugawara, crossing his arms thoughtfully. ‘Daichi is level-headed and responsible. He doesn’t let anything personal affect the way he plays, be it something to do with me or something else in his life. I try to be the same, you could say, or at least to be consistent and dependable. We have that in common so even if we have a disagreement or spat in our personal lives, we don’t bring it into the court with us.’</p>
<p>‘Is it really so easy?’ said Kageyama, letting his curiosity get the better of him. ‘Even if you have a fight or get into an argument about something, you can still play together like it’s nothing?’</p>
<p>‘It’s not always easy, no,’ said Sugawara, evenly. ‘We have a good relationship and work well together, but it isn’t always easy. But we have good communication and don’t really bicker about things so you don’t need to worry about that.’</p>
<p>‘Do you think it works for you because of your personality? That maybe it wouldn’t work for – for other people?’</p>
<p>Kageyama was starting to think that Sugawara might not be able to provide him with the most effective information. Sugawara was right in that he and Daichi were both very level-headed people and not the types to let personal matters get under their skin and affect their performance on the volleyball court, completely unlike Hinata and Kageyama who, Kageyama admitted to himself bitterly, were exactly the types to let their plays reflect their feelings. Hinata played volleyball half with his body and half with his emotions and Kageyama, well, he knew he definitely wasn’t immune to negativity.</p>
<p>‘I guess it depends on the person,’ said Sugawara slowly, and his eyes narrowed slightly. ‘Is there anyone you’re talking about in particular?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Kageyama, averting his gaze to the ground.</p>
<p>Part of him wanted to tell Sugawara, to confide in his senpai the thoughts that were whirring around in his head and infiltrating his dreams, but he knew that he couldn’t, not yet. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling and he certainly wasn’t ready to act on whatever those feelings might be.</p>
<p>‘I was just thinking hypothetically,’ he said finally. ‘Thank you for the advice.’</p>
<p>‘Y-you’re welcome,’ said Sugawara, seemingly surprised at the abrupt end of their conversation, but Kageyama was already walking away.</p>
<p>Kageyama felt irritated and he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps he had expected more from a conversation with Sugawara; that Sugawara would be able to provide him with the tools and means to pursue a teammate without it affecting their ability to play well together. Instead, he got vague answers as to how Sugawara and Daichi were ideal partners due to the intrinsic nature of their personalities – personalities that were so different to his own. The information was of no value to him.</p>
<p>He laced up his volleyball shoes slowly to allow Sugawara time to change his first and run back into the gym, and before following Kageyama found himself hovering in the doorway looking in, standing a few steps back in the growing dusk. He watched as Sugawara joined Narita and Nishinoya in their setting practice and noticed the flash of a glance shared between the silver-haired boy and Daichi from the other side of the court. Kageyama’s gaze moved over the players until it rested on Hinata’s orange head. Hinata was crouched in a receiving position, face scrunched up in concentration, the fire in his eyes alive as he watched Asahi run up to spike from over the net. Kageyama watched the muscles in Hinata’s legs twist and flex as he shifted his weight between his feet, poised to dive at the direction of the ball. Kageyama imagined Hinata looking at him with the same fire in his eyes and something primal and animalistic stirred in the pit of his stomach. For some reason that was completely beyond him, Kageyama wanted to see that look directed at him more than anything. He wanted to be responsible for that burning in Hinata’s eyes.</p>
<p>Somehow, Hinata’s desire for success and ability to win had crossed over from the volleyball court to nestle deep into Kageyama’s head, and Kageyama knew that, despite how hard he might try to suppress it, it wasn’t in his nature to leave a challenge unmet. He would have to act sooner or later, possibly to the detriment of his and Hinata’s ability to play together; but he couldn’t help feeling as if the situation was out of his control. It was as if he was waiting for something to change, for himself to make a move even though he had no idea what the move would be or when. The only thing that he could be sure of was that his subconscious had wrapped itself around the memory of their embrace and only spurred him on to draw more out of his orange-haired teammate. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. What Happens in the Courtyard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The depression of being defeated at the Interhigh Preliminaries had gradually eased in the weeks following the competition and the members of Karasuno volleyball team had once again delved deep into giving their all to training. The fact that the match had been a close one pushed them further to train as much as they could to bridge the gap between themselves and Aoba Johsai; not to mention, the upcoming training camp with two other schools from Tokyo spurred them on to improve as fast as possible.</p><p>Kageyama found that the confusion he had been feeling over his and Hinata's embrace lessened slightly with every passing day and he was gradually able to focus again on training. After all, it had been a friendly embrace in the heat of the moment. Nothing else out-of-the-ordinary had come to pass between them and Hinata quickly fell back to being his annoying and stupid teammate. One thing that remained strong between them that Kageyama didn’t share with anyone else was their equal devotion to practice. They often stayed in the gym long after everyone else had left, or practiced tossing the ball to one another in the yard outside.</p><p>‘Alright, good job everyone, that’s enough for today,’ called Coach Ukai.</p><p>‘Good job!’ everyone chimed.</p><p>‘Don’t worry about packing up,’ said Hinata, as Asahi wheeled over the ball crate. ‘We’re gonna stay a bit longer.’</p><p>‘Are you guys going to practice your quick again?’ asked Asahi.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘It still needs a lot of work because Hinata is so slow.’</p><p>‘Hey!’ snapped Hinata, while Tsukishima sniggered.</p><p>‘Well, practice hard,’ said Daichi, clapping Hinata on the shoulder. ‘We’ll need you in top form for the training camp!’</p><p>‘We will!’ said Hinata and Kageyama in unison.</p><p>The gym emptied and Kageyama and Hinata took up their positions beside the net. The training camp that they would have with Nekoma and Fukurodani was fast approaching and Kageyama was determined to at least win some matches against them. They had had one training camp with them before some weeks before the Preliminaries and the familiarity they shared only meant that Kageyama knew the names of those he wanted to crush. In their last training camp, Karasuno had been soundly beaten by both teams; now, however, there was an underlying desperation in all of them for redemption.</p><p>As they had agreed previously, Kageyama and Hinata planned to devote this evening to getting their lightning-fast minus-tempo quick down. The time they spent studying had been cutting into their allotted volleyball practice and Kageyama was filled with unprecedented energy upon knowing that he had nothing more to devote his evening to than training. He found that, when his mind was focussed on volleyball, the distracting thoughts that had been keeping him up at night dissipated. The sport would always take his worries away. But, even still, he couldn’t help the fact that his gaze lingered on Hinata a little longer than usual and he found himself following the boy with his eyes wherever he went. No matter how much he thought that he had moved on from the embrace, it came flooding back into his mind when he least expected it. <em>Get a grip</em>, he told himself, angrily.</p><p>‘Okay,’ said Hinata, his face set. ‘Let’s do this!’</p><p>Kageyama tried his best to focus on practice. He moved through the motions of setting and tossing but he couldn’t seem to fully focus. There was Hinata, watching his movements with hawk-like eyes, his muscles tensing and flexing as he prepared his body for the motions he was about to make; it took all of Kageyama’s attention. It was as if he was drawn into the existence of his teammate that dominated his senses. No matter how many times they went for it, they just couldn’t get in sync. Kageyama was tossing, tossing and trying to toss in just the right place, but every time Hinata’s hand would fly through the air unhindered he would get more and more irritated. Hinata, too, was feeling the frustration of missing every toss. Almost half an hour passed without Hinata even touching the ball once and Kageyama could feel his nerves beginning to fray.</p><p>‘What if I keep my eyes closed like before?’ suggested Hinata.</p><p>‘No, that defeats the purpose!’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘I just wanna hit the ball!’</p><p>‘I know that!’</p><p>‘Just toss it like you did before,’ insisted Hinata. ‘I wanna hit it over, just once!’</p><p>‘No!’ Kageyama gritted his teeth in annoyance. ‘There's no point in practicing if we’re just gonna keep doing it the same way. I’ll get it, I just need more time.’</p><p>‘How much time are you gonna need…’ muttered Hinata, but Kageyama heard.</p><p>He whipped around to glare daggers at the decoy.</p><p>‘What did you say?!’ he demanded.</p><p>Hinata's eyes widened with fear as he realised what he had said. He held up his hands palms-forward in a show of forfeit and Kageyama bore down upon him like a thundercloud.</p><p>‘I didn’t -!<em> Argh!</em>’</p><p>He yelped as Kageyama grabbed him roughly by the front of his shirt.</p><p>‘Sorry, sorry!’ said Hinata hurriedly.</p><p>He grinned innocently and took hold of Kageyama’s fist that was clenched around the fabric of his shirt. The warmth of Hinata’s hand over his cause Kageyama’s heart to leap and he let go of Hinata as if he had been burned.</p><p>‘Come on,’ he said, gruffly. ‘Get into position.’</p><p>Hinata did as he was told and they continued practicing. Still, they couldn't connect. No matter how many times Hinata leapt and Kageyama tossed, the ball fell with a thud onto the floor and rolled away. Hinata’s annoyance turned to aggravation and he planted his feet on the floor to face the setter.</p><p>‘Kageyama, are you even looking at me?!’ he said, exasperatedly. ‘Watch what I’m doing!’</p><p>‘Don’t you think I know that?!’ Kageyama snapped back. ‘You’re just not going fast enough!’</p><p>As soon as those last words left his mouth, Kageyama regretted them. Hinata let his hands drop to his sides and he stared at Kageyama, now looking more incredulous than irritated. Guilt and exhaustion tore at Kageyama’s entire body and a dark cloud of self-hatred fell onto him. He hated to see Hinata looking at him like that and all of that hatred was being channelled inwardly.</p><p>‘I’m trying, okay?!,’ said Kageyama, barely able to look at Hinata’s face. ‘I know I shouldn’t take out my frustration on you but, it just really pisses me off when you can’t give me a break for two seconds!’</p><p>His brow furrowed and he kicked himself internally. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. He tried to calm down and communicate to Hinata what it was that he was really feeling.</p><p>‘You said once that you didn’t want us to not get along because everyone on this side of the net is an ally,’ Kageyama continued, ‘and you’re right. I know that I used to be egocentric and dominating, with volleyball and with everything else too, and it’s something I’m working on and I’m trying to change, even though I can only seem to make it work with you. I’m trying to watch you and get in sync with you; I don’t know why it’s not working like it did before.’</p><p>‘It’s okay, I know all that. I mean, why do you think I like you so much?’ said Hinata, his head tilted slightly to one side.</p><p>The words echoed in Kageyama’s empty skull. His eyes snapped to Hinata’s.</p><p>‘What do you mean? You – you like me?’ he stammered.</p><p>‘Um, yeah?’ Hinata rubbed the back of his neck shyly and grinned. ‘I thought it was kinda obvious.’</p><p>‘Obvious?’ Kageyama was floored.</p><p>‘Well, yeah; then again you are pretty clueless,’ said Hinata, tapping his chin. ‘Sorry if it makes things awkward. I just assumed you knew already because I’m not great at being subtle.’</p><p>Kageyama was completely dumbfounded. Was this a confession? Was a confession happening right now to him from Hinata? He was caught so off-guard by the timing and the content that all he could do was stare blankly at the decoy, who was blushing slightly either from exhaustion or embarrassment or both.</p><p>‘How could I have ever guessed that you liked me?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘I mean, I hugged you at that one game against Seijoh, then I made sure to always sit near you on the bus, and we play fight all the time, and I told you to keep Yachi-san’s notes so that we’d have an excuse to study together…’</p><p>‘You <em>what</em>?’</p><p>‘… and I feel like I kind of touch you all the time? I don’t always mean to but it’s hard to resist, y’know? It just feels nice to be close to you, I guess.’</p><p>Kageyama was sure that Hinata could almost see the mechanisms of realisation working inside his head. Hinata liked him? The idea was absolutely impossible and yet here it was staring him in the face. Incidents that had gone unexplained clicked, one-by-one, into place now that the missing piece of information was able to make sense of everything. The hug, the touching, the closeness, the dreams. Suddenly, Kageyama looked up at Hinata with a blazing look in his eyes.</p><p>‘Hinata, I –’</p><p>‘Hey, what are you kids still doing here?’</p><p>Kageyama’s words died in his mouth and he and Hinata looked over to where the janitor was standing in the doorway.</p><p>‘We practiced overtime, sorry it’s so late!’ said Hinata, with a formality that caught Kageyama off guard considering the tense moment that had been interrupted.</p><p>He wondered if Hinata was really so innocent or if he was just incredibly adept at hiding his true feelings. He immediately and strongly doubted that airhead Hinata could be so deep.</p><p>‘I have to wax the floors now,’ said the janitor.</p><p>‘Okay, do you mind if we tidy up?’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘I’ll lock up the storage rooms and come back in five minutes.’</p><p>‘Right. Sorry again!’</p><p>The janitor left and a weighted silence fell on the gym.</p><p>‘What were you going to say?’ asked Hinata, quickly.</p><p>‘Forget it, the janitor might come back,’ said Kageyama, avoiding Hinata’s eye. ‘Just get the mop, I want to get out of here.’</p><p>They cleaned up in silence. Kageyama’s head was spinning. Hinata <em>liked</em> him, in a romantic way? At first it sounded insane but the more he thought about it, the more stupid he felt for not realising it before. Or maybe he had subconsciously realised it and it was because of that that he had been having dreams and intrusive thoughts about Hinata lately. A sudden, hungry curiosity blew up in his chest to do things that he had been, up until now, carefully suppressing. If Hinata liked him, it meant there was a whole world of opportunity before him. Memories flashed through his mind of their play fights and of them sitting side-by-side on his bedroom floor. If he had known then that Hinata liked him, would he have done anything differently? Would he have touched him more, pushed him further, tested the limits of their relationship? Or would he have even wanted to?</p><p>They changed their shoes, donned their jackets and bags, and all the while Kageyama felt electrically aware of Hinata's presence beside him. He kept watching the movements of the decoy out of the corner of his eye and wondering if he was the same person as before or if something about him had inherently changed. They said goodnight to the janitor who closed the gym doors behind them. As soon as they were out of earshot of the gym, Kageyama stopped in his tracks between two lamps and Hinata, after a couple of paces, realised Kageyama wasn’t walking beside him anymore and looked back through the gloom. The air between them was still, almost tense, and the overhead lights were abuzz with moths and other nighttime insects. Other than the sound of a distant vehicle, they were completely alone.</p><p>‘What is it?’ Hinata asked, turning to face the setter.</p><p>‘Since when did you start liking me?’ said Kageyama, his voice low.</p><p>There were questions burning in his mind that he had to know. A part of him wondered if the answers would make his own feelings make any more sense to him. Hinata, at least, seemed to understand the workings of his own brain enough to ensure his feelings for Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, I’m not quite sure.’ Hinata twisted the hem of his jacket nervously. ‘I guess around the time when we first did our quick?’</p><p>‘That was months ago.’</p><p>‘I know,’ said Hinata, sheepishly. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re super annoying and stupid, but… I also think you’re amazing.’</p><p>The words were too much. Hinata thought he was amazing? There was no way it was true and yet here Hinata was standing two metres in front of him proclaiming it to be reality. Kageyama didn’t know what to say. His own thoughts and feelings were a whirlwind of confusion that he couldn’t understand in that moment. Instead of trying to unravel what he wanted, he decided to let curiosity and instinct guide his actions.</p><p>‘Hinata?’ Kageyama’s heart was thudding in his ears. He felt himself throwing caution to the wind and letting go of his inhibitions. ‘Can I… hold your hand?’</p><p>A jolt of surprise widened Hinata’s eyes and his shoulders visibly tensed.</p><p>‘Yes,’ he blurted out.</p><p>His face set, Kageyama closed the gap between them in a few strides, reached out and took hold of Hinata’s hand in his own. Hinata flinched at the touch as if expecting pain that usually accompanied physical contact from Kageyama but then his shoulders relaxed when he realised the touch was gentle. He looked down at their clasped hands.</p><p>‘Your hands are kind of bigger than mine,’ said Hinata, as if noticing for the first time.</p><p>Hinata’s hand was warm and utterly relaxed in Kageyama’s. Kageyama himself was well aware of the size of Hinata’s hand in proximity to his; he had been aware of it since they had wrestled on the floor of the volleyball court weeks ago. Late at night, Kageyama couldn’t get the memory of the heat of it out of his head. He wondered vaguely if that was a weird thing to be aware of.</p><p>‘Come on,’ he said, finally. ‘Let’s get your bike.’</p><p>Hinata looked up at him in sudden anxiety, clearly thinking that Kageyama had had enough of holding hands already, but his anxieties were quashed as Kageyama entwined their fingers together and led him away towards the bike rack, not letting go for even a moment. As they walked side-by-side, hands clasped and arms touching, Kageyama’s heart was racing. Secretly, he had been wondering about more-than-friends physical contact between them and how it could happen, and finally Hinata was sharing something kind and gentle instead of teasing or domineering. This new thing they had between them was utterly private and their own, just like their quicks and that unspoken connection that allowed them to work so well in volleyball; now, they were holding hands, alone at night in the twilit campus. Kageyama’s stomach was doing backflips and he carefully avoided Hinata’s eye.</p><p>They reached the bike rack and Kageyama let go of Hinata’s hand. His face was oddly expressionless but Hinata surely knew him well enough by now to know that if he didn’t like holding hands, he wouldn’t have done it. At least, Kageyama wasn’t the type to do anything he didn’t want to for the sake of someone else’s feelings.</p><p>‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Kageyama said, stiffly.</p><p>‘O-okay,’ said Hinata.</p><p>He took out his bike and mounted it.</p><p>‘See you,’ said Hinata, and a shining grin split across his face.</p><p>Kageyama suppressed a smile.</p><p>‘Yeah, see you.’</p><p>Kageyama stood by the bike rack and watched Hinata’s flaming hair fade into the night-time darkness. He squeezed his hand into a fist and buried it into his pocket, holding on to the feeling of Hinata’s touch, and told himself<em> tomorrow, just wait to see what tomorrow will bring</em>. </p><p>* * *</p><p>The following day, Kageyama was distracted. He couldn’t fully focus on the lessons and his eyes kept darting between his watch and the door even though he wasn’t waiting for anything. During lunch, he stayed in the classroom and tried to convince himself that he wasn’t hiding, he just didn’t feel like getting anything from the vending machine today. When the final bell rang and he made his way to the gym, his stomach was churning. He hadn’t seen Hinata since their encounter the previous evening and he wasn’t sure if their dynamic had changed. He dug his hands into his pockets and watched his shoes as he walked down the corridor. What if things we weird between them now? What if their relationship was awkward? What if – and this thought scared him the most – there was rift between them on the volleyball court? Despite the fact that Hinata had made the confession, it had been Kageyama’s idea to hold hands. He had agonised the previous night if it had been a weird thing to ask and he wondered if he would have done the same thing in the clarity of daylight. There had been something about being alone together in the dark campus, holed up in the courtyard away from everyone else that had made it easy for Kageyama to get lost in the bubble of closeness that formed around them, but being at school when it was full of people made him second-guess what had transpired between them the previous evening. He wondered if it had been a bad idea. He wondered if Hinata would even be able to look him in the eye at practice. He wondered if they would even be able to play normally together. These thoughts and more whirled around his head so that he didn’t register the sound of running footsteps until they were upon him. A flash of orange  blew by him and Kageyama’s legs instinctively leapt into action.</p><p>‘Oh, no you don’t!’ he growled, and sprung after Hinata in a race for the gym.</p><p>The two boys thundered down the stairs and across the yard, running as if for their lives.</p><p>‘I – beat – you!’ Hinata panted.</p><p>He stood in triumph, hands on hips, at the door of the gym. Kageyama was doubled over, wheezing.</p><p>‘You had - a head start,’ he protested, between breaths.</p><p>‘You should have been paying more attention.’</p><p>‘Get inside, dumbass! I’m still beating you in total.’</p><p>‘Only for now! I’ll catch up, just you wait…’</p><p>Kageyama quickly realised that his worries had been for nothing. They played with as much focus and communication as always and the rest of the team cheered when, for the first time, Hinata spiked their new dynamic quick. Hinata stared at his palm in disbelief as Tanaka slapped his back in congratulations. Kageyama was almost overwhelmed with the urge to grab Hinata by the shoulders and yell praise into his face, but he steeled himself to a single proud nod.</p><p>‘Took you long enough,’ he said, though there was no malice in his voice.</p><p>‘I could say the same to you,’ grinned Hinata.</p><p>Compared with the previous evening, training with Hinata that afternoon was easy. Kageyama’s limbs moved fluidly in the familiar motions and his mind was utterly focussed. Doing this was what he was best at; it was what he knew how to do. Precision and surety carried the volleyball to where it was meant to be and Hinata met him in the middle to complete the attack with perfection. Every time the ball flew over the net and smacked into the floor, Kageyama’s pride grew. When Hinata yelled, ‘<em>Alright!</em>’ in victory, or cried aloud with the joy of success, Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat. His chest swelled with private pride in knowing that he had made Hinata feel good. Something about the way Hinata’s face shone, the fire in his eyes, the beaming smile on his face, drove Kageyama on and on to perfect his toss. He craved Hinata’s gaze of burning victory and desired nothing more than to see that look directed at him and him alone. It drove him to train harder, to try more, to push himself further to perfect his toss.</p><p>At the end of their training session, Takeda-sensei met them in the gym and gathered the team over.</p><p>‘Okay, everyone, it’s finally time for us to head to Tokyo tomorrow,’ he announced, to titters of excitement. ‘Then, you’ll be able to put your new moves to the test against highly-ranked players. We will be leaving from school early so please remember to wake up on time!’</p><p>‘We will!’ the team chimed in unison.</p><p>‘Your hard work won’t let you down,’ said Coach Ukai, hands on his hips and surveying the team with firm pride. ‘I’m sure we can win a few matches against Nekoma and Fukurodani, and as much as I’d love to have you use your sure-fire tactics to wipe that smug smile off Coach Nekomata’s face, we should focus on improving our new strategies. We won’t get as good an opportunity to practice them for a while so make this one count.’</p><p>‘Right!’ chorused the team.</p><p>‘Make sure to rest and see you all in the morning,’ finished Coach Ukai, and he turned to discuss logistics with Takeda-sensei as the team members moved about the gym to pack up.</p><p>It was already properly dark outside because each team member had wanted to stay and train for as long as they possibly could in preparation for the training camp. Yamaguchi and Asahi had practiced their serves, Nishinoya and Sugawara had tossed more times than they could count, Tsukishima and Daichi had practiced receives with Ennoshita, and Hinata and Kageyama had gone through the motions of their new quick. They had all practiced various moves old and new as far as their tired bodies could take them.</p><p>‘We’re going to show Nekoma and Fukurodani how much we’ve improved since last time!’ said Daichi, gripping his fist in readiness.</p><p>‘Do you think they have all-new moves, too?’ asked Hinata.</p><p>‘Obviously,’ drawled Tsukishima. ‘We’re not the only team practicing.’</p><p>‘We’ll keep our eye on them, no problem,’ smiled Sugawara. ‘They’ve taught us a lot in the past, I’m sure we’re still going to learn a lot from them.’</p><p>‘That’s a nice way of saying they beat us to a pulp,’ said Tsukishima.</p><p>‘I wanna beat them so bad!’ said Hinata, gritting his teeth. ‘Bokuto-san is just so cool, I want him to notice me! You know, he’s in the top five spikers in the whole country?’</p><p>‘Really?’ said Tsukishima, his voice laced with sarcasm. ‘I guess I didn’t hear the last ten times you’ve told us that in the past week.’</p><p>Hinata scowled which only made Tsukishima smirk.</p><p>‘Okay, rest up, guys, and see you tomorrow!’ called Daichi, shouldering his bag and heading out with the other third-years.</p><p>‘See you tomorrow!’</p><p>The others left in pairs or groups of three. Kageyama pulled his shoes on slowly, purposefully lingering behind in the hope of being alone with Hinata. He wasn’t even sure why – he didn’t have anything he wanted to say to the decoy. Maybe he wanted to congratulate him on spiking their new quick, or to discuss their gameplay strategy; but no, he knew it wasn’t that. The image of Hinata standing shrouded in shadow in the courtyard bloomed in front of his mind. His hand burned with the heat of Hinata’s touch. A flush crept up the back of his neck and Kageyama gritted his teeth.</p><p>‘Oi, Shouyou, hurry up or you’re walking alone!’ came Nishinoya’s voice calling from the edge of the courtyard.</p><p>A few of the second-years were standing under the light of a courtyard lamp, obviously waiting for Hinata who was zipping up his jacket as he kicked off his shoes next to where Kageyama was seated at the edge of the gym.</p><p>‘Coming, Noya-san!’ Hinata called back.</p><p>Now that he wasn’t playing volleyball, Kageyama’s mind was whirring. The hot flush crept higher into his cheeks as Hinata pulled on his outdoor shoes, his arm mere inches away.</p><p>‘Hey, good work today, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, grinning. ‘We got that quick down pat, Kenma won’t believe it.’</p><p>‘Y-yeah, good work,’ stammered Kageyama, and he watched Hinata bound out of the gym, shoving his kneepads into his bag as he went.</p><p>‘See you tomorrow!’ Hinata called over his shoulder, with a wave of his hand.</p><p>‘See you,’ said Kageyama, but he wasn’t sure that Hinata heard him.</p><p>Kageyama watched as Hinata extracted his bike from the rack and wheeled it at his side as he joined the second-years. The group of them left the courtyard, followed by Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, and Kageyama was left alone sitting on the gym steps. <em>‘Good work today, Kageyama!</em>’ Kageyama felt stupid. He had thought that Hinata would linger behind too, maybe for the same reason Kageyama had. He had thought that they could have a moment alone like they had yesterday. <em>I’m an idiot</em>. Kageyama gritted his teeth and dragged his bag strap across his body.</p><p>He walked home alone with his hands buried in his pockets. He was feeling unusually tired and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. In his mind’s eye, he kept seeing Hinata’s face alight with that childlike, disbelieving joy that Kageyama had come to expect after a successful spike. It made his chest feel tight and warm, and the thought that he directly caused Hinata to look like that made his heart swell. Despite their platonic departure, Kageyama couldn’t feel particularly bad about it.</p><p>As he got into bed that evening and set his alarm for 04:00, he sighed with contentment that at least he would be seeing Hinata again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. For three days straight they would be together all day every day. Kageyama would see Hinata when he woke up and see him before he went to sleep. He would eat his meals with him and play volleyball with him. Kageyama wondered if he would hold Hinata’s hand again once they were there. He wondered if he would touch Hinata, or if he would even have the opportunity to during their days of intense volleyball training with around thirty other people sharing the same space.</p><p>Kageyama imagined Hinata laughing and entwining his fingers with Kageyama’s, and he imagined them walking side-by-side to the gym with their shoulders touching. He imagined a dark, moonlit room full of sleeping students and Hinata’s eyes burning with a fire of fierce, desperate determination shimmering through the darkness at him. The image stirred something hot in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach and he squirmed in bed, feeling a hot flush bloom up his cheeks. <em>No</em>, he told himself, firmly. <em>Don’t think about Hinata like that</em>. But the images kept coming. He imagined Hinata grabbing him by the shoulders and staring at him in disbelieving wonder as if he had just scored the winning point in a three-set match. He imagined Hinata running across the court with a blazing look in his face and throwing his arms around Kageyama’s neck just as he had done in their match against Aoba Johsai in the last tournament; but in his imagination, instead of dropping Hinata, Kageyama saw himself gripping him by the hair and pulling Hinata’s head back so that their faces with an inch apart, Hinata’s slightly higher than his own as he was lifted in Kageyama’s arms. Kageyama saw his resolve melt under Hinata’s blazing, fiery gaze, and instead of letting go, he pressed his lips hard against Hinata’s and kissed him with passion to match.</p><p>Kageyama sat bolt upright in bed and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. <em>Don’t think about that!</em> He growled at himself; but his heart wasn’t truly in it. He replayed the scene over and over again in his mind as he drifted off to sleep, and when his alarm rang in the morning, his head was filled with the remnants of confused dreams of running and flying. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, this chapter was very slightly shorter than the previous two and I think the rest from here onwards will be around this length. I hope that's okay! I'm uploading new chapters twice a week so hopefully the shorter length isn't a problem. Thank you for reading and I hope you're enjoying so far - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Bus Rides and Bathwater</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bus trip was to be a long one and the entire volleyball team, Shimizu, Yachi and Ukai were all yawning. Only Takeda-sensei seemed bright and refreshed to face the still-dark day. He volunteered to drive first, much to Ukai’s relief, and the coach settled into the passenger seat and promptly fell asleep with his face pressed against the window. Due to the amount of baggage with them, many seats were taken up by nothing but backpacks and Hinata threw himself down into the seat next to Kageyama.</p><p>‘Do you wanna watch a movie on my phone, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata, with enough brightness to make up for the lack of sun. ‘We have so much time to kill until we get to Tokyo.’</p><p>‘I want to sleep,’ said Kageyama, wearily. ‘How are you not tired?’</p><p>‘I kind of am,’ shrugged Hinata. ‘But I’m used to waking up early to bike to school. Not like you, <em>Bateyama-kun</em>.’</p><p>Kageyama turned to stare daggers into Hinata’s eyes until the decoy begged for mercy. After a reprimand from Daichi, they settled back quietly into their seats and Takeda-sensei drove them out of campus towards the highway. From somewhere in the back of the bus, Tanaka was already snoring. The seat in front of them was illuminated by the light from Tsukishima’s phone. Kageyama leaned back against the headrest and crossed his arms in front of himself. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata scrolling through social media on his phone. Kageyama closed his eyes.</p><p>There was something about the darkness and quiet of the bus that made their little booth feel so intimate. Kageyama was acutely aware of Hinata’s physical presence next to him, mere inches away, and the single point of contact between their upper arms was alight with electricity. He assumed that Hinata was completely oblivious but to him it was glaring as a floodlight in the dark. A part of him entertained the prospect of holding out his hand, palm-up, for Hinata to interpret, but he quickly quashed the idea. Now was not the time or place, nor did he have the guts to be so bold. Instead, he relaxed and allowed the gentle sway of the minibus to lull him into a sleep of fits and starts. In the hours to Tokyo, he vaguely registered Hinata’s arm, lax and warm, pressed against him, but otherwise only emerged to consciousness after the bus stopped and Takeda-sensei announced that they had arrived.</p><p>They were to stay at a small training facility north of the city which they had booked for the long weekend. There was a large gym space with four courts and a smaller clubhouse building next door where they would eat, sleep and spend time after hours. The gym itself was nothing out of the ordinary but Hinata and Nishinoya’s heart-eyes drank in the sights as if they were at the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. To them, everything was “awesome!” or “super cool!” and Kageyama followed the team at the back, feeling sullen.</p><p>The Nekoma and Fukurodani teams were already warming up in the main gym. Even Kageyama felt the formidable atmosphere as soon as the gym doors opened and the giants that were Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev and Washio stopped playing among their peers and looked over to greet the latecomers.</p><p>‘Ooh, you finally made it!’ called Kuroo, waving his arm. ‘Get your bib on, Tsukki, we’ve been waiting for you!’</p><p>Bokuto grinned and waved Tsukishima over which made Tsukishima scowl and Hinata tremble with envy.</p><p>The teammates mingled for a while to exchange pleasantries while their coaches and teachers chatted amicably about the upcoming days of training and practice matches. Tsukishima was cornered by Bokuto, Akaashi and Kuroo to answer probing questions about his training progress since they last met; Tanaka and Nishinoya sought out Yamamoto and filled him in on the more exciting encounters with Shimizu that he had missed; Sugawara and Yaku gushed over each other’s team’s accomplishments at the previous tournament; Hinata chatted excitedly with Kozume, Lev and Inuoka, Kozume looking bemused while the other two matched Hinata’s excitement. Then, the Karasuno team was directed to their sleeping quarters where they could deposit their belongings before starting the practice matches.</p><p>The day went as much as Kageyama had predicted minus the more intrusive thoughts that had plagued him the previous night and that morning. After breakfast, they played some light warm-up games to get them prepared for the actual practice matches that would follow later in the day.</p><p>‘Seeing as we’ve got four courts, we’re going to play some four-aside matches,’ Coach Nekomata announced, ‘but to make it more interesting, every time three points are scored a player from each side has to swap teams until everyone has played in a partnership with each of the three other players. Understood?’</p><p>‘Kageyama, want to be my partner?’ asked Hinata, immediately turning to the setter beside him.</p><p>‘Fine,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Great! Who else should we be with? Oi, Tsukishima!’</p><p>‘No, thanks,’ said Tsukishima immediately, in his usual bored drawl.</p><p>‘Come on,’ Hinata insisted. ‘Karasuno first-years against the rest! What do you say, Yamaguchi?’</p><p>‘Sure!’ Yamaguchi grinned.</p><p>Tsukishima rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be grouped with Hinata, Kageyama and Yamaguchi. The others all slowly divided themselves into groups of four.</p><p>‘Why are you always partnering up with me, anyway?’ Kageyama asked Hinata. ‘You could be in a pair with Kozume-san or Inuoka, aren’t you friends with them?’</p><p>Hinata looked at him blankly.</p><p>‘Well, you’re a genius at volleyball so I want to learn how to beat you,’ he said, frowning as if the fact was obvious. ‘And I can’t partner up with those guys because I want to play against them.’</p><p>‘So, you just want to be my partner so you can spy on me?’</p><p>‘Not spy, just try to figure you out so I’ll be prepared when we finally verse each other for real.’</p><p>‘Yeah? And when will that be? We're on the same team, dumbass.’</p><p>‘How am I supposed to know?! It’ll happen at some point, though.’</p><p>‘Right, right…’</p><p>They bickered lightly as the rest of the teams got into groups and Coaches Nekomata and Ukai chose groups that would play against one another. The Karasuno third-years plus Ennoshita were to play against the Fukurodani third-years that consisted of Bokuto, Akaashi, Washio and Konoha. Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were to play against the older Nekoma boys: Kozume, Kuroo, Yaku and Kai. This greatly excited Hinata who was staring at his rival senpais with a mixture of awe and determination on his face. Kageyama, too, felt excitement pump through his veins at the prospect of playing against older and more experienced students. Tsukishima crossed his arms with an expression of forced boredom on his face in spite of the fact that the Nekoma captain was smirking at him from across the net.</p><p>‘Let’s see if you remember any of the blocking techniques I taught you from the last camp, Tsukki,’ he said, with a glint in his eye.</p><p>‘So cool!’ Hinata breathed, enviously.</p><p>Tsukishima pretended not to hear him. Once they started playing, it was clear that the Karasuno first-years were no match for the older Nekoma students; however, the dynamic didn’t last as the players switched sides every three points. Kageyama was very curious to see how he would play alongside members of a rival school and he found that he switched easily to spiking when Kozume was on his side. When Kozume set to him, he whacked the ball over the net with as much force as he could muster. It ricocheted off the tips of Tsukishima’s fingers, much to Kageyama’s annoyance, and Yaku was able to make contact and get the ball to where Kai slammed it into the opposite side of the court. Kageyama tutted under his breath.</p><p>‘Don’t just stand there!’ he snapped at Hinata. ‘Receive!’</p><p>‘R-Right!’ said Hinata, who was clearly still reeling from the power of Kai’s spike.  </p><p>‘Oi, did you injure your fingers?’ asked Kuroo, looking at Tsukishima.</p><p>‘It’s fine,’ said Tsukishima, immediately.</p><p>He was holding the hand that the ball had hit and had a grimace on his face that told otherwise.</p><p>‘You should strap them together, you know,’ said the Nekoma captain. ‘Hey, I have some tape with me in my bag, I’ll give some to you.’ He turned to the others. ‘Can we have a brief time-out?’</p><p>‘I don’t need that,’ said Tsukishima.</p><p>‘Sure,’ said Kozume, speaking softly over Tsukishima. ‘We can practice without you for a moment.’</p><p>Kageyama watched with a scowl as Tsukishima was led off court to where the Nekoma team’s bags were gathered at the edge of the gym and Kuroo proceeded to tape up the blond boy’s fingers.</p><p>They played, they lost, they ate, they practiced, and they mingled in the evening. The third-years went to bathe together while the others set up their beds in the clubrooms. Hinata was chatting animatedly with Inuoka and Lev as they looked on at where Kozume was playing on his handheld console. Kageyama unfolded his futon in the corner beside Hinata’s and above Tsukishima’s. He felt oddly empty and distracted as he put sheets on his bedding. He thought that he had played well throughout the day despite Karasuno generally losing overall and his heart had soared every time he set tosses that led to victories. More than once, he had clenched his teeth when Hinata had looked at him with his eyes burning after scoring a point. When their freak quick succeeded, a clarity filled his mind that reminded him why he had trained and studied so hard over the past few weeks. Hinata had stared at his flushing palm before gripping his fist shut with conviction and an odd sense of pride had driven Kageyama to set Karasuno to victory against Fukurodani before the rival team took back the winning title in the following game. But, Kageyama couldn’t help but draw into himself when he saw how easily Hinata fit people that weren’t him. He felt more and more introverted the more he saw Hinata smile and laugh and joke with everyone around him.</p><p>Kageyama lay on his front on top of his bed and flicked aimlessly through <em>Volleyball Monthly</em> magazine without really taking in the content. Eventually, the second-years went to bathe and then some of the first-years in pairs or smaller groups replaced them. When Tsukishima came back with a towel around his shoulders and his blond hair dripping down the nape of his neck, Kageyama was pulled out of his thoughts.</p><p>‘Is the bath free?’ he asked, as Tsukishima sat down on his own bed a little bit away.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘You might want to go before the others if you want to save your sanity.’</p><p>Tsukishima put his headphones on and lay back on his bed to flick through his phone. He had been lying down for all of ten seconds when Kuroo walked over and stood over him with a lazy smirk on his face and a curious glint in his eye. Tsukishima sat up, glaring at the Nekoma captain for a moment before smiling with sarcastic sweetness and asking what he wanted.</p><p>‘Think you can get out of evening practice?’ said Kuroo. ‘Come on, the night is young.’</p><p>‘I’m fine, thank you,’ said Tsukishima, putting his headphones back on. ‘Maybe tomorrow.’</p><p>Tsukishima’s casualness with the third-year took Kageyama by surprise and he glanced up to see Kuroo’s reaction, but the Nekoma captain merely slipped Tsukishima’s headphones off and grabbed him by the wrist.</p><p>‘Yeah, sure,’ he said, pulling Tsukishima to his feet. ‘You’re not getting out of it that easily.’</p><p>Glaring, Tsukishima allowed himself to be lead out of the room, his wrist firmly in Kuroo’s grasp. Kageyama got up, grabbed his towel and disappeared into the hallway, closing the door against the chatter and laughter from inside. The hallway was mercifully quiet and Kageyama made his way to the bathroom alone. A cloud of steam burst into the hallway when he opened the door and the floor was wet from those that had been there before him. He undressed quickly and showered but as he was about to step into the bath, a thought occurred to him and he strode across the room to switch off the lights. The bathroom was plunged into darkness but Kageyama’s eyes soon adjusted. Light streamed in through the windows that were set high up in the walls. Pale silvery light from the street lights outside refracted off the surface of the water as Kageyama stepped into the bath and he sunk into the steamy warmth up to his chin, wishing nothing more than to duck down to the bottom and hide there until morning. The image of Hinata’s laughing face swam in front of his mind. Memories of the day flitted through his head: Lev’s hand resting on Hinata’s arm, the way Hinata and Kozume leaned their heads close together to look at something on Kozume’s phone, Bokuto grinning and ruffling Hinata’s hair. An evil creature of jealousy swelled up in Kageyama’s chest at the memories. The feeling caught him off guard – he wasn’t usually a jealous person. Then again, he mused sullenly, he hadn’t really had anyone to feel jealous over before. He had never shown interest in anyone before more than as a peer or opponent on the volleyball court. Anyone else seemed either irrelevant or a possible hindrance to his ability to pursue his passion for the sport. He had never found someone with whom he could share that passion, who completely and utterly understood his obsession with volleyball and who reciprocated his all-consuming drive to win; at least, until now…</p><p>The thought that there was someone out there who shared his interests that he wanted to be with made him feel oddly lonely. It was probably because of that loneliness that he retreated from the lights and chatter of the club rooms to the quiet, dimly lit bathroom where he could be alone. Here, he could sit and think in peace with nothing but drops of water to interrupt his musing.</p><p>Kageyama exhaled deeply and absently swished his hands through the water in front of him. <em>‘Why do you think I like you so much?’</em> The words spoken in Hinata’s voice repeated in his head and made his heart skip a beat. Hinata liked him, in a romantic way – or, in some weird way of Hinata’s own that was something more than friends. They had held hands in the courtyard and then… nothing. When Hinata had confessed to him, despite the circumstance being unconventional, Kageyama had thought that things between them would change; but, outside of that evening, he wouldn’t be able to tell that anything important had happened. The thought disturbed him. When Hinata confessed, Kageyama thought that that meant that their relationship, or whatever one wanted to call it, would progress. He thought that Hinata would instigate something, anything, or that <em>something</em> would be different, but Hinata had been treating him completely normally. It confused him and made him question Hinata’s words. He wondered if Hinata really understood what he had said, or if Kageyama had understood what Hinata had meant by <em>like</em>. But no, no matter from what angle he examined the situation, Kageyama’s anxieties were quelled by the memory of the look in Hinata’s face as they had held hands in the courtyard. It was a look half of awe and half of the purest, unquestioning joy and it was that look that hardened Kageyama’s resolve: Hinata had enjoyed it. If Hinata didn’t have something akin to romantic feelings towards him, he wouldn’t have looked like that.</p><p>The sound of the door opening rang through the bathroom, causing Kageyama’s head to whip around in surprise.</p><p>‘Kageyama?’ came Hinata’s hushed voice. ‘Are you in here?’</p><p>Kageyama relaxed back into the water and scowled.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said, quickly shoving aside his previous train of thought. ‘What are you doing here?’</p><p>‘I could ask you the same question. I saw you leave.’</p><p>‘Tsukishima said the bath was free.’</p><p>‘Did he? Oh, I was playing with Kenma so I didn’t notice. I’m gonna come in. It’s so dark in here, can I turn the light on?’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t reply. He just leaned his head back onto the tiled wall of the bath and closed his eyes. The undersides of his eyelids glowed red as the ceiling light flared on and he could hear Hinata’s footsteps padding around the wet floor. Something about the reality of the object of his thoughts being present in the same room made Kageyama’s stomach twist awkwardly. He felt as though Hinata had intruded on something embarrassing and private even though there was no way that Hinata could know what Kageyama had been thinking about.</p><p>He heard the momentary sound of running water as Hinata washed and then a soft splashing sound as he stepped into the bath.</p><p>‘Ahhhhh, so warm!’ Hinata sighed contentedly.</p><p>Kageyama peeked at him from one eye and Hinata grinned from where he was sitting opposite. His orange hair, darker than usual from being wet, had been pushed back off his forehead and little streams of water were running down his bare neck and shoulders. Kageyama quickly closed his eyes again.</p><p>‘We did good training today, don’t you think?’ said Hinata. ‘We even won a game! We’ll be able to beat Nekoma in no time.’</p><p>‘That’s hopeful,’ said Kageyama, with an edge of disdain.</p><p>‘You don’t think we can?’ Hinata challenged.</p><p>‘We can; maybe not in no time, though.’</p><p>‘But still, we will. And can you believe Tsukishima got to practice blocks with Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san?’</p><p>‘And Kuroo.’</p><p>‘And Kuroo-san?! Oh man, Tsukishima is so lucky!’</p><p>Hinata was squirming with envy.</p><p>‘Why do you care?’ Kageyama asked, sighing. ‘Just ask them to practice tomorrow.’</p><p>‘I can’t just ask! Didn’t you know? Bokuto-san is in the top five best –’</p><p>‘– spikers in the country; yeah, I’ve heard.’</p><p>When Hinata didn’t answer, Kageyama peeked at him again and had to suppress a smirk at the grumpy look on Hinata’s face.</p><p>‘Just ask him,’ said Kageyama, flatly. ‘Or get Tsukishima to bring you along.’</p><p>‘You make it sound so easy… Wait, why were you sitting in here alone in the dark anyway?’</p><p>Kageyama opened his eyes and sat up straighter, lifting his hand out of the water to push his fringe out of his eyes. Hinata was eyeing him suspiciously.</p><p>‘Because I wanted to,’ said Kageyama, brusquely. ‘Do I need a reason?’</p><p>‘No, it’s just weird. Were you sulking?’</p><p>‘No! I don’t <em>sulk</em>.’</p><p>‘You played pretty good today so I’d say you’re not stressing about anything…’</p><p>‘I always play good, dumbass!’</p><p>‘Well, I can usually tell if you’re stressed about something,’ said Hinata, thoughtfully. ‘Were you maybe thinking about when we held hands the other day?’</p><p>Kageyama clenched his teeth and felt suddenly very hot. <em>This guy has no subtlety at all!</em> When Kageyama didn’t answer, Hinata grinned sheepishly.</p><p>‘Sorry, I don’t know if you’ve been thinking about it,’ he said, quickly. ‘But I have been, that’s why it was in my head just now.’</p><p>‘You’ve been thinking about it?’ Kageyama asked, eyeing Hinata closely. ‘…What about it, exactly?’</p><p>‘Well, just that we did it and stuff, and, um, I’ve been wondering what you thought of it, and stuff…’</p><p>Hinata blushed and sank lower into the bath until the water was up to his chin. Kageyama’s heart swelled and he was suddenly struck with the thought that perhaps Hinata had followed him to the bath specifically with the intention of talking about this with him. Now that he thought of it, they hadn’t really had the opportunity to talk about it alone since it happened other than last night which was interrupted by Nishinoya inviting Hinata to walk home with them.</p><p>‘I thought it was… okay,’ said Kageyama, and immediately regretted his choice of words.</p><p><em>Okay?</em> He thought, angrily. <em>It was more than okay, you idiot, why did you say it was only okay?</em> But Hinata didn’t seem to take offence. On the contrary, he looked relieved.</p><p>‘Yeah, it was okay,’ he affirmed, grinning through the blush. ‘Did you – would you want to do it again sometime?’</p><p>
  <em>Yes. Yes, I want to do it again. I want to do it and more.</em>
</p><p>‘Maybe,’ Kageyama replied, evasively, ignoring the pounding in his chest. ‘If you want to.’</p><p>Hinata met his gaze then and his eyes were shining. He sat up straighter in the bath until his shoulders and chest were above the water. Kageyama’s muscles tensed and he couldn’t resist the opportunity to look at the way droplets of water clung to Hinata’s pale skin, swilled in the hollows of his collarbones and ran in rivulets down his bare chest.</p><p>Hinata was smaller than him, his frame slighter. Though Kageyama was himself somewhat lanky, the bones of Hinata’s chest and shoulders showed through the lean muscle, giving his form a somewhat sculpted appearance. Hinata’s skin was beginning to visibly glow in colour from the warmth of the bath, the heat rising up his neck to bloom in his cheeks. He was watching Kageyama timidly, with a meek hesitation in the way his gaze hovered over Kageyama’s face; every thread of nervousness and thought was woven into his expression. Kageyama couldn’t help but notice, with a certain degree of enjoyment, that Hinata truly wore his heart on his sleeve. Hinata peered innocently through his lashes up to where Kageyama was watching him. With a sigh, Kageyama fully accepted in that moment that his self-restraint was falling away to the wind and there was nothing he could do to stop it.</p><p>He wordlessly moved through the water with his brain totally and completely fogged by the reality of the boy sitting across from him. He couldn’t think of anything other than the desire to touch Hinata, and the blush in Hinata’s cheeks and the wideness of his eyes. Kageyama closed the gap between them quickly until he was kneeling in the water in front of Hinata and reached his hand out. He touched Hinata’s arm, first lightly with his fingertips and then with his whole hand; and ran his touch down Hinata’s forearm until he found fingers under the water. Their hands clasped together and Kageyama breathed a sigh of relief. His doubts had been for nothing. This was real, more real than his memories and his fantasies. This was something he could trust.</p><p>Spurred on by desperation, Kageyama raised his other hand out of the water and brought it to Hinata’s face. Hinata flinched slightly as though expecting pain, just as he had done when they had first held hands, but he relaxed when Kageyama ran his fingers through the wet strands of Hinata’s hair. His hair was soft and warm and clung to Kageyama’s touch as though the strands themselves didn’t want him to stop. Kageyama noticed Hinata’s breathing become faster and shallower, and the way Hinata’s fingers tightened slightly around his own. His eyes were still burning with that familiar fire that fuelled Kageyama’s efforts both on the volleyball court and off it and they were drinking in the sight of Kageyama kneeling before him, flicking rapidly between Kageyama’s eyes.</p><p>Kageyama lowered his hand down from Hinata’s hair to whisper over the blush in Hinata’s cheek and to cup the side of his neck where he could feel Hinata’s pulse beating a rapid pattern of desire against his fingers.</p><p>‘Kageyama,’ whispered Hinata, his voice sounding shaky.</p><p>Hinata swallowed hard. His pupils were blown wide and his shoulders were visibly tense. Kageyama felt like his grip on self-control was slipping. Every touch made him want more, every breath building on his lust. He wanted to push Hinata as far as he would allow him, to let his hands wander freely over Hinata’s skin, to bring to life the fantasies and dreams that had left him ravenous and desperate and squirming in his bed at night.</p><p>He moved his hand from Hinata’s neck down to caress the contour of his collarbone, to dip into the water that had pooled there and he pressed his palm against Hinata’s chest. Hinata brought his own hand out of the water to cover Kageyama’s, pressing their hands more firmly against his skin.</p><p>‘Kageyama,’ Hinata breathed again, and his heart was racing under Kageyama’s touch.</p><p>The sound of his name whispered from between Hinata’s lips stirred something carnal in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. The creature of desire that hungered in him grew and grew with every passing second, consuming his self-control and pushing him on. His eyes dropped to rest on Hinata’s lips, which were still slightly parted after saying Kageyama’s name. He pulled slightly on Hinata’s hand, urging the decoy to lean forward. A start of surprise lit up Hinata’s face but Kageyama was set in his resolve. He knew what he wanted.</p><p>Suddenly, the sound of approaching voices shattered the bubble that had formed around the two and Kageyama lurched back from Hinata through the water. Hinata’s hand, outstretched as it chased Kageyama’s, was left empty and extended. The door burst open and the Nekoma first-years spilled in, still laughing at some joke from before.</p><p>‘Hey, Hinata!’ called Lev, waving his hand.</p><p>‘Oooh you’re here, Shouyou!’ exclaimed Inuoka, who also grinned and waved.</p><p>‘O-oh, Lev, Inuoka!’ There was a hitch in Hinata’s voice, but he smiled widely all the same and he looked over his shoulder at the newcomers.</p><p>‘Is the water still hot?’ Lev asked, pulling his shirt off over his head.</p><p>‘You bet! Is Kenma coming?’</p><p>‘I think in a bit, he wanted to finish his game.’</p><p><em>It’s time for me to leave</em>, thought Kageyama. He stood up and climbed the steps of the bath.</p><p>‘Where are you going?’ asked Hinata, lowly.</p><p>‘I’ve had enough, see you later.’</p><p>‘Okay, see you…’</p><p>Kageyama washed himself and dressed quickly. His heart was still racing and he felt oddly light-headed. The further he got from the bathroom, the more he realised just how much self-control he had lost. He had to be more careful to keep his movements in check. At the end, he had no idea where his actions would have taken him if they hadn’t been interrupted; and he remembered Hinata saying his name. Now, in the clarity of reality and away from the heady humidity of the bathroom, he was struck with a sudden, nervous thought: had Hinata said his name out of desire, or as a warning? Had Hinata been about to tell him to stop? The thought made his mouth dry. Now that he had this, whatever it was, the prospect of having to stop seemed like an impossibility. A fierce, hulking creature of lust had awoken in his chest and Kageyama knew there was nothing he could do to control it. If he wasn’t careful, he could go too far and Hinata would reject him and their pair dynamic would be ruined forever. No matter what came to pass between them, of one thing Kageyama was utterly sure: he couldn’t let that happen.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Friendly Competition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kageyama woke up, it was still dark. He sat up and noticed that Hinata, curled in blankets, was sleeping at arm’s length away from him. Kageyama allowed his sleepy eyes a moment to linger on the gentle rise and fall of the blanket pile that was his orange-haired teammate before facing the morning. All the desperation and confusion and tension of the previous evening was gone and Kageyama looked evenly at Hinata’s tousled ginger mop that was sticking out of the top of his blankets. A poignant warmth spread through Kageyama’s limbs and he yearned to touch that hair again but this time more gently and without the hurried hunger that had driven him on before. But Hinata was sleeping and Kageyama couldn’t be sure Hinata would want him to, so he pushed the thought from his mind. According to his phone, it was five o’clock in the morning. Carefully, so as to not wake his teammates, Kageyama changed his clothes, extracted his trainers from his bag and weaved his way around sleeping bodies out into the hallway.</p>
<p>The air outside was crisp and Kageyama jogged towards the rising sun. It felt good to leave the hot confines of the clubroom and fill his lungs with the cool morning breeze. Oddly enough, after the events of the bathroom from the previous night, Kageyama felt calmer than he had in days. He no longer felt that gnawing tug of doubt in the back of his mind as to whether or not Hinata actually liked him more than a friend; now, he was certain. All that was left was figuring out what that meant to both of them as individuals and as a pair. In his mind, Kageyama didn’t know what he wanted — or, he couldn’t make coherent sense of his thoughts and daydreams — but he followed his instincts and knew that they would lead him forward. Now that he had that certainty, he wanted nothing more than explore it and to see what he could do with Hinata. Curiosity bloomed in him and he wondered what opportunities the day would bring.</p>
<p>When he got back, Kageyama felt good – exceptionally good. Nishinoya, Tsukishima and a few others were already up and Nishinoya greeted him with a grin.</p>
<p>‘Morning, Kageyama!’ he sang. ‘Ready to win some sets?’</p>
<p>‘You bet,’ Kageyama nodded firmly, to Nishinoya’s delight.</p>
<p>The third years groaned in sleepy protest at their loud voices.</p>
<p>‘It’s morning!’ said Nishinoya, poking Asahi in the shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Mmmfive more minutes,’ Asahi moaned, rolling over.</p>
<p>Nishinoya threw the curtains open to louder protests from everyone. Bright morning sunlight streamed in and invited them to their day of hard training.</p>
<p>‘Don’t you have a snooze button?!’ growled Tanaka, eyeing Nishinoya blearily.</p>
<p>‘Now now Ryuu, you don’t want to be late to Kiyoko-san’s breakfast, do you?’ said Nishinoya, sweetly.</p>
<p>Tanaka jolted upright.</p>
<p>‘Thank you for waking me up in time, Noya-san!’</p>
<p>Kageyama went over to his bed to change out of his jogging gear. Hinata was sitting up in the bed next to Kageyama’s and rubbing a fist into one of his eyes. His normally messy hair was even more unruly than usual and his face was pale from sleep.</p>
<p>‘Morning, Kageyama!’ he said, with a sleepy grin.</p>
<p>‘Morning,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘You went jogging already? Aw, I feel lazy now.’</p>
<p>‘That’s because you are lazy.’</p>
<p>‘Am not! I just went to bed later than you so I had to sleep a little bit longer.’</p>
<p>‘As long as you’re not tired today,’ said Kageyama. ‘I feel good. We’re going to beat Fukurodani again.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s face immediately lit up and his eyes started to shine, all traces of sleepiness gone.</p>
<p>‘Really? We will?’ he asked.</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Kageyama, without a hint of doubt. ‘As long as you’re in top form.’</p>
<p>‘I will be, I promise!’</p>
<p>‘Good. Just… do what you always do. I’ll bring the ball to you.’</p>
<p>‘Okay!’</p>
<p>And Kageyama was right. They played well and Kageyama felt unstoppable. His mind was entirely focussed and his drive to score points was at its peak. Every time an attack succeeded and Hinata’s face lit up, Kageyama’s fortitude grew. Determination built upon itself until he couldn’t tell what he was playing for, to win or to see Hinata’s face shine one more time. He supposed the two went hand-in-hand, so it wasn’t worth deliberating.</p>
<p>Karasuno played first against Fukurodani whilst Nekoma practiced on the next court over. As the third set came to a close, the Nekoma players gathered on the sidelines to watch. Kageyama set the ball to where he knew Hinata was running and heard the lightning-fast attack that concluded the match and gave them victory.</p>
<p>‘<em>Yes!</em>’ Kageyama and Hinata bellowed in unison, and the rest of Karasuno team jumped on the pair of them, cheering and singing praises.</p>
<p>Hinata’s arm was around Kageyama’s shoulders and Kageyama subconsciously leaned into the touch, the presence of Hinata’s skin against his taking all the attention from his senses. <em>There it is</em>, he thought, vaguely. <em>That soaring feeling. He gave it to me again</em>.</p>
<p>‘Since when did that kid get so good at getting past blocks?!’ yelled Bokuto, throwing his hands into the air in irritation.</p>
<p>‘Since you taught him,’ said Akaashi, with an eyebrow raised.</p>
<p>‘Stupid kid… shouldn’t have taught… thinks he’s so good…’ Bokuto’s frustrated mutters trailed off into grunts and scowls.</p>
<p>Tsukishima sniggered but was cut off by Kuroo coming up from behind and draping an arm leisurely around his shoulders.</p>
<p>‘Those were some sharp read blocks, Tsukki, but they won’t work on me,’ he sighed, with a smirk. ‘I’ve had enough time watching to know your tells by now.’</p>
<p>‘We’ll see,’ said Tsukishima coolly, shrugging Kuroo’s arm off.</p>
<p>‘You played really well,’ Kozume was saying to Hinata.</p>
<p>‘You think so?’ Hinata replied, excitedly. ‘I’m gonna try my hardest to beat you!’</p>
<p>‘I believe you,’ said Kozume, with a small smile.</p>
<p>Throughout the day, whenever he wasn’t playing volleyball Kageyama found himself looking for an opportunity to make physical contact with Hinata. The prospect surprised and concerned him at first but then he decided it was best to throw all of his inhibitions away and let pure, reactionary instinct guide him. He wanted to hold Hinata's hand, to touch his arm, to lean against his shoulder, or to touch Hinata’s hair as he had the night before, but the opportunity never came. Hinata and Kageyama were always together, sure, but they were never alone. They were always with others, either their teammates or players from the other schools. Kageyama couldn’t help his eyes following Hinata wherever he went and he was always oddly conscious of their physical proximity. It was as if a Hinata-radar had appeared in his mind that informed him where the decoy was at any given moment. More than once, he wondered if Hinata was as aware of him as he was of Hinata. He wondered if Hinata thought about him at all or if the decoy just lived purely in the moment. The latter wouldn’t have surprised Kageyama at all.</p>
<p>In the evening, some of the players from Nekoma had come across an old ping pong table folded up in a storage room and decided to set it up in the recreational living space for some friendly non-volleyball competition. Kageyama, who had no interest in playing, lounged in an armchair and flicked through sports news on his phone, half watching. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were sitting on a sofa opposite, playing a game of cards between themselves.</p>
<p>Bokuto immediately challenged Hinata to a game of ping pong.</p>
<p>‘I have to win back my dignity!’ he proclaimed, hands on his hips.</p>
<p>‘That implies you had dignity to begin with,’ sniggered Komi, Fukurodani’s libero, who promptly fell silent as Bokuto rounded on him.</p>
<p>‘I’ll beat you too, for good measure!’</p>
<p>‘He was just joking,’ said Akaashi, patiently. ‘We’ll cheer for you, hey hey hey!’</p>
<p>‘That’s more like it! So, what do you say, Chibi-chan?’ said Bokuto, turning back to Hinata, whose face was shining at being singled out by the player he had been idolising.</p>
<p>‘Let’s do it!’ said Hinata firmly, the fire of competition alight in his eyes.</p>
<p>Kageyama scowled and tried to concentrate on what he was reading. Judging by the dramatic responses from the onlookers, the game was a close one; but Bokuto’s victorious battle cry ten minutes later and the chorus of “hey, hey, hey!” from the Fukurodani players told Kageyama that Bokuto had won.</p>
<p>Suddenly, a figure stepped in front of the overhead light and threw a shadow over Kageyama’s face. He looked up, scowl deepening, to see Sugawara standing in front of him.</p>
<p>‘We need an even number of players for a tournament. Do you want to play, Kageyama?’ asked the third-year, with a sweet smile.</p>
<p>‘Pass,’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p>
<p>‘Come on, just one game!’ Sugawara pushed. ‘There’s a prize.’</p>
<p>‘What is it?’</p>
<p>‘A honeydew melon pudding <em>and</em> bragging rights.’</p>
<p>The two piqued Kageyama’s interest equally and he looked up at his senpai.</p>
<p>‘Who would I be playing against?’ he asked.</p>
<p>‘Hmm, let’s see.’ Sugawara looked over at the group that had assembled around the table. ‘We all decided to get into pairs to play against and the winners will then verse each other; so, if it’s me and Narita, Tanaka and Yamamoto, Inuoka and Lev, Bokuto and Akaashi, I guess Kozume is going with Kuroo so you would be against Hinata.’</p>
<p>‘Whatever, I’ll beat him easily,’ said Kageyama, getting up.</p>
<p>‘Great!’ beamed Sugawara. ‘I mean, great that you’ll play, not great that you’ll beat him easily…’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, yeah.’</p>
<p>In truth, Kageyama felt the thrill of competition flare up in his chest. There was little that he loved more than bragging rights over Hinata. Sugawara smiled inwardly, privately satisfied at the success of his off-hand suggestion. He had known that Kageyama could never resist versing Hinata at something. Hinata and Kageyama competed at everything they could, especially since they could never seriously compete at volleyball due to being on the same team. Knowing this, it was clear to Sugawara that the pair would never pass up an opportunity to compete in anything against one another.</p>
<p>Hinata looked up at Kageyama, who was glowering over him menacingly, and narrowed his eyes in a silent challenge.</p>
<p>‘Okay, everyone has a pair so let’s start!’ announced Sugawara. ‘We’ll draw straws to see who plays first.’</p>
<p>Hinata and Kageyama would be the third pair to play. Lev lost to Inuoka, much to his dismay, and then Tanaka was beaten spectacularly by Yamamoto. Kageyama took up the paddle and readied himself at the end of the table. On the other side, Hinata’s arms were poised and his muscles were tensed in readiness.</p>
<p>‘All right, bring it!’ yelled Hinata.</p>
<p>Kageyama served and Hinata brought his paddle swinging wildly through the air to hit back. Kageyama lunged, the ball hit the edge of the paddle and ricocheted off into the room behind him.</p>
<p>The onlookers <em>ooooooh</em>-ed dramatically and jeered at Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘You’ve got to try harder than that!’ Bokuto laughed. ‘Chibi-chan’s got some moves.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Tch</em>,’ Kageyama tutted, eyes narrowing at Hinata.</p>
<p>Hinata smirked back, eyes burning, and Kageyama’s stomach suddenly swooped. <em>He’s looking at me like that</em>, said the voice in the back of his mind. <em>That’s the same face he makes when we play volleyball</em>. It was that same intense look, alight with the joy and drive of competition, that Kageyama had grown so used to seeing during their matches. The only difference now, however, was that it was directed at him. It sent his brain into overdrive and he suddenly felt much warmer than he had five minutes previously.</p>
<p>It was Hinata’s turn to serve and Kageyama found it was hard to look straight at the decoy. The intensity in his face was so strong. Ironically, Kageyama had no way of knowing that Hinata was thinking the same thing about him at that moment.</p>
<p>Hinata made the serve, fast and to the side of the table, but Kageyama refused to let him win that easily. He had to push Hinata, to keep that fire burning, to make sure that his attention remained wholly on Kageyama. <em>Don’t look away from me</em>, said the voice in Kageyama’s head. <em>Don’t you dare look away for a second</em>. Kageyama sliced his paddle through the air and the ball disappeared into the hallway behind Hinata, almost leaving a visible trail of smoke behind it.</p>
<p>‘Where the hell did the ball go?’ said Narita, running to retrieve it.</p>
<p>‘I think it’s somewhere in the stratosphere,’ said Akaashi.</p>
<p>Hinata hadn’t taken his eyes off of Kageyama’s face. He was positively fuming at losing the point and Kageyama felt that hungry beast from the previous evening awake in the back of his mind telling Kageyama to <em>touch him, touch him, go on, do it, touch him</em>. He pushed the thoughts firmly aside. There was no way he could close the physical gap between them, at least not when there were so many people around.</p>
<p>They rallied for minutes at a time and the score was only 3-4 to Hinata by the time Sugawara called time. Kageyama tutted darkly again and dropped the paddle on the table, feeling more pent-up and frustrated than he ought to. <em>Stupid Hinata</em>, he thought bitterly as he slumped back onto the armchair. He couldn’t even focus on his phone, couldn’t focus on anything but that intense, wild look that he usually associated with the soaring feeling and how all his thoughts were getting twisted up inside his head and making him more and more irritated.</p>
<p>Kuroo lost to Kozume and the Nekoma captain promptly abducted a reluctant Tsukishima for more evening practice. Hinata went on to play against Kozume and as soon as he lost, Kageyama seized his chance.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Hinata, come with me,’ he said, low enough so that only Hinata could hear.</p>
<p>‘Hm?’ Hinata looked up. ‘Where are we going?’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t answer, he just stomped past Hinata and trusted that the decoy would follow. He went out into the corridor, down the hall to the back door and pushed it open to the yard beyond. It was a breezy night with clouds skittering across a sky with noticeably less stars than he was used to – but these facts barely registered in Kageyama’s head. His mind was totally occupied by Hinata and the tingling in Kageyama’s palms that told him he had to touch the orange-haired boy now or something inside him would burst.</p>
<p>As soon as the door swung shut behind Hinata, Kageyama grabbed him.</p>
<p>‘Eh? Hey, what are you doing?!’ Hinata exclaimed in shock, but Kageyama didn’t answer.</p>
<p>He pushed Hinata roughly back against the wall and pulled at his hand, locking their fingers together in a much stronger, more urgent way than the night before, but it didn't matter. This was what he wanted. The feel of Hinata’s hand clasped in his own, the warmth and softness of his skin under Kageyama’s touch… Kageyama craved it, he <em>needed</em> it. The animal inside him that hungered for Hinata was ready to devour them both.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Kageyama, hold on –’</p>
<p>Hinata tugged his hand free from Kageyama’s clutching grasp. Kageyama clenched his teeth, frustration mounting.</p>
<p>‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asked, glaring at the decoy through his fringe.</p>
<p>‘I –’</p>
<p>Whatever Hinata was going to say, the words stuck in his throat. His cheeks flushed red and he was looking at the ground.</p>
<p>‘Put it this way, do you hate it if I touch you like this?’ asked Kageyama lowly, and he slid his hand down Hinata’s forearm, more slowly this time, and slipped his long fingers in between each of Hinata’s own.</p>
<p>Hinata’s blush deepened but when he looked into Kageyama’s eyes his gaze was curiously steadfast.</p>
<p>‘No,’ he said. ‘I guess I don’t <em>hate</em> it.’</p>
<p>Kageyama was emboldened by Hinata’s words and seized his chance to push forward.</p>
<p>‘And what if I –’ Kageyama raised his other hand whispered his fingers over the bare skin on the side of Hinata’s neck, sending goosebumps blooming up Hinata’s skin, ‘– do this?’</p>
<p>Kageyama felt the heat of Hinata’s skin and the furious pounding of his heart under his touch. A hungry fire was smouldering in Kageyama’s eyes as he peered down at the boy before him. Hinata was looking back timidly.</p>
<p>‘I-I guess it’s okay,’ said Hinata, his voice shaking slightly.</p>
<p>‘What if I…’</p>
<p>He moved his hand up slowly from Hinata’s neck to the side of his face and tilted the boy’s face up towards him. Hinata’s eyes were shining at he looked up at Kageyama. The decoy's expression was one of confusion and there was the shadow of conflict behind his eyes.  </p>
<p>‘What are you doing?’ he asked, without moving.</p>
<p>‘I –’</p>
<p>Wait, what <em>was</em> Kageyama doing? A moment ago, the pressure of the ping pong game and the searing way that Hinata had challenged him with his eyes had made Kageyama’s thoughts spiral out of control. The beast in his chest that reared its head at the sight of Hinata refused to listen to reason. It had driven him to drag Hinata outside with ideas of doing anything and everything to get Hinata to look at him like that again, with that same burning passion that sent his heart racing. Kageyama didn’t know how to answer.</p>
<p>‘I don’t – I don’t know how I feel about this,’ said Hinata, somewhat breathlessly.</p>
<p>He was obviously uncomfortable. He was looking at Kageyama and his eyes were flicking rapidly back and forth between Kageyama’s own. Kageyama’s heart was thudding in his ears, his eyes were bright, and he felt some wild feeling of reckless abandon grip him. He moved his hand from Hinata’s face to press against the brick wall just behind his head.</p>
<p>‘I never thought I’d say this, but you’re thinking too much,’ said Kageyama, oddly calmly.</p>
<p>‘Shut up!’ Hinata snapped, and the tension that had built up around them eased slightly.</p>
<p>‘Just shut your brain off and don’t worry,’ Kageyama continued. ‘It’s what I’m doing.’</p>
<p>‘What do you mean? You’re not thinking about what you’re doing? About <em>this</em>?’</p>
<p>Hinata held up their still-clasped hands. Kageyama considered them for a moment.  </p>
<p>‘I’m not thinking about the consequences anymore,’ he clarified. ‘I’m just… reacting physically to what my instincts are telling me to do.’</p>
<p>‘So, it was your instincts that told you to drag me outside and – and touch me?’ asked Hinata, doubtfully.</p>
<p>‘I guess so. I don’t know. Like I told you, I’m not thinking too much about it, just acting. You should do the same.’</p>
<p>‘I can’t help but think about it! It gets stuck in my head! Like what happened in the bath yesterday…’</p>
<p>Hinata’s cheeks flushed again and his eyes dropped from Kageyama’s face.</p>
<p>‘You were thinking about that today?’ asked Kageyama, frowning. ‘I didn’t realise.’</p>
<p>‘Well, I kind of was. I was paying attention to volleyball when we were playing but at lunch and dinner and stuff, yeah I was thinking about it.’</p>
<p>‘What about it?’</p>
<p>‘Nothing about it, just <em>it</em>! That it happened, you know…’</p>
<p>‘You’re such an airhead,’ Kageyama sighed.</p>
<p>‘You just told me to think <em>less</em>.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, that means <em>less</em>, as in don’t think about it at all, which should be easy for you. Just shut off your brain, let it happen, and if you don’t like it then tell me.’</p>
<p>‘So, you’re saying that this will keep happening?’ asked Hinata, in a quiet voice that caught Kageyama off guard. ‘You t-touching me and stuff?’</p>
<p>Kageyama considered Hinata for a moment, unprepared to answer the question that had been posed to him. He tightened his grip slightly around Hinata’s fingers and thought about what would happen if he suddenly wasn’t able to touch Hinata anymore. Now that he had acted on his strange desires and Hinata hadn’t outright rejected him, Kageyama was filled with nothing but the desire for more. It was as if his hunger for Hinata couldn’t be sated and only grew the more they did together.</p>
<p>‘Probably,’ he said, finally. ’If you don’t hate it, like you said.’</p>
<p>‘I-I don’t hate it,’ said Hinata, blushing deeply again. ‘I mean, I didn’t hate it. As long as we keep playing the same, that’s all that matters.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, it is all that matters,’ Kageyama agreed. ‘Anyway, you’re the one who said you liked me the other day. I thought you’d want to do stuff like this.’</p>
<p>‘Well, yeah, I like you but this touching stuff is creepy! I like you because we’re a pair and we will always be together on the court, and that makes me happy. I never really thought about anything else.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t start thinking about it, then. Like I said, just tell me if you don’t like it and I’ll stop, but otherwise I won’t hold back.’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s expression was suddenly filled with a dark hunger and Hinata quelled slightly. Kageyama clenched his teeth, steeled his resolve, and grabbed Hinata by the shoulder to draw the boy into an embrace. A sound of surprise from Hinata was muffled by Kageyama’s shirt front. Hinata ripped his hand out of Kageyama’s and pressed both hands against Kageyama’s chest in a reactionary attempt to push him away, but, after a moment, he relaxed and slackened the force so that his hands were merely resting on each side of Kageyama’s sternum. Kageyama closed his eyes.</p>
<p>Having Hinata’s body in his arms, Kageyama felt as though all his worry, stress and tension fell away into the night to disappear. All the thinking he had done, all the hours lying awake at night had been worth it for this – the warmth of the boy pressed against his chest, the sweet scent of his flaming hair that Kageyama had seen a thousand times over and yet never dreamed to know in such a private, intimate way. It smelled faintly of fresh linen and tatami. He felt Hinata’s chest rise and fall against his, the shift and adjustment of the decoy’s body in his arms.</p>
<p>Kageyama felt that he had committed himself to this – whatever this was that was between them – and that now, for him, there was no going back. Even as he told Hinata that he would stop if Hinata didn’t like something, Kageyama privately wondered how much truth was to those words. If Hinata told him tomorrow to stop all physical contact, Kageyama wasn’t sure if he had the power to resist anymore. The reality of the boy in his arms was utterly intoxicating and was the only thing that seemed able to quiet the spiralling thoughts whirling around in Kageyama’s head. His confused perception of the decoy had warped further and further the more time passed until he felt like he didn’t know what kind of relationship they had anymore. Were they teammates? Friends? Or something more than that? Kageyama argued to himself that it wasn’t unusual for friends to embrace. The girls in his class hugged each other all the time. Him embracing Hinata didn’t necessarily change anything about the nature of their relationship. They were still normal teammates despite having held hands and embraced. It wasn’t that significant.</p>
<p>‘Oi, we should go back inside,’ said Hinata, his voice low. ‘The others are gonna wonder where we went.’</p>
<p>The sound of Hinata’s voice brought Kageyama back to reality and he let the decoy go, stepping back and avoiding his gaze. He didn’t know what had come over him.</p>
<p>‘Sorry,’ he mumbled.</p>
<p>‘I wouldn’t have picked you for a person that likes hugging,’ said Hinata, looking at the setter with surprise.</p>
<p>‘I’m not that kind of person,’ Kageyama replied, firmly.</p>
<p>‘But, you wanted to hug me right? Wait.’ Kageyama could almost see Hinata's brain working as he pieced his thoughts together. ‘Does that mean I’m special?!’</p>
<p>‘No,' said Kageyama, flatly. </p>
<p>‘But, I must be, right?’ insisted Hinata. ‘If you don’t like hugging but you want to hug me, that must mean that there’s something special about me!’</p>
<p>‘Keep your voice down, dumbass!’ hissed Kageyama, and he reached out to grip a fistful of Hinata's hair.</p>
<p>‘<em>Ouch!</em>’ Hinata yelped. ‘Okay, okay, I’m sorry!’</p>
<p>Kageyama let him go and tutted under his breath. Hinata was such an idiot. Why did he want to be close to someone like him? It didn’t make any sense. But he remembered the shape of the decoy’s body in his arms, the feeling of his hands pressed against Kageyama’s chest, and he couldn’t deny the fact that he had enjoyed it.</p>
<p>‘Come on,’ he said, turning away. ‘Let’s go back inside. And if you even <em>think</em> about telling <em>anyone</em> about what just happened, I’ll kill you.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes were as wide as dinnerplates and he held up his hands in a show of surrender.</p>
<p>‘I - I won’t tell, I swear! I promise! Cross my heart, hope to die!’</p>
<p>Kageyama glared at him before conceding.</p>
<p>‘Good,’ he said. ‘Let's go.’ </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, me again. Thank you for reading! I just wanted to write a note here that I don't necessarily condone Kageyama's domineering actions in this chapter and it is a point of character development for him in this work, so please don't assume that he will act this way for the whole work and that I'm trying to write it as romantic, because I'm not. I wrote him early on in this way because that's how I imagine canon Kageyama would act when confronted by romantic feelings for someone that he doesn't understand. Hinata, too, is conflicted in this chapter and this conflict causes him to go along with Kageyama's actions (he's not just going along with it because I'm writing him as a pushover, because I'm definitely not). Just thought I'd clarify for anyone that had their eyebrows raised reading this chapter! I hope you stick around to see how they both develop. I'm trying my best! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Walk in the Park</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their encounter outside by the backdoor the previous night, Hinata and Kageyama had gone back inside and rejoined the others in the recreation room where Sugawara had pronounced Akaashi the reigning ping pong champion and presented him a honeydew melon pudding on bended knee. Hinata and Kageyama hadn’t shared a moment alone after that. As he had lain awake at night listening to the sounds of the other players’ steady breathing around him, Kageyama had wondered if he had made a grave mistake. The colour of passion that had clouded his eyes had dissipated and he saw the memory of his actions in his mind’s eye as if from the third person. He saw himself grabbing Hinata and pushing him by the shoulders against the wall. He saw himself looming over the decoy, grabbing him and touching him, and telling Hinata to just let him have his way and not ask questions. He saw himself threatening the decoy with violence if he told anyone about what had transpired between them. Feelings of regret and shame crept into Kageyama’s head and he wished he could have had more self-control. <em>If he can’t look at me when we play volleyball anymore, I won’t even be surprised…</em> Kageyama had covered his head with the blanket and drifted off into a fitful sleep.</p><p>The next day was the last day of the training camp. It had been short but each member of Karasuno felt more capable in his skills than when they arrived. They played a few more practice matches in the morning after breakfast and Karasuno even managed to win against Fukurodani again much to Kageyama’s relief, although Nekoma remained an unbeatable adversary. A twang of anxiety had struck Kageyama in the morning when he had awoken to an empty bed beside his. At breakfast, he had wondered if Hinata was intentionally avoiding his eye. Hinata had sat with Tanaka, Nishinoya and the Nekoma players and had seemingly been too involved in their conversation to be even remotely aware of his surroundings. By winning against Fukurodani and playing relatively normally with Hinata, Kageyama was able to relax again knowing that the events of the previous evening hadn’t done any lasting damage to their relationship. Though they hadn’t had the opportunity to speak or share any moment alone, the fact that they could play together as usual was enough to soothe Kageyama’s worries for the time being.</p><p>Karasuno, Nekoma and Fukurodani eventually exchanged goodbyes, thanked each other for the opportunity to play and promised to have a longer camp before they would inevitably meet again at Nationals next year. Tanaka and Yamamoto shook hands and Tanaka promised to keep Shimizu safe until their next meeting; Tsukishima gave a cool nod of acknowledgement to Kuroo and Bokuto, the latter of which was slapping an overjoyed Hinata on the back in congratulations for his progress; and they all piled onto their respective buses.</p><p>Kageyama sat across the aisle from Hinata and he shot a look at the decoy who was too busy waving at Kozume out the window to notice. Kageyama leaned against the headrest and gazed sullenly out of the window, unseeing. Their lack of contact made him uneasy. Sure, they had played normally in the morning but he was yet to share words with Hinata or even eye contact. It was unusual and made Kageyama’s insides twist with nerves. He resolved to rectify any misunderstanding between them as soon as they got back to Karasuno.</p><p>When the bus pulled up a few hours later into Karasuno’s car park and all the players prepared to depart, Kageyama seized his chance.</p><p>‘Oi, Hinata.’</p><p>Hinata looked around from where he had been rummaging in his bag and immediately became awkward. Kageyama felt another pang of guilt but pushed it aside and squared his shoulders.</p><p>‘Do you want to stay and practice?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Um, actually, I think I might just go home,’ said Hinata, rubbing his forearm and avoiding Kageyama’s eye. ‘I’m kind of tired after the weekend.’</p><p><em>Of course you are</em>, Kageyama thought, and he felt a dark cloud of self-hatred descend from the heavens to punish him.</p><p>‘Fine,’ he said, tonelessly. ‘See you tomorrow.’</p><p>Hinata said goodbye but Kageyama had already turned away, feeling depression mount with every step. He buried his fists into his trouser pockets and desired nothing more than to get away from everyone and hide in his bedroom. His mind strove to control the building fury in his chest and he wrestled with the urge to kick something all the way home. It had happened. The thing that he had been afraid of most, what he had been trying to avoid with all of his being, and it was entirely his fault. Gone were the days of staying out late practicing with Hinata in the gym. Gone was their unspoken camaraderie and shared passion for training that Kageyama had, until now, obviously taken for granted. Kageyama had pushed and pushed and pushed Hinata’s limits and he had unknowingly crossed a line and there was no going back.</p><p>‘Goddammit,’ he hissed through his teeth.</p><p>The fists in his pockets were shaking. How could he let this happen?! How couldn’t he see that it was inevitable and stopped before it was too late? He walked past the vending machines by the bus stop and saw the memory of Hinata standing by his bike waiting for Kageyama to pick him up. Kageyama walked the familiar path to his house that he had shared with Hinata so many times. He heard the recollection of Hinata’s voice, vibrant and full of life as he shared some point of interest or other from his day, and the gaping hole in Kageyama’s chest stretched wider.</p><p>He crossed the threshold of the front door of his house and closed it behind him.</p><p>‘I’m home,’ he called out, his voice sounding flat and low in his ears.</p><p>‘Welcome home,’ his father’s voice replied from the living room. ‘How was the camp?’</p><p>‘Fine,’ Kageyama replied. ‘Nothing special.’</p><p>Nothing could be further from the truth. Though it had been two and a half days, the training camp felt like it had lasted a week. So much had happened, both in their matches and to Kageyama personally. The events of the previous week felt so far away and it was hard for Kageyama to believe that he and Hinata had first held hands in the courtyard after training only a week ago. Less than two weeks ago, they had stared in disbelief at Sugawara and Daichi holding hands and wondered openly as to how such a dynamic could be possible between teammates. Kageyama recalled his conversation with Sugawara about his relationship with Daichi and realised darkly that the answers to the questions he had asked his senpai had now been revealed to him: for him and Hinata, anything resembling a functioning more-than-friends relationship wasn’t possible and was bound to be a detriment to their ability to play volleyball together. <em>At least I won’t have to wonder anymore</em>, he thought wearily.</p><p>Kageyama dropped his training bag on the floor in his bedroom and couldn’t help his gaze lingering on the spot on the floor where Hinata always sat. He clenched his teeth. There were reminders of their unspoilt past everywhere here.</p><p>He went to bathe and spent half the time staring at his hand under the water and recalling his time with Hinata in the bath at the training camp. To be fair, he reasoned to himself, they had won against Fukurodani only that morning and he and Hinata were able to execute their quick a few times successfully. He had tossed to Hinata as if on instinct, without thinking twice, and Hinata had responded in kind to deliver them to victory. They could still play somewhat normally together, Hinata obviously just didn’t want to be alone with him – which meant that Hinata didn’t want Kageyama to touch and hug him which was, admittedly, understandable. He needed time and they needed to talk. Not for the last time, Kageyama kicked himself for his rash behaviour the night before. </p><p>* * *</p><p>Kageyama awoke early after a poor night’s sleep and immediately turned around to see if Hinata was sleeping behind him before remembering that the training camp was over and he was in his own bed. He clenched his teeth and sighed. He was going to see Hinata that day at practice and he knew already with certainty that they had to talk, he <em>had</em> to clear things up between them and at least assure Hinata that he wouldn’t attack him with physical contact as soon as they were alone. He even toyed with the idea of apologising but pushed it to the back of his mind. He had committed to his actions at the time and had to stand by them now. If he showed any hint of regret, it would be a lie. No matter how confused their relationship might be now, he couldn’t regret what he had done – at least, not yet. The feel of Hinata’s hands, gentle and relaxed against his chest, made everything worth it to Kageyama. Something horrible and life-changing would have to happen in order for him to begin regretting that.</p><p>He went for a jog in a vain attempt to clear his mind and soon realised that he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything for the whole day. His classes went by in a blur and he could think of nothing more but Hinata and the desire to use volleyball training to clear his mind; however, it was not to be. Ten minutes into their afternoon practice, it was clear that Kageyama was distracted. His tosses were off, he was slow to react, and he was fumbling far more than usual. The third years kept throwing him questioning looks and Hinata’s cheeks were burning as if he was aware of the reason behind Kageyama’s poor form.</p><p>Kageyama tossed to Hinata and knew, as soon as the ball left his fingertips, that it was off. Hinata ran, jumped and reached for the ball but realised a moment too late that it was slightly short. Instinctively, he twisted his body mid-air and lunged to whack it clumsily over the net. When he landed, his footing was awkward and he tripped over his feet to slam into the floor.</p><p>‘Hinata!’ cried Daichi and Asahi at the same time.</p><p>‘Shouyou!’ exclaimed Nishinoya.</p><p>‘Are you okay?’ said Sugawara, frantically.</p><p>Kageyama, lowering his arms from the toss, watched as the team members converged worriedly around Hinata who was lying on the floor. <em>Shit</em>, Kageyama thought. <em>That was my fault</em>.</p><p>‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ Hinata was saying, smiling embarrassedly and waving his hands.</p><p>But it was soon apparent that he wasn’t fine. As he tried to get up, he stumbled with a wince into Nishinoya, who grabbed onto him for support.</p><p>‘Shimizu!’ called Sugawara sharply, and she came running over. ‘Hinata needs to visit the nurse, I think it’s his ankle.’</p><p>‘Right,’ she said, nodding once. ‘Can you walk, Hinata?’</p><p>With his arm around Nishinoya’s shoulders for support, Hinata pressed his right foot gingerly on the floor and winced.</p><p>‘I can still play,’ he said quickly, through teeth gritted in pain. ‘It’s fine, just a small bruise…’</p><p>‘Yeah, I think your ankle is twisted,’ said Sugawara, in a soothing voice. ‘Shimizu and Nishinoya will take you to the nurse to get it looked at.’</p><p>He looked pointedly at Nishinoya, who nodded and tightened his grip around Hinata’s waist.</p><p>‘You can lean on me and we can go together, right?’ he said, with a grin.</p><p>‘Okay,’ Hinata accepted, though he sounded reluctant to go at all.  </p><p>With his arm still around Nishinoya’s shoulder, he limped out of the gym with Shimizu at their side.</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ said Kageyama, but his voice was too quiet for them to hear.</p><p>‘It’s not like the King to admit his mistakes,’ drawled Tsukishima, who was standing by the net near to him. ‘You should probably say it to his face next time or it won’t count for anything.’</p><p>‘Probably.’</p><p>Tsukishima’s expression turned from taunting to one of mild surprise but Kageyama didn’t look at him.</p><p>‘Sorry,’ he said, bowing to Daichi. ‘That was my mistake.’</p><p>‘You’re distracted, Kageyama,’ said Daichi. ‘Why don’t you take a moment to clear your head? We’ll run through some drills for the time being.’</p><p>‘Right,’ conceded Kageyama.</p><p>He strode out to the courtyard to run water over his head, hating himself more and more with each passing moment. The more time that passed unspoken between he and Hinata, the more distracted he became. The whole day he had been planning what he would say to Hinata after practice and how he would set things straight between them, and now he had gone and ruined everything again.</p><p>After fifteen minutes, Nishinoya and Shimizu came back, and Kageyama’s stomach dropped when he realised Hinata wasn’t with them. He hovered by the gym doorway as the rest of the team gathered around Nishinoya and Shimizu to hear the news.</p><p>‘Is Hinata okay?’ asked Daichi, quickly.</p><p>‘Sprained ankle,’ Shimizu explained. ‘The nurse wrapped it up and she said it wasn’t bad but he’ll probably be out for a couple of days.’</p><p>A groan of dismay rippled through the players and a shard of guilt sliced through Kageyama’s chest.</p><p>‘His mum is coming to pick him up from the nurse’s office because he can’t ride his bike home,’ continued Shimizu.</p><p>‘Okay,’ said Daichi, and he rubbed the back of his neck in concern. ‘We can keep up with the drills for today and I’ll stop by Sakanoshita to tell Ukai on my way home.’</p><p>‘We can all go,’ said Asahi, and Sugawara, Tanaka and Yamaguchi nodded in agreement.</p><p>‘Alright,’ said Daichi. ‘Let’s continue with receives then for the time being. Let’s get back to it, everyone!’</p><p>‘Right!’ the team chimed.</p><p>Kageyama elected to sit on the sidelines and take a long drink from his water bottle. He felt a dark cloud settle around him and did nothing to try and dispel it; if volleyball couldn’t take his mind of his worries, nothing would so there was no point in trying to fight it. After ten minutes, Daichi came running over.</p><p>‘Oi Kageyama, are you going to join in?’ he asked.</p><p>‘I guess,’ replied Kageyama, monotonously.</p><p>‘Hey, no one is blaming you for what happened,’ said Daichi, in a lower voice. ‘Accidents happen in sport, it’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up over it.’</p><p>Kageyama looked at him and Daichi grinned good-naturedly. With a small sigh, Kageyama put his drink bottle down and got to his feet.</p><p>‘Besides,’ said Daichi, as they jogged back onto the court, ‘when has anything been able to keep Hinata down? That guy is always going to bounce back. It’s in his nature. If anything, I guess he’d be most frustrated that he can’t play with you for a little while.’</p><p>They finished up earlier than usual and Kageyama walked home alone. That evening, he lay on his front on his bed and stared at Hinata’s contact in his phone, wrestling with the thought of texting him. After some time, he resolved that an in-person apology was more suitable than a message and dropped the phone down onto bed beside him. With a heaving sigh, Kageyama slumped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. How had he managed to mess everything up so royally? Not only had he meddled with the dynamic of himself and his close teammate, he had ended up sending said teammate to the nurse’s office and home with a sprained ankle that put him out of play for what would probably end up being days if not a full week. Kageyama himself had never had a real injury from volleyball but he recalled his old teammate, Oikawa, injuring his knee in junior high. He remembered the devastation in Oikawa’s face, how crushed his senpai had been at the prospect of not being able to play, and wondered darkly if Hinata was feeling the same at that very moment. At least in junior high, Oikawa’s injury hadn’t been Kageyama’s fault – unlike Hinata’s. How could Kageyama ever make it up to him? What could he possibly do to make amends? A physical injury was the one thing committed sports players feared above all else. Kageyama imagined Hinata sitting at home with his swollen ankle wrapped in ice and bandages and a twang of guilt pulled at his insides. He realised that he would have to practice without Hinata for the next few days. Where things had been good and getting better for the past few weeks, now everything had all fallen apart and Kageyama had no one to blame but himself. </p><p>* * *</p><p>Hinata didn’t come to school for two days. Throughout those days, Kageyama wrestled time and time again with the urge to call him to apologise but he resisted every time the idea came into his mind. Apologising was something he knew he would have to wait to do in person, so, for the time being, he committed himself to silence. Coach Ukai was present for their training sessions and waved down Kageyama’s apology, citing the same reasons as Daichi that it wasn’t Kageyama’s fault.</p><p>‘But pay more attention next time!’ the coach had said. ‘We need all of our players in top form if we want to have a chance at Nationals. I don’t want to see any more injuries. Your freak quick with Hinata is a weapon we can’t afford to lose.’</p><p>On the second day of Hinata’s absence, Takeda-sensei burst into the gym halfway through practice and announced that he had organised a practice match between Karasuno and Aoba Johsai for the coming Saturday morning, to murmurs of excitement and interest from the team.</p><p>‘We lost against them once in the Interhigh Preliminaries,’ said Takeda-sensei, ‘but their setter, and captain, was off the court due to an injury for the first half of the game so I believe that this time around, Aoba Johsai will be quite a different team. He is arguably their strongest player and I think we will all soon see how Aoba Johsai plays with the captain at their head right from the beginning of the match.’</p><p>Kageyama clenched his teeth and resented the fact that he couldn’t help but agree. Even without Oikawa there for part of the game, the match at the last tournament had been very close.</p><p>‘I don’t think I’ll forget that guy’s serves for as long as I live,’ sighed Nishinoya. ‘They were so awesome.’</p><p>‘His serves might have been cool but I didn’t like him,’ said Tanaka, looking displeased at the prospect of seeing Oikawa again.</p><p>‘That’s because all the girls were cheering for him,’ pointed out Tsukishima drily. ‘But don’t worry, even if he wasn’t there they wouldn’t be cheering for you anyway.’</p><p>Kageyama took a break on the sidelines of the volleyball court with his mind filled with the image of Oikawa’s smug face (much to his annoyance). He absently checked his phone and felt a jolt of surprise at seeing the name Hinata Shouyou light up on the screen. He opened the message quickly.</p><p>
  <em>Hey, how was training today?（＾ω＾） – 17.34</em>
</p><p>Kageyama immediately tapped out a response without thinking twice.</p><p>
  <em>Receive drills and then tempos with Nishinoya. We have a practice match with Seijoh on Saturday. Can you play? – 17.40</em>
</p><p>He took a long drink from his water bottle and tried to ignore the increase in his heart rate. Hinata had messaged him. Sure, it was about training and entirely innocent but the fact that Hinata had decided to contact him after days of not speaking made Kageyama suddenly jittery.</p><p>
  <em>Really??? (⊙＿⊙)  I’m almost healed, will come tomorrow. Do you wanna make up for the crappy toss? (・ω&lt;)  – 17.42</em>
</p><p>Kageyama read through the message twice and frowned. “Make up for the crappy toss”? What did he mean by that? Was he proposing that Kageyama would have to perform some kind of favour for him?</p><p>
  <em>How? – 17.42</em>
</p><p>He stared at their messages until Hinata’s reply came through.</p><p>
  <em>Can you ride my bike to my house? It’s not locked and I need it tomorrow. My mum can drive you home (^^)v  – 17.43</em>
</p><p>Kageyama blew air out of his nose in irritation at Hinata’s excessive use of emoticons but quickly suppressed his annoyance. The prospect of going to Hinata’s house made Kageyama’s shoulders tense up but the thought of seeing the decoy pushed any trepidation out of his mind. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to see Hinata in the flesh and apologise to him face-to-face.</p><p>
  <em>Yes. What’s your address? – 17.42</em>
</p><p>Hinata sent directions to his house and Kageyama quickly changed his shoes.</p><p>‘I’m leaving,’ he said, pulling on his cream-coloured jumper.</p><p>‘Already?’ said Daichi, in surprise.</p><p>‘I’m going to ride Hinata’s bike to his house. He said he’s coming tomorrow.’</p><p>‘Oh, great!’ grinned Sugawara. ‘Tell him we’re looking forward to seeing him again.’</p><p>‘Right.’</p><p>‘Hey, tell him about Saturday! Call Daichi straight away if he says he’s still too injured to play!’</p><p>‘Yeah, will do.’</p><p>Kageyama picked out Hinata’s bike from the racks and mounted it before immediately dismounting and adjusting the seat higher. His heart was thudding in his ears but he was simultaneously clear-headed. He was going to apologise to Hinata and try to set things straight between them. This was his chance to put things right and he wasn’t going to mess it up. Kageyama looked once more over the map on his phone before jamming it into his pocket and setting off.</p><p>The ride was longer than he expected and he couldn’t help feeling mildly impressed that Hinata rode the route to and from school every day. At one point, he stopped to strip down to his t-shirt and stuffed his jumper into his bag. The trail wound up the side of the mountain and down again on the other side to where a smaller cluster of houses and shops was nestled in the valley. Kageyama could see their lights twinkling from afar as the last vestiges of the sunset melted away into evening gloom. He stopped to check from his phone again where to turn and found the right house with “Hinata” inscribed in a plaque next to the letterbox. The house was older and built in a more traditional style than Kageyama’s own and Kageyama thought it reflected the aesthetic of the mountain village perfectly.</p><p>Trepidation mounted as he closed the distance between himself and the front door and Kageyama clenched his teeth as he rang the doorbell. It almost instantly sprang open and Hinata was standing there, dressed in loose grey track pants and an orange hoodie that clashed horribly with his hair, and his eyes were shining. As soon as Kageyama saw him, he felt all his nervousness fall away like a shroud. Hinata was here, standing at arm’s length away, and suddenly everything felt right with the world again.</p><p>‘You made it!’ said Hinata, not even trying to hide his excitement.</p><p>‘Yeah, now I can see where you get your stamina from.’</p><p>Hinata grinned broadly at the compliment. Kageyama felt oddly dazzled, as if the time spent away from Hinata had left his senses dulled and unprepared for the decoy’s sunny demeanour. Then Kageyama suddenly remembered himself, leaned the bike against the porch rail and bowed low.</p><p>‘Hinata, I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It was my fault that you fell, because of my crappy toss.’</p><p>Hinata’s face lit up with surprise and he rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>‘Don’t worry about it, Kageyama,’ he said, slapping Kageyama jovially on the shoulder. ‘It was an accident! And I’m pretty much healed by now so no harm done. Thanks for bringing my bike here.’</p><p>Kageyama straightened up and nodded once, his face impassive. Then, a small girl’s voice came crooning out of the hallway.</p><p>‘Onii-chan? Who’s there?’</p><p>‘Just a classmate, Natsu, go back inside!’ Hinata called over his shoulder, before grinning sheepishly at Kageyama again. ‘Um, do you want to go for a walk?’</p><p>The muscles in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach clenched. Yes, yes he very much wanted that, but he was more surprised that Hinata had asked him. <em>I thought you didn’t want to be alone with me</em>, he thought.<em> I thought you didn’t want to talk</em>. But he held his tongue and only nodded again.</p><p>‘Okay, great! My sister probably won’t leave you alone if we go inside. Mum’s making dinner for us so we can eat before she drives you home.’</p><p>‘Oh, no, it’s okay,’ said Kageyama quickly. ‘I don’t want to impose…’</p><p>‘She insisted,’ Hinata shrugged. ‘Come on, there’s a park nearby, let’s walk around a bit and come back.’</p><p>Hinata wheeled his bike to the side of the house and then led the way out to the street beyond. He and Kageyama quickly fell in step and walked at a leisurely pace down the road. Dusk had truly settled and moths and other insects flickered about the street lights overhead. It was quieter here than in Kageyama’s neighbourhood and only a single car drove past as they made their way to the park. Kageyama noted with relief that Hinata seemed to be walking normally without any hint of an injury in his gait.</p><p>‘So, tell me everything I’ve missed,’ said Hinata, immediately. ‘I’ve been going crazy not being able to play. How are Nishinoya’s tosses? Did Coach Ukai come today? Are we starting anything new?’</p><p>Kageyama filled Hinata in on their training sessions of the past two days and Hinata continued to probe him with more specific questions until they got to the park. The park was more like a patch of manicured forest with a metal slide and swing set at its centre, and Hinata led the way to a small stone bench that was situated between a lamp and a tall maple tree a couple of metres back from the path.</p><p>‘I’m glad you came,’ said Hinata, and an endearing pink flushed in his cheeks. ‘I missed practicing with the team but I mostly missed practicing with you. I’ve gotten used to doing it every day that it felt so weird not to. I kind of didn’t know how to spend the time at home. Sorry I didn’t stay back on Monday to practice after we got back from Tokyo.’</p><p>Hinata’s openness always came as a shock to Kageyama and he found his heart rate rising again at the decoy’s words. For days, Kageyama had wondered how to broach the subject with Hinata and yet here Hinata was doing it for him without batting an eyelid. Kageyama didn’t really know how to respond. He looked out through the darkness to where a feeble moon was hanging low in the sky ahead of them in the valley, its lustre dimmed by the residual rays of sunlight still creeping up over the horizon.</p><p>‘It’s fine,’ he said, after a pause. He thought he ought to say something nice in return and finished in a mutter, ‘I guess I would have got more out of practice if you were there.’</p><p>‘Really?’</p><p>By the look on Hinata’s face, Kageyama could have just made a love confession.</p><p>‘Well, there’s no one else I can practice our quicks with, is there?’ snapped Kageyama, but Hinata’s smile was unfazed. ‘I thought… I thought you didn’t want to be alone with me.’</p><p>Kageyama’s sentence ended in a mumble and he stared straight ahead, avoiding Hinata’s eye. He could see Hinata looking at him in his periphery but the orange-haired boy then looked across the park as well.</p><p>‘I didn’t want to, at first,’ said Hinata, slowly. ‘After the last night in Tokyo… I don’t know, it kinda creeped me out.’</p><p>‘Yeah, I guessed as much.’</p><p>‘But I don’t want to <em>not</em> hang out with you either,’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘I don’t know, I tried to not think about it like you said but I couldn’t. My brain just doesn’t work that way. Do you – do you like me, Kageyama?’</p><p>The words hung in the air between them and Kageyama stared at Hinata, who was very red in the face, but his eyes conveyed a refusal to back down from the question. It caught Kageyama completely off-guard.</p><p>Did he like Hinata, romantically? He had never even considered it. He had never been romantically interested in anyone before so he didn’t even have a point of reference for his feelings. Kageyama knew he wanted to be close to Hinata physically, to touch him and maybe even do more with him, but he couldn’t identify exactly what feelings drove that desire; was it because he liked Hinata, or for some other reason? Did he just want to dominate his rival where he couldn’t in volleyball? Was their relationship just another competition to him? Or was it something more? Kageyama didn’t have the answers to those questions. He didn’t even know how to begin thinking about them.</p><p>The silence between them prolonged and Hinata fidgeted.</p><p>‘Well?’ he pressed. ‘Do you?’</p><p>‘I don’t know,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘That’s a really lame answer.’</p><p>‘I don’t know what else to say! I don’t know, okay? I have to think about it.’</p><p>‘Well, you must kind of like me if you want to touch me and stuff,’ said Hinata, slyly. ‘You – you don’t want to touch other people like that, do you?’</p><p>‘Of course not,’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, if you want to touch me, you have to be nice to me. You can’t be mean or grouchy when you do it, okay?’</p><p>‘You want me to be nice to you?’ repeated Kageyama, darkly. ‘How?’</p><p>‘By just being nice! It’s not that hard, is it?!’ growled Hinata.</p><p>They turned away from one another, looking equally unhappy.</p><p>‘Sugawara-san said communication is of utmost importance in any relationship,’ said Hinata, clearly reciting Sugawara’s advice word-for-word. ‘So you need to –’</p><p>‘You <em>told Sugawara-san</em>?!’ Kageyama jumped to his feet and rounded on Hinata. ‘What were you thinking, you dumbass?! You told him about what happened between us?’</p><p>‘I needed advice!’ Hinata yelled back defensively, also standing up. ‘Who else was I supposed to tell? We saw Sugawara-san and Daichi-san together so they are obviously dating and obviously know about stuff like hugging and touching teammates, so yeah, I told him! It’s not like he’s going to go and tell everyone else, he’ll keep it to himself!’</p><p>Kageyama sat back down, fuming. Hinata remained standing and put his hands on his hips.</p><p>‘That’s all I have to say,’ he continued. ‘If you want to touch and hug me like you said, you have to be nice to me, and treat me nicely. Otherwise, you can’t do it anymore.’</p><p>‘Fine!’</p><p>‘Fine. Good.’</p><p>Hinata sighed and sat back down next to Kageyama. Kageyama was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him, glowering darkly at the ground. Hinata lifted his feet onto the bench in front of himself, brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs. Kageyama felt guilt gnawing at his insides as he always did when he got unnecessarily short with Hinata for no good reason. He was angry that Hinata had told Sugawara about what had happened between them at the training camp but Hinata couldn’t know that Kageyama himself had turned to Sugawara for advice concerning their relationship, though he had kept the real nature behind his questions a secret. Kageyama couldn’t deny that Hinata’s request was reasonable but when it came down to it, the request itself didn’t matter – he would do anything to be able to keep touching and hugging Hinata. Hinata could have requested the moon and Kageyama would do anything to get it.</p><p>The heat of embarrassment crept up the back of Kageyama’s neck as the silence between them lengthened and he felt obligated to say something nice to Hinata, as per the decoy’s request. Hinata’s mouth and chin were hidden behind his arm and he watched a pair of joggers and their dog with eyes faraway. Kageyama sat up straight against the backrest of the bench and tried to relax.</p><p>‘What else did Sugawara say?’ he asked, his voice sounding quiet after their argument.</p><p>‘Nothing really,’ said Hinata, sounding grumpy. ‘Just that if we’re going to get into something like more than friends, we need to talk about stuff. I mean, I don’t really know what to talk about, it’s just what Sugawara-san said. He seems pretty happy with Daichi though, so I guess he knows what he’s talking about.’</p><p>‘Do you want to study after practice with me tomorrow?’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes flicked to Kageyama’s face and away again.</p><p>‘I guess,’ he said, though his voice was guarded. ‘Yacchan and a friend from class filled me in on what I missed from lessons but I’ll probably need help catching up.’</p><p>‘I can help you,’ suggested Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata snorted.</p><p>‘You need help yourself,’ he said, but the teasing was light and Kageyama felt an odd sense of relief to see Hinata smile. ‘But sure, let’s study afterwards.’</p><p>Then, Hinata scooted closer and leaned his head against Kageyama’s shoulder. A shiver of surprise ran down Kageyama’s spine and his heart began to pound but he was careful to keep still should he give Hinata the wrong impression. They had been carefully not touching since Kageyama arrived and a part of him had wondered if the distance was intentional on Hinata’s part, but now, for the first time, Hinata was instigating closeness between them. That fact on its own made Kageyama’s heart thud louder in his ears and he yearned to touch Hinata back but Hinata’s request floated to the front of his mind. <em>‘Be nice to me, and treat me nicely’</em>. Again Kageyama asked himself, how? He remembered the hurriedness and desperation of his actions on the last night of the training camp and elected to do the opposite. Instead of rushing, he had to take things slow; instead of pushing, he had to encourage, and be mindful. He had to be careful otherwise the prospect of losing Hinata forever would be at stake and he couldn’t handle that, not after everything that had brought them to this moment.</p><p>Kageyama could smell the fragrance of Hinata’s hair, could feel the warmth emanating from his body, and experienced a strange sense of falling. It was a swooping sensation in his stomach that was entirely different to the one he usually associated with physical contact with Hinata; it didn’t rouse that ever-hungry beast that caused him to lose control, it merely flooded his body with a strange, enduring feeling of contentment. The feeling was unfamiliar to him and though he wanted to reciprocate the contact in some way or to show Hinata that he wanted to touch him back, Kageyama didn’t know how. Instead, he elected to sit perfectly still and allow Hinata to lean against him.</p><p>‘This,’ said Hinata, his voice barely above a whisper, ‘this is nice.’</p><p>Kageyama couldn’t help but agree. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Close for Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After his evening at the Hinata residence and their conversation in the park, Kageyama couldn’t help feeling as if something fundamental had changed between he and Hinata. They had discussed, in so many words, what they each wanted out of a more-than-friends relationship and had both done something, however small, to adhere to the other’s needs. Kageyama had earlier made his desire for physical contact known; Hinata then expressed his need for communication and tenderness. Kageyama had proposed they study together so that he could help Hinata catch up and Hinata had bridged the gap and offered Kageyama physical affection. It almost felt like progress.</p>
<p>They had talked in the park for half an hour or so before heading back to Hinata’s house. On the way back, Kageyama had entwined his fingers into Hinata’s while keeping his face set and his eyes fixed on a point somewhere ahead of him, and Hinata had looked up at him with a blushing smile that sent Kageyama’s heart racing.</p>
<p>Hinata’s house was as lively as one could expect, with Hinata’s little sister barraging Kageyama with stories about her kindergarten and her friends, and Hinata’s mother gushing over how Tobio-kun just <em>had</em> to take second and even third helpings (which Kageyama was more than happy to do under the pretence of obliging politeness). Then, the four of them had piled into Hinata’s mother’s little green hatchback and driven Kageyama home. Kageyama couldn’t help the crooked smile that tugged at the corner of his lips while he watched Hinata and Natsu waving frantically out of the window at him as Hinata’s mother drove away.</p>
<p>The next day, Hinata was back at school and playing normally. Coach Ukai eyed him closely as Hinata swore up and down he was fit to play, but Ukai insisted the rest of the players go easy on him for the afternoon lest he hurt himself worse and be unable to play in the practice match against Aoba Johsai that was looming ever closer. Once the sun started to set and they had cleaned up, Hinata and Kageyama wordlessly gravitated to one another.</p>
<p>‘I guess you guys are staying, huh?’ asked Tanaka, as he pulled on his jacket.</p>
<p>‘Daichi said I have to do homework to catch up on the days I was away from school,’ said Hinata, grumpily. ‘But Kageyama’s gonna help me get it all done tonight so we can come early to warm up a bit before the match. You’re going to get the keys right, Noya-san?’</p>
<p>‘You bet!’ said Nishinoya, with a wink. ‘See you bright and early in the morning!’</p>
<p>‘See you tomorrow!’ called Sugawara, with a sweet smile that made Kageyama scowl. ‘We’re gonna win against Seijoh for sure now that you’re back, Hinata.’</p>
<p>‘You think so?!’ said Hinata, eyes shining.</p>
<p>‘Make sure to rest, Hinata,’ said Daichi. ‘Give your ankle time to heal properly before pushing yourself. See you tomorrow.’</p>
<p>‘Yes, Captain, see you tomorrow!’</p>
<p>Hinata and Kageyama’s feet followed the familiar path out of the campus and towards Kageyama’s house, Hinata’s bike squeaking along beside them. Kageyama remembered, with a twist of misery in the pit of his stomach, how he had walked the same route alone after their return from Tokyo and how angry and frustrated and sad he had felt at the time, and how, at that moment, he was so relieved that he didn’t have to feel that way anymore. Hinata, oblivious to his partner’s torment of the previous few days, was back at Kageyama’s side and all felt right with the world again. Hinata, of course, had no way to know how Kageyama was feeling as the setter walked along with his mouth shut and his hands deep in his pockets.</p>
<p>‘I have extra notes for maths from Yachi-san, and Yamaguchi loaned me his English homework from Tuesday,’ said Hinata, listing off the top of his head. ‘You did the literature test yesterday, right?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, but I didn’t do very well,’ grumbled Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘You’ll let me look at your answers though?’ Hinata grinned innocently, and Kageyama’s stomach swooped.</p>
<p>‘Fine, but it won’t do you much good.’</p>
<p>They crossed into the front yard of Kageyama’s house and Kageyama unlocked the front door before stepping aside to let Hinata enter first.</p>
<p>Hinata slung his bag onto the entryway floor and unlaced his trainers. He entered the house, stretching widely as he did so, seeming perfectly content and comfortable to be in Kageyama’s home after visiting so many times. The thought made Kageyama feel warm inside and he found that he liked the idea of Hinata feeling relaxed in his house more than he expected.</p>
<p>‘I’ll set up the table!’ called Hinata over his shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Right, I’ll put tea on,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>Now that Hinata was back in his house, Kageyama realised just how much he had missed the domesticity of their evening studying sessions. It was a routine they had fallen into and grown accustomed to that had been interrupted by the training camp, their rocky return from Tokyo and Hinata’s injury. It was with a curious sense of relief that Kageyama listened to the sounds of Hinata setting up the table in Kageyama’s bedroom upstairs. After all the stress and worry of the past few days, Kageyama found that Hinata’s presence was a dose of calming reality that he had been missing.</p>
<p>When he entered his bedroom, Hinata had already covered the table with his stationary and note papers.</p>
<p>‘Oi, move your book so I can put this down,’ said Kageyama, and Hinata made space for the teapot and cups.</p>
<p>‘Ooooh, thanks!’ chimed Hinata. ‘Here, give me your literature test so I can copy.’</p>
<p>‘I told you, my answers were mostly wrong.’</p>
<p>‘It’s better that I have them mostly wrong than completely wrong, though. I’m not aiming to top the class, I’m aiming to pass.’</p>
<p>‘At least you have your expectations about right.’</p>
<p>‘Shut up!’</p>
<p>Time passed slowly as they worked and Hinata soon grew restless. First, he started tapping the end of his pencil against the table, then he started jiggling his knee up and down. Kageyama’s frown deepened with every passing moment until he slammed his pencil down on the table.</p>
<p>‘Would you cut it out?!’ he snapped.</p>
<p>‘I’m so bored, this is <em>so boring</em>!’ groaned Hinata.</p>
<p>Kageyama tutted under his breath.</p>
<p>‘I’m trying to concentrate, you know,’ he said. ‘It's hard enough as it is without you disrupting me.’</p>
<p>‘Sorry, sorry, but I can’t stop thinking about volleyball. Before today, I hadn’t been able to play in days!’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s anger was quelled slightly as he heard Hinata’s reasoning. Wanting to play volleyball instead of studying was definitely something he could relate to. For a split second, he felt the urge to grab Hinata’s hand which was resting innocently on the table across from him.  He wanted to feel Hinata’s warmth under his fingers, to see Hinata’s eyes full of trepidation and longing gazing up at him, but he pushed the thought aside immediately. Hinata had made it clear as day that any more-than-friends interactions between them had to be conducted slowly and tactfully. Any rash actions would only lead to set backs.</p>
<p>‘Let’s watch TV,’ said Kageyama suddenly, standing up.</p>
<p>‘Eh? TV?’ Hinata looked bemused. ‘But… study?’</p>
<p>‘We’ve done enough for now. Come on, I have a recording of Japan versus Thailand in the Asian Championship from last week. I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.’</p>
<p>He held out his hand to the decoy almost as if on instinct and he hoped that Hinata wouldn’t think too much of it. He was just trying to help him up, there wasn’t anything weird about that, right? Hinata took it, eyes suddenly shining, and Kageyama pulled him easily to his feet.</p>
<p>‘Why didn’t you say so before?!’ demanded Hinata. ‘We’ve wasted over an hour studying when we could have been watching that all this time!’</p>
<p>Kageyama rolled his eyes as Hinata practically ran into the living room and threw himself onto the couch to watch impatiently as Kageyama set up the recording.</p>
<p>‘Did we win?’ asked Hinata. ‘No wait, don’t tell me, I don’t want to spoil the ending.’</p>
<p>‘You didn’t see the results in <em>Volleyball Monthly</em>? They were listed in the first couple of pages.’</p>
<p>‘They were?! I only saw Tanaka and Noya-san reading the centre page about the Nara junior team in the clubroom this afternoon, I didn’t have a chance to read it myself. Lucky! No spoilers!’</p>
<p>Kageyama grabbed the remote from beside the television and sat down next to Hinata, pressing buttons to get the recording to play. Hinata crossed his legs on the couch and leaned forward excitedly.</p>
<p>‘It was held in Seoul this year, right?’ he asked, excitedly.</p>
<p>‘Like you need to ask…’</p>
<p>‘Shh, it’s starting!’</p>
<p>Kageyama tutted under his breath again. Hinata was special only in the sense that he could annoy Kageyama like no one else. As he leaned back into the sofa, the memory of the previous night flashed through Kageyama’s mind and he saw them sitting side-by-side on the park bench in his mind’s eye. He shot a glance at Hinata, who was leaning forward ahead of him, and his heart pounded upon remembering how the decoy had leaned his head against Kageyama’s shoulder. It had been such an innocent gesture and Kageyama recalled with inward embarrassment how he had just sat there unmoving while Hinata leaned against him but the memory made his heart thud in his ears. Even sitting beside Hinata made possibilities run wild through Kageyama’s head and he found that he could hardly focus on the television. What could he do to close the gap between them? Not just the physical gap of the thirty centimetres between where they were seated but the gap between platonic friendship and something more. Kageyama wasn’t sure what kind of friends leaned against one another, embraced and held each other’s hands. He certainly didn’t think of Hinata as more than a friend, but he wasn’t quite just a friend either.</p>
<p>All the while that these thoughts had been going around Kageyama's head, he had been watching Hinata from the corner of his eye. The decoy was leaning forward, utterly absorbed in the match on the television and seemed oblivious to the setter sitting beside him. Without thinking, Kageyama reached out and pressed his hand against Hinata’s back. Hinata looked around questioningly and Kageyama’s eyes widened and he quickly retracted his hand.</p>
<p>‘What do you want, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata.</p>
<p>His face was open and questioning, and he clearly suspected nothing unusual of the fact that Kageyama had touched him. What <em>did</em> Kageyama want? Why had he touched him? In truth, it had been completely on instinct and Kageyama was at a loss over what to say to make the act seem not weird. <em>‘Do you want a drink?’ ‘Is the volume okay?’ ‘Are you hungry?’</em> But no. What was the point in lying? They were home alone, they had embraced at the training camp and Hinata had rested his head on Kageyama's shoulder last night.</p>
<p>‘Er – do you want to lean on me?’ he asked, his voice slightly too loud and rushed for the situation.</p>
<p>Hinata stared at him for an agonising moment until his face split into a grin. Kageyama sighed inwardly in relief.</p>
<p>‘Sure!’ said Hinata.</p>
<p>He beamed and leaned back against Kageyama’s side. Kageyama wound his arm loosely around Hinata’s shoulders. Again, he was able to feel the warmth of Hinata’s body pressed against his, feel him breathing and every tiny movement of his muscles. <em>‘Do you like me, Kageyama?’</em> The question that had been posed to him the previous night rose again the forefront of Kageyama’s mind and he pondered the answer for what felt like the thousandth time that day.</p>
<p>Kageyama had never had a girlfriend, nor had he been particularly interested in anyone in the past. The only thing he had ever really cared about was volleyball and the thought of romantic interactions with anyone just seemed like a distraction from the sport that he would have found annoying. He had been confessed to twice in his last year at Kitagawa Daiichi but, both times, he had rejected the girls. The confessions had come as a surprise to him and he rejected them without a second thought. A girlfriend could never understand what volleyball meant to him and spending time with one would only mean less time spent playing and training. It had been an easy choice for him to make at the time and he had never thought twice about it. His old senpai, Oikawa, had often liked to ask him inappropriate questions about girls and his non-existent love life but Kageyama always assumed that Oikawa was just messing with him. Their relationship had always been entirely platonic, as a kouhai to a senpai and then from one rival to another. More than once, he had privately wondered if there was something more to the glint in Oikawa’s eye whenever he looked at Kageyama, but even that felt irrelevant to him. He definitely had no interest in Oikawa in that way and nothing would ever have come of it.</p>
<p>Issues of romance were soon driven from his head by the only thing more pressing to him at that moment than Hinata: volleyball. They sat together on the couch and watched for almost two hours, frequently pausing and rewinding to discuss various plays, until they were both gripping each other and cheering as Japan was declared the winner. There was one thing that made Hinata stand above the others and take precedence in Kageyama’s mind: they had a shared love of volleyball that no girl that he knew could understand. To be honest, Kageyama wasn’t sure that even the other members of Karasuno volleyball team could quite understand what volleyball meant to himself and Hinata. The orange-haired decoy was the only person that Kageyama was confident understood his passion for the sport.</p>
<p>At eight o’clock, Kageyama leaned against the entryway wall and watched Hinata put on his jacket and shoes. He couldn’t help the vague feeling of regret that weighed on him at the sight of Hinata getting ready to leave. He wanted to come up with some excuse to get him to stay but nothing viable came into his mind. It was late enough already, Hinata had a long way to ride home and they had a practice match early the following morning. He knew Hinata had to leave and he knew that he would see the decoy in the morning but a scowl still descended upon Kageyama’s features as he watched Hinata getting ready to leave.</p>
<p>Hinata stood up and grinned.</p>
<p>‘Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow!’ he said, and turned to go.</p>
<p>Before he realised what he was doing, Kageyama reached out and took hold of Hinata’s sleeve.</p>
<p>‘Hinata, wait.’</p>
<p>‘Hm?’</p>
<p>Hinata looked round questioningly and his eyes widened slightly at the expression on Kageyama’s face. There was a deep smouldering in Kageyama’s eyes and something that almost looked like hesitation barely hidden beneath. Inwardly, Kageyama hated the fact that he had no self-control. This was the second time that evening that he was reaching out and instigating a more-than-friends situation between them, but he just couldn’t help it. The sight of Hinata turning his back on him made Kageyama instinctively take action to stop the decoy leaving.</p>
<p>Kageyama stepped down into the entryway and pulled Hinata gently into his arms. He folded himself around Hinata’s smaller frame until his forehead was resting in the crook of Hinata’s shoulder. He squeezed Hinata closer, holding on as if he was afraid that Hinata would suddenly disappear. It was shameful and embarrassing and Kageyama hated it but he couldn’t help it. It was as if his body acted of its own accord. It would have been easier if Hinata had outright rejected him when they had first held hands in the courtyard but the fact that he never said no only spurred Kageyama on.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Kageyama…’</p>
<p>‘I don’t want to do this with anyone else, and I don’t want you to be like this with anyone else either.’</p>
<p>‘O-oh.’ The smile was apparent in Hinata’s voice. ‘Well, I don’t want to do this with anyone else either, so you don’t have to worry about that.’</p>
<p>For some reason, it felt good to hear Hinata say it out loud. Kageyama felt Hinata’s hands, warm and tender, smooth up his back to hold his shoulders. After a moment, Kageyama leaned back to look at his face. Hinata’s eyes were wide as they stared into Kageyama’s with sudden trepidation. An invisible hand gripped Kageyama’s stomach as tension bloomed between them where before had been gentleness; he didn’t know where the feeling was coming from but it caused him to swallow, hard. What was this feeling? The atmosphere was different than before – the air seemed electrically charged.</p>
<p>‘Kageyama,’ murmured Hinata, and his gaze dropped from Kageyama’s eyes to his mouth.</p>
<p>‘What?’ said Kageyama, lowly, and the hungry beast that had lain dormant since the training camp stirred at the sound of his name.</p>
<p>‘I should probably get going,’ said Hinata, but he didn’t move.</p>
<p>Kageyama inhaled sharply and heat pooled in the pit of his stomach. <em>Are you kidding me?!</em> He thought furiously to himself. <em>You can’t leave now! </em></p>
<p>Scarlet flushed in Hinata’s cheeks and Kageyama couldn’t help the dark hunger that bled into his eyes. He extracted his right hand from around Hinata’s waist to brush against his cheek. The skin there was burning hot. He ran his thumb lightly across Hinata’s cheekbone and then down to press over his lower lip. Hinata’s lips parted and he drew breath quickly and shallowly at the touch. <em>Stay in control</em>, Kageyama told himself firmly.<em> Treat him nicely, go slowly</em>. He moved his hand to the back of Hinata’s head and ran his fingers through the strands of ginger hair there. His hair was surprisingly soft and Kageyama was able to lose his fingers in the mess above the nape of Hinata’s neck.</p>
<p>With a sigh, Kageyama wound his arms around Hinata’s shoulders and Hinata held him back, his hands pressed against Kageyama’s lower back. Kageyama was drawn into Hinata’s shining eyes and he felt like if he didn’t say something, he was going to lose control again.</p>
<p>‘Stay,’ murmured Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘I – I can’t.’</p>
<p>At Hinata’s words, the bubble of tension that had built around them eased and the drive behind Kageyama’s hands was dulled. He rested his forehead against Hinata’s shoulder momentarily, just as he had done before, and then stood up straight. His breath was still coming fast and his pulse was thudding in his ears but they gradually calmed as he was brought down from the high and back to the reality of how late it was and that his mother would be home soon and they had a match tomorrow.</p>
<p>‘I know,’ said Kageyama, and even he could hear the regret in his voice. ‘It’s okay.’</p>
<p>They broke their embrace and Kageyama stepped back from Hinata, resolved to see him go. Hinata had a brightness in his eyes that told Kageyama that the fire there still burned and the embarrassment he had expected was not the dominant emotion in Hinata’s face. On the contrary, Hinata smiled, and in the shadows of the entryway it was like a ray of bright sunshine.</p>
<p>‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Kageyama-kun!’ he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.</p>
<p>‘R-Right,’ said Kageyama, caught off-guard by the brightness that he admitted he ought to be accustomed to by now. ‘See you tomorrow.’</p>
<p>Hinata grinned again and it was a grin of the purest, most unashamed joy. The sight washed Kageyama with relief and he realised that, despite how hard it was to keep his instincts in check, doing things Hinata’s way was worth it just to see that smile. Instead of being pushy and controlling, he was trying to be nice as Hinata had requested and it was admittedly much better. At least he didn’t kick himself afterwards and feel like a controlling idiot.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but smile slightly and he raised a hand in farewell as Hinata closed the front door behind him. Kageyama regretted to see him go but the relief at their encounter far outweighed any negativity that might have accompanied that regret. Compared to how he had been feeling while Hinata had been injured, this was positive bliss. They had embraced in the entryway of his house, held each other close and left with smiles and expectations of seeing one another tomorrow. This thing between them, whatever it was, was going in directions he had never expected but he wanted nothing more than to drive it on and see where it would take him.  </p>
<p>Kageyama retired to his bedroom, the house noticeably quieter now that Hinata was gone, and as he packed up the teapot and table his mind was abuzz. For the thousandth time since the question “do you like me?” was posed to him in the park near Hinata’s house, Kageyama wondered if he had feelings for Hinata. At any waking moment, the subject was alternating between the back and forefront of Kageyama’s mind. Not matter how many times it ran through his head, he still wasn’t any closer to a definitive answer.</p>
<p>Whenever he considered what the concept of “like” entailed, he was always left with conflicting results. Did he like Hinata as a person? Not really. The boy was loud, annoying, immature and a complete idiot with the emotional depth of garden puddle. He was always making jokes and laughing and smiling and generally reacting to the world in the complete opposite way to Kageyama, which the setter often found infuriating. Did he like Hinata as a teammate? Sometimes. Hinata was a crappy receiver and nowhere near Kageyama’s own level in terms of skill, but Kageyama envied Hinata’s raw athletic ability and couldn’t deny that when they won matches, it was often with Hinata to thank (though, when they lost matches it was also often Hinata to blame). On occasion, when they were in a flow, Kageyama loved Hinata as a teammate. When emotions were high and team spirit was at its peak, all of Kageyama’s instincts homed in on the decoy and that freak dynamic that he shared with no one else. During matches and training, Kageyama often felt the urge to both punish Hinata and embrace him within the space of thirty seconds. But then, there was Hinata as a partner. Hinata as a partner was beyond compare. Kageyama had never felt such synergy with another person in his life and it was the fear of losing that that drove his anxieties and kept him up at night. Hinata as a partner was the person to whom he owed that soaring feeling of utmost victory, to which he was utterly addicted; it was the person he appreciated the most and who understood him and his passion for volleyball the way no one had before. Hinata as a partner was the person that he could never let go of and whom he would follow to the ends of the earth in his volleyball endeavours. The problem was, Hinata was all of those people together and sometimes only one of them at a time to the detriment of the others, and it was for that reason that Kageyama still couldn’t come up with an answer to that seemingly simple question: “do you like me?”.</p>
<p>But then when he thought of losing Hinata, either by rejection or some other means; not being able to touch him or hug him or explore his body in the shadows of the doorway or in secret when no one else was around, an icy fist gripped his heart. Was this what it felt like to like someone romantically? Was this what people meant when they talked about being in love? He had no frame of reference. He was committed to seeing it through, whatever it was that was going on between he and Hinata. He was too far gone now to back out anyway. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, Ren here. Apologies for being inconsistent with my chapter uploads. I'm trying to take each day one at a time and I'm very grateful for your patience and understanding. I'm sure you have problems in your life as well and I just hope that you can forget them for a little while when you read my work.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Oikawa Tooru Talks Too Much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was still dark when Kageyama made it to school on Saturday morning. His morning routine had been frequently interrupted by mental images of Hinata in his arms in the doorway of his house and old memories of Oikawa’s smirking face. Kageyama hadn’t seen his old senpai since Karasuno lost to Aoba Johsai in the Interhigh Preliminaries over a month ago. Takeda-sensei was right in that when Karasuno had played against them, it wasn’t a true match as Oikawa had been out due an injury for roughly the first half of their game and had only joined once Karasuno had secured the first set. It was that match, Kageyama realised with a pang, that had started this <em>thing</em> with Hinata, whatever it was that was going on between them. It was during that game that Hinata had run at him with blazing eyes and flung his arms around Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama had hugged him back and then they had fallen into whatever messy, unconventional, more-than-friends relationship that had been twisting up their lives since June.</p>
<p>When Kageyama got to the gym, Hinata was already there changing his shoes. Hinata looked up and immediately turned red before standing up too quickly and almost losing his balance. Kageyama scowled.</p>
<p>‘What’s wrong with you, idiot?’ he hissed.</p>
<p>‘N-Nothing!’ squeaked Hinata. ‘Morning, Kageyama!’</p>
<p>‘…Good morning?’</p>
<p>Nishinoya, who was crouched nearby putting the gym keys into his bag, raised an eyebrow. Kageyama changed his shoes and stomped past Hinata into the gym. <em>The idiot has no subtlety</em>, he thought angrily to himself. If their more-than-friends interactions ended up getting found out because Hinata was too stupid to keep calm, the decoy would have hell to pay.</p>
<p>‘How’s your ankle?’ Nishinoya asked Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Fine, fine!’ said Hinata, with a sunny grin. ‘It feels completely normal.’</p>
<p>‘Great! Let’s warm up. I’m gonna have to be in top form today to watch out for their setter’s serves. I kept having flashbacks last night of our match in the Interhigh Prelims and how many points he scored just with those killer serves. He was your senpai in junior high, right, Kageyama?’</p>
<p>Kageyama nodded.</p>
<p>‘Oikawa always scores a lot of points with his jump-serves,’ he said. ‘It’s part of his attack style. Even I can’t match up to his serving power.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t say that, Kageyama,’ growled Hinata. ‘Your serves are awesome.’</p>
<p>‘His are next level. You’ll see.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten,’ said Hinata, and he smirked to himself with determination.</p>
<p>‘At least you have me to back you up!’ grinned Nishinoya. ‘I won’t let him score so many points as easily this time.’</p>
<p>The three of them warmed up and started practicing, their shoes squeaking on the shiny waxed floor, while the other team members of Karasuno slowly arrived as the morning wore on. Coach Ukai, Takeda-sensei and Shimizu arrived at eight o’clock and the team gathered around for a briefing from the coach. At half-past eight, they piled into the minibus and Takeda-sensei drove them to Aoba Johsai campus.</p>
<p>Aoba Johsai was a much bigger school than Karasuno and their volleyball gyms each held three courts for training and matches. Hinata’s eyes were the size of dinnerplates when they entered the boys’ gym, and his head flicked this way and that as he drank in the sights. Two of the courts were being used by a number of the Aoba Johsai team members for warm-ups. After a quick scan of the room, Kageyama noted that Oikawa wasn’t there. Kindaichi was practicing what looked to be read blocks with Kunimi and he looked over when Karasuno entered. His and Kageyama’s eyes met for a moment before Kindaichi looked away and called for another spike, his brow furrowed. The usual strange twinge of guilt that he associated with Kindaichi twisted in Kageyama’s stomach; things would never be 100% alright between them and that was something that Kageyama was still getting used to even after so much time had passed since that fateful match in junior high that had driven a wedge between himself and the rest of his old teammates.</p>
<p>The Aoba Johsai coaches came over to greet Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei and as they fell into formal pleasantries and light conversation, Kageyama heard an all-too-familiar voice calling from behind him.</p>
<p>‘Yoohoo, Tobio-chan!’</p>
<p>Kageyama clenched his teeth and felt a hellish scowl descend onto his features. Hinata, who had been watching Kageyama’s face, jumped behind Tanaka in fear.</p>
<p>‘Scary!’ he exclaimed, and Tanaka fervently nodded his agreement.</p>
<p>Kageyama turned around and saw Oikawa standing in the doorway, flanked by Iwaizumi and the other Seijoh third years who were all intimidatingly tall and wore equally haughty expressions. They were clad in turquoise and white and even Oikawa’s sickly sweet smile wasn't enough to hamper their commanding presence.</p>
<p>‘It’s been a while!’ said Oikawa, sweetly. ‘Sorry I missed so much of our match in the prelims. How are you doing?’</p>
<p>‘You weren’t missed,’ retorted Kageyama, before turning his back on the Seijoh players.</p>
<p>Though, Kageyama wasn’t entirely truthful. Oikawa was a strong player and his old senpai, and Kageyama couldn’t deny the excitement that flitted in his chest at the prospect of versing Oikawa for real. He would never back down from such a challenge. Their relationship and history were deeply personal to Kageyama and his desire for victory was riding higher than usual.</p>
<p>‘We have to beat him,’ said Kageyama, through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>Tanaka and Hinata, faces set, both nodded firmly.</p>
<p>They donned their practice bibs and started warming up. Once they were ready, the players took their positions on the court. Both Hinata and Kageyama had their eyes set with utmost focus; Daichi’s face wore a frown of concentration; Asahi was watching the Seijoh players, calm and collected as ever; Nishinoya was standing with his knees bent and arms loose, ready to react at a split-second’s notice. On the other side of the net, the team members of Aoba Johsai were positioned in a receiving stance, their eyes homed in on where Tanaka was preparing to serve. Only Oikawa was smiling lightly but there was a keenness to his glance that betrayed how just how fierce his desire to win really was.</p>
<p>The referee blew short on the whistle.</p>
<p>‘Tanaka, nice serve!’ called Daichi.</p>
<p>‘Nice serve!’ yelled Hinata.</p>
<p>Tanaka put the ball into play and the game began. It was soon apparent that with Oikawa playing setter, Aoba Johsai was a very different team to the one they had versed at the Interhigh Preliminaries. Oikawa’s familiarity and easy-going attitude supported the whole team and Kageyama quickly realised that their cohesiveness as a unit was unparalleled. Though Kageyama had greater technical skills, Oikawa was superior in his unique ability to draw the absolute best out of every individual on his team. The fact annoyed Kageyama and made him feel oddly guilty for not trying harder to be more supportive of his teammates. It wasn’t in his nature to be a sympathetic or vocal leader but Kageyama had to try otherwise they wouldn’t stand a chance of winning.</p>
<p>‘Hinata, don’t mind!’ said Kageyama, after Hinata’s spike was brutally shut down by third-year Matsukawa who towered over the orange-haired first-year. ‘It doesn’t matter if you get blocked. Shut off your brain and don’t think about it.’</p>
<p>With a jolt, Kageyama realised he was repeating the same words he had once said under very different circumstances in the yard of the training camp; and, judging by the sudden flush that bloomed in his cheeks, Hinata had made the connection too. Kageyama pushed past it. He had to say what was on his mind.</p>
<p>‘With my toss, you can get past any block,’ he said. ‘Just trust me. I won’t let you down.’</p>
<p>Hinata hesitated for a fraction of a second before nodding resolutely. The pair simultaneously turned back to face the net and Kageyama’s eyes narrowed when he noticed Oikawa smiling knowingly at him. Kageyama didn’t have time to wonder what Oikawa was thinking before the ball was back in play.</p>
<p>After a clean receive from Nishinoya, Kageyama moved into setting position. In the corners of his eyes, he saw Asahi running up to the net with his arm outstretched, calling for the toss; and he saw a flash of orange as Hinata sprinted around to the other side. For a fraction of a second, Kageyama saw that blazing look in Hinata’s face that said, <em>“give me the toss, give it to me”</em>. Hinata’s eyes were calling to him. There was no doubt in Kageyama’s mind to whom he would send the toss. The person who would score the point was the person who needed to the most.</p>
<p>He tossed with pinpoint accuracy. As he looked back behind himself following the direction of the ball, Kageyama saw an already-airborne Hinata slam the volleyball over the net to whistle past Kindaichi’s ear. It smacked into the floor and the referee blew short on his whistle for the point.</p>
<p>Kageyama grit his teeth and seriously considered walking over and pulling the decoy into a bone-crushing hug.</p>
<p>‘Nice, Hinata!’ cried Sugawara.</p>
<p>‘Nice kill!’ said Tanaka, slapping Hinata on the shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Nice toss, Kageyama!’ called Daichi.</p>
<p>Hinata stared in awe, first at his hand which was red from the impact, and then at Kageyama. Kageyama felt that familiar swooping sensation in his stomach at that look, but instead of looking away he stared Hinata down with fierce pride in the hope that Hinata would realise exactly how Kageyama was feeling at that moment. Hinata and Kageyama played with unprecedented flow. They were perfectly in synch and their dynamic seemed unparalleled. They frequently called out support to one another and Kageyama’s heart soared higher with every successful attack. Even still, Seijoh soon proved to be the more cohesive group of individuals. In the end, Karasuno lost the third set after a long rally of deuce that had the points well into the 30s. Disappointment racked Kageyama’s mind but he couldn’t deny the fact that he wasn’t entirely surprised. He knew how strong Oikawa was and how different Aoba Johsai would be with him present. Even still, it was painful to know that Karasuno wasn’t yet strong enough to defeat his old senpai. <em>Next time</em>, he swore to himself. <em>Next time, we’ll be ready</em>.</p>
<p>They played a couple more matches until all the players on both teams were equally worn out. Kageyama found himself lost in mental replays of the matches, especially of his and Hinata’s successful attacks, as he wandered out of the changing rooms alone to the front of the campus. Being a Saturday, the campus was empty and Kageyama was thankful for the quiet. Once he got outside of the large front doors, he sat down on one of the steps of the building to wait for the others. As soon as he sat down, he heard the doors swing open again and a familiar low voice from behind him.</p>
<p>‘You played well today, Tobio-chan.’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t bother looking around. He knew who had followed him. Oikawa sat down beside him and Kageyama immediately inched away from the closeness.</p>
<p>‘What do you want?’ he asked, bluntly. ‘If you’re here just to gloat, I’m going to leave.’</p>
<p>Oikawa looked scandalised.</p>
<p>‘I would never gloat!’ he said. ‘You know I’m a gracious winner.’</p>
<p>Kageyama snorted derisively and turned away.</p>
<p>‘We haven’t spoken in a long time,’ Oikawa continued. ‘I wanted to see how my dear underclassman has been doing, is that such a crime? I heard from Kindaichi that you’d changed since junior high.’</p>
<p>‘What of it?’</p>
<p>‘I got to see that for myself. I didn’t think I’d ever see you actively participate in teamwork but your teammates seemed to tolerate you just fine.’</p>
<p>‘Maybe high school has taught me something,’ said Kageyama, with disinterest.</p>
<p>He didn’t know why Oikawa had come to talk to him and he was suspicious of his senpai’s intentions. Rarely did Oikawa bring him anything but irritation and he expected that nothing the setter had to say would be of any benefit to him. He wanted to get the conversation over and done with as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>‘Or your teammates have taught you something,’ said Oikawa. ‘You see? People aren’t so bad once you actually listen to them. They are all interesting characters on your new team. That libero is particularly annoying.’</p>
<p>Kageyama smirked. He made a mental note to inform Nishinoya of that later.</p>
<p>‘But you and that Chibi-chan have something special, you know.’ Oikawa rested his chin in his hand and looked out across the yard with an oddly faraway look in his eyes. ‘I can tell that you care about him in a way that I didn’t think you were capable of.’</p>
<p>‘Huh?’ snapped Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘The shrimpy number ten. You have some kind of weird connection. It’s annoying because it makes me kind of jealous.’</p>
<p>‘Why would you be jealous of him?’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes narrowed in suspicion of the motive behind his senpai’s words but Oikawa only laughed lightly.</p>
<p>‘Well, you were always untouchable, Tobio, and so far out of everyone’s reach. Once upon a time, I wanted to be the one to get through to you, but I guess it was the Chibi-chan who got there first.’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Oikawa, smiling, ‘you wouldn’t. You always have been blindly passionate about the things you love, to a fault. I’m happy for you and the shrimp; but Kageyama, remember what happens when you lose control of your passion. Remember Kitagawa Daiichi.’</p>
<p>Kageyama clenched his teeth.</p>
<p>‘I’m not that person anymore,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘I hope not,’ said Oikawa. ‘Chibi-chan might not be able to forgive you as easily as your old teammates could.’</p>
<p>‘What are you talking about?’ snapped Kageyama. ‘They never forgave me, and I never apologised.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, that’s right.’</p>
<p>Oikawa looked Kageyama dead in the eye and smiled as if he hadn’t forgotten the fact at all. Kageyama tutted under his breath and looked away.</p>
<p>‘What do you care anyway?’ he said.</p>
<p>‘I don’t, really.’ Oikawa sighed and stretched his arms leisurely in the air above him. ‘I’d only heard that Karasuno’s setter had gotten awfully close to the Chibi-chan and I wanted to see for myself if it was true. That’s why I requested this practice match in the first place.’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s head whipped around in alarm and he stared at Oikawa, who was smiling back and looking very satisfied with himself.</p>
<p>‘Who did you hear that from?!’ demanded Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘I’m not one to gossip. It’s just what people are saying.’</p>
<p>‘Who’s “people”?’</p>
<p>‘Oh, you know, just people…’</p>
<p>Oikawa got to his feet and put his hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed with that token lazy grace that only he could achieve.</p>
<p>‘Don’t worry, I won’t go around spreading your secret,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘I don’t remember telling you any secrets.’</p>
<p>‘You didn’t have to; it’s written all over your face. And I meant it when I said I’m happy for you.’</p>
<p>Kageyama watched Oikawa saunter away and felt even more defeated than he had before. Oikawa had been able to confirm that there was something of a more-than-friends nature going on between him and Hinata just by watching them play? Kageyama was suddenly gripped with worry as to how obvious they had been to outsiders without realising. And who had been talking about them? The people who were at the training camp? Surely no one from Karasuno would be spreading rumours… He wondered if he ought to change his behaviour somehow to keep this <em>thing</em> with Hinata secret to outsiders. Then again, Oikawa was annoyingly adept at observance. He may have noticed something on his own and twisted his words to make it seem like he had been told by somebody else just to get into Kageyama’s head.</p>
<p>The double doors whined open again and the Karasuno players filtered out in pairs and groups of three. One thing Kageyama knew for sure, he would have to tell Hinata that Oikawa knew there was something going on between them.</p>
<p>When they got back to Karasuno campus, everyone piled into the gym for a last briefing from Coach Ukai. Kageyama felt a dark cloud of gloom hanging over him at their loss that only grew heavier with each passing moment and he loathed having to look a smug, smirking Oikawa in the eye after they had been defeated. Irritation and frustration tugged at his mind and distracted him from Ukai’s words. He felt pent up, as if the desire for victory that had been denied of him needed to be vented some other way that he didn’t know how. He was so distracted that he barely registered Takeda-sensei’s review. The only thing that burst through the whirling thoughts of depression and defeat circling around his head was the fact that Hinata’s knee was touching his as they sat side-by-side. That one point of contact gave his mind something to hold onto that wasn’t the fact that they lost.</p>
<p>Once the meeting was over, the players all got up to get ready to go home.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Hinata,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘What’s up, Kageyama?’</p>
<p>What could he say to make Hinata stay? If he told him outright to stay, Hinata would get suspicious of his motives. He had to think of something innocent that would keep him here, so that they could be alone.</p>
<p>‘I bet I can mop the court faster than you,’ he said, with a smirk.</p>
<p>Hinata’s face lit up at the challenge.</p>
<p>‘You’re on!’ he said.</p>
<p>They raced with mops to the exasperation of the other players who called out farewells as they departed from the gym. Once they put the mops away and started to pack up their personal belongings, Kageyama and Hinata were the only ones left in the gym. Kageyama smirked privately to himself as the success of his ploy. Hinata was so easy to manipulate sometimes. Irritation clawed at his insides at the fact that Oikawa had beaten them in every match and he needed to do the one thing that he knew would wipe his mind clean: get close to Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Good game today, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, with a grin. ‘We’ll beat Seijoh next time; I won’t let them win again.’</p>
<p>‘Hinata…’</p>
<p><em>Shit</em>, thought Kageyama. <em>Here we go. This is happening</em>. It was as if he had no control over his body. His legs brought him forward to where Hinata was standing, his hand raised itself up of its own accord and brought itself to Hinata’s face. Hinata stared at him in surprise before dodging out of the way and lifting up his hands in a fighting stance.</p>
<p>‘What’re you doing? What, you wanna fight?!’</p>
<p>‘Dumbass,’ hissed Kageyama. ‘I’m not trying to fight you.’</p>
<p>He took each of Hinata’s wrists in his own gentle but firm grasp and lowered Hinata’s arms. Hinata frowned in confusion but then realisation dawned on him as Kageyama stood much too close and wrapped his arms around Hinata’s shoulders.</p>
<p>‘Eh?! Oi, Kageyama...’ said Hinata in surprise.</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t answer. He couldn’t answer. He couldn’t find the will to speak. He needed this, the one thing that could take his mind off his loss and distract him from their defeat at the hands of his old senpai. Hinata was obviously caught off-guard at Kageyama’s closeness but he did nothing to resist which Kageyama took as permission to keep going. He held Hinata close against his chest, feeling the warmth of the decoy’s body radiating through his skin, and heard that voice in the back of his mind telling him <em>more, more, touch, pull, grab, do it</em>. In his current state, Kageyama was powerless to resist. His hands roved over Hinata’s body, caressing his shoulders, arms, back, neck, everywhere he could get his hands on his hurried desperation.</p>
<p>‘K-Kageyama –’</p>
<p>Kageyama knotted his fingers into Hinata’s hair and pressed their bodies closer together. The fragrance of fresh linen and tatami flooded his mind like a heady drug.</p>
<p>‘Wait, come on, Kageyama –’</p>
<p>Why was Hinata protesting? What was he trying to say? Why couldn’t he just be quiet and let Kageyama have his way? Didn’t he realise that Kageyama needed this?</p>
<p>‘Hey, cut it out!’ snapped Hinata, and he shoved Kageyama in the chest.</p>
<p>Kageyama was breathing heavily and his eyes were bright. Hinata was glaring at him angrily, his hands still pressed against Kageyama’s chest. A surge of frustration mounted inside Kageyama at being denied but it quickly fizzled out into depressive self-hatred.</p>
<p>‘Sorry,’ said Kageyama, and he hung his head. ‘I – I’ll leave you alone.’</p>
<p>All of a sudden, he wanted nothing more than to be by himself. He felt exhausted and didn’t want to have to look Hinata in the eye. Kageyama turned to leave but Hinata grabbed him by the wrist.</p>
<p>‘Wait!’ he said. ‘What’s wrong with you? I know we lost but it was just a practice match. We’ll beat them next time.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t you get it?’ snapped Kageyama, and he whipped his head around to stare daggers at Hinata. ‘Seijoh is the one team we have to beat. If we were in a tournament, it would all have been over after today. That would have been it, we would have lost for good.’</p>
<p>‘I know that! But it wasn’t a tournament, it was just a practice match. You played well but they had better skills than us so they won. That just means we have to train harder!’</p>
<p>‘“I played well”’ Kageyama snorted derisively. ‘It doesn’t matter how well I play, Oikawa still beat me.’</p>
<p>‘You’re such an idiot!’ yelled Hinata. ‘<em>Oikawa</em> didn’t beat <em>you</em> – <em>Seijoh</em> beat <em>us</em>! When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that you’re not playing alone?!’</p>
<p>Kageyama clicked his tongue. He wasn’t sure which was more dominant: the urge to make out with Hinata or the urge to punch him. He glared for a moment at the decoy, whose eyes were flashing fiercely as he stared up at Kageyama in defiance, before turning away.</p>
<p>‘I’m leaving,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Wait, don’t!’</p>
<p>Kageyama turned back expectantly. Hinata looked suddenly awkward but there was a defiance in his face that gave him the courage to speak.</p>
<p>‘If you want to touch me, you can,’ he said. ‘If it makes you feel better. Just - just remember to be nice about it!’</p>
<p>‘Huh?’ Kageyama scowled through his fringe. ‘Why would you want me to touch you all of a sudden?’</p>
<p>‘Because! I feel like if you don’t, you’re gonna be all pent-up and angry and play like crap tomorrow and I don’t want you to bring the rest of the team down.’</p>
<p>Anger boiled in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach, not just at the nerve of Hinata’s words but also at the truth behind them; but the anger was quickly replaced by guilt and, despite how much he wanted to be close to Hinata, he suddenly felt like he didn’t deserve it regardless of Hinata’s consent. He exhaled long through his nose and took a couple of steps towards the wall and sat down. Hinata frowned slightly but followed suit and sat beside the setter, carefully keeping a few inches of space between them. Kageyama leaned back and rested his head against the wall. He stared, unseeing, up at the ceiling and didn’t notice that Hinata was watching him closely.</p>
<p>‘I got so worked up over losing that match today,’ said Kageyama. ‘Beating Oikawa is important to me.’</p>
<p>‘Why do you care about him so much?’ asked Hinata. ‘I thought you played on the same team before. Or is it because you went to the same junior high?’</p>
<p>‘I guess so. He was my senpai and I always looked up to him. He’s always been a genius player – and I mean an all-round player, not just a setter. For some reason I feel like when I beat him, I’ll be the best setter in the prefecture.’</p>
<p>‘You’re already the best setter in the prefecture,’ said Hinata, with a roll of his eyes. ‘Seijoh beat us because they’re a better team, not because Oikawa is better than you.’</p>
<p>‘Even still…’</p>
<p>‘We’ll beat them,’ said Hinata simply. ‘It’s only a matter of time.’</p>
<p>Kageyama looked at him and there was no doubt in Hinata’s eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh and the sound of it was strange in his own ears.</p>
<p>‘What?!’ demanded Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Nothing. You’re just so sure of everything. It must be easy being you.’</p>
<p>‘Oi, you saying I’m simple?!’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.’</p>
<p>Hinata shoved Kageyama in the shoulder, catching him off guard and sending Kageyama sprawling onto the floor. Regret immediately flashed across Hinata’s face as Kageyama looked daggers at him and he held up his hands palms-out in a show of surrender but Kageyama grabbed him around the neck and pulled his ginger head roughly down against Kageyama’s chest.</p>
<p>‘<em>Ow</em>, lemme go, lemme go!’ Hinata protested, pushing against Kageyama frantically.</p>
<p>Kageyama smirked and released him.</p>
<p>‘I never thought I’d say this, but you’re right,’ said Kageyama. ‘I guess I’m overthinking things.’</p>
<p>‘You’re welcome,’ said Hinata, grumpily.</p>
<p>Kageyama got to his feet and when he did so he held out his hand to Hinata. Hinata looked at him questioningly for a moment before taking his hand and Kageyama pulled him to his feet. There was something about picking on Hinata made Kageyama feel much better.</p>
<p>‘Wanna go to Sakanoshita Shop?’ he asked. ‘I’ll buy you a bun, you can choose the flavour.’</p>
<p>‘Seriously?!’ Hinata’s eyes were shining. ‘Why would you do something like that?!’</p>
<p>‘I feel bad, okay?’ Kageyama snapped. ‘Let me buy you a bun so I can go back to being annoyed at you and not feeling guilty.’</p>
<p>‘If that’s the price, you can be mean to me as much as you like.’ </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Festivities and Fireworks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the practice match with Seijoh, the summer holiday officially started and most of their days were taken up by volleyball practice at the school gym. The temperature gradually increased with every passing day and the sky turned a periwinkle blue. After their talks at the Hinata residence and then the game with Seijoh, Kageyama was careful to be more mindful of Hinata’s wants and reservations as the guilt over how he had treated the decoy weighed heavily on him. Though Hinata had easily forgiven him after Kageyama had humbled himself to apologise at Sakanoshita Shop, he still swore to himself to get a grip and cringed with embarrassment when he recalled his actions at the gym after the practice match. The words <em>“be nice to me, and treat me nicely”</em> ran often through his head and reminded him of ways that he could draw out that shining smile which, in turn, made his own heart feel lighter. He could feel himself growing somewhat attached to Hinata and the prospect made him uncomfortable. The more time he spent with Hinata in a more-than-friends situation, the more it threatened to overtake his perception of what the default nature of their relationship was; and, if he did that, he could send himself down a path that led to disappointment and rejection. Kageyama didn’t know what Hinata thought of him. He didn’t know if Hinata wanted something more out of their daily interactions or if he was merely allowing Kageyama to have his way perhaps for entertainment or out of idle curiosity. He didn’t know if Hinata wanted to grab him by the shoulders and touch him every time he saw him like Kageyama did. <em>“Be nice to me”</em>. The words had soon imprinted themselves in Kageyama’s brain and he was afraid of making the wrong move and scaring Hinata away, or ruining his own prospects the way he had in junior high due to nothing more than sheer idiocy. Looking back, he couldn’t believe how rash he had been at the training camp; if Hinata had rejected him like he very possibly could have then this thing, whatever it was, would have been over before it began.</p><p>The fact that Hinata hadn’t rejected him outright gave Kageyama a sliver of hope that something resembling a more-than-friends relationship could be nurtured given the right conditions. He just had to be nice to Hinata, whatever that meant… He wasn’t even sure himself if he wanted anything more-than-friends with Hinata in terms of a relationship; all he knew was that an annoyingly dominant part of his brain told him to put his hands on the boy whenever he was in his presence. The words that Oikawa had said after the practice match rang all too often in the back of Kageyama’s mind:<em> “Remember what happens when you lose control of your passion.”</em> It annoyed him mostly because those words were right. If Kageyama actually acted on half of his impulses, Hinata would have been sent running to the hills weeks ago. After his conversation with Oikawa, Kageyama had planned to tell Hinata what had transpired but as the shock of the moment eased he decided it best not to worry Hinata with idle gossip. He believed that Oikawa would keep it to himself as he had promised and he pushed the conversation from his mind.</p><p>Kageyama was careful to observe his and Hinata’s dynamic during practice and noticed, with considerable relief, that nothing seemed out-of-the ordinary between them. Hinata still pissed him off as ever, which he considered to be a good thing with hindsight, and Hinata still responded with predictable ferocity whenever Kageyama teased him about something, which was perfectly in accordance with his usual attitude. Kageyama couldn’t help seeking out opportunities to be alone with Hinata where he could make a move to broach the topic of all that had transpired between them, but the opportunity never presented itself. Either they were at school with other students or at training or walking home with the other team members. Once, they had headed to Sakanoshita Shop to study together just the two of them but Ukai had sat with his feet on the counter smoking cigarettes and reading manga for the duration of the evening, much to Kageyama’s irritation. At least during training, the way Hinata acted around him made Kageyama sure that things were as close to normal as they could ever be. It was only on one Tuesday afternoon when he sat drinking water on the sidelines of the volleyball court that an unprecedented opportunity arose.</p><p>‘Hey, Kageyama, you’re coming to Tanabata Festival with us, right?’ Daichi asked, peering over Sugawara’s shoulder.</p><p>Kageyama paused mid-drink and lowered his bottle.</p><p>‘I didn’t know you were going,’ he said, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.</p><p>‘We weren’t originally, at least not as a group,’ explained Asahi. ‘But seeing as the second-years are going and us third-years were planning to meet up with Michimiya and the other girls there, we thought it could be fun to go to Sendai as a group. Are you first-years planning on going?’</p><p>‘Oooh, yes, we are!’ said Hinata excitedly, jumping into the conversation. ‘I was just talking about it with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. I didn’t get to go last year because I had to visit my relatives in Iwate prefecture. Kageyama will come too, won’t you?’</p><p>‘I guess,’ said Kageyama, feeling like he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. </p><p>He hadn’t forgotten about the festival and had been secretly wondering if his volleyball teammates would be attending, and he was glad to have an excuse to finally spend time with Hinata away from school even if it would be in the company of the other team members.  </p><p>‘Kiyoko-san is going, so Noya and I have to go to watch over her,’ Tanaka explained, reasonably.</p><p>‘Right,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Sendai gets filled with all kinds of weird people during the festival,’ said Nishinoya. ‘Who knows what could happen? We must watch over her.’</p><p>‘Yeah, you wouldn’t want Shimizu-senpai followed around by some weird guys who won’t leave her alone, right?’ said Tsukishima, his tone dripping with sarcasm which made Tanaka scowl.</p><p>Ukai cancelled Thursday’s training, stating that if they wanted to go to the festival he was more than happy to take a rest day. He had been waking up to work on his mother’s farm every morning at four o’clock as well as working late in the evening at the shop and had been sporting dark circles under his eyes for weeks. So it was that on Thursday before noon, Kageyama was waiting for Hinata at their usual meeting point by the vending machines near his house. The sun was shining overhead and cicadas whined in the late-morning heat. Hinata rode up on his bike, braking hard a couple of feet in front of Kageyama and looking him up and down.</p><p>‘You look weird,’ said Hinata, his head cocked to one side.</p><p>‘Weird?!’</p><p>Kageyama grabbed him roughly by the collar, ready to whack him for the insult.</p><p>‘No, I mean it’s weird to see you in casual clothes!’ said Hinata, hurriedly. ‘You look normal otherwise.’</p><p>Hinata grinned sheepishly. Kageyama looked down at himself. He was wearing a pair of dark grey jeans, a white t-shirt with some blue text, and black sneakers. Nothing too weird, he thought. Hinata, on the other hand, was in colourful contrast: he wore army green cargo shorts, a pale-yellow t-shirt and yellow converse shoes that had a bright red star on each side. He rubbed the back of his neck innocently and Kageyama let him go with a huff.  He couldn’t deny that it was refreshing to see Hinata in casual clothing. He always enjoyed the way the volleyball uniform clung to Hinata’s athletic frame and how the school uniform brought out the colour of his hair but there was an odd thrill to see Hinata in clothes he’d chosen from his own wardrobe. Kageyama pushed the feeling aside and tried to lose the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him to reach out and touch his teammate.</p><p>‘Come on, we’ve got to meet the others at the station,’ he said. ‘I can ride, you sit on the back.’</p><p>He held out his and for Hinata’s bike and the decoy handed it over gratefully.</p><p>‘Really? Thanks, Kageyama-kun!’</p><p>‘I’m only offering so we get there faster. Daichi will be mad if we’re late.’</p><p>He adjusted the seat and they set off for the subway station where they were due to meet the others. All the players from the volleyball team were there already waiting and Hinata locked his bike outside the station before joining them. From there, they travelled to Sendai city. As soon as they stepped out of the subway station, the presence of the festival made itself apparent to each of them. The city of Sendai had come alive in an explosion of colour and noise. Crowds of people were thronged through the streets and the main thoroughfares had been closed to traffic and occupied by stalls presenting decorations or selling snacks, gifts and other trinkets.</p><p>‘Here, I got us some maps,’ said Narita, handing out a handful between them all.</p><p>‘We’re going to meet the girls in the Festival Hall at two o’clock, so we have an hour or so,’ said Daichi. ‘What do you guys want to do beforehand?’</p><p>‘We should check out the decorations!’ said Sugawara.</p><p>‘What about the food stalls?’ suggested Tanaka.</p><p>‘I think most of the food stuff is in the Festival Hall,’ mused Asahi.</p><p>‘It’s almost one, we could watch the Suzume Odori folk dance,’ said Yamaguchi. ‘It’s not far from here.’</p><p>‘After that can we go to Fujisaki department store to look at the paper cranes?’ said Hinata, his nose in the map. ‘Look, Kageyama, it says there’s tens of thousands of them!’</p><p>In the end, they agreed to see the folk dance before making their way up through the decorated streets to the department store and from there to the Festival Hall. As they walked, Kageyama noticed that Hinata kept pulling on his sleeve to get his attention or touching his arm to show him something. They walked side-by-side, rarely breaking step, and Kageyama was forced to admit to himself that he was glad he had decided to attend the festival.</p><p>The folk dance was immensely popular and Hinata bemoaned his average height while Kageyama offered to describe what was happening to him, much to Hinata’s chagrin. The streets were a shining, waving mirage of coloured paper crafts streaming in the afternoon sun.</p><p>‘Look!’ cried Nishinoya, pointing at the front of the department store once it came into view.</p><p>‘Ooooooh, <em>awesome</em>!’ squealed Hinata.</p><p>The front of the department store was a waterfall of tens of thousands of different coloured paper cranes. The textures and colours threaded upon one another created a beautiful rainbow illusion and the front of the store was congested with pairs and groups of people taking photos.</p><p>‘Kageyama, let’s take a picture!’ said Hinata, excitedly.</p><p>Without waiting for a response, he grabbed Kageyama by the wrist and pulled him forward into the crowd. Kageyama allowed himself to be led through the maze of people. There were colourful lights, breathtaking arts and crafts, loud music and throngs of interesting people chatting and laughing around them, but what caught Kageyama’s attention most was Hinata’s hand clasped around his wrist. He watched the back of the decoy’s tousled orange head as they weaved their way to the front of the shining tapestry of cranes.</p><p>‘Okay, this is good,’ said Hinata, obviously satisfied with the location.</p><p>‘Taking a selfie is so lame,’ said Kageyama, with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>‘It’s not lame, it’s fun to remember!’ protested Hinata, and he held out his phone in front of himself. ‘Smile!’</p><p>He made a winking face and flashed a peace sign to his phone’s camera. Kageyama looked forward sullenly. Hinata nudged Kageyama in the ribs.</p><p>‘You have to smile.’</p><p>‘I don’t have anything to smile about!’</p><p>Suddenly, a passing group made the crowd converge and sent Hinata flying into Kageyama’s side. He whacked his head against Kageyama’s shoulder with a yelp. Kageyama sniggered just as Hinata took a photo. The result was a smirking Kageyama looking at an orange blur which Hinata was not happy about but made Kageyama snort.</p><p>‘Not good enough, let’s take another,’ said Hinata, grumpily. ‘Ready? Three, two, one…’</p><p>He put his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders, tugging the setter down to his level and bringing their faces close together. Warmth spread through Kageyama’s body at the easy way that Hinata touched him, even if it was only in a platonic way, and he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. Hinata took the photo and let Kageyama go but they stayed standing close as they looked at Hinata’s phone. The background was a soft colourful blur of people and paper cranes, Hinata was grinning brightly with his arm around Kageyama, who was leaning his head against Hinata’s and smiling slightly. Kageyama had to admit it to himself, it was a nice photo. Hinata was staring at the phone in his hands with a stupid grin on his face.</p><p>‘I can’t believe I got you to smile in a photo,’ he said.</p><p>‘That’s it, I’m deleting it,’ said Kageyama, and he reached out to snatch the phone from Hinata’s hand.</p><p>‘Hey! <em>Give it back</em>!’ Hinata protested. ‘Nooo don’t delete it! I won’t show anyone else, I swear!’</p><p>‘Oi, what are you guys doing?’ called Tanaka, through the crowd. ‘Get over here, Karasuno team selfie!’</p><p>Kageyama allowed Hinata to snatch his phone back and they weaved through the crowd to get into formation with the others. After that, Shimizu and Yachi appeared, waving at Sugawara who had messaged the managers where to meet them. A blushing Shimizu presented them with a string of black and orange paper cranes that she had folded, causing Tanaka, Nishinoya, Sugawara, Asahi and Daichi to promptly burst into tears. Then, Yachi insisted they add wishes to one of the many bamboo trees alongside the decoration areas. A lot of the trees were already laden with coloured strips of paper and she handed out paper and pens to the Karasuno team members.</p><p>‘What are you going to wish for?’ Yamaguchi asked Tsukishima, who was tapping his chin thoughtfully with the end of his pen.</p><p>‘I kind of need a new external hard drive,’ mused Tsukishima.</p><p>‘It’s tanzaku, not a letter to Santa Claus,’ said Tanaka, with an eyebrow raised. ‘You’re supposed to wish for love or good grades, those kinds of things.’</p><p>‘You’d better write out a bunch of wishes if you want to achieve either of those,’ retorted Tsukishima.</p><p>‘I’m going to wish for Karasuno winning at the Preliminaries and going to Nationals,’ said Daichi loudly, with a smile that was friendly despite the hardness in his eyes that warned Tsukishima and Tanaka to stop bickering.</p><p>‘Good idea, I’ll wish for that too!’ said Hinata, scrawling in his messy hand over his piece of paper.</p><p>‘Me too,’ said Ennoshita, following suit.</p><p>Every one of them wrote that same wish on their paper and each attached them to the same tree so that it looked like the tree itself was wishing for Karasuno to go to Nationals.</p><p>‘I like that tree,’ said Asahi, smiling fondly.</p><p>Sugawara took a photo.</p><p>Afterwards, they split up as the third-years went to meet up with Michimiya and the other girls from Karasuno girls’ volleyball team. The first- and second-years meandered slowly to where food stalls were set up in rows to taste at least one of every kind of dish on offer and watched various street performances. Hinata fought with himself for fifteen minutes over buying a badge in the shape of a volleyball from a street vendor before Kageyama dragged him away by the back of his shirt. Then, as the sun started to set, they decided to head to the riverside park to get a good spot for watching the fireworks.</p><p>‘Wait!’ cried Hinata, in dismay. ‘I changed my mind, I have to go back and buy that badge.’</p><p>‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ sneered Tsukishima.</p><p>‘We should probably go to the park now otherwise we won’t get good spots,’ said Nishinoya, tapping his chin.</p><p>‘My life won’t feel complete until I buy it!’ whined Hinata.</p><p>‘Dumbass,’ said Kageyama, with an exasperated sigh. ‘Come on, I’ll go with you; you guys head down and save us a spot.’</p><p>‘If you’re sure you’ll make it in time,’ said Tanaka, sounding dubious.</p><p>‘We’ll be quick, I swear!’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘Alright, see you there!’</p><p>‘Idiot Hinata,’ Kageyama hissed, as they parted from the others and began weaving their way back to the Festival Hall.</p><p>‘I should have just bought it in the first place!’ said Hinata, despairingly. ‘It was so cool and I have an empty space on my bag that’s just perfect for it. Why didn’t you tell me to buy it?!’</p><p>‘You should have just bought it yourself instead of hesitating for fifteen minutes!’</p><p>The Festival Hall was emptier than before as most people were going down to watch the fireworks. Hinata bought the badge quickly from the salesperson that looked pleased but perplexed that he had struggled so much over one ¥200 badge.</p><p>‘Okay, we’re in a hurry now,’ said Kageyama, pointedly.</p><p>‘Ahh we’re not going to make it in time!’ groaned Hinata, looking at his watch.</p><p>‘Was the badge really worth it?’  </p><p>‘I’m sorry! I didn’t realise it would take us so long!’</p><p>Kageyama stopped in his tracks and Hinata stopped too, looking back questioningly.</p><p>‘Why are you stopping?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Look at that crowd,’ said Kageyama, pointing ahead. ‘We’re never going to reach the others before six o’clock. We should try and find somewhere we can get a good view of the fireworks and just meet up with them after.’</p><p>‘I guess you’re right…’ Hinata looked at the crowd with his eyebrows knitted in distress.</p><p>‘Come on.’</p><p>Kageyama led the way out of the main thoroughfare and down a street that wasn’t part of the festival to where he knew was a larger shopping mall of sorts from a previous trip to Sendai with his parents. Due to the holiday, the mall was sure to be closed but that didn’t matter.</p><p>‘Oi, Kageyama, where are we going?’ called Hinata in a nervous voice from behind him.</p><p>Kageyama didn’t answer. He led Hinata into the carpark of the mall and up a ramp to where the upstairs parking area was located. It was a level higher than the surrounding buildings and gave them a view of the river and the swathe of dark green that was Nishi Park. They made their way to the edge of the empty lot to look out over the railing. The sky was open and revealing the first of the evening’s stars as the western horizon dimmed to shades of orange and purple. The network of cross-hatch streets were illuminated with the lights of the festival, and crowds of people could be seen milling about and making their way towards the riverside. A fresh, late summer breeze swirled around the carpark and sent up the distant noise, chatter and music of the festival.</p><p>‘Ooooooh nice, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, gazing out with glee. ‘You can see the whole city from here!’</p><p>Kageyama checked the time on his phone.</p><p>‘They should be starting any minute now,’ he said.</p><p>They both leaned against the railing and stared out at the view, waiting for the fireworks to begin. After a moment of silence, Hinata spoke.</p><p>‘Today kind of felt like a date, don’t you think?’ he said, with a sheepish grin.</p><p>‘A date?!’ Kageyama shouldered him roughly in the arm. ‘Don’t say weird things.’</p><p>‘What, you wouldn’t want to go on a date with me?’</p><p>‘Hell no!’</p><p>But Kageyama didn’t speak the truth of his thoughts. Now that he thought about it, yes, it had felt oddly like a date – if it was possible to have a date with ten other people there, too. Kageyama had never been on a date before but he imagined they often included participating in activities, watching performances, sharing food and taking pictures. He wondered why Hinata had decided to voice that feeling now. The presence of the boy standing next to him felt electric and he thought back to when they had embraced in the entryway of his home. He recalled the feeling of Hinata’s warm body pressed against his and suddenly the prospect of going on a date with Hinata didn’t seem so bad.</p><p>Suddenly, a jittering spark whizzed out of the distant trees and shot up into the sky. A shower of stars exploded with a bang like a cannon and Hinata’s face shone with excitement.</p><p>‘It’s starting!’</p><p>The fireworks lit up Hinata’s face in shades of pink and gold. Sparkling stars reflected in his wide, childlike eyes as he gazed up in wonder at the sky. Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off him. The animalistic urge to grab Hinata then and there had taken hold of him and he had to use every ounce of concentration to stop himself from acting rashly. But they were alone in the shadows of an empty carpark, under a shower of glittering stars, and Hinata was standing there within arm’s reach. His hair flashed crimson and bronze in the light of the exploding fireworks and Kageyama remembered what it was like to run his fingers through those strands. He remembered what it was like to touch the softness of his cheek, and to press his thumb against the contours of his lower lip.</p><p>‘Hinata.’</p><p>‘Yeah?’</p><p>‘Did today really feel like a date to you?’</p><p>Hinata looked over questioningly.</p><p>‘Well, kind of,’ he said, with another sheepish smile. ‘Even though we were with the others. Sorry if that’s weird.’</p><p>Kageyama was gripped by that familiar reckless feeling of throwing caution to the wind. He couldn’t not act. The air itself felt alive with expectation for him to reach out and close the distance between them. If he really thought about it, he had been wanting to all day. The possibility had been there, hidden just beneath the surface, since they had met at the vending machines at midday. Now, with the sky aglow with showering stars, the last shred of his willpower melted away.</p><p>He turned his body towards Hinata and Hinata mirrored his movement without a word. He brought his hand to lightly touch Hinata’s cheek and Hinata stared up at him with a dazzling mirage reflected in his eyes. Until now, they had only ever touched and hugged in ways that could be brushed off as maybe a little strange but still curiously platonic. They could still go back to being normal teammates without much having changed between them and their relationship. Now, however, a curiosity had taken hold of Kageyama as he looked down at the decoy. A kiss… What would it feel like to kiss Hinata? A kiss was something that was definitely not platonic and couldn’t be excused as such under any circumstance. It was something that would take their relationship firmly away from that of teammates and towards that of something else, something more exhilarating. Did Kageyama want that? He didn’t know. He was never sure of anything regarding Hinata anymore. Was he ready? The stirring in the pit of his stomach and racing of his heart told him all he needed to know.</p><p>Kageyama leaned down slowly, closing the few inches of space that had been between them, and hovered slightly, his lips so close to Hinata’s parted ones that they breathed the same air. He paused for a moment to give Hinata the opportunity to say no, or to push him away. When Hinata didn’t move, Kageyama took that as permission for him to do what every fibre in his body was telling him to do. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Hinata’s. Instantly, all of Kageyama’s senses started screaming at him to <em>touch, grab, pull</em>, and he fought with his mind to keep his hands in check, but his furious heartbeat conveyed the extent of his desire. The softness of Hinata’s lips melted into his and when a hand gripped his shirt front Kageyama wasn’t sure if it was a gesture of longing or resistance. He couldn’t help peeking through his lashes; Hinata’s eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his eyebrows upturned, and the fistful of fabric at Kageyama’s chest was trembling.</p><p>They broke apart and they were breathing equally heavily. Hinata looked down unseeing into the space between them, his hand still gripping a fistful of Kageyama’s shirt as if in an attempt to keep himself grounded.</p><p>‘Now it definitely feels like a date,’ said Hinata, sounding oddly shell-shocked.</p><p>Kageyama straightened up. When Hinata looked up, he grinned and there was colour burning in his cheeks. Fondness for that smile flooded Kageyama’s chest and he couldn’t help the tugging at the corners of his lips. Hinata let go of the front of Kageyama’s shirt and Kageyama took hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. At the feel of Hinata’s hand in his, Kageyama was reminded of the first time they had held hands back in the courtyard at school all those weeks ago. There was no way he could have known then that that one action, born out of curiosity more than anything, would lead him to feel the sweet softness of Hinata's lips against his own. It felt almost too good to be true.</p><p>The fireworks ended and Kageyama and Hinata made their way down to meet the others and head back to Karasuno. As they made their way through the crowds, Kageyama’s heart felt lighter than the wind and he realised that he couldn’t stop smiling. Hinata, too, talked and laughed loudly and both their faces were flushed when they met up with the rest of the volleyball team. Once they reached Karasuno Station, they all shared parting farewells and Hinata retrieved his bike from the stand.</p><p>‘Ride home safe, Hinata!’ called Sugawara. ‘See you tomorrow!’</p><p>‘See you tomorrow!’</p><p>‘Goodnight!’</p><p>Hinata sat on the back of his bike and Kageyama rode them through the dark streets towards the vending machines where they would part ways, the area seeming oddly quiet after the noise and commotion of the city festival. The image of Hinata’s face, lit up by the flashing lights of exploding fireworks, shimmered in Kageyama’s eyes like a dream. He couldn’t get it out of his head. Over and over again he recalled the feeling of Hinata’s lips under his, how surprisingly soft and supple they were. He had never kissed anyone before. Now that he had done it once, he wanted to see what else he could get Hinata to do.</p><p>They crossed over the train line and Kageyama brought the bike to a halt under the glow of the streetlight by the familiar vending machines.</p><p>‘Today was fun!’ said Hinata, with a shining grin. ‘Thanks for hanging out with me.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>Kageyama wanted to kiss him again but he didn’t know how. Now that the electricity and thrill of the fireworks was gone, he felt only awkward. Hinata, too, had a pink tinge to his cheeks that told Kageyama the boy was probably about as embarrassed as he was.</p><p>‘Um, see you tomorrow, then,’ said Hinata, rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>‘Right,’ said Kageyama, stiffly. ‘See you tomorrow.’</p><p>Hinata mounted his bike, flashed a grin and a wave, and rode off into the night. Kageyama watched him go before slapping himself in the forehead with the flat of his palm. Now he’d done it. He had kissed Hinata and it had been awesome and now there was absolutely no doubt about the fact that their relationship was firmly outside of the realm of platonic friendship. This was completely unknown territory for Kageyama (and, he assumed, for Hinata too), and he felt equally nervous, excited, unsure and embarrassed about everything that had happened between them. Of one thing he was absolutely sure: there was no going back now, no pretending that nothing had happened and acting only like friends. There was nowhere else to go but forward and to see where the future would lead them; to wreck or ruin or to something worth it all, Kageyama was yet to find out.</p><p>He walked home in a daze and all but floated upstairs to his bedroom. After taking a bath and preparing for sleep, his phone buzzed and the name <em>Hinata Shouyou</em> flashed on the screen. Frowning, Kageyama opened the message. There was no text, only a photo. In it was Hinata, grinning brightly with his arm around Kageyama whose head was leaning against the decoy’s and sported a crooked smile. Bright, out-of-focus points of colour made up the background. Kageyama sat on his bed and stared at the photo. His heart swelled. Yeah, there was definitely no going back now. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello. I hope that you're doing alright in these trying times. Thank you very much for reading and I hope that this chapter was worthy of the time it took for you to read it. I’m trying my best - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Sound of Your Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Training ran on the following few days as usual. On Saturday, they practiced at first as a whole team with Coach Ukai spiking for them and then they fell into smaller groups to practice other attacks. When the sun sank low and the clouds became pink-stained and shot with gold, the Karasuno team members filed out of the gym. Hinata, putting his shoes into his bag, straightened up when he heard someone call his name.</p>
<p>‘Hey, Hinata!’ called Yachi, running over.</p>
<p>‘Oh, hey Yacchan!’ Hinata smiled his usual beaming smile. ‘What’s up?</p>
<p>‘Um, erm…’</p>
<p>Yachi was obviously trying to ask him something but was momentarily too embarrassed to get the words out. Kageyama pulled on his shoes a couple of feet away and narrowed his eyes as he listened.</p>
<p>‘Um,’ Yachi continued, ‘I was thinking of getting some pastries from the shopping district after practice, and – er – I was wondering ifyou’dliketocomewithme?’</p>
<p>The last words spilled out of her mouth at once and her face immediately flushed bright crimson. Hinata laughed and rubbed the back of his head, clearly chuffed at the invitation.</p>
<p>‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to!’ she clarified, hurriedly.</p>
<p>Kageyama instantly flared up with jealousy. As he stood up with his volleyball shoes in his hand, he moved closer to Hinata and stood just slightly behind him, staring down Yachi with daggers in his eyes. <em>Back off</em>, he said with his eyes.</p>
<p>‘Actually, I already agreed to hang out with Kageyama,’ said Hinata, oblivious to the dark cloud radiating around them from Kageyama’s face. ‘Maybe next time, though!’</p>
<p>He grinned and waved and Kageyama followed him wordlessly out into the yard, leaving Yachi white in the face and reeling.</p>
<p>‘Thanks for offering to buy me tea, Kageyama!’ said Hinata to Kageyama, the encounter with Yachi already forgotten.</p>
<p>‘It’s okay,’ muttered Kageyama.</p>
<p>Earlier during training, Kageyama had offered to get them tea from Sakanoshita Shop. After their kiss at the festival, Kageyama was determined to try and fulfil Hinata’s wish for him to be nice. For some time since their practice match with Seijoh, Kageyama had wondered whether he should tell Hinata what Oikawa had told him: that Oikawa knew there was something between them, and that it was possible people had been gossiping about Kageyama and Hinata’s relationship; but he had decided against it. Oikawa probably only said it to get inside Kageyama’s head and throw him off his game. After pondering his senpai’s words, Kageyama wondered if there was any truth behind them at all. In the end, he decided it best not to worry Hinata with speculative talk.</p>
<p>The evening was surprisingly warm and crickets were chirping from tufts of grass along the edge of the road. The late summer air was heady with the fragrance of flowers and Kageyama and Hinata walked in step towards Sakanoshita Shop, their shoulders touching. A sweet pink tinge coloured Hinata’s cheeks. Kageyama was staring pointedly ahead.</p>
<p>‘I passed the literature test!’ said Hinata, breaking the silence. ‘Remember, the one you helped me study for?’</p>
<p>Kageyama looked down at him from the corner of his eye. He was smiling brightly up at Kageyama with one of those characteristic expressions that made Kageyama feel like he was staring at the sun.</p>
<p>‘I got my results back today by mail,’ continued Hinata. ‘The ones I copied from you I got right plus two others, so I beat you!’</p>
<p>‘You didn’t beat me if you copied the answers that I came up with in the first place,’ said Kageyama. ‘Otherwise, it’s basically as if you only got two answers right.’</p>
<p>‘That’s not what the score on the paper said,’ refuted Hinata. ‘I got a C+ which is a solid pass.’</p>
<p>‘Congratulations…’</p>
<p>‘Well, I couldn’t have done it without your help, so thanks, Kageyama-kun!’</p>
<p>‘You should be buying <em>me</em> tea,’ argued Kageyama, reasonably. ‘As pay back.’</p>
<p>‘Should I?!’</p>
<p>Hinata looked suddenly worried but Kageyama only shoved him in the shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Dumbass,’ he teased.</p>
<p>‘Shut up! I can never tell if you’re serious or not!’</p>
<p>‘It’s easy to tell: I’m always serious.’</p>
<p>‘Cut it out, Kageyama!’</p>
<p>They bickered until they reached Sakanoshita, where they greeted Ukai’s mother who had been minding the shop while the man himself had been coaching at the school. Kageyama paid for the tea and they sat leisurely at a low table by the window across from one another. As he sat down, Hinata slid the window open to try and tempt a non-existent breeze. The whine of evening crickets and the occasional distant car permeated their conversation, along with the sounds of Ukai’s mother shuffling about the shop organising shelves and the clicking of the small fan that turned this way and that behind the register.</p>
<p>‘That Oikawa guy is really smart,’ said Hinata, as he flicked absent-mindedly through last month’s copy of <em>Volleyball Monthly</em> which had been left on the table. There was an article about Aoba Johsai which had caught his eye and clearly brought Oikawa to his mind. ‘We’re lucky he wasn’t there for the whole game when we versed Seijoh in the last prelims, otherwise we would have been thrashed from the first set.’</p>
<p>‘Well, we lost to them anyway,’ noted Kageyama, pouring the tea. ‘Either way, we wouldn’t have made it to Nationals. And he’s not that smart.’</p>
<p>‘Are you kidding? He’s like a genius! His jump serves are amazing and he’s in control of his whole team, like a setter should be.’</p>
<p>‘What, unlike me?’ challenged Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘You’re a genius setter,’ shrugged Hinata. ‘Even better than Oikawa. I bet that fact really annoys him.’</p>
<p>Kageyama smirked and leaned back in his chair with satisfaction.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, it probably does,’ he conceded. ‘But remember at the practice match, did you see the look on his face when we first did our quick?’</p>
<p>‘That was my favourite part of the whole match!’</p>
<p>‘He marked you after that. See, being the ultimate decoy is just as cool as being the ace; you get marked by genius players like Oikawa because they see you as a threat.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes shimmered at the praise and Kageyama suppressed his smile. He really had grown to enjoy that shining look.</p>
<p>‘We’ve been on summer holiday for a while now,’ mused Kageyama. ‘Takeda-sensei will probably organise a training camp at some point soon before school starts again. A longer one this time.’</p>
<p>‘You think so?! With Nekoma and Fukurodani again?’</p>
<p>‘It depends if they want to cooperate,’ shrugged Kageyama. ‘But maybe. I wonder where we could go.’</p>
<p>‘Tokyo!’ said Hinata, immediately. ‘We could train during the day and visit the Sky Tree in the evening!’</p>
<p>‘I doubt we’ll have much time for sight-seeing,’ said Kageyama, but he caught the sudden look of disappointment in Hinata’s face and felt guilty. ‘But maybe, who knows…’</p>
<p>‘Going sight-seeing would be so awesome! We could see the Sky Tree, Tokyo Tower, Ginza, Ueno Park…’ Hinata suddenly blushed and a Kageyama’s heart skipped. ‘I’d like to visit those places with you, Kageyama.’</p>
<p>Kageyama inhaled and gripped his fists under the table. <em>He’s so goddamn cute</em>, he thought furiously. He cleared his throat and looked at the table.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I’d like that too,’ he mumbled. ‘But we might not go to Tokyo, we were there last time after all.’</p>
<p>‘That’s true,’ said Hinata, thoughtfully. ‘Where would you want to go?’</p>
<p>‘Somewhere with good courts,’ said Kageyama. ‘That’s the only thing that matters.’</p>
<p>‘I guess so…’</p>
<p>Hinata seemed put out by Kageyama’s uninspired answer and Kageyama kicked himself internally for his lack of creativity. Instead, he elected to refill their cups and Hinata pushed his closer within Kageyama's reach.</p>
<p>‘We should try to meet up as often as possible now that we don’t have classes,’ continued Kageyama.</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes suddenly shone.</p>
<p>‘Really?’ he said, eagerly. ‘You want to?’</p>
<p>‘For training, dumbass!’ snapped Kageyama, and he couldn’t help the heat the rose in his cheeks.</p>
<p>‘Okay, sure, sure,’ Hinata conceded, but he still looked annoyingly pleased with himself. ‘You’re so tsundere, Kageyama-kun.’</p>
<p>‘I am not! And you read too much manga.’</p>
<p>‘You’re not planning to go on any holidays, are you?’ asked Hinata.</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Kageyama, flatly. ‘My parents are working all the time so we wouldn’t have time anyway. My sister will probably come to visit at some point but she doesn’t usually stay for long. I’ll just be at home.’</p>
<p>‘Me too! We can go to training and practice in the evenings, right?’</p>
<p>‘Right.’</p>
<p>They chatted lightly as the sunset turned to dusk. Their tea had long run out when they decided to leave and they thanked Ukai’s mother for having them before stepping out into the night.</p>
<p>‘It’s so hot,’ sighed Hinata, and he pulled at the collar of his t-shirt to let air underneath. ‘Why did we have tea? We should have had ice cream instead.’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s senses felt heightened in the darkness and he became hyper-aware of their solitude as soon as they left the pool of light around Sakanoshita Shop. During the day, it was easy to forget that there was anything more-than-friends going on between them when they were forced into civility by the presence of others; but when they were alone under the cover of night, Kageyama was struck with the reality that any change in events was his for the taking if only he would reach out and make the first move. He had spent the evening with Hinata the Teammate; now, he could turn that person into Hinata the Partner with just one touch. He longed for the boy that he’d caressed in the bath during the training camp, that he’d pressed up against the wall, that he’d held in the entryway of his house, and kissed under the fireworks. That person had fast become Kageyama’s favourite.</p>
<p>Hinata, oblivious to the mechanisms of Kageyama’s thoughts, wheeled his bike along and hummed vaguely to himself. Kageyama’s heart was pounding in his ears. It was a warm evening but he felt exceptionally hot. He wanted to reach out and touch Hinata’s hand but both of Hinata’s hands were guiding the handlebars of his bike. He wanted to do something, to initiate something between them, some kind of physical contact, but he didn’t know how.</p>
<p>‘I can give you a ride part of the way home,’ Kageyama suggested. ‘If you sit on the back, I can ride your bike to the crossing at the bottom of the mountain.’</p>
<p>‘Really? You’d do that?’</p>
<p>‘Sure,’ he shrugged. ‘I don’t feel like going home yet.’</p>
<p>‘It’s kind of far from your house though and you’d have to walk back.’</p>
<p>‘I don’t mind. It’s alright to walk anyway.’</p>
<p>‘Alright, well in that case, let’s go!’ said Hinata, and he held out his bike to Kageyama.</p>
<p>Kageyama stepped forward and adjusted the seat before climbing on. He pedalled slowly a couple of times before Hinata jumped on the back and they were able to gain momentum. Street lights flicked past overhead and the boys were relieved from the humid summer air by the breeze flowing around them. Wind rushed in Kageyama’s ears. After a moment, he felt hands around his waist and a warm body pressed against his back. Blush crept into his cheeks and he pedalled on, simultaneously determined to keep going and wishing the journey would never end. The flare of affection that had been dormant during their day of training had been lit up again, and, for the first time since their conversation in the park, Hinata initiated more-than-friends contact between them. It wasn’t Kageyama who had reached out first – it was Hinata who closed the gap between them. Kageyama’s heart raced with the combined effort of riding and the feeling of Hinata’s slender arms wrapped around his middle. He had to fight with his mind to stay focussed on riding and not get caught up in the weight and warmth of the other boy’s touch.</p>
<p>When the road up the mountain ran across their path, Kageyama stopped and Hinata let go. They both got off and Kageyama leaned the bike on its stand at the edge of the path. He was slightly breathless from the effort of riding and sweat was beading on his forehead. Ahead of them was the road, to the left was a thicket of trees, and to the right the hill plunged down twenty metres to a stream that babbled at the bottom. A short flight of stone steps was set into the side of the hill, leading to a smaller dirt footpath that ran alongside the stream through an underpass under the mountain road.</p>
<p>‘Thanks for the lift,’ said Hinata, with a toothy grin.</p>
<p>He, too, was slightly pink in the cheeks though he hadn’t been exerting himself. The sight made Kageyama have to force himself not to jump Hinata then and there.</p>
<p>‘It’s okay,’ he said, and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Hinata stepped forward with his face set, looking determined to do whatever it was that he was about to do. He reached his hand out towards Kageyama with a burning look in his eyes, but his focus shattered when a car drove past on the road next to them and momentarily washed them in a glow of headlights. Instead, Hinata grabbed the hem of Kageyama’s t-shirt and pulled him off the path. Kageyama was caught by surprise but allowed himself to be led by Hinata down the stone steps to the path by the stream, hidden from view of the road.</p>
<p>It was slightly cooler by the water and the lush grass that grew on the bank was dotted with sleeping flowers. The stream babbled softly, the sound punctuated only by the chirping of crickets, and the eastern indigo sky was splattered with a smattering of stars where the west still glowed faintly with the last vestiges of the sun. Hinata was standing at arm’s length in front of Kageyama and he looked equally embarrassed and determined. Longing stirred in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach and he knew that Hinata was about to bridge the rift between their relationship as teammates and their more-than-friends relationship. They hadn’t had the time or opportunity to be close since the evening in Sendai, but now, standing there on the bank of the stream by the underpass of the mountain road on a warm evening in August, the air around them changed.</p>
<p>‘Kageyama,’ said Hinata, looking down in embarrassment, ‘I like spending time with you outside of practice.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s cuteness was like a punch to Kageyama’s gut and he squeezed his hands into fists. Hinata’s openness and honesty was in stark contrast to Kageyama’s inability to put his thoughts into words and Kageyama couldn’t help but envy the fearlessness with which Hinata exposed his feelings.</p>
<p>‘You do?’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, it’s nice.’ Hinata grinned sheepishly. ‘And you’ve been nice. I especially had fun in Sendai at Tanabata.’  </p>
<p>‘I wasn’t so nice after the practice match with Seijoh,’ admitted Kageyama. ‘I lost control. I’m… sorry for that.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s mouth twitched into a bigger smile at the words.</p>
<p>‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘You’re a slow learner, but I know you’ll get used to it after a while.’</p>
<p>‘Slow?!’</p>
<p>‘But I don’t mind!’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘I mean, I can be patient. When we started at Karasuno, I thought we’d be enemies; then, I thought we’d be teammates. We are still teammates, but I guess also kind of more than teammates.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t think too much, you’ll hurt yourself.’</p>
<p>‘Shut up, Bakageyama!’</p>
<p>Kageyama just smirked. He sat down on the sloping grass next to the steps and Hinata sat beside him. Kageyama realised that Hinata was blushing. Hinata wordlessly moved his arm and rested his open hand on the ground between them, palm up. When Kageyama realised what Hinata wanted, his heart booted into action. With a sigh of half-real half-exaggerated exasperation, he moved his own hand and laid it over Hinata’s, curling his fingers around the other boy’s that accepted them gratefully.</p>
<p>‘At the training camp,’ said Hinata, quietly, ‘when we – when you touched me and stuff, it kind of freaked me out. It still kind of freaks me out. Why did you want to do that stuff with me anyway?’</p>
<p>Kageyama frowned at the question.</p>
<p>‘I’ve been wondering the same thing,’ he said, truthfully.</p>
<p>‘You could have anyone you wanted; probably no one would say no if you asked them on a date, or confessed to them. I’ve heard girls gossiping about you at school, you know, and I swear that Oikawa guy has some sort of fixation about you. At least he always looks are you in a weird way.’</p>
<p>Kageyama exhaled out of his nose in irritation at the mention of Oikawa.</p>
<p>‘I don’t care about that,’ he said. ‘They don’t interest me.’</p>
<p>‘Well, what’s so different about me then?’</p>
<p>‘You’re extra annoying. And piss me off more than anyone else.’</p>
<p>‘Hey, I’m being serious!’</p>
<p>Hinata shoved Kageyama in the shoulder reproachfully.</p>
<p>‘Okay, okay…’ Kageyama mused. He tried to put his thoughts into cohesive words. ’You get how important volleyball is, probably more than anyone else I know, and you have good athletic ability. Even though you still screw up and make basic mistakes, you’re responsible for us winning a lot of the time.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes shone at the praise. Kageyama tutted in annoyance at the stupidly overjoyed look on Hinata’s face but couldn’t deny the fact that, secretly, it made his stomach flutter knowing he could make the decoy feel so good.</p>
<p>‘Well, what about you?’ he asked roughly, wanting to move the conversation on from feelings. ‘What do you think about this?’</p>
<p>He squeezed his hand slightly around Hinata’s to signify what he was referring to. Hinata’s expression grew thoughtful and he looked out towards the stream.</p>
<p>‘At first I didn’t want to, and it weirded me out a lot,’ he said, slowly. ‘But then, when I was away from school after I twisted my ankle… I don’t know, I missed you, I guess.’</p>
<p>He ended the sentence in a mumble and Kageyama smirked at the sullen look on Hinata’s face. He was obviously not thrilled at admitting the truth of his feelings.</p>
<p>‘The kissing thing made me feel kind of weird though!’ he said, defensively. ‘I guess I still can’t wrap my head around it. Holding hands though and being close to you… it’s nice. It makes me feel good, so I don’t mind it.’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t know how to answer. He felt a heat settling into his cheeks at Hinata’s openness. The boy who wore his heart on his sleeve was never one for subtlety or wordplay. In the evening gloom he could see Hinata’s pulse pounding rapidly under his neck, hammering the truth of the feelings behind the large brown eyes that were gazing innocently through the dark at Kageyama’s face. Before, Kageyama had assumed that Hinata was naïve and too much of an airhead to have more-than-friends feelings for anyone — he didn’t think the boy capable of such introspection — and yet here, sitting side-by-side on the hillside, Hinata’s eyes were shining as they drank in Kageyama’s face. Before he realised what he was doing, Kageyama spoke out loud.</p>
<p>‘Shouyou,’ he murmured, tasting how the word felt in his mouth.</p>
<p>Hinata started and his gaze locked on to Kageyama’s eyes, which were watching him tenderly. Ever since they had kissed, and the fact that Hinata was initiating contact between them now… Kageyama felt like things between them had irrevocably changed. He had been wondering what it would feel like to call Hinata by his first name and the word had just slipped out. He immediately regretted it and kicked himself for not being more in control but the regret slowly faded.</p>
<p>‘Eh?’ said Hinata, in surprise. ‘Why did you say my name?’</p>
<p>‘I just wanted to,’ Kageyama shrugged, trying to keep the conversation light. ‘Is it so weird?’</p>
<p>‘Kind of…’ said Hinata, slowly. ‘Tobio.’</p>
<p>A childish smile was playing about Hinata’s lips.</p>
<p>‘Tobio,’ he said again.</p>
<p>Hinata clearly found it silly to say Kageyama’s first name. He grinned to himself and glanced back up at Kageyama, who was unamused.</p>
<p>‘What’s funny about my name?’</p>
<p>‘Nothing!’ said Hinata, hurriedly. ‘It’s just – it feels weird to say it. Tobio, Tobio…’</p>
<p>‘Cut it out, it’s going to sound weird if you keep repeating it.’</p>
<p>‘…Tobio, To-bi-o, Tobio – <em>ow!</em> Okay, okay I’ll stop!’</p>
<p>Kageyama relaxed the fingers that had gripped Hinata’s hand in a painfully tight grasp and let their hands rest back on the ground between them. There was silence for a moment before Hinata giggled. Kageyama rounded on him, pushing him back into the grass and propping his hands up in a dominating cage on either side of Hinata’s head.</p>
<p>‘Stop laughing at my name!’ he growled.</p>
<p>‘I – I wasn’t!’ Hinata stammered. ‘I swear!’</p>
<p>‘Liar.’</p>
<p>There was a dark edge to Kageyama’s tone that betrayed the sudden animalistic urge that had grown inside of him at their change in position. He thoroughly enjoyed the look of Hinata, small and trembling, locked in the trap of his limbs. Kageyama hesitated for a moment, steeling himself.</p>
<p>‘Was it really so weird to kiss me?’ he asked, peering through his dark fringe.</p>
<p>‘Kind of,’ Hinata squeaked, obviously afraid of what Kageyama might do.</p>
<p>‘Maybe you just need to try again,' said Kageyama. </p>
<p>‘I – I don’t think it’s something I could ever get used to.’</p>
<p>‘Should we practice?’</p>
<p>‘Um, I don’t know…’</p>
<p>Hinata looked uncomfortable and, despite how fiercely the animal in Kageyama’s chest growled with desire, he had enough self-awareness to not push Hinata, at least for now.</p>
<p>‘Fine,’ he said, and sat up straight again. ‘I won’t force you.’</p>
<p>He looked back over towards the stream and missed the look of surprise that flitted over Hinata’s face. </p>
<p>‘Why’d you give up so easily?’ he asked, sitting up, too. ‘I thought you’d make me.’</p>
<p>‘I’m not that much of a creep,’ said Kageyama, defensively.</p>
<p>‘Well…’ Hinata bit his bottom lip before looking up at Kageyama with wide eyes. ‘You can kiss me if you want to. Just once.’</p>
<p>Kageyama looked at where Hinata was tapping his forefingers together in a timid way as he watched Kageyama for his reaction. Kageyama couldn’t deny that he wanted to kiss Hinata very much. He had been thinking about it in every spare moment since they had kissed on the rooftop carpark in Sendai.</p>
<p>‘If you’re sure,’ he murmured.</p>
<p>Kageyama covered Hinata’s hand with his own again and ducked his head down as Hinata leaned up. Their lips met between them and Kageyama had to squeeze Hinata’s hand to keep hold of himself. <em>It’s just a kiss</em>, he told himself. <em>No need to lose control</em>. The supple contours of Hinata’s lips moulded against the shape of Kageyama’s own and Kageyama inhaled deeply. The urge to grab Hinata and let his lips run wild threatened to overwhelm Kageyama but he had to stay in control. He had to show Hinata that this was okay and that he would respect Hinata’s wishes. He sat still and allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of Hinata's lips, his pounding heart, their closeness. </p>
<p>After a moment that was much too short, Hinata moved away, and Kageyama’s heart leapt at the sight of Hinata smiling.</p>
<p>‘That wasn’t so scary,’ said Hinata, sounding mildly surprised.</p>
<p>Kageyama scowled.</p>
<p>‘Nice to know that kissing me isn’t the worst thing in the world.’</p>
<p>Hinata only sniggered and leaned forward again, catching Kageyama by surprise with another kiss that wasn’t nearly as hesitant as before. Hinata kissed him once, twice, three times, moving his lips clumsily against Kageyama’s. With trepidation, Kageyama felt the air around them grow heavy with the tension of electricity, and the animal in his chest began to purr. <em>Stay in control</em>, he told himself, squeezing his eyes shut. <em>Keep breathing, you’ve got this</em>. He felt a very particular kind of heat drip down his body to settle at the pit of his stomach at the feeling of Hinata kissing him. <em>Shit</em>, he thought through the haze of longing that quickly turned to lust that clouded his brain, <em>this is bad</em>. It was one thing when he was the one instigating everything and Hinata was just going along with it, but if Hinata was actually putting himself out there and making the first move… Kageyama was too far gone to care just how far gone he was. He put his hand on Hinata's waist and pulled the decoy gently closer. He wanted to close every gap of space between them until he would feel the rise and fall of Hinata's breathing chest pressed against his. He wanted to feel the weight of Hinata lying on top of him, to taste the sweetness of his tongue, but Kageyama tempered his desire. For now, the tenderness of Hinata's lips against his was enough. </p>
<p>‘Alright, time to go!’ said Hinata, and he leaned back and got to his feet.</p>
<p>‘R-Right,’ said Kageyama, caught off-guard.</p>
<p>By the smile on Hinata’s face, Kageyama guessed that everything was alright and the decoy was merely ready to go home.</p>
<p>‘Thanks for riding my bike all this way, Tobio,’ said Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Don’t call me that,’ hissed Kageyama. ‘It sounds sarcastic.’</p>
<p>‘I wasn’t being sarcastic!’</p>
<p>‘I know but still, it’s annoying, <em>Shouyou</em>.’</p>
<p>‘Hey, that was definitely sarcastic!’</p>
<p>‘See how it sounds?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, but you were being sarcastic on purpose.’</p>
<p>They argued as they made their way up the stone steps to where they had left Hinata’s bike on the path.</p>
<p>‘Okay, I’ll see you later, <em>Ka-ge-ya-ma</em>!’ said Hinata, putting extra emphasis on his surname.</p>
<p>Kageyama grit his teeth at the decoy’s cheek and put his hands into his pockets.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, see you, Hinata,’ he said.</p>
<p>Their dynamic shifted so often between affectionate and bickering that Kageyama found it difficult to figure out if he liked or hated the decoy. In that moment, however, his wrath was dampened by the sight of Hinata’s shining face as he waved and mounted his bike. <em>He's an idiot</em>, he thought, but there was no viciousness behind it. He watched with curious fondness as Hinata rode off to the mountain road. It was a warm summer night and Kageyama Tobio’s head was filled with the sound of his name coloured in the lilt of Hinata’s voice. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again, thank you for reading! I'm sorry for the self-indulgence of this chapter, I'm a big slice of life fan and can't help writing the characters doing nothing but enjoying summer evenings even if it does nothing to further the plot. I also somewhat prefer reading dialogue-heavy fics compared to more inner-monologue-driven ones which is why there's a lot of Hinata and Kageyama just talking casually for no real reason other than developing their relationship. I hope it's not too bothersome and that you get some enjoyment from my story-telling style. I promise there's plot buried in there somewhere amid the fluffy text! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Tsukihama Beach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone on the volleyball team knew that it was only a matter of time before the next training camp was announced. In the handful of times they saw Takeda-sensei during training, he was so obviously trying to be ambiguous about the topic that they were all convinced he was organising something. They trained long and hard during the day and the nights were too hot to sleep. During training, Kageyama didn’t have the time to spare much thought for Hinata; they were too focussed on practice, too involved in the game and perfecting their skills to waste time on whatever tension might be between them. They always walked home with the others past Sakanoshita Shop, then Hinata and Kageyama would walk to the vending machines where the complacency of the day would shatter and they would share the briefest of kisses before saying goodbye. It was a routine Kageyama was committed to repeat and yet could never get used to. His perception of Hinata went through the rounds during the day: from Hinata the Teammate, to Hinata the Person, to Hinata the Partner; the same cycle every day. He privately enjoyed spending time with Hinata alongside their teammates, chatting and hanging out like normal with them all for hours, and then leaving and getting to see a side of Hinata that no one else could see. It added an extra thrill when he saw blush creep into Hinata’s cheeks and the vestiges of careful platonic distance melted away. Kageyama would check that the area was deserted before brushing a light kiss over Hinata’s lips. Then, they would exchange formal goodbyes and part ways. Kageyama regretted seeing Hinata go every time but he knew that, at least for now, distance was for the best. He had to keep his head and their relationship free from complications at this time of intense training. Volleyball would always hold the highest priority in his heart.</p><p>One afternoon, the moment they had all been waiting for finally happened. Takeda-sensei was visiting and he and Coach Ukai came over from where they had been chatting with Shimizu and Yachi. At their request, the players dropped what they were doing and gathered around.</p><p>‘Alright everyone, I’ve got some news!’ said Takeda-sensei, and he seemed barely able to contain his excitement at what he was about to announce. ‘It’s short notice and I apologise for that but it only just worked out this morning – the club has managed to raise the funds for a trip, and Coach Ukai and I have agreed that, if you would all like to, we could have a training camp next week at Tsukihama Beach on Miyato Island to prepare for the October Preliminaries.’</p><p>The last few words after “Tsukihama Beach” were drowned out by uproarious exclamations of excitement from the team members. Takeda-sensei, obviously chuffed at the positive response, waved his hands to calm them down.</p><p>‘It’s meant to be warm next week and you still have a little bit of time before the summer holiday ends, so we thought it would be nice to get out of the gym for training. I’m trying to get in contact with our friends from other schools to join us but we’ll have to see if anyone else can attend.’</p><p>‘You’re so awesome, Take-chan!’ sobbed Tanaka.</p><p>‘Takeda-sensei, thank you for organising this!’ said Daichi, speaking formally on behalf of the team.</p><p>‘Does that mean we get to play beach volleyball?’ asked Nishinoya, the light of excitement blazing in his eyes and his hands balled into fists.</p><p>‘I’ve never played beach volleyball, have you?’ Hinata was asking Yamaguchi.</p><p>‘No, but I’ve watched matches on TV,’ replied Yamaguchi. ‘Do you think it’s really different?’</p><p>‘It must be hard to run when the ground is so soft.’</p><p>‘You’ll have to wear a mouth-guard, eh, Noya,’ Tanaka said to Nishinoya, nudging him in the side with his elbow. ‘I imagine after all those dives you’ll end up with a mouth full of sand.’</p><p>‘Are you kidding me?’ laughed Nishinoya. ‘Beach volleyball is the best! I used to play in junior high.’</p><p>‘Really?’ said Hinata, eyes wide. ‘That’s so cool! Teach me, Noya-san!’</p><p>‘You’ll be really good at it, Shouyou, I bet!’ said Nishinoya, with a grin.</p><p>‘So I get to spend all my free time with you guys, lucky me,’ drawled Tsukishima, sarcastically.</p><p>‘Everyone loves the beach,’ said Tanaka, waving his hand dismissively. ‘It’s a fact. Once you’re there, you’ll have nothing to complain about.’</p><p>‘Are you kidding me? Tsukishima always finds something to complain about,’ said Kageyama, with a scowl.</p><p>‘Only because it’s so easy,’ sighed Tsukishima.</p><p>‘The beach is different,’ Tanaka reasoned. ‘There’s nothing to dislike. Warm water, sunshine, barbeques –’</p><p>‘Girls in bikinis!’ added Nishinoya.</p><p>‘– girls in bikinis,’ Tanaka agreed.</p><p>‘As it stands,’ Takeda-sensei continued, in a voice loud enough to get everyone’s attention again, ‘we will be away for three nights. I will send out emails to your parents and give you all more information once I receive confirmation from other schools that might be joining us.’</p><p>‘Thank you!’ chorused the team.</p><p>‘Alright, that’s enough for today,’ called Ukai. ‘Good job everyone, let’s clean up and call it a day.’</p><p>‘Right!’</p><p>As it turned out, the only team to join them would be Nekoma, which came as a surprise as they were the only team invited from outside the prefecture. Apparently, Nekoma had been blessed with numerous generous donations and Coach Nekomata decided to allow the team a more free-spirited training camp after a more intensive one they had held earlier in the month. Karasuno team counted down the days to the training camp until it finally arrived and they piled onto the bus to head for Miyato Island. Hinata sat down beside Kageyama seemingly without a second thought and Kageyama stared pointedly out of the window in an attempt to ignore the fact that their knees were touching for the duration of the trip.</p><p>The gym Takeda-sensei had reserved for them was bigger than their previous trip as it belonged to the local recreation centre. It was equipped with three indoor volleyball courts, a squash court, tennis court and personal gym that the students were allowed to use after hours. It was also down the road from their accommodation, which was modest at best but vastly improved in the minds of the team members by the large wooden deck at the back of the building on which was set a long outdoor table for meals in the warm evening air. The small rooms and lack of air conditioning were also made up by the fact that the beach was a three-minute walk away. Kageyama privately thought that there was something comforting about the older, more traditional style of the building, with its wood panelled ceilings, tatami mats and sliding doors.</p><p>‘Reminds me of home!’ said Hinata brightly, as he took in his surroundings.</p><p>‘The rooms here are quite small so let’s accommodate in groups of four,’ said Daichi. ‘There are two extra rooms upstairs as well. Pick where you want to sleep and leave your stuff there so we can head out to the gym.’</p><p>‘Where do you want to sleep, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata, turning to the setter.</p><p>‘I don’t care,’ replied Kageyama. ‘Maybe upstairs. There are only two rooms so it’ll probably be quieter.’</p><p>‘Good point!’</p><p>Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were already depositing their things in one room on the second floor and Hinata and Kageyama decided to join them and leave the third-years to the room next-door. The cramped size was relieved somewhat by the large south-facing windows that gave them a view of the cape. Hinata’s eyes widened as he gazed out at the endless sea that was shimmering aqua blue in the mid-morning sun.</p><p>Karasuno had arrived well before Nekoma who were due to arrive in the afternoon after their long trip from the capital. The Karasuno team members were given an hour to explore their accommodation and get changed before they were to meet in the gym to warm up. They trained for the hours until the gym doors opened and the Nekoma team stood flanking a smiling Coach Nekomata. They were clad in their typical red tracksuits with white details and looked impressive when standing grouped together. Their captain, Kuroo, had his arms crossed over his chest and was surveying the Karasuno players with a smirk on his face; at his side, their setter, Kozume, was peering through his fringe.</p><p>‘It’s good to see you again, Coach Nekomata, Coach Naoi!’ said Takeda-sensei, bowing to the two Nekoma coaches. ‘Thank you for coming all this way to join our training camp.’</p><p>‘Not at all!’ said Nekomata, smiling jovially.</p><p>‘It was a good excuse to visit the beach for a few days and catch up with my old buddy,’ grinned Naoi, shaking Coach Ukai's hand.</p><p>‘It’s important to get out of the city every once in a while and have a breath of fresh sea air,’ Nekomata agreed. ‘It does wonders for team spirit and we couldn’t pass up an opportunity to see how much progress you’ve made since the last time we met.’</p><p>He smiled at Ukai and Takeda-sensei with the glint of competition gleaming in his eye. Ukai crossed his arms over his chest with satisfaction.</p><p>‘You’ll get to see our progress alright,’ he said.</p><p>‘And you’ll get to see ours,’ said Nekomata.</p><p>Hinata and Kozume immediately gravitated towards one another and Kageyama overheard Hinata telling the Nekoma setter about their practice match with Aoba Johsai.</p><p>‘Alright, Karasuno, let’s finish up practice here and head back to the guesthouse,’ called Ukai, over the din of chatter that had started since Nekoma’s arrival. ‘After lunch, we can head down to the beach and set up the beach volleyball courts.’</p><p>They all shared an excellent lunch provided by the guesthouse owner and his wife, who seemed glad but a little frazzled and having to provide for and accommodate such a large number of hungry teenaged students. The long table outside was covered by dishes and crockery which were soon emptied in everyone’s eagerness to go to the beach. Once they thanked the guesthouse owners, they headed down to the shore. The teams mingled on their way down. The Nekoma first-years swamped Hinata good-naturedly and Kageyama watched with mild annoyance as Lev and Inuoka bounced off Hinata’s shoulders and told him stories of their training sessions. The third-years from both teams updated each other on the practice matches they had participated in, and Kuroo sought out Tsukishima and the pair walked well behind the rest, deep in conversation.</p><p>When they arrived, everyone collectively gasped at the sight that greeted them. The water was a rich aqua hue, glittering in the summer sun; fluffy white clouds skittered across a periwinkle sky and beach-goers splashed about in the water or lounged under coloured umbrellas on the sand.</p><p>‘Awesome!’ chorused Hinata, Kageyama, Inuoka and Lev simultaneously.</p><p>‘Amazing!’ said Tanaka, Kuroo, Yaku and Nishinoya.</p><p>There were some beach volleyball courts located near the changing rooms and Takeda-sensei, dressed in a hideous floral Hawaiian shirt and wide-brimmed sunhat, set up a number of beach umbrellas and towels in the sand nearby, away from the main recreation area of the beach to avoid bothering the children who were building sandcastles and the elderly who were trying to relax.</p><p>‘Don’t forget sunscreen!’ he called to the teams, who were too rowdy and excited to listen.</p><p>‘Oi, Karasuno!’ bellowed Daichi. ‘Put sunscreen on like Takeda-sensei says!’</p><p>‘Right!’ chorused Karasuno team.</p><p>Coach Nekomata and Coach Naoi set up Base Nekoma on the other side of the courts and the students filtered in and out of the changing rooms as they got changed into their swimwear and readied their belongings. Tears streamed down the faces of Tanaka, Nishinoya and Yamamoto as Shimizu exited the changing rooms in a dark navy bikini dotted with white polka dots. She politely but firmly denied their offers to help carry her clothes bag, lay down her towel, set up her umbrella, put sunscreen on her back, and fill her waterbottle. Coach Ukai left to pick up the nets and balls from the recreation centre, and, in the meantime, the students were able to enjoy the beach at their leisure.  </p><p>‘Do you think the water’s cold?’ asked Yamaguchi, looking out at the shimmering blue with trepidation.</p><p>‘Who cares? I’m going in!’ said Kageyama, with his face set.</p><p>‘Me too!’ said Hinata.</p><p>A bunch of the Nekoma students were already running across the sand towards the surf. Kageyama started towards the water himself, noticing that Hinata was doing the same, and the pair gradually sped up until they were yelling and sprinting full-tilt at the waves. Kageyama plunged into the water and dived headfirst under the surface. The water sent a cold tremor shooting up his limbs at the first contact but he quickly got used to the temperature.</p><p>‘I won!’ sang Hinata brightly, as Kageyama resurfaced and shook his fringe out of his eyes with a flick of his head.</p><p>‘You wish,’ said Kageyama, and he splashed Hinata in the face before swimming away.</p><p>The others had followed suit until the water was broiling with the splashing movements of 20-odd teenaged boys. Nishinoya was climbing up Asahi like a squirrel on a tree, pushing the ace’s confused head down towards the water as he clambered onto his shoulders.</p><p>‘Come on!’ cried Nishinoya, once he was firmly seated atop Asahi’s shoulders. ‘I bet none of you could knock me down!’</p><p>‘Kageyama!’ hissed Hinata, wading over frantically with a gleeful look on his face. ‘Kageyama, we have to try knock him off!’</p><p>‘Why would we do that?’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p><p>He was only really pretending to be disinterested because he enjoyed to see Hinata desperately try and convince him to do things that he really wanted to do.</p><p>‘We just have to! I bet we could! Come on, let’s do it, let me on your shoulders!’</p><p>‘AAAAAAAARGH!!!’</p><p>A wave of foamy seawater splashed into their faces as Yamamoto, who had Tanaka perched on his shoulders, bounded past them with Tanaka roaring a battle cry. Asahi instinctively backed off, looking intimidated and absolutely like he didn’t want to fight, but Nishinoya and Tanaka locked arms and tried to push the other over.</p><p>‘Come on, we can take on the winner!’ said Hinata hurriedly, and he grabbed Kageyama by the wrist in his urgency.</p><p>Kageyama felt the tightness of the grip around his wrist. Then, he imagined what the grip of Hinata’s thighs would feel like around his neck. <em>Shit</em>, he thought. <em>Don’t think about that</em>. But his curiosity was piqued and he couldn’t resist the blazing look in Hinata’s eyes.</p><p>‘For Kiyoko-saaan!’ bellowed Tanaka, with a fierce twist of his body that sent Nishinoya and Asahi toppling into the sea. ‘AAAAaaargh!’</p><p>‘Fine,’ said Kageyama, watching them with faraway eyes.</p><p>He knelt down into the water until the surface was just below his chin. He felt warm hands come to rest on either of his shoulders.</p><p>‘Duck down under the water and I’ll climb on,’ demanded Hinata.</p><p>‘<em>Tsk</em>, don’t tell me what to do, just climb on already!’</p><p>‘Well, I can’t if you’re above the water!’</p><p>‘Stupid Hinata…’</p><p>Kageyama took a deep breath and dipped down under the surface. Hinata clambered clumsily onto him, hooking either of his legs over Kageyama’s shoulders, and Kageyama grabbed him by the knees as he stood up straight. Water streamed down Kageyama’s face and chest as he took a breath of air and the weight of Hinata bore down on him.</p><p>‘Oi, let go of my hair, dumbass!’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata was gripping Kageyama’s fringe as if for dear life in an attempt to keep his balance.</p><p>‘Sorry!’</p><p>‘Relax, I won’t let you fall.’</p><p>Hinata relaxed and Kageyama steadied himself. He could feel the slippery shift and flex of Hinata’s thigh muscles on either side of his neck as well as the heat and weight of the boy’s body pressing against him. He couldn’t deny that a hunger stirred in the depths of his chest at the sight of his own fingers digging into the supple pale skin of Hinata’s knees.</p><p>Tanaka and Yamamoto turned to face their new challengers.</p><p>‘Bring it!’ roared Yamamoto, to the chagrin of Kuroo and Yaku who were looking on.</p><p>The flame of competition flickered in Kageyama’s chest and he launched himself forward through the water. It didn’t take long for Tanaka and Yamamoto’s combined height to bear down upon a flailing Hinata until he and Kageyama were sent crashing into the water. A roar of triumph from Tanaka and Yamamoto, and guffaws from the onlookers, were cut off as Kageyama’s head plunged under the surface.</p><p>‘Oi, Ukai’s back with the nets!’ called Sugawara, from where he was standing on the beach.</p><p>‘<em>Yes</em>, let’s play!’ trilled Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama had been itching to play an actual match against another team. For so long, they had only been practicing amongst themselves – which was all fine and well – but versing another team always brought him the thrill he sought when playing volleyball.</p><p>They all headed back to the shore where Shimizu, Yachi, Takeda-sensei and Coach Naoi were tying the nets up to the poles.</p><p>‘Who here has played beach volleyball before?’ asked Coach Ukai, addressing the Karasuno and Nekoma players.</p><p>Nishinoya raised his hand, as did Nekoma’s vice captain.</p><p>‘Only a couple of you…’ mused Ukai. ‘There are some differences you’ll have to get used to in order to play competitively, but let’s keep in mind that these are practice matches so you all have time to get used to the difference between playing on the beach instead of on an actual court. First of all, you’ve all probably noticed the courts are smaller. That’s because you would all quit out of exhaustion after running through the sand if the court was the size of an indoor court.’</p><p>A murmur of interest rippled through the players.</p><p>‘Another important difference is that instead of playing with six players per side, beach volleyball only has two per side,’ continued Ukai. ‘Which is why we’ve booked all four of these courts, so that sixteen of you can play at any one time. There’re twenty players in total so we’ll have to rotate.’</p><p>‘Kageyama, let’s be a pair and try to beat the others,’ said Hinata, turning to Kageyama. ‘I wanna try our quick with a beach volleyball.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded once and Hinata grinned with satisfaction. The light of competition was blazing in his eyes.</p><p>Coach Ukai went on to explain the differences in volleyball size and weight, and differences in scoring. Then, they all split into pairs and Shimizu, with the help of Takeda-sensei and Coach Naoi, drew up a rotation chart. Hinata and Kageyama would play against Kuroo and Kozume, and the loser was to sit out the next match. Hinata’s yellow swimming shorts were shining and his salt-encrusted hair was standing on end after drying in the sun. Kageyama tossed the ball to himself a few times, feeling the heft and size in his hands, and wondered about how they would beat Kuroo and Kozume, who were formidable opponents.</p><p>‘Let’s make this an easy-going match so that we can get used to playing in the sand,’ said Kuroo sweetly, with his arms open in a gesture of good will. ‘No pressure, guys.’</p><p>Kageyama and Hinata both narrowed their eyes. Kenma smiled shyly at Hinata.</p><p>‘I won’t hold back,’ he said, in his usual quiet voice.</p><p>‘Good!’ grinned Hinata. ‘Neither will I!’</p><p>‘Oi Hinata,’ said Kageyama, waving the boy over. ‘Since it’s only the two of us, let’s try to score as many points as we can to make up for you missing the receives.’</p><p>‘Hey, I won’t miss the receives!’ said Hinata, gritting his teeth furiously.</p><p>‘Yeah, you will, but it doesn’t matter. They’re a strong pair but we can do our quick freely without worrying about getting blocked too much if you’re fast enough.’</p><p>‘I will be.’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes were blazing with that fierce determination that always accompanied his desire to win. Kageyama inhaled slowly and tore his eyes away from Hinata’s face before he did something out of his control.</p><p>‘Alright, let’s start!’ said Kuroo.</p><p>Hinata took up a receiving stance.</p><p>‘Kageyama, nice serve!’</p><p>Kageyama quickly discovered that he loved that he was playing with Hinata and no one else. He loved that every move that Hinata made on the court was either in response to him or towards him. They played with extraordinary flow, despite the sand slowing Hinata down and causing a few missed spikes, and more than once Kageyama was gripped with the desire to grab Hinata and yell praise at him or wrap his arms around him in a crushing embrace. Despite their monster quicks, Kuroo’s blocking and Kozume’s intuition proved more successful than Hinata’s faulty receives, and he and Kageyama lost marginally.</p><p>‘Sorry, that was my fault,’ said Hinata, looking very put-out.</p><p>‘Yeah, it was your fault!’ snapped Kageyama. ‘I told you your shoddy defence would be crappy in a two-on-two match!’</p><p>‘I’m sorry!’</p><p>Kageyama sighed. Despite the truth behind his words, he felt bad about blaming Hinata.</p><p>‘I mistimed some tosses too, I’m not used to playing on sand,’ he admitted. ‘Come on, let’s wait for the next game with the others.’</p><p>After they played for the afternoon and each team had played against one another, the teams were free to practice together or enjoy the beach. The sun sank slowly towards the horizon, turning the sky a rich golden hue, and Kageyama helped to pack up the nets and volleyballs. Then, he went to find Hinata to tell him that it was time to head back to the guesthouse.</p><p>‘Oi, we’re leaving,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>Tanaka looked up blearily from where he had been lying with his eyes closed. He had been relaxing while Nishinoya, Sugawara and Hinata slowly buried him in sand from his chest to his knees while chatting animatedly about the differences between normal volleyball and beach volleyball.</p><p>‘We have to go back now?’ asked Hinata, disappointedly.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama, nodding once. ‘Ukai said dinner’s soon.’</p><p>‘Dinner?!’</p><p>They all leapt up, Tanaka doing so in an avalanche of sand, and ran over to where their belongings were to get ready to leave.  </p><p>‘You got a head start!’ Hinata complained, shoving Kageyama in the shoulder.</p><p>‘You’re just slow,’ grinned Kageyama.</p><p>In the evening, they ate together at the long outdoor table and chatted late into the evening before heading to bathe. There was something about the heat, their day at the beach, the light, conversational atmosphere, and the fact that his knee was touching Hinata’s under the table that put Kageyama in a strange mood. He felt almost voyeuristic. After eating, he felt like he had to do something to bridge the gap between them. He had fought the urge to touch Hinata so many times throughout the day that he felt like he would burst and do it in front of everyone if he couldn't be alone with the decoy.</p><p>Students started to leave one by one to the baths or to make their beds, and Kageyama turned to Hinata.</p><p>‘I think I left something at the beach,’ he said, painfully aware of how transparent the excuse sounded even in his own ears. ‘Come look for it with me.’</p><p>It wasn’t a question.</p><p>‘O-Okay,’ said Hinata, sounding perplexed.</p><p>Kageyama got to his feet, internally kicking himself at his lack of tact, and went through the guesthouse and out the front door. Hinata followed Kageyama outside and it wasn’t until they got a few metres down the road from the guesthouse that Kageyama stopped and turned to face Hinata. It was dark out by now and the quiet street was empty.</p><p>‘Your excuses are getting worse and worse,’ said Hinata, with a sly grin. ‘You can just tell me if you wanna go somewhere alone, you know.’</p><p>There must have been a telling hunger in Kageyama’s face that put his intentions on display but Kageyama couldn’t care. He had had enough of subtlety, of waiting, of tiptoeing around the opportune moment. They were outside, yes, but it was dark and there was no one around. He had to act now. Kageyama stepped forward towards Hinata, who stared up at him with colour rising steadily in his cheeks. He reached out and took hold of Hinata’s hand and the feeling was a familiar one which eased the frantic thoughts whirring around his head. It brought him down to reality and the fact that Hinata was standing in front of him in the shade of a thicket of bamboo watching him with wide eyes and dilated pupils.</p><p>‘I wanted to kiss you today,’ said Kageyama, lowly. ‘At the beach.’</p><p>Hinata’s expression shifted into a shining smile as he surveyed Kageyama bearing over him. There was a hint of smugness in his face that Kageyama found thoroughly irritating but desire for the decoy quelled the admonishing words that rose in the back of his throat.</p><p>‘You were thinking about that?’ asked Hinata. ‘Even with the others around?’</p><p>‘Well, not when we were playing volleyball,’ admitted Kageyama.</p><p>‘You really have a two-track mind.’</p><p>Kageyama tutted at Hinata’s words and let go of his hand, but Hinata grabbed his hand again before the setter could turn away.</p><p>‘Kiss me, then,’ said Hinata, and his eyes were set despite the colour in his cheeks. ‘There's no one around and it’s dark so even if someone comes we’d notice before they saw us.’</p><p>‘I’m not gonna do it if you’re only humouring me!’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘That's not the reason,’ said Hinata, stubbornly. ‘I - I want you to, okay?’</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes held Hinata’s, searching for the lie that wasn’t there, and he felt his breath catch in his chest.</p><p>‘Seriously?’ he said, lowly.</p><p>‘Yeah, seriously,’ said Hinata. ‘What, is it so weird?’</p><p>‘You were the one that said that kissing me is weird,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘I guess I’m starting to come around.’</p><p>Hinata’s words ended in a whisper as Kageyama lowered his face so that his fringe fell into his eyes, and he pressed his lips against Hinata’s parted ones. Relief jumbled into lust ballooned into Kageyama’s chest and he felt as if the planets aligned and everything fell away until the only thing in this world was Hinata and his lips and the points of contact that glowed between them. The memory of Hinata’s thighs wrapped around the back of his neck returned to the fore of Kageyama’s mind and heat flowed through his veins. The platonic façade of their relationship shattered as Kageyama wrapped his arms around Hinata’s waist and deepened the kiss. Distantly, he could hear the sound of chatter and laughter from the others that were still out on the guesthouse deck but it barely registered in his head. Hinata’s physical presence dominated every one of his senses so that he was numb to the rest of the world around them.</p><p>He parted his lips and tasted Hinata's mouth under his with the tip of his tongue. Hinata parted his lips in kind, allowing Kageyama to press his tongue against the decoy’s which caused a drawn-out sigh to escape from Hinata’s throat. At that sound, the heat in Kageyama’s stomach grew brighter. That animal in his chest that thirsted for the decoy bared its fangs and took hold of Kageyama’s sense of reason. Hinata’s hands smoothed shakily up Kageyama's shoulders until they wound around his neck, drawing the setter in closer to their embrace which only encouraged Kageyama further. Kageyama’s hand moved down Hinata’s lower back to rest against his hip, where he laced his fingers underneath the hem of Hinata’s shirt to touch the heat of his soft and supple skin. Kageyama thoroughly enjoyed the way that Hinata’s body responded to his touch: the small hitches in his breath, the tightening of his grip, the sighs that poured from between his lips. He wanted to draw more from Hinata’s body and to see just what he could make Hinata do with his hands and mouth alone. He moved back to look at Hinata’s face and the boy was a beautiful, flushed mess that looked up at him with eyes shining. There was that usual look of awestruck innocence but there was also a fiery flicker that Hinata usually only showed on the volleyball court.</p><p>‘I wanted to do that all day,’ said Kageyama, his voice rough and breathless.</p><p>Hinata nodded dazedly, seemingly lost for words. Kageyama took the opportunity to kiss him again, inhaling deeply before wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and moving his lips to the side of Hinata’s neck. Kageyama felt trembling fingers knot into his hair as he pressed biting kisses against the hot skin there and his senses went wild at the sound of soft sighs escaping from between Hinata’s lips.</p><p>‘K-Kageyama,’ murmured Hinata, breathlessly. ‘We should go back, before they notice. We’re taking too long.’</p><p>‘Don’t wanna,’ said Kageyama, his lips moving against Hinata’s neck as he spoke.</p><p>He wasn’t ready to go back. He felt like he never would be. There was soft rustling noise as Hinata leaned back into the thicket of bamboo behind them. Kageyama took Hinata’s face in his hands and straightened up slightly to look at him. Hinata’s eyes were shimmering in the shadows and there was a crimson tinge in his cheeks. Why did Kageyama want to kiss this boy so much?  What was so special about him that drove Kageyama mad and occupied his thoughts all day? Kageyama recalled the thrill that ran through him every time Hinata scored a point, every time he completed their attacks and brought Kageyama’s set-ups to fruition. The memories of their day’s little victories against their opponents only made his affection glow the brighter.</p><p>‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ asked Hinata, timidly.</p><p>‘Like what?’</p><p>‘So intensely, it’s spooky!’</p><p>Kageyama blew air out of his nose in irritation and let his hands fall from Hinata’s face.</p><p>‘Come on,’ he said, turning to go. ‘Let’s go back to the room.’</p><p>‘B-But Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are in there!’ protested Hinata.</p><p>‘So?’</p><p>‘So, we can’t do stuff like this in there.’</p><p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow.</p><p>‘Is that a problem for you?’ he asked. ‘That I wouldn’t be able to kiss you anymore if we go back?’</p><p>‘Well…’ Hinata twisted the hem of his shirt and avoided Kageyama’s eye as blush rose in his cheeks.</p><p>‘Come on,’ said Kageyama, reluctantly. ‘The last thing I want is for the whole of Nekoma to find out I enjoy kissing you.’ </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Something No One Else Can Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following day they played volleyball at the beach and practice matches in the gym for longer into the afternoon. Compared to Nekoma, Karasuno had a lot to learn but the blazing drive of motivation never dimmed no matter how many times they were beaten. The evening was particularly warm and cicadas whined as the two volleyball teams enjoyed a shared meal on the tables on the deck outside. Strings of small paper lanterns had been wound around the railing and set to adorn the sliding door that led into the guesthouse, and the gentle yellow light combined with the humidity and delicious home-cooked food set them all in a relaxed mood. They all sat out long after the meal was finished, chatting in groups or just enjoying the atmosphere of the late summer evening after a day of sports at the beach.</p><p>Kageyama was seated at the end of the table that had slowly emptied over the course of an hour as some students helped clean up and some of the third-years went to bathe. He was absently watching Hinata, who was sitting up on the deck railing playing some kind of hand game with Inuoka. As Kageyama watched, Kozume approached Hinata and started speaking to him and Inuoka ran off to where Yaku was showing some of the others a video on his phone. Kageyama couldn’t hear what was being said between Kozume and Hinata but Hinata’s face lit up and something he said made Kozume laugh. As he laughed, the Nekoma setter touched Hinata’s arm. Kageyama frowned as jealousy reared its ugly head inside him.</p><p>‘It’s sweet, isn’t it?’ said a lazy voice from behind him.</p><p>Kuroo was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, watching the interaction between Hinata and Kozume unfold.</p><p>‘Sweet?’ said Kageyama, doubtfully.</p><p>He turned back to look at the boys, feeling oddly anxious. What was so sweet about it?</p><p>‘I’ve known Kenma since we were kids and I’ve never seen him laugh as easily as he does with your number ten,’ said Kuroo. There was a wistful smile on his face. ‘He mentioned this training camp three times before we came – <em>three times</em>, can you believe it? There’s only one person I know that can get him so riled up.’</p><p>Kageyama felt a dull ache like a punch to the gut rack through his body. A hollowness welled behind his eyes as he watched Hinata and Kozume as if through two dark tunnels. Hinata was explaining something animatedly, his hands flailing about as Kozume looked on with a shy smile playing about his lips.</p><p>‘What are you saying?’ Kageyama asked the Nekoma captain, and his voice sounded lifeless in his own ears.</p><p>‘I’m just saying it’s sweet,’ shrugged Kuroo. ‘They suit each other, don’t you think?’</p><p><em>No</em>, thought Kageyama immediately. <em>No, they don’t suit each other. Kozume looks nothing like me</em>. An existential anxiety gripped his heart like a metal fist as he saw the familiar looks that Hinata usually gave him given freely to somebody else.</p><p>‘Does it make you jealous?’ asked Kuroo, and Kageyama whipped around to glare at where Kuroo was smirking slyly down at him.</p><p>‘No,’ said Kageyama, too quickly. ‘Why would it make me jealous?’</p><p>‘Oh, I just always thought there was something oddly possessive about the way you treat your decoy. You two are always together.’</p><p>‘You and Kozume-san are always together,’ retorted Kageyama, but Kuroo just smiled.</p><p>‘Yep, he’s mine,’ he said, fondly.</p><p>The phrasing piqued Kageyama’s interest and his eyes darted to Kuroo’s face and away again.</p><p>‘What do you mean, he’s “yours”?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Oh, you know how it is,’ said Kuroo, waving his hand vaguely. ‘You click with someone and you know that you’ll always be together. “Companion” sounds stupid but I’m sure you know what I mean.’</p><p>In fact, Kageyama had no idea what Kuroo meant. Kuroo sat down at the table opposite Kageyama, though Kageyama was facing away from him towards where Hinata and Kozume were talking. He thought about Sugawara and Daichi and the fact that they were dating and wondered if a similar dynamic was what Kuroo was referring to.</p><p>‘You’re not talking about a relationship, are you?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘I don’t know if I’d use that word,’ laughed Kuroo. ‘Maybe something but probably not quite to that degree.’</p><p>‘Then, doesn’t it bother you that Kozume-san is acting like that with Hinata?’</p><p>‘Not at all. I like to see him happy and excited about something for once. I know where we stand so I have nothing against your decoy; in fact, you could say I’m almost grateful for him. And Kenma never got upset when I was spending time with Glasses, so…’</p><p>Kageyama’s head whipped around again to stare at Kuroo, who had his elbow on the table and was resting his chin in his hand. Instead of watching Hinata and Kozume, his gaze had drifted over to where Tsukishima was lying on the long bench at the other end of the table opposite Yamaguchi who was flicking leisurely through a magazine. It seemed as if Kuroo was being intentionally vague about what he was talking about. Kageyama felt too embarrassed to ask for clarification unless he misunderstood but did Kuroo mean what Kageyama thought he meant?</p><p>‘Huh?’ he said. ‘Why would Kozume-san be upset? You were only practicing blocks, weren’t you?’</p><p>‘Well, that and a bit more,’ said Kuroo, and a strange dark smirk lit up his face. ‘He’s a quick learner.’</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes widened and he, too, looked over at were Tsukishima was lying with his arm draped across his brow. He had headphones on and was tapping one foot lightly on the deck in a rhythmic pattern. His shorts had ridden up his thigh slightly, exposing the pale skin and curling blonde hairs beneath, and a hungry glint was in Kuroo’s eye.</p><p>‘Do I want to ask what “a bit more” means?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>’Surely you don’t need to ask? I’m looking forward to training with him again. The kid’s crazy good at read blocks. He’s got other talents, too.’</p><p>‘Yeah, I don’t think I need to know,’ said Kageyama, quickly.</p><p>His brow furrowed in thought. All this time he had thought that he and Hinata had been doing something scandalous and secretive behind everyone’s backs but to think that Tsukishima had also been hiding something… It made him wonder who else had secret romances that no one else knew about. And it disturbed him that Kuroo had noticed that there was something more between he and Hinata – that made him the second person after Oikawa to bring up the fact.</p><p>‘Ahh, you’re thinking too much, Kageyama,’ said Kuroo, leisurely. ‘It’s normal for people like us to get together; it’s only natural. We’re so passionate about volleyball that it transfers, y’know?’</p><p>Kageyama looked over again at where Hinata and Kozume were standing together, chatting in their little bubble oblivious to the happenings around them. The fist around his heart tightened and the questions Kageyama had for Kuroo seemed suddenly unimportant. He felt a heavy weariness fall on his shoulders and any vestige of pretence he had faded away under the agonising sight of the two of them together.</p><p>‘How does it not bother you?’ asked Kageyama, quietly.</p><p>‘I trust Kenma,’ said Kuroo, with a shrug. ‘He’ll always come back to me; he can’t stop himself. I have faith that he could never have what we have with someone like Hinata so a little crush doesn’t bother me. It’s nothing compared to the years we’ve spent together.’</p><p>‘What if you didn’t have those years behind you? What if you’d only been together for a couple of months?’</p><p>‘Well, maybe then I’d be nervous.’ Kuroo’s tone was teasing and he smirked at Kageyama. ‘Don’t worry, let them be. It’s kinda nice, don’t you think?’</p><p>‘Not really.’</p><p>‘Of course you’d say that,’ Kuroo laughed. ‘Your possessiveness will be your undoing if you’re not careful.’</p><p>The words “<em>remember what happens when you lose control of your passion</em>” ran through Kageyama’s head in Oikawa’s drawl and he tutted under his breath.</p><p>‘Just be sure to give something to the Chibi-chan that he can’t get from anyone else,’ Kuroo continued lightly. ‘Do something for him that no one else can do and he’ll always come back. Then, you won’t have to worry anymore about something as small as a crush; he’ll be yours for life.’</p><p>Kuroo picked up a nut that had fallen onto the table from a large black pine that shaded the deck and threw it at Tsukishima. It hit him in the arm and bounced off, and Tsukishima looked up with irritation.</p><p>‘Oi, Glasses,’ called Kuroo. ‘I hope you’ve been practicing since the last training camp.’</p><p>Yamaguchi looked over with interest and Tsukishima glared at the Nekoma captain, who was smirking crookedly at him.</p><p>‘No, I haven’t,’ said Tsukishima, lightly. ‘I’ve been spending all my evenings just watching the others train.’</p><p>‘Like hell you have! Come on, let’s go to the gym. I want to see what you can do.’</p><p>Kuroo got to his feet and jerked his head towards the door in a gesture that told Tsukishima to go with him. A lazy grin was playing about his lips and his eyes were curiously dark. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes slightly, staring at Kuroo as if trying to decide what to do, before getting up and slipping his headphones off his head.</p><p>‘O-Oh, Tsukki!’ exclaimed Yamaguchi, watching Tsukishima cross the deck to follow Kuroo through the door into the guesthouse.</p><p>‘I’ll be back later,’ said Tsukishima, over his shoulder. ‘Don’t bother waiting up.’</p><p>Kuroo flashed a smirk and a wink at Kageyama before the pair disappeared into the guesthouse. Kageyama was floored. The audacity. The frankness. He couldn’t believe it. Where Kageyama himself put so much effort into keeping his more-than-friends relationship with Hinata a secret, Kuroo just went and did <em>that</em>. A part of him couldn’t help the feeling of envy that welled in his heart at how easy-going Kuroo was and how little stress he felt over Kozume and Hinata. He also wondered what it was exactly that Kuroo was planning to do with Tsukishima – certainly not just practice read blocks, that much was certain. The Nekoma captain’s words ran through his mind: “<em>give something to the Chibi-chan that he can’t get from anyone else… he’ll be yours for life</em>”. What could Kageyama possibly give Hinata that Hinata couldn’t get elsewhere? What could Kageyama offer him that someone like Kozume couldn’t?</p><p>Kageyama’s mind was whirring and with Kuroo gone there was nothing to distract him from the sight of Hinata being happy with someone else so he decided to leave. Instead of bathing, he washed himself quickly and retired to the room upstairs, glad to get away from the noise of the ground floor that was alive with the presence of the Nekoma and Karasuno players that were enjoying their evening of leisure. When he got to the top of the narrow staircase, Yamaguchi was about to head down and stepped aside to let him pass.</p><p>‘Oh, Kageyama, is Tsukki still training with Kuroo-san?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Yeah, I think so,’ Kageyama replied. ‘I haven’t seen him come back.’</p><p>‘Okay, I’m going to practice myself for a bit, see you later!’</p><p>He disappeared down the stairs and Kageyama exhaled into the quiet of the upper floor, relieved to be alone. Their bedroom was empty as Yamaguchi was gone and Tsukishima was evidently still off doing who-knows-what with Kuroo. Kageyama closed the door behind him and crossed the room to the big south-facing windows, one of which was open, and looked out to the deck below. Hinata was down there, his head of bright orange hair easily recognisable, sitting at a table with the Nekoma boys playing cards. Kozume was sitting beside him. The sight made Kageyama’s stomach twist painfully and he tore his eyes away from the window to focus on changing into his sleepwear. When he had put on a light cotton tank top and loose shorts, he lay back on his bed in the corner and stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling light was old and dim and cast a warm orange hue over the panelled walls and tatami floor. Distantly, he could hear the sounds of chatter and laughter drift up through the open window and through the gap under the door. His mind began to wander.</p><p>He wondered what Tsukishima and Kuroo were doing at that moment. Tsukishima… He was normally so haughty and unreadable, Kageyama never would have guessed that he would partake in something as unsavoury as relations with another student – and a rival that was two years older than him at that. Were they holed up somewhere, maybe in the store room or behind the gym, kissing and touching in ways that put his affiliation with Hinata to shame? Was Kuroo giving the younger middle blocker something that Tsukishima couldn’t get from anyone else? Surely not. Tsukishima was too aloof to ever be wrapped around someone’s finger like that. That train of thought brought Kageyama back to what he had been pondering earlier after his conversation with the Nekoma captain: what could he do to keep Hinata by his side? What could he offer the boy that no one else could ever offer him? There were times when he was kissing Hinata that Kageyama had felt the urge to do more, to go further, but what did that mean? Where would his hands and lips take him if he let them wander? Kageyama didn’t know. Anything beyond kissing was entirely unknown to him.</p><p>Suddenly, he heard the sound of running footsteps on the stairs outside. They got louder and louder until the bedroom door opened and Kageyama’s train of thought derailed.</p><p>‘You’re here!’ said Hinata, standing in the doorway and breathing slightly heavier than usual after running up the stairs. ‘I was looking for you!’</p><p>‘Yeah, I’m here, so what?’ asked Kageyama, glaring at him.</p><p>‘I was just wondering.’ Hinata’s eyes swept the room. ‘Where’re Tsukishima and Yamaguchi?’</p><p>‘Tsukishima’s at the gym with Kuroo and I think Yamaguchi went somewhere to practice, I don’t know where.’</p><p>‘Tsukishima’s practicing blocks with Kuroo-san again?!’ Hinata groaned with jealousy. ‘It’s not fair, he always gets to practice with him.’</p><p>Kageyama fought back the urge to tell Hinata that he ought to be glad he didn’t go with them. Hinata stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He went over to his bed beside Kageyama’s and started fixing the sheet that was coming off the futon. Kageyama felt oddly irritated at Hinata. Jealousy was still darkening his heart and making him avoid Hinata’s gaze. Hinata didn’t seem to notice.</p><p>‘Did you go to the bath yet?’ he asked.</p><p>‘I just took a wash,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Me too. The third-years and some of the others were still in there when I went. I think they were having a competition about who could stay in the water the longest.’</p><p>‘Sounds about right.’</p><p>‘It was fun at the beach today,’ said Hinata, with a grin. ‘I feel like we’re starting to get the hang of playing on sand now.’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t reply. He just continued staring at the ceiling. He could see Hinata looking at him from the corner of his eye but elected to ignore him.</p><p>‘Oi, what’s wrong, Kageyama?’</p><p>‘Nothing.’</p><p>‘Come on, I know you well enough by now to know when something’s bothering you. Spit it out.’</p><p>Kageyama knew it wasn’t fair of him to feel angry or jealous. He knew it was all in his head. But even still, he couldn’t help the ache that throbbed in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled before looking over to where Hinata was kneeling on his own bed beside him.</p><p>‘Come here,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Eh?’</p><p>‘Come here.’</p><p>Kageyama reached out to grab Hinata by the arm and pulled him gently over until Hinata was kneeling beside him, looking down at Kageyama where he lay on his pillow. Kageyama slid his hand up Hinata’s arm to his face and laced his fingers into the locks of hair at the back of Hinata’s head. Hinata’s eyes widened infinitesimally but he didn’t waver as Kageyama drew him down into a kiss. Their lips met and Kageyama sighed internally with relief. All his worrying seemed pointless now that Hinata was here and sharing something like a kiss that he would never share with Kozume, no matter how close they might be.</p><p>Hinata broke the kiss but kept his face close, his eyes searching Kageyama’s face.</p><p>‘What if Tsukishima or Yamaguchi come back? Or someone comes in?’ he said, and his eyebrows were knitted with worry.</p><p>‘They won’t,’ said Kageyama. ‘And the walls are so thin we’ll hear anyone coming way before they open the door. I heard you coming from a mile off.’</p><p>He pulled Hinata down to him again, this time with both hands clasping either side of Hinata’s face. Hinata relaxed into the kiss. <em>Yes</em>, thought Kageyama. <em>Doing this makes everything okay</em>. He parted his lips and deepened the kiss, tasting Hinata with the tip of his tongue, and felt the decoy’s muscles tremble and collapse as he fell shakily on top of Kageyama’s chest. Kozume would never be able to do this. No one would ever be able to feel Hinata’s hands on their chest, feel the weight and heat of his body pressed against theirs, taste the sweet, secret flavour of his lips. This was all Kageyama’s. It was a part of Hinata that the boy kept hidden from everyone else they knew, everyone else in the world, except for the setter lying under him. The thought made Kageyama’s heart thunder in his ears and tightened the pit of his stomach.</p><p>He slipped his hands under the hem of Hinata’s shirt and wrapped his arms fully around Hinata’s waist, revelling in the warmth and softness of his bare skin. Then, out of nowhere, a familiar voice echoed in the back of Kageyama’s mind: “<em>Just be sure to give something to the Chibi-chan that he can’t get from anyone else. Do something for him that no one else can do and he’ll always come back. Then, you won’t have to worry anymore about something as small as a crush; he’ll be yours for life</em>.” His for life… Kageyama could feel his own hardness pushing against the front of his shorts. He knew he couldn’t be the only one feeling that way. The sounds of whooping laughter from the Nekoma boys down on the deck drifted through the open window. A gentle night breeze fluttered the open curtain, a pair of moths darted around the ceiling light, and Kageyama was resolved to let go of his inhibitions.</p><p>He extracted a hand from around Hinata’s waist and let it rest on Hinata’s thigh just above his knee. He bit down gently on Hinata’s lower lip, causing him to sigh softly, and Kageyama swallowed the sigh as he moved his hand slowly up Hinata’s thigh, running over the folds of his shorts, until he found what he was looking for. Kageyama’s heart leapt into his throat as he felt the hardened bulge. Hinata gasped into Kageyama’s mouth but didn’t pull away. The fact encouraged Kageyama and he started moving his hand up and down over the contour of Hinata’s erection. Hinata kissed Kageyama through panting breaths and Kageyama fought with himself to stay in control. This was something that Kozume would definitely never get to do. Not in his wildest dreams. Hinata shifted slightly to give Kageyama better access with his hand and Kageyama couldn’t help the hungry smirk that tugged at the corners of his lips. The fact that Hinata wanted this just as much as he did almost drove him wild. He bit down harder on Hinata’s lower lip, causing an audible, drawn out sigh to escape from Hinata’s lips and the heat in Kageyama’s shorts throbbed harder. As Kageyama’s hand reached the top of the shape of Hinata’s shaft, he moved his hand further up to the top of Hinata’s shorts. They had already gone so far. There was no coming back from this and no point stopping now. Kageyama fingered the elastic of Hinata’s shorts, toying with the soft hairs that grew in a trail down from his naval, until Hinata let out a whimper of impatience. Kageyama smirked and slid his hand down Hinata’s shorts. He grasped the rock-hard heat that he found there and resumed the up-and-down motion of before. Hinata moaned under his breath and broke their kiss to press his forehead against Kageyama’s shoulder, his orange hair brushing against Kageyama’s cheek. His hands balled into fists that gripped Kageyama’s shirt and Kageyama leaned his cheek into Hinata’s hair as he worked at Hinata’s cock, watching his progress with hunger darkening his eyes. The fragrance of Hinata’s hair, the tell-tale fresh linen and tatami, filled his brain like a fog and pushed any semblance of reason from his mind. He was so lost in the presence of Hinata in his arms and the way that presence dominated each and every one of his senses.</p><p>The way Hinata’s shorts were pushed down his hips prevented Kageyama from reaching the whole shaft and he stopped momentarily and pushed back gently against Hinata’s arms. Hinata sat up and his face was a glorious wreck. A confused expression looked through his flushed cheeks, kiss-bitten lips and hair that was even more unruly than usual; but Kageyama quickly sat up and moved back on his futon to lean against the wall. He tugged at the hem of Hinata’s shorts and Hinata, understanding what Kageyama wanted, pulled his shorts and briefs down over one leg so that they hung loosely from the other. Kageyama pulled him by the wrist and his heart faltered in his chest as he watched the half-naked boy, bathed in dim orange light, walk on his knees across the bed to straddle Kageyama’s hips and capture his lips in another agonising kiss. Kageyama stroked Hinata’s cock again, first slowly, working him up to a swifter, more rhythmic pace aided by the droplets of precome that beaded at the tip. The heat burned in his hand and despite the scandalous nature of what he was doing, Kageyama felt nothing but the blazing urge to go on, to bring Hinata to the peak of pleasure that would keep him coming back to Kageyama and cause him to forget about anything and everything except for the way that Kageyama alone could make him feel. Hinata seemed to be lost in a senseless daze, overcome by the movement of Kageyama’s hand and the waves of pleasure washing over one another inside of him. His breath became ragged and laboured as he breathed into the space between them, his forehead pressed against Kageyama’s. Kageyama feasted his eyes upon the vision of eroticism that had manifested in his lap and he caressed the back of Hinata’s neck lovingly as Hinata’s hips started bucking slightly in time with Kageyama’s hand, speeding up the motion even more as he teetered on the edge of collapse.</p><p>‘K-Kageyama,’ breathed Hinata, in a raspy moan. ‘You have to s-stop, I’ll…’</p><p>‘I’m not stopping,’ murmured Kageyama. ‘Let yourself go.’</p><p>‘I – I’m going to –’</p><p>Hinata’s whole body tensed up, his hands gripped painfully hard into Kageyama’s upper arms, his breathing caught in his throat in a cut-off moan as liquid heat spilled over Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama worked him through it, drawing out the high for as long as he could, until Hinata’s limbs went lax and he lowered his head against Kageyama’s shoulder, breathing heavily into the space between them. He stayed there for a moment, seated heavily in Kageyama’s lap, until the chatter of the Nekoma boys outside brought them down to reality.</p><p>Hinata swung himself off Kageyama’s lap and pulled his briefs and shorts back up. His cheeks were scarlet. Kageyama smirked, privately very pleased with himself, and got to his feet.</p><p>‘I’ll go to the bathroom,’ he said. ‘I’ll be back in a second.’</p><p>‘Okay. Kageyama?’</p><p>Kageyama looked back over his shoulder to see Hinata looking up at him from the floor looking very embarrassed.</p><p>‘I’m sorry!’ said Hinata, bowing his head.</p><p>Kageyama smirked and he couldn’t suppress the brightness alighting in his eyes.</p><p>‘Don’t be sorry,’ he said. ‘I’m not.’</p><p>He went out to the landing and clenched his hand, and the evidence of Hinata’s release, in his fist as he hurried down to the toilets. His heart was pounding and his senses felt sharpened as if he had just finished the first set of an important volleyball match. Disbelief at what had just happened warred with lust and a curious sense of victory in his mind. What the hell had he just done? No, what had <em>they</em> just done? He vividly recalled Hinata pulling his own shorts and briefs off, his whimper of impatience, the bucking of his hips. What had just happened wasn’t on Kageyama - it was on both of them equally.</p><p>Kageyama breathed a sigh of relief when he found the bathroom empty and he washed his hands hurriedly in the sink before cupping cold water in his hands and splashing it over his face and neck. He leaned against the benchtop and stared at himself in the mirror. His cat-like eyes were bright and wary, his hair was sticking to his damp forehead, and a pink tinge persisted in his cheeks. Gripping his hands into fists of conviction, he slipped back out to the hallway outside with a mind to return upstairs and face the reality of what had just happened. As the bathroom door swung shut behind him, the Nekoma boys came in from the deck, arguing about some controversial play that had won Lev their card game.</p><p>‘Oh, Kageyama, have you seen Shouyou?’ asked Inuoka, noticing Kageyama. ‘He was playing cards with us before and just disappeared.’</p><p>Kozume was peering shyly through his fringe, watching Kageyama for his response with poorly-disguised interest. Kageyama could barely conceal the dark smirk that broke across his face.</p><p>‘He went to bed already,’ he said. ‘I suppose you’ll see him tomorrow. Night.’</p><p>‘Oh okay, g’night.’</p><p>Kageyama could feel the Kozume’s eyes on his retreating back as he walked away down the hallway and back up the stairs. Any stress or concern he had felt over the Nekoma setter seemed unfounded to him now. How could he ever have felt threatened by him? It all seemed so baseless with hindsight.</p><p>Hinata had gotten into bed and promptly turned red again when he saw Kageyama. Kageyama took his shorts off and got into his own bed. He lay on his back looking at the ceiling and in his periphery he could see Hinata facing him.</p><p>‘That was stupid,’ said Hinata, quietly. ‘What if someone had come in?’</p><p>‘No one <em>did</em> come in,’ said Kageyama. ‘So there’s no point thinking about it.’</p><p>‘Still…’</p><p>‘What, you didn’t like it?’</p><p>Kageyama looked over and Hinata blushed but looked back with a hardness in his eyes.</p><p>‘I never said that,’ he said.</p><p>Kageyama snorted and looked back up at the ceiling. His heart was still racing despite his efforts to present an air of nonchalance. They heard footsteps on the stairs outside and Yamaguchi opened the door.</p><p>‘Oh, sorry!’ he whispered, upon seeing the other two in bed, and closed the door quietly behind himself once he had stepped into the room.</p><p>Kageyama and Hinata couldn’t talk any more now that Yamaguchi was back. After a little while, jovial voices and footsteps could be heard on the stairs as the third-years came up from their bath. Kageyama soon drifted to sleep and didn’t notice Tsukishima slipping quietly into the room some hours later. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I posted this chapter a little earlier than usual as I'm going away tomorrow but I hope you don't mind. Things between Hinata and Kageyama are starting to get a little more... physical, and I hope you enjoy that type of content which has been a bit different from the rest of this work so far. It only gets more mature from here and I'll keep updating the tags to include specifics as I post more chapters. Thank you very much for reading and see you next week! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Final Straw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Kageyama couldn’t help feeling somewhat awkward upon being seated at the long outdoor table with Hinata surrounded by their teammates and friends that were all totally oblivious to what had happened in their room the previous night. The secret of their interaction weighed upon him heavily and felt more burdensome compared to when they had only indulged in more innocent activities such as embracing and kissing. It was as if the unspoken deed of last night ballooned into being whenever Kageyama caught Hinata's eye; however, seeing Hinata’s cheeks flush every time they made eye contact filled Kageyama with a voyeuristic sense of satisfaction. Sweet, naïve Hinata who was a bit of an airhead and friends with everyone… Every time Kageyama looked at him, the image of the decoy, hair dishevelled and eyebrows upturned, bucking against Kageyama’s hand and moaning through his release mere metres away from their fellow players flashed through Kageyama’s mind. The memory kept a ravenous hunger burning brightly in the pit of his stomach. The realm of opportunity before him grew wider the more they did together and Kageyama wanted nothing more than to keep going. He knew that, no matter what they did that day in training, he would only be waiting for another opportunity to be intimate with Hinata and see what else he could get away with. There was something about seeing Hinata in a position such as he was the previous night, so vulnerable and absolutely private, that gave Kageyama a familiar, victorious rush that he often experienced in a good volleyball match. Breaking through the barriers of social decency to the sexual being within felt like nothing short of winning.</p>
<p>The morning was clear and sunny, and a briny breeze blew the scent of the sea up to their guesthouse and instilled each player with unprecedented energy. After breakfast, Karasuno and Nekoma did some warm up drills and had a practice game in the gym as the sun rode higher into the sky. Then, they headed down to the beach after a light lunch. By midday, the sun was blazing overhead in a cloudless sky and the day soon became oppressively warm. The coaches elected to allow the students to cool off in the water for a while before starting their rounds of beach volleyball. The volleyball teams, followed quickly by the coaches and teachers, each flung themselves into the glittering water to wash away the sweat built up after the morning’s practice.</p>
<p>Kageyama felt his muscles relax as he dunked his head under the water and revelled in the cool rivulets streaming down the back of his neck. Despite his eagerness to play beach volleyball, he couldn’t deny enjoying a respite from the day’s heat. Things had felt slightly awkward between he and Hinata in the morning but Kageyama, certainly not for the first time, had sighed inwardly in relief at the fact that Hinata had played normally in their warm-ups and practice match. At one point early on, Hinata had fumbled a serve after noticing Kageyama watching him but he had quickly gathered himself together and continued playing despite the blush in his cheeks. Kageyama swam a lazy breaststroke as his mind wandered into yet another replay of what had happened the previous night. In the shallows, the Nekoma second-years were having a handstand competition; Daichi, Sugawara, Yaku and Kuroo were paddling and chatting leisurely further out in the depths; Nishinoya, Tanaka and Yamamoto were debating animatedly about something; and Kageyama spotted Hinata who was off a little way away floating on his back and staring up at the sky. A look of careful composure descended onto Kageyama’s features but it did little to quell the hungry flame that alighted in his eyes at the sight of the decoy in nothing but swimming trunks. Kageyama shot a glance around himself before swimming over to Hinata. He couldn’t quiet the thudding of his heart nor the urge pulsing through his veins that told him to act. The rare sight of Hinata alone only served to validate his convictions. He came to a standstill behind Hinata’s head and checked once again to make sure they were out of earshot of the others.</p>
<p>‘What we did last night…,’ whispered Kageyama, ‘I want to do it again.’</p>
<p>Hinata jumped with surprise and spluttered through a mouthful of seawater as he stood up to stare at Kageyama, who was scowling firmly behind him.</p>
<p>‘<em>Shh!</em>’ hissed Hinata, looking around them frantically. ‘There’s people everywhere, keep your voice down!’</p>
<p>Kageyama blew air out of his nose in irritation.</p>
<p>‘No one can hear us whispering from here,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘And don’t talk about last night!’ groaned Hinata, and colour rose in his cheeks again at the mention.</p>
<p>‘Why not?’ asked Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘It’s embarrassing,’ muttered Hinata. ‘You’re gonna make fun of me for what happened.’</p>
<p>‘Huh? You think I’d make fun of you?’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s scowl deepened at the furtive glance Hinata shot in his direction. Was the decoy seriously afraid that Kageyama would tease him for what they had done? He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in exasperation at Hinata’s idiocy.</p>
<p>‘I just said I want to do it again,’ he hissed, flashing Hinata a look. ‘I’m not going to make fun of you, dumbass, I told you not to be embarrassed.’</p>
<p>‘Well, if you’re sure…’</p>
<p>Hinata still sounded unconvinced and Kageyama reached for his hand under the water to demonstrate the assurance that his words couldn’t quite convey. Hinata looked up at him with wide eyes as if he was searching for the truth in Kageyama’s face.</p>
<p>‘I’m sure,’ said Kageyama, firmly. ‘As long as you are, too.’</p>
<p>‘Let’s just see what happens in the evening,’ said Hinata, evasively, and his fingers twitched around Kageyama’s. Then, he smirked darkly and shot a look at Kageyama from the corner of his eye. ‘You’re such a pervert.’</p>
<p>Kageyama snatched his hand away to splash water into Hinata’s face and he left the boy spluttering before swimming back to the shore.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Later that evening, after a long afternoon session of beach volleyball from which Yaku and Kai were named reigning champions, the students of Karasuno and Nekoma enjoyed a light summer meal of seafood and rice on the long outdoor table. After they had eaten, they all hung around chatting and playing games at the table as they had the night before. From the corner of his eye, Kageyama saw Hinata get up from where he had been sitting with the Nekoma first years and make his way inside. Kageyama's heart leapt into overdrive before his brain had even realised: this was an opportunity presenting itself. He could stay put and wait to see when Hinata would come back from wherever he was going, or he could go after him and seize what might be his only chance for the night. He allowed a moment to pass so as to not rouse suspicion before peering furtively around himself, getting to his feet and following Hinata inside. The noise of chatter and laughter drifted through the narrow hallways of the guesthouse and Kageyama ascended into the quiet of upstairs, careful to tread lightly on the creaking steps, and slid open their bedroom door. Hinata, bath towel and toiletry bag in hand, looked around in surprise.</p>
<p>‘Oh, Kageyama, it’s you,’ he said. ‘What’s up?’</p>
<p>Kageyama merely stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind him. When Kageyama didn’t speak, Hinata’s eyes widened slightly at the implication of his silence and he shifted his body to face Kageyama fully. Without a word, Kageyama strode forward and reached out to the decoy. He cupped Hinata’s cheek gently with his hand and surveyed the sight of him gazing up at the setter with eyes wide and shining. There was expectation written there and a curious hint of submission that the decoy rarely had when looking upon his rival, and yet behind those light brown eyes to which Kageyama had grown so partial burned a singular flame that often flickered whenever Hinata was engrossed by volleyball. Now, however, it burned for Kageyama and the sight of it filled Kageyama with the conviction he needed to assure him that Hinata, too, wanted this.</p>
<p>He tilted Hinata’s face slightly upwards as he enclosed himself around he decoy’s expectant form. The towel and bag in Hinata’s hands fell to the floor. The familiar softness of Hinata’s lips set Kageyama’s heart ablaze and his brow furrowed as his senses became utterly dominated by the decoy. The hesitation that had so often been in Hinata's lips was gone and he kissed Kageyama back with confidence, gripping onto the taller setter’s shoulders to pull him down closer. It seemed that the events of the previous night had given Hinata a dose of tenacity that now encouraged the fervour burning in his lips. It made Kageyama smirk into the kiss and he walked Hinata back into the closet door as his hands grasped either side of Hinata's waist. His fingers found the heat of Hinata’s skin under his shirt and he ran his thumb up and down, revelling in the touch of what his eyes had beheld at the beach all day and yet had remained painstakingly out of his reach; now, however, he indulged in that which had been denied of him.</p>
<p>Hinata parted his lips and their breath mingled in heady pants as Kageyama tasted the boy in his arms. It felt too good to be true and Kageyama had to keep grounding himself in his sensory perceptions to remind himself that this was, in fact, happening and he wasn’t lost in some fervent dream. He could feel the satiny slide of Hinata’s waist under his touch, hear their equally laboured breathing, smell the fragrance of linen and tatami, taste the secret essence of Hinata’s lips… Kageyama broke their kiss to peer through his fringe at Hinata and the decoy looked up at him with eyes dazed and somewhat out of focus. The seemingly intoxicating effect that Kageyama had on the decoy caused heat to swill in the bottom of Kageyama’s chest and a hungry brightness alighted in his face. He pushed Hinata back harder into the closet door as he ducked his head down and pressed a breathy kiss to the side of Hinata's neck. Hinata leaned his head back against the door and Kageyama felt shaky fingers knot into his hair. His breath ghosted over Hinata’s skin and goosebumps bloomed there, the sight of which made hunger stir in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. Hinata’s physical response to him told Kageyama all he needed to know and he couldn’t help savouring the rapid pulse hammering desire in Hinata's throat beneath his lips.</p>
<p>As he whispered kisses under Hinata’s ear, Kageyama remembered why they were in the situation in the first place. Why had he sought Hinata ought at the beach earlier that day? Why had he followed Hinata upstairs from the deck outside? What was the singular motivator driving his actions? His hand slipped from Hinata’s waist and trailed slowly down the inside of the decoy’s hip, over the elastic of his shorts and down until Kageyama felt the hardened shaft carving a shape in the front of his shorts. Hinata’s fingers squeezed tighter in Kageyama’s hair at the touch. Kageyama straightened up to capture Hinata’s lips again in a desperate kiss and he ran his fingers down the shape of Hinata’s cock, feeling its form and contours and committing it all to memory. The extent of his own desire surprised him but Hinata's whimpering breaths and gripping hands drove any shadow of doubt from Kageyama’s mind; he wanted this, more than anything in the world at that moment, and he was entirely enthralled by the rock-hard heat throbbing under his hand.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the sound of footsteps on the stairs outside shattered the moment and Kageyama leapt away from Hinata as if he had been burned, his heart thundering in his ears. Fear alighted in Hinata's face.</p>
<p>‘Shit!’ gasped Hinata, throwing himself down on his futon and frantically attempting to organise the mess of blankets around himself.</p>
<p>Kageyama dove onto his bed and grabbed his phone in a desperate attempt to look natural. His heart was racing and he could feel heat radiating in his cheeks. The door opened and Tsukishima came in. His eyes flicked bemusedly to Hinata, who was sat in a pile of blankets picking casually at his fingernails, and to Kageyama, who was lounging on his front looking at his phone, before he grabbed his towel and toiletry bag and left without a word. Once the door was closed, Hinata exhaled sharply and slumped back into the bed. Kageyama let his still-locked phone fall from his fingers.</p>
<p>‘That was close,’ he said, lowly.</p>
<p>‘That was <em>way too close</em>, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, sitting up and flinging a pillow at Kageyama’s head. ‘What if he saw?!’</p>
<p>‘Well, he didn’t see so there’s no problem!’ said Kageyama, his voice rising defensively. ‘And I told you we'd hear well before anyone came, which we did.’</p>
<p>‘But still! We probably look really suspicious here - did you see the way he looked at us?!’</p>
<p>‘Even if he suspected something, he’s not going to say anything.’</p>
<p>‘How can you say that?! He’s a mean guy, he’d probably just <em>love</em> to hold something like that over our heads to make us do stuff that he wants!’</p>
<p>‘He wouldn’t, I’m sure of it,’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p>
<p>‘Are you kidding me?! Use your head, Kageyama, you know Tsukishima is the worst guy ever!’</p>
<p>Kageyama couldn’t say it aloud but he knew that even if Tsukishima found out about them, he would never tell anyone else because Kageyama knew what he was doing with Kuroo. He had a bargaining chip that sealed his confidence. Hinata, on the other hand, had his face scrunched up in anger and his arms crossed over his chest.</p>
<p>‘You’re an idiot, Kageyama!’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Oi, I’m not an idiot!’ growled Kageyama, and he threw his pillow back at Hinata, who caught it against his chest.</p>
<p>‘I’m not doing stuff like that with you here anymore, it’s too risky!’ said Hinata, stubbornly.</p>
<p>‘Fine!’</p>
<p>Hinata got to his feet and scooped up his towel and toiletry bag from where they had been lying forgotten on the floor before stomping out to the landing and slamming the door behind him. Kageyama lay back hard against his bed and pulled his pillow over his face. Yes, it had been close, but that wasn’t his fault! It was clear as day that Hinata wanted to be close with Kageyama just as much as Kageyama wanted it but he was too scared or nervous or <em>something</em> to just be honest about it, so Hinata merely allowed Kageyama to take control so that he could put all the responsibility on Kageyama if anything was to go wrong. It was obvious in the way that no matter how often he danced around the true nature of their relationship, Hinata’s physical reactions told Kageyama all he needed to know. He always kissed Kageyama back with as much fervour as the setter; his voice would be hesitant but a fire burned in his eyes whenever Kageyama approached him. In Kageyama’s mind, it was unfair and downright wrong of Hinata to be so dishonest about his feelings. <em>Stupid Hinata</em>, he thought, bitterly. <em>Can’t even be honest about what he wants to himself or to me</em>. It was so idiotic it made Kageyama’s insides twist with anger.</p>
<p>He lay there fuming for a while before getting up and throwing his bedding aside. He decided to go for a walk to clear his head and because he didn’t want to be in that room alone with Hinata after the decoy inevitably came back from his bath. Kageyama left the room and made his way downstairs. Their bedroom had started to feel like a sanctuary that was somehow separate from the rest of the building, as if it was on its own plane of existence in the realm of evening apart from the rest of their day-to-day lives. At the foot of the stairs, Kageyama could hear the third-years chatting in the bathroom and the sound of running water, and the lilt of voices drifting in from the deck out back. He made his way down the hallway towards the front door and stopped when he heard a familiar voice calling after him.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Kageyama! Where are you going?’</p>
<p>Hinata was standing at the other end of the hallway, hair still wet from the bath and with his towel draped over his shoulder. His eyebrows were knitted with concern and Kageyama looked back with hardness in his eyes.</p>
<p>‘Out,’ he said, shortly.</p>
<p>‘Out where?’ asked Hinata.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know, just out. To the beach, maybe.’</p>
<p>Hinata looked hesitant and rubbed his forearm awkwardly.</p>
<p>‘Can I come?’ he asked.</p>
<p>Kageyama wanted to say no. He was still frustrated with Hinata always blaming him for everything and wasn’t sure if he wanted to be around the decoy at that moment but at the same time he didn’t want to exacerbate a rift between them for the sake of the team.</p>
<p>‘Fine,’ he said, somewhat coldly. ‘If you don’t think anyone’s going to notice.’</p>
<p>He turned and allowed Hinata to follow him outside, not bothering to wait when Hinata darted back into the bathroom to leave his belongings. They walked in silence down to the beach, Hinata a little bit behind and Kageyama glaring ahead and avoiding Hinata's eye. He pulled off his shoes and dug his toes into the cool sand as they made their way towards the shoreline. In the darkness, the water was an inky black indiscernible from the sky that washed onto the sand. A breeze that blew from over the water gave them respite from the muggy heat of the summer night. Their pace slowed as they made their way along the sand with no discernible destination. Kageyama wondered if the distance between them was pointed or if it was only in his mind. Either way, he couldn’t quash the irritation he was feeling towards Hinata. Hinata, too, was looking down at his feet as he walked.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Kageyama.’</p>
<p>Hinata rubbed his forearm awkwardly and kept his eyes on the ground.</p>
<p>‘What?’ barked Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘If we’re gonna do stuff like that together —’</p>
<p>‘Like what?’</p>
<p>‘You know what!’</p>
<p>Kageyama did know, he just wanted to hear Hinata say it out loud. For some reason, he got a vindictive sort of enjoyment from seeing Hinata flustered and embarrassed about the increasingly sexual nature of their relationship.</p>
<p>‘Stuff like what we did last night,’ Hinata continued, in a reluctant mumble that made Kageyama smirk. ‘If you wanna do stuff like that then you have to be seriously careful about not getting caught. Seriously!’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, yeah.’</p>
<p>‘Because if someone finds out then everyone in the whole prefecture will end up knowing about it!’ said Hinata, and his voice rose with anxiety at the prospect.</p>
<p>‘That’s not true,’ said Kageyama, without thinking. ‘Not everyone is going to spread rumours if they find out.’</p>
<p>‘Oh yeah?’ challenged Hinata. ‘And who wouldn’t?’</p>
<p>‘Sugawara-san? You told him yourself ages ago and he hasn’t told anyone.’</p>
<p>‘Well, he doesn’t count,’ said Hinata, as if it was obvious. ‘He’s trustworthy and can keep a secret. But he’s literally the only one!’</p>
<p>‘Actually…’ Kageyama hesitated, teetering on the edge of confiding in Hinata. There were some important things that he had kept secret from Hinata until now but Kageyama felt in that moment that it was time to tell the decoy the truth. ‘He’s not the only one.’</p>
<p>‘What do you mean?’ said Hinata, sharply.</p>
<p>‘He’s not the only one that wouldn’t spread it around if they found out about us,’ clarified Kageyama.</p>
<p>He could feel the weight of the impending conversation bearing upon his words and he knew that he had to be honest with the decoy. More than enough time had passed and the conversation was one they should have had some time ago. Hinata raised an eyebrow dubiously.</p>
<p>‘I’m pretty sure he is,’ he said. ‘How else could you be sure?’</p>
<p>‘Because -’ Kageyama fidgeted, ‘- because he’s not the only person who knows.’</p>
<p>Hinata stopped in his tracks and Kageyama stopped too, carefully keeping his face impassive. Hinata stared up at Kageyama through the darkness. Only the sound of invisible waves breaking against the shore broke the silence between them.</p>
<p>‘Who else knows?’ asked Hinata, and his voice was tight.</p>
<p>Kageyama sighed.</p>
<p>‘Oikawa, for one,’ he said, somewhat reluctantly.</p>
<p>‘You told him?!’</p>
<p>‘No, I’m not stupid!’ snapped Kageyama. ‘He guessed it himself.’</p>
<p>Hinata looked devastated and the sight of it sent an icy shard to pierce Kageyama’s heart. He had known that Hinata would be upset at the knowledge that Oikawa was aware of some kind of more-than-friends relationship going on between the two first-years but in that moment he surprised himself at how much he hated the fact that the decoy was so visibly distressed.</p>
<p>‘How? When? Why didn’t you tell me before?!’ said Hinata, his voice rising with every word.</p>
<p>‘I didn’t want to worry you!’ </p>
<p>The anger that had been building up in Hinata's face softened slightly at Kageyama’s words but his eyebrows were still knitted with worry as he watched Kageyama’s face. Kageyama regretted the blatant honesty behind his last words but he pushed past them, determined to explain himself.</p>
<p>‘Oikawa told me after we had that practice match against Seijoh a few weeks ago,’ Kageyama continued. ‘He came to find me after the match was over and basically told me he’d picked up on something going on between us but promised not to tell anyone. I didn’t want to tell you back then because, well, I didn’t want you to freak out and mess up in practice.’ That was only partially true and Kageyama kept talking before Hinata could speak his protest. ‘And I don’t think he’s told anyone. At least, no one else from Seijoh has mentioned anything about it to me.’</p>
<p>‘No one else from Seijoh?’ repeated Hinata, slowly filling in the blanks in his mind. ‘But, someone from somewhere else has?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah… Kuroo-san,’ admitted Kageyama, ‘and actually it was only yesterday. He also noticed by himself and talked to me about it.’</p>
<p>‘You can’t be serious,’ said Hinata, and he gripped his head in his hands.</p>
<p>‘I am. I’m… sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.’</p>
<p>Hinata sat down heavily onto the sand and looked out unseeing towards the water. He seemed to be taking the news worse than Kageyama had expected.</p>
<p>‘How did Kuroo notice?’ asked Hinata, sounding as if he didn’t want to hear the answer.</p>
<p>‘He —’</p>
<p>Words caught in Kageyama’s throat and he fell silent. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Hinata that Kuroo had noticed how jealous Kageyama had been after watching Hinata and Kozume getting along so well out on the deck the previous night. He didn’t think he would ever be able to live it down. Instead, he elected to sit down on the sand beside Hinata at arm’s length away.</p>
<p>‘He has some kind of weird, deep friendship with Kozume-san,’ he said, carefully. ‘And he said he saw something in you and I - something similar with what he has with Kozume.’</p>
<p>‘Wait, he's dating Kenma?!’ said Hinata, and his head whipped around to stare in surprise at Kageyama.</p>
<p>Kageyama frowned and he looked back at Hinata with narrowed eyes.</p>
<p>‘I never said anything about dating,’ he said.</p>
<p>Hinata’s cheeks immediately flushed a deep crimson and he turned away from Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘R-Right,’ he stammered, ‘I just thought that was what you meant.’</p>
<p>A heavy, embarrassed silence fell between them in which Hinata fidgeted.</p>
<p>‘The match with Seijoh was ages ago,’ said Hinata, after a pause. ‘You should have told me.’</p>
<p>Kageyama sighed and he couldn’t deny the fact that Hinata was right. The fact only made him more annoyed and he rested his elbows on his knees.</p>
<p>‘I knew Oikawa wouldn’t tell anyone,’ muttered Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘How could you know that? The guy’s super weird and annoying, and really popular! Surely he’d tell some of the others from Seijoh.’</p>
<p>‘He’s not the type,’ said Kageyama, patiently. ‘Listen, you don’t know Oikawa like I do. He’s the kind of person to keep private information about me to himself in case he would need to use it against me at some point in the future. He wouldn’t just throw away a good blackmailing opportunity for no reason.’</p>
<p>‘Still, you should have told me!’ pressed Hinata, hotly. ‘And what about Kuroo? Were you ever going to tell me about that?’</p>
<p>‘I just <em>did</em> tell you about it! It only came up yesterday, you know.’</p>
<p>‘So what, three people - possibly more - know that some stuff has been going on with you and me?! Kageyama, that’s two people too many.’</p>
<p>‘What am I supposed to do about that?!’ snapped Kageyama. ‘It’s not like I went out and told them myself!’</p>
<p>‘You should have denied it!’ insisted Hinata. ‘Or told them they were thinking about someone else!’</p>
<p>‘You weren’t there, the conversations didn’t go like that where I would have been able to deny it. Neither of them outright asked me, they basically just told me they knew.’</p>
<p>‘And? Did you tell them they were wrong?’</p>
<p>‘I —’ Kageyama blew air out of his nose in irritation. ‘There was no point. They knew already, there was nothing I could have said.’</p>
<p>‘So you didn’t even try,’ said Hinata, flatly.</p>
<p>‘You weren’t there!’ yelled Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Too bad I wasn’t!’ Hinata shouted back. ‘Otherwise I would have been able to tell them that they were wrong and that there's nothing going on between us!’</p>
<p>‘Is it really such a horrible thing to have a couple of people know about it?!’</p>
<p>‘Yes! Yes, it is!’</p>
<p>Kageyama got to his feet in a flurry of sand. Hinata looked up in surprise.</p>
<p>‘Where are you going?’ he asked.</p>
<p>‘Away from you!’ spat Kageyama. ‘<em>Don’t</em> follow me.’</p>
<p>As he stomped away back down the beach, Kageyama elected then and there to stop trying. Getting through to Hinata was so hard and required so much effort that in that moment, he just gave up. He decided that if Hinata wanted something more between them then he could put in a little effort himself. Not for the first time, Kageyama remembered how it was Hinata who had first confessed feelings to him, not the other way around; and since then, it was Kageyama who had put in all of the effort for very little in return. And then there were Hinata’s words… The fact that Hinata had affirmed that it was horrible to have people know they had a more-than-friends relationship not only made Kageyama angry; he couldn’t deny that deep down, it also really hurt. In his mind, he would prefer that people didn’t know anything about the true nature of their relationship but it wasn’t the end of the world if a couple of people knew. As long as it didn’t affect their ability to play volleyball together then everything else was secondary. Kageyama enjoyed being close with Hinata. He loved to pull Hinata’s defences apart, to slowly and meticulously work through the naïve persona to the sexual being that Hinata hid so deeply and allowed Kageyama alone to see. He loved the challenge it posed and revelled in the satisfaction of getting through to him and seeing Hinata at his most private and vulnerable. It felt like winning. But all of the walls that Hinata kept putting up made it too much for Kageyama to handle in that moment. If Hinata wanted to do more then he was more than welcome to put in the time and effort because for now, Kageyama had washed his hands of the situation. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Thank you very much for reading. I'm terribly sorry that this chapter had another row in it but we all know how much Hinata and Kageyama butt heads, a relationship between them is unfortunately a far cry from smooth sailing. I also had to demonstrate the fact that it isn't just Kageyama who's an idiot, Hinata is an idiot too! Yay for idiots! But I have a feeling they'll make up quite well in the next chapter. Also, there's a sneaky Kimetsu no Yaiba reference imbedded in this chapter somewhere for any fans, let me know if you pick it out. See you next week! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Reconciliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Just a note, you'll see the word "gakuran" used a few times in this chapter, for those that aren't familiar it's the name for the typical Japanese high school blazer or jacket garment that is a part of their uniform. Enjoy the chapter! - Ren.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama was relieved when the training camp came to an end. A heavy weariness weighed on his shoulders after everything that had transpired between himself and Hinata in the past few days, not to mention the physical toll that so many days of nothing but volleyball had taken, and he was more than ready to return to his daily life in Karasuno. Every time he saw Hinata that morning, Kageyama averted his eyes. His insides still flared up with irritation whenever he saw the decoy and Kageyama had no interest in being friendly with him after their row the night before. He didn’t even want to be in the same room as him and his eyes kept darting to his watch in his impatience to get back to Karasuno and away from all the people that suddenly felt oppressive.</p>
<p>They ate an early breakfast at the long outdoor table in order to squeeze in a practice match before Nekoma were to start their long journey back to Tokyo. As soon as Kageyama stepped onto the court, he felt in his muscles that he wouldn’t be able to get into a flow but couldn’t summon the energy to really care. Such was his skill that he was still able to play well despite being somewhat off his game. He elected to keep his distance from Hinata and barely even glanced his way as they played. Hinata, clearly sensing the animosity, didn’t attempt to speak to Kageyama either. When Hinata spiked their god-like quick, excitement flared in Kageyama’s chest at the sound of the ball smacking into the opposite side of the court, but it was quickly snuffed by the sound of Hinata’s cheering voice.</p>
<p>‘Nice kill, Shouyou!’ said Nishinoya, and the two high-fived, sporting equally broad grins.</p>
<p>‘Nice toss, Kageyama,’ called Sugawara.</p>
<p>Kageyama glanced at his senpai and nodded in acknowledgement of the praise. He could sense Sugawara’s eyes watching him closely but he ignored it. So what if he didn’t want to sing Hinata’s praises? The decoy knew full well when he made a good play, he didn’t need Kageyama to tell him that.</p>
<p>‘Just when I think we’ve got them, they always manage to get one of those crazy quicks through!’ said Inuoka, with his teeth clenched.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, that Chibi-chan is annoying,’ sighed Kuroo. ‘Well, well, look who he’s swapping with. Oi, Tsukki!’</p>
<p>Tsukishima made his way to the front of the court as Hinata skipped off to the sidelines to await a change in rotation.</p>
<p>‘What?’ said Tsukishima, with a scowl.</p>
<p>‘I’ve got my eye on you,’ said Kuroo, smirking. ‘Let’s see how much you remember from practice.’</p>
<p>To no one’s surprise, Nekoma won two sets to one. They thanked each other for the camp, changed clothes and then exchanged goodbyes. Hinata and the Nekoma first years immediately converged into a circle to form a group chat on their phones as the coaches and teachers shook hands and thanked each other for their time at the training camp. Sugawara and Yaku made promises to see each other at Nationals, and Tsukishima and Kuroo were exchanging what Kageyama assumed to be pleasantries a ways away from the rest of the group.</p>
<p>‘Good luck in the Preliminaries and see you at Nationals!’ called Takeda-sensei, waving as Nekoma piled into their minibus.</p>
<p>The boys waved as the minibus pulled out and drove off down the road. The Karasuno team returned to the guesthouse to tidy up their rooms and pack up their things in preparation to leave. Kageyama followed Tsukishima and Yamaguchi up the narrow stairs and he could hear Hinata walking behind him but he paid the decoy no notice. He kept his eyes down as he packed up his sheets and folded up the bedding. Yamaguchi chatted brightly with Tsukishima about the practice match and their voices only made the silence between himself and Hinata feel all the more pointed.</p>
<p>By midday, the team were on their way back to Karasuno. Kageyama took a seat by the window and put his bag on the seat beside him. He didn’t want Hinata to sit beside him nor did he have the interest to chat with anyone for the duration of the journey. Keeping apart was doing Hinata a favour; no one would suspect anything out of the ordinary was going on between them if they stayed away from one another, and wasn’t that what Hinata wanted most? No matter what transpired between them or how close they might become, clearly the most important thing was that no one could have any inkling that Hinata might possibly have any interest in someone like Kageyama. The thought darkened Kageyama's mood even more and he looked out of the window unseeing as the seaside view gave way to forests and mountains that were occasionally interrupted by towns of varying sizes. It was as if a wall had been erected between himself and the decoy. He felt more closed off than usual and less receptive to Hinata’s presence, to which he was usually finely attuned, and throughout their following meeting at school, Kageyama found that his mind drifted and he wanted nothing more than to be alone. Ukai went through areas of improvement and did some individual assessment before announcing that they could have free training over the weekend before school started again on the following Monday. Then, the players exchanged goodbyes and Kageyama made his way home without a second glance at Hinata or anyone else. He didn’t notice the way that Sugawara looked on at his retreating back with mild concern, nor the fact that Hinata shot him a glance before running to catch up with Tanaka and Nishinoya.</p>
<p>It was with a sense of tired relief that Kageyama stepped into his empty house and closed the front door behind him. A note on the table told him his mother was visiting her sister and that his father would be returning to Karasuno sometime the following week. The promise of solitude only added to Kageyama’s feeling of relief and he decided to take a long bath. It was soon evident, however, that no matter how much he tried to relax and empty his mind, the image of Hinata's face kept swimming before his eyes like a vision amongst the steam billowing up from the bath to disturb him. A part of him struggled to believe that the decoy had let him do what he did - and that he himself had wanted to do something of such a sexual nature. It was, up to that point, the only time that Kageyama had consciously indulged in a sexual fantasy. A swooping sensation still gripped him whenever he recalled that night. The memory felt like a dream and not something that had actually happened in real life. The dim orange light that had flooded the room, the warm summer breeze that had blown in from outside tinged with the scent of the sea, the sounds of chatter and laughter borne in from the deck outside, and Hinata… Kageyama remembered the feeling of their lips pressed together and the heat of Hinata’s skin under his touch. He remembered the weight of Hinata’s body as he lay on top of him and when he had knelt in Kageyama’s lap with his legs either side of the setter. <em>Stupid Hinata</em>, Kageyama thought, but his heart wasn’t really in it. But then, things had changed. Kageyama presumed that it had gone to the decoy’s head and freaked him out and so he didn’t want to do anything more… But no, that wasn't right either. Hinata <em>did</em> want to do more, Kageyama was sure of it. He could see it in Hinata’s eyes and in the way his body responded to closeness. Ultimately, however, Kageyama didn’t care. If Hinata wasn’t ready to put in even an ounce of effort then Kageyama wouldn’t bother either.</p>
<p>After a light meal of leftover stir-fried pork and instant noodles, Kageyama went to bed. With free training over the weekend, he didn’t feel the usual pressure to wake up early and head to school and he found himself reluctant to face Hinata at training. He didn’t feel like interacting with him at all. <em>There it is</em>, he thought wearily. <em>It’s affecting my ability to train, which is exactly what I swore wouldn’t happen</em>. In the end, Kageyama refused to let the prospect of seeing Hinata deter him from playing and he committed to attending each day of practice despite the fact that he ignored Hinata to the best of his ability and went home as soon as it was over. They were able to play together relatively normally though they never once exchanged a word and Kageyama barely looked at the decoy. Kageyama was sure that the rest of the team picked up on the fact that something had transpired between the two but he didn’t really care what they thought and none of them inquired about his acting strangely. If this was to be his relationship with Hinata from now on, then so be it. Hinata had chosen the nature of their relationship. Kageyama had just been going along with whatever Hinata wanted (admittedly with his own wants smattered in between) and he reminded himself repeatedly that Hinata was the one to confess to him first. This whole thing had been his idea despite the fact that Kageyama had been the one to take that confession and turn it into something bigger than Hinata had expected. Kageyama wondered vaguely how long the distance would persist and if they would ever be able to go back to something resembling normalcy.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>On the first day back to classes after the summer break, Kageyama felt dejected. The distance between himself and Hinata had been weighing upon him and he was not looking forward to seeing the decoy later on at practice. He was sat at his desk during lunch, daydreaming about the days spent playing beach volleyball that already felt like ages ago, when his recollections were interrupted by someone calling to him.</p>
<p>‘Hey, Kageyama, isn’t that your teammate from the volleyball club?’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes snapped up to where his classmate was pointing at the doorway. Hinata was standing there half hidden behind the doorframe and peering shyly into the classroom as if his bright orange hair wasn’t the most conspicuous thing in the room. Kageyama scowled. He had no interest to hear whatever it might be that Hinata had to say. He got to his feet and marched over to the door. Hinata quelled a little under Kageyama’s cold expression.</p>
<p>‘What do you want?’ asked Kageyama, not even trying to sound polite.</p>
<p>‘Um, could you come to the clubroom with me?’ said Hinata, and his cheeks blushed a deep crimson.</p>
<p>The sight of Hinata blushing always caused a flutter in Kageyama’s chest but he gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes.</p>
<p>‘What for?’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Just… just because. Just come, will you?’</p>
<p>‘Fine.’</p>
<p>Kageyama followed Hinata down the corridor out to the yard and to the volleyball team’s clubroom, his irritation mounting with every step. As it was the middle of the day, the clubroom was sure to be empty. The team members would usually only start showing up after their day of classes was over. The whole area itself was remote as the adjacent clubrooms for other sports were also mostly unused until the late afternoon. Kageyama expected that Hinata wanted to show him some new move or strategy amongst the papers inside and he wasn’t particularly interested; that, or Hinata wanted to talk about what had transpired between them at the training camp, and Kageyama <em>really</em> wasn’t interested in discussing that. If it was the former, why couldn’t Hinata just wait until after school to show him? They would be going to the clubroom before training anyway. And if it was the latter, then Kageyama told himself that he would turn around and walk away without a word, or maybe he would shout at Hinata a bit to try and make himself feel better.</p>
<p>Hinata climbed the stairs, unlocked the clubroom door, pocketed the key and stepped inside. Kageyama followed and closed the door behind him with an ominous click. When Hinata turned to face Kageyama, he looked surprisingly shy and hesitant. He was twisting the hem of his <em>gakuran</em> in his fingers. Kageyama frowned and then his stomach swooped when he realised that this meeting probably didn’t have anything to do with volleyball. No matter how angry he might be with Hinata, he couldn’t suppress the fact that he found the nervous, blushing decoy undeniably alluring. <em>Get a grip!</em> He snapped at himself. Kageyama <em>had</em> to stick to his point and remain firmly angry with him. He couldn’t let himself be swayed so easily - it was a point of pride.</p>
<p>‘Um, Kageyama?’ Hinata began, carefully avoiding the setter’s eye. ‘Can you – would you – maybe want to – to touch me?’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. Hinata was peering innocently up at him through his lashes. <em>He’s so damn cute</em>, Kageyama thought furiously, hating the fact that his anger at Hinata was being so easily overridden. The memory of their row on the beach was still a dark shadow in his mind, however, and he crossed his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>‘I thought you didn’t want to do stuff like that anymore,’ he said, trying to keep his voice level despite the thudding in his chest.</p>
<p>‘I never said that!’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘Or at least, I didn't mean it that way.’</p>
<p>‘Seemed that way to me,’ said Kageyama, huffily.</p>
<p>‘Well, sorry.’ Kageyama was surprised to see Hinata looking at the floor, his brow knitted. ‘I really didn’t mean it like that.’</p>
<p>Kageyama could feel his anger ebbing away with every passing second. Part of him hated how easy it was for Hinata to get through to him but another more dominant part couldn’t deny that he very much enjoyed the fact that Hinata had sought him out for the specific purpose of more-than-friends physical contact. Even still, there were some important things that weren’t adding up in his mind. The last time they had spoken properly had been an argument in which Hinata made it expressly clear that he didn’t want to risk anyone finding out about the unusual nature of their relationship; now, however, he had dragged Kageyama into the clubroom in the middle of the day with the purpose of closeness? Kageyama’s brow furrowed with confusion.</p>
<p>‘Then, I thought you didn’t want to do anything with me in public places,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘This isn’t a public place!’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘Well, not really at least. And, well, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s last words ended in a mutter and he twisted his <em>gakuran</em> even tighter still in his fidgeting hands.</p>
<p>‘We saw each other yesterday, stupid,’ Kageyama pointed out, although he privately understood what Hinata meant.</p>
<p>‘Well, yeah, but you’ve been acting weird and distant so it doesn’t really count,’ said Hinata. ‘At least, not to me.’</p>
<p>‘You made it pretty clear to me at the training camp that you wanted distance,’ argued Kageyama. ‘So I don’t get why you’re instigating stuff with me all of a sudden. I’ve always been the one making the first move… after the training camp I got a pretty clear impression that you didn’t want me to anymore.’</p>
<p>‘I-I don’t know,’ said Hinata, and his eyes were carefully avoiding Kageyama’s. ‘I guess I wanted to instigate stuff before as well, I just didn’t have the courage until now.’</p>
<p>‘Why not?’</p>
<p>‘I didn’t really know if I wanted to, or how much I actually liked it, so I couldn’t be the one to make the first move!’ said Hinata. ‘And you’re so intense and so much better at volleyball than me. You’re a genius.’</p>
<p>Kageyama frowned deeper with every passing word.</p>
<p>‘Huh? What does me being good at volleyball have to do with us doing stuff?’ he asked, mystified.</p>
<p>‘Because you’re intense and scary, stupid!’ said Hinata, and he was clearly frustrated with having to explain out loud. ‘I didn’t think someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me.’</p>
<p>Kageyama could have laughed aloud at that statement.</p>
<p>‘You’re an idiot,’ was all he could say. ‘You have no idea how much you get into my head.’</p>
<p>Hinata's eyes widened and he tilted his head slightly to one side. </p>
<p>‘I do?’ he said, his voice lilted with awe. </p>
<p>‘You do,’ said Kageyama, with a scowl. ‘It’s annoying.’</p>
<p>‘Well, I mean,’ Hinata suddenly blushed again and averted his eyes. ‘I also think about you a lot.’</p>
<p>‘What, do you have a crush on me or something?’ asked Kageyama, dismissively.</p>
<p>‘Of course I do!’ said Hinata, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Don’t you remember that I was the one that confessed to you first?’</p>
<p>‘Well, yeah, but you never do anything first. I’m always the one that starts things between us.’</p>
<p>‘Because, well, you’re super intimidating! You’re a genius setter and everyone wants a chance to be close to you.’</p>
<p>‘That’s doubtful.’</p>
<p>Kageyama suspected that Hinata was saying nice things to him to try and make amends for their row at the training camp. He tightened his crossed arms over his chest and turned away petulantly. He didn’t know if here was anything that Hinata could say or do to make up for the seed of hurt that he had planted in Kageyama’s chest at his words from the beach.</p>
<p>‘Honestly, you’re so stupid,’ said Hinata. ‘No, seriously!’ he pressed, as Kageyama started to protest. ‘You don’t realise how special you are. It’s - it’s scary for me, okay? When you make the first move then it makes me feel nice because you chose me. You chose me out of everyone, when you could probably pick anyone you’d want in the whole world.’</p>
<p>‘And how am I supposed to know that you chose me too?’ argued Kageyama, hotly.</p>
<p>‘Because I let you do stuff like that, duh. And, one other thing,’ said Hinata, looking suddenly awkward again. ‘I-I’m sorry for saying that it would be horrible if people found out we were doing more-than-friends stuff together! It was a jerk thing to say so yeah, I’m sorry.’</p>
<p>Kageyama was taken aback by Hinata’s sudden apology and he stared at the decoy with all traces of anger gone from his face for a moment before averting his eyes.</p>
<p>‘Don’t worry about it,’ muttered Kageyama.</p>
<p>Apologies always made him feel awkward but he had heard Hinata’s and the hurt and anger that had been broiling in his chest cooled somewhat.</p>
<p>‘The reason why I said that isn’t because I think it would be such a bad thing for people to know,’ Hinata continued, ‘but because, well, I don’t want people to think that I play well because you’re going easy on me, or that the only reason I can score points is because you toss to me and we’ve got something going on together. Because I can score points no matter who’s setting! If it’s Sugawara-san or Noya-san or anyone else, not just you. I play the best with you because we can get into like a rhythm or a flow or something that I can’t really get into with anyone else on that level — maybe it’s because you’re a genius setter or because our brains connect somehow, I don’t know — all I know is that I don’t want everyone to think that just because we kiss each other and do stuff in secret, it isn’t the only reason why I’m good at volleyball!’</p>
<p>Kageyama had let Hinata talk uninterrupted and Hinata’s face was scrunched up with intensity over how he was feeling. It was clear in his tone and the rushed nature of his words that this was something he had been agonising over for some time and was probably the root of the fact that he always seemed to be warring with himself over being close with Kageyama. It was as if a puzzle piece descended from the heavens and fit into place and made all of Hinata’s weird behaviours make sense.</p>
<p>‘Don’t give yourself too much credit,’ said Kageyama. ‘You’re not that good at volleyball.’</p>
<p>‘Hey!’</p>
<p>Hinata narrowed his eyes at him but Kageyama could only smirk. There was no venom behind his words and the teasing had lightened the tension somewhat.</p>
<p>‘So, that’s why you never seemed committed to doing stuff with me,’ said Kageyama, speaking his thoughts aloud. ‘It’s been confusing the hell out of me because you always seemed to want to even when you said you didn’t; even though you were the one to tell me you liked me.’</p>
<p>‘I guess so,’ said Hinata, and he rubbed the back of his neck.</p>
<p>‘You could have told me earlier, you know,’ grumbled Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘I know!’ groaned Hinata, and his brow knitted again. ‘Sorry, it’s just kind of awkward to talk about this stuff and I guess I didn’t know how to bring it up before.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I get it,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>There was a pause before Kageyama spoke again.</p>
<p>‘What made you change your mind?’ he asked. ‘I mean, why did you bring me here?’</p>
<p>‘Well, we argued at the training camp and you’ve been so distant,’ said Hinata, slowly. ‘I’ve kind of realised that I’d rather risk people finding out than not be close to you at all. It feels like I have to make a choice between those two things and, well, I’ve made up my mind.’</p>
<p>Kageyama looked at him and he knew there was a softness in his eyes but he couldn’t hide it. Hinata was so stupid and so naïve but he was putting in effort and it made Kageyama want to both punch him and kiss him at the same time. Their equal amount of inexperience in more-than-friends relationships showed in the clunky way they tried to talk about things that were important to them but Kageyama couldn’t deny that he appreciated Hinata trying at all.</p>
<p>‘So you brought me here and asked me to touch you,’ said Kageyama, and he sighed with half-feigned exasperation. ‘You couldn’t wait until after school?’</p>
<p>Hinata shook his head from side to side.</p>
<p>‘What if someone comes in?’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘No one will come until after classes,’ said Hinata hurriedly, as if he had used the same justification on himself already. ‘I just couldn’t stop thinking about stuff in class and it was distracting me, and I thought if we just touch a little bit in here during lunch then I’ll be able to concentrate on the afternoon lesson. Makes sense, right?’</p>
<p>Kageyama hated the fact that he didn’t need telling twice. No matter how angry he had been at Hinata, the hunger that flared up in his chest at Hinata's words overrode any convictions he may have had. He had already started unbuttoning his <em>gakuran</em> as Hinata was talking, his eyes never leaving Hinata’s face, and there was a dark hunger in those eyes that seemed to make Hinata square his shoulders in an unconscious display of conviction.</p>
<p>‘W-what are you doing?’ asked Hinata, and there was a slight tremor in his voice at the rapid change in the atmosphere.</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t reply. He just draped his <em>gakuran</em> over the back of a nearby chair and closed the gap between them in two long strides. Due to their difference in height, Kageyama towered over Hinata who was looking up at the setter with an expression half of disbelief and half of desperate longing. There was that familiar flame burning behind his eyes that built in brightness with every passing moment. Hinata’s hands, which had been fidgeting with his <em>gakuran</em> hem throughout their conversation, dropped limp at his sides. Kageyama ran his fingers through the back of Hinata’s hair, twisting gently into the unruly locks, and ducked his head down to press his lips lightly against Hinata’s jaw, just below his ear. The skin there was hot against his lips and Kageyama smirked darkly upon hearing the hitch in Hinata’s breath. He felt two shaky hands grip his waist and Kageyama leaned closer until their bodies were pressed together.</p>
<p>Kageyama kissed slowly down the side of Hinata’s neck. As he did so, he slid his hand down from Hinata’s hair to his <em>gakuran</em> collar and pushed the garment off Hinata’s shoulders for it to land on the floor. Hinata jumped slightly at the sound of the garment hitting the floor but then he exhaled and relaxed into Kageyama’s touch. Kageyama was already working at the buttons of Hinata’s collared shirt. His fingers were becoming clumsy and feverish as the hunger in him grew. He yearned to feel the heat of Hinata’s skin, to see the parts of Hinata that he hid under clothing from everyone else but allowed only Kageyama to see. All the anger and resentment that had been festering inside him for the past couple of days fell away as Kageyama gave himself over to his desire for the boy before him. All it had taken was for Hinata to step forward and say what was on his mind, to explain the reasoning behind his otherwise harsh words, and Kageyama was all too ready to give in to him again. A part of Kageyama thought that it was somewhat pathetic how easy it was for Hinata to get through his wall of defensive irritation, but the other more dominant part of him knew that there was nothing to be gained from staying angry just to prove a point - in fact, there was so much more to gain from forgiveness.</p>
<p>As soon as Hinata’s shirt front was open, Kageyama wound his arms around the decoy’s waist underneath his cotton undershirt and the hunger in him grew fierce at the feel of Hinata’s warm, supple skin under his touch. Hinata gripped Kageyama’s shoulders, his back arching from the cage of Kageyama’s embrace, and tilted his head back as Kageyama bit into his neck.</p>
<p>‘Oi, don’t leave marks!’ Hinata protested, breathlessly.</p>
<p>Kageyama merely turned the bite into another kiss before drawing back to look at Hinata’s face. Hinata’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide and shining. Kageyama felt his love of that look flood his veins and dilate his pupils. No matter what had transpired between them, no matter how angry and upset he had been, everything dissipated in that moment and Kageyama felt like there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be than standing there in the clubroom with the midday sun streaming in through the window and with his arms wrapped around Hinata Shouyou.</p>
<p>He leaned down and kissed Hinata. Hinata’s lips moulded softly against the his and he locked his arms around Kageyama’s neck. Their kisses, which at first were light and gentle, quickly grew deeper with every passing moment. Hinata moved his hands to clutch at Kageyama’s shoulders, pulling him closer desperately, and Kageyama lifted Hinata onto tiptoes to press their bodies together. Their breath mingled in heady pants that drove a spike of desire through Kageyama’s heart and he felt his lust mounting. He kissed Hinata harder and faster, his hands gripping Hinata’s back. Somehow, the more he touched, the more starved Kageyama felt. His heart was pounding in his ears and all of his senses were homed in on the boy in his arms.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Hinata pulled back and they broke apart. A scowl darkened Kageyama’s face at the loss but Hinata walked backwards further into the clubroom and pulled Kageyama by the hand to follow him. He knelt down on the mat on the floor and Kageyama mirrored his movement, impatient to close the distance between them again. There was a flash of hesitation in Hinata’s face that was quickly replaced by an expression of resolve. He grabbed Kageyama by the hand and drew him roughly into another kiss. It was a hurried kiss that stirred the heat of lust in Kageyama’s stomach. He knelt forward and pushed Hinata back onto the floor until he was lying over him, hands on either side of Hinata’s head, the fingers of his left hand entwined with Hinata’s that was pressed back into the floor.</p>
<p>‘I couldn’t wait.’ The words Hinata spoke were husky and breathless. ‘I wanted to do stuff with you now, Kageyama, I couldn’t wait until after school.’</p>
<p>‘Dumbass, you have no self-control.’</p>
<p>Kageyama smirked as he spoke and pressed his body harder against Hinata’s under him. The way they were lying, Hinata was prone on his back with his knees up and feet flat on the floor; Kageyama was on his knees between Hinata’s legs, leaning over him. A thrill of excitement rushed in Kageyama’s ears as he felt the hardness pressed against his lower stomach and realised what it meant. <em>More</em>, his instincts said. Kageyama slipped his tongue into Hinata’s mouth and tasted Hinata’s own tongue, sweet and hot, pressed against his. He swallowed Hinata’s sigh and moved his hips slightly.</p>
<p>‘You remember what we did at the training camp?’ whispered Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Kageyama. As if he would ever forget for as long as he lived.</p>
<p>‘Let’s do it again,’ said Hinata.</p>
<p>His eyes were wide and honest, and Kageyama was taken by surprise. He felt oddly relieved that after their temporary distance, Hinata was the one who had caved in and was now initiating contact between them — and contact of a brazenly sexual nature at that. The thought made Kageyama’s heart pound in his ears and he swallowed hard.</p>
<p>‘You want to do it now? In here?’ he asked, lowly. ‘What if someone comes?’</p>
<p>‘We'll hear them coming before they get here,’ said Hinata, echoing Kageyama’s words from the training camp. ‘Plus, the door’s locked and I have the key.’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn't need telling twice. He knelt back on his heels and pulled Hinata by the hand into a sitting position.</p>
<p>‘What are you doing?’ asked Hinata.  </p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t respond. He just sat with his back against the wall by the desk at the back of the room and touched a patch of floor between his legs.</p>
<p>‘Come sit,’ he instructed, in a low voice.</p>
<p>Hinata moved forward and sat where Kageyama had indicated with his legs on either side of Kageyama’s waist. He wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and pulled the setter forward into a rough, needy kiss, which Kageyama returned with fiery desperation. Their breath mingled and Kageyama swallowed Hinata’s sighs, hungry for more. His sense of touch was piqued by the light pressure of Hinata’s knees resting on either side of him and he knew that the centre of Hinata's desire right there for the taking. Kageyama ran his hand up Hinata’s inner thigh, tracing the seam of his trousers, before whispering his fingertips over Hinata’s hardness. Hinata made a small noise in the back of his throat in response to the touch but he didn’t break the kiss. Kageyama bit down on Hinata’s lower lip, drawing out a heady sigh from the decoy, and he rubbed his hand over the burning shape of Hinata’s cock as it strained against the confines of his trousers. Even though they were here at Hinata’s instigation, a gnawing uncertainty made itself heard at the back of Kageyama’s mind and he knew he had to speak up and hear express words of consent from the decoy’s mouth before he could go any further.</p>
<p>‘Does that feel good?’ he murmured, his lips moving an inch from Hinata’s parted ones.</p>
<p>‘Y-Yeah, really good,’ breathed Hinata, and desire thrilled down Kageyama’s spine at the words.</p>
<p>It was all he needed to hear. Kageyama smoothed his hand up and down over the shape of Hinata’s erection. Goosebumps bloomed up Hinata’s arms and he exhaled into the space between them. Kageyama feasted his eyes hungrily on the sight of Hinata’s composure falling apart, little by little, as the mounting pleasure threatened to dominate him. Hinata leaned back and undid the button and zip of his own trousers.</p>
<p>‘You’re so impatient,’ chastised Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘We don’t have that much time!’ said Hinata, defensively, though his panting breaths and rosy cheeks gave away the extent of his need.</p>
<p>Kageyama pried Hinata’s hands away and pulled down the decoy’s school trousers and briefs for him. He wasn’t about to let Hinata take the lead. For some reason, taking control had become something of a point of pride for Kageyama, as if he needed to prove to Hinata that Kageyama alone was capable of making him feel good. Hinata’s breath hitched sharply in his chest as Kageyama whispered the tips of his long fingers up the underside of his shaft, and Kageyama couldn’t help feeling a thrill of lust at the sight of Hinata’s rigid cock quivering with anticipation. A thread of precome rolled slowly down its length and Kageyama licked his fingers before taking Hinata’s cock in his hand and stroking it slowly, almost lovingly, aided by the slipperiness of the precome and his own saliva. Hinata’s composure shattered and he leaned back on his hand, breathing hard. Kageyama’s eyes burned bright at the sight of Hinata falling apart under his touch and loved to see what he could do to the boy that would never show himself like this to anyone else in the world. A faint memory returned to him, lilted in the lazy drawl of Kuroo’s voice: “<em>Just be sure to give something to the Chibi-chan that he can’t get from anyone else. Do something for him that no one else can do and he’ll always come back</em>.” As it turned out, the Nekoma captain had been right. Providing Hinata with pleasure such as this was the reason the decoy had sought him out. It was the reason that Hinata seemed determined to come back and to keep trying, no matter how many times their attempts at closeness ended in disaster. Kageyama could feel the rock-hard proof of it under his hand and the throbbing heat of it radiating through his fingers. He could also feel his own erection pushing at the waistband of his underpants and knew that he would have to deal with it at some point on his own later on. If only he continued following Kuroo’s advice, Kageyama was confident that Hinata would keep coming back to him for more and a part of him secretly wondered if Hinata would eventually give something to him in return.</p>
<p>Blush burned in Hinata’s cheeks and wetness smarted in the corners of his eyes as Kageyama tightened his grip slightly and quickened the pace of his hand. Hinata took hold of Kageyama’s elbow as if in an attempt to ground himself but his pupils were blown wide as he watched Kageyama’s hand move over him and his breathing became permeated by small moans. Kageyama feasted his eyes upon the sight as if he were starved and watched with an intensity that he usually only had when playing volleyball. The vision of Hinata, hidden away in the corner of the clubroom, panting and twitching as Kageyama worked at him, was so infinitely erotic that Kageyama was determined to commit every moment to memory. Hinata’s stomach muscles began to tense up and he clasped his own hand over Kageyama’s as if without thinking, and together they quickened the pace even further. Kageyama’s heart pounded in his ears at the sight of Hinata’s smaller hand wrapped around his own and the throbbing head of Hinata's cock at the centre of it all.</p>
<p>‘Shit, K-Kageyama,’ stammered Hinata. ‘You’re going to make me —’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes drank in the sight of Hinata coming apart at the seams as he gave in to the wave of pleasure that had built up inside him. The decoy squeezed his eyes shut as liquid heat shot out over their hands and Kageyama continued stroking steadily, carrying Hinata through his release until the decoy let go and slumped forward against Kageyama's shoulder, his breath coming ragged and heavy. He pressed his eyes into the crook of Kageyama’s shoulder for a moment as he gathered himself together and Kageyama rested his other hand lightly on Hinata’s thigh. He couldn’t help feeling satisfied with himself at his ability to pull Hinata apart like that. It made him feel a curious sense of accomplishment that wasn’t unlike winning a particularly important volleyball game. He sat still, savouring the feeling of Hinata utterly relaxed and vulnerable in his arms as well as the sticky heat in his right hand, until Hinata made to get up and they each cleaned themselves up in the sink by the row of lockers. There was a dusting of pink in Hinata’s cheeks that endured as zipped up his trousers but the blatant embarrassment that he had expressed at the training camp appeared to be lacking. The bell rang, sounding awfully loud in the quiet of the clubroom, which caused Hinata to jump. Kageyama shrugged into his <em>gakuran</em> and turned to face Hinata.</p>
<p>‘We have to go to class,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ Hinata agreed. ‘We do.’</p>
<p>Neither of them made a move to leave. Kageyama stepped forward and captured Hinata’s lips in a kiss again, staying there for a moment before drawing back and looking down at the decoy with smouldering eyes. Whenever they shared something so utterly private like kissing or touching that no one else knew about, Kageyama felt his heart swell larger with affection for the decoy.</p>
<p>‘Walk home with me after training,’ he said. ‘I’ll get you a yoghurt from the vending machines on the way.’</p>
<p>Hinata grinned and there was a hint of smugness which instinctively caused Kageyama to scowl despite the fact that he had grown very fond of that smile.</p>
<p>‘Sure,’ said Hinata, lightly.</p>
<p>Kageyama moved away. He buttoned up his <em>gakuran</em> and subtlety adjusted himself in his trousers. Hinata, still slightly red in the face, elected to carry his <em>gakuran</em> over his arm in front of himself. He made to open the door but Kageyama called out to stop him.</p>
<p>‘Wait,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘What?’</p>
<p>Hinata paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back. Kageyama reached out and ran his fingers gently through Hinata’s hair in an attempt to create something civil out of the bird nest that had formed after their passion from before. His hand lingered there for a moment, savouring the gentle touch after their moment of heated passion before, and felt a curious sense of relief wash over him. The argument they had had at the training camp now seemed so petty and utterly baseless with hindsight and he hadn’t even begun to understand just how much he had been missing their closeness. The affection he felt towards the decoy in that moment mingled with gratitude at the fact that Hinata had opened up and spoken his thoughts. Physical vulnerability was one thing but nothing had prepared Kageyama for the fact that emotional vulnerability was just as terrifying, if not more so. <em>At least I have you</em>, he thought, as he gazed at Hinata under his touch, and Kageyama had no way of knowing that Hinata was thinking the very same thing in that moment. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Season Qualifier</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘As you all know, tomorrow is the first qualifier of the season that will determine whether or not we can move on to play in the Interhigh Preliminaries in October,’ said Takeda-sensei.</p>
<p>Karasuno volleyball team was seated in an untidy semicircle around the bespectacled teacher, who was standing and smiling, and Coach Ukai, who was seated and leaning forward with his hands clasped in front of himself. It was a warm Friday afternoon and the gym doors had been left open to allow a gentle breeze to stir the air inside. The whine of cicadas and chattering birds drifted in to add background ambience to Takeda-sensei’s speech. They were all in shorts and t-shirts, Nishinoya wearing a particularly violent yellow one with the words <em>Spirit of the Team</em> emblazoned down the back in print calligraphy, and Kageyama’s heart rate was gradually slowing as they had been seated for a couple of minutes at the end of a particularly rigorous training session. At Takeda-sensei’s words, the air in the room shifted as if a current of electricity suddenly bolted through them all. The first real competition of the season was only a day away. They hadn’t played a real match with actual stakes in months and each player was itching to don his uniform and play in Kamei Arena in Sendai again. Kageyama himself felt braced by a very particular type of readiness that he only felt before official games.</p>
<p>‘We will be travelling to Sendai by train so everyone please come to the station by eight o’clock,’ the teacher continued. ‘I’ll be waiting for you in the city with transportation from the station to the arena.’</p>
<p>‘Right!’ chorused the team in unison.</p>
<p>‘The team we’re playing against is Ogi Nishi High,’ said Ukai. ‘We’ve watched through their plays in last season’s Preliminaries so there’s nothing to feel nervous about. Let’s just get through tomorrow so that we can go on to the real prelims in a couple of months’ time. Rest up, eat a light breakfast and I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.’</p>
<p>‘You’re staying, right, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata, looking around immediately with an expression that told Kageyama that he was still committed to training.</p>
<p>‘Do you even need to ask?’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>He got to his feet and Hinata followed as he made his way towards the net, scooping up a volleyball as he went and tossing it lightly in his hands.</p>
<p>‘You can stay a little bit longer but remember, rest is just as important,’ said Ukai, after their retreating backs.</p>
<p>‘We’ll only stay for an hour or so,’ said Hinata, with a sunny grin that the coach saw through instantly.</p>
<p>‘I’ve heard that one before,’ muttered Daichi, loudly enough for them to hear.</p>
<p>‘An hour tops, promise!’ squeaked Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, yeah, happy training,’ said Ukai.</p>
<p>The rest of the teammates filed out of the gym until Hinata and Kageyama were left alone. Kageyama’s senses seemed particularly heightened at the prospect of tomorrow’s match and he felt like he could still practice for hours despite Hinata’s promise.</p>
<p>‘If we’ve only got an hour, we’d better get to it,’ he said.  ‘I’ll toss to you.’</p>
<p>At Kageyama's words, Hinata immediately composed himself and set his face.</p>
<p>‘Right!’ he exclaimed.</p>
<p>They practiced for an hour before agreeing that pushing their luck with their teammates’ patience wasn’t worth the risk and decided to pack up. Shafts of late-afternoon sunlight streamed in through the high western windows and the clouds visible through the windows were shades of pink and gold. Throughout their training session, Hinata the Teammate was the person with whom Kageyama was playing. The thought of anything more hadn’t crossed his mind that had been too focussed to consider anything other than the distance between himself and the ball and Hinata at all times. Once they had cleaned up and gathered their things, however, the possibility of Hinata the Partner descended upon him as it usually did in moments of respite. In the run up to the qualifying rounds, Kageyama had fallen into a state of pure focus on training and preparation to get through to the next round of Preliminaries. He spent his days with early morning jogs, lessons throughout the day, training into the evening and homework or extra practice at night. This intense routine left little time for anything romantic with Hinata and nothing out of the ordinary had befallen them since Hinata had dragged him to the clubroom during a lunch break at the beginning of term.</p>
<p>Kageyama pulled on his Karasuno jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder. They stepped down into the courtyard and Hinata slid the gym door closed behind him. A light breeze swirled around the courtyard and the first of the evening’s stars twinkled in the eastern sky.</p>
<p>‘Um, I’ll see you tomorrow,’ said Hinata, and the sheepishness of his smile showed that he, too, was feeling the weight of being alone together.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes darted around the courtyard before he brushed a soft kiss over Hinata’s lips. Hinata kissed him back instantly before Kageyama straightened up and buried his hands into his pockets.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, see you tomorrow.’</p>
<p>Kageyama walked home without a backwards glance despite the burning in his cheeks. This wasn’t the time to break his focus by meddling with a teammate in ways that could affect their on-court synchronisation. The events that had transpired at the training camp had left Kageyama feeling confused, restless and vaguely irritated; and no matter how much he tried to convince himself that this thing with Hinata didn’t affect their ability to play together, he couldn’t deny the effect it had on his ability to focus. Setting required utmost concentration and clarity. It required clear thinking and faith in his teammates. His mind had been anything but clear during and after the training camp and he was almost glad to have a break from spending time with Hinata outside of the gym. Their lunch break in the clubroom had assured him that everything was alright between them — there were no residual hard feelings left over after their argument on the beach and Hinata made it clear as day that he wanted to be as close to Kageyama as Kageyama wanted in return despite their commitment to secrecy. Now that Kageyama had understood and made peace with the fact, he could take time to himself and focus on training without feeling them drift apart.</p>
<p>At training, Kageyama couldn’t help the way his eyes followed Hinata and the thrill of excitement that ran through him whenever they made a particularly good play, or when Hinata looked at him in a certain way, or when he made an especially impressive spike or block. No matter how stupid and annoying Hinata could be, his raw athletic ability, stamina, speed and drive to improve were more attractive to Kageyama than ever before and only continued to draw more and more attention from his subconscious. Almost every day after training, Kageyama had to force himself to turn around and walk home without dragging Hinata along with him. There was an important competition coming up and he had to take any and all steps necessary in order to be sure that every member of Karasuno would be in top form to play on Saturday and the furthest away as possible from distractions. Wrapping himself up in Hinata was the opposite of what Kageyama knew he ought to be doing in the lead up to a competition, so he kept his distance. Hinata seemed to be feeling somewhat similar as, despite catching Kageyama’s eye more than usual, he didn’t make any more attempts to engage the setter after their lunch in the clubroom. The unspoken mutual understanding seemed to be that now wasn’t the time to fool around with one another; no matter how badly they might want to be together, the importance of winning at the qualifier was the most important thing in their lives at that moment. Volleyball would always take precedence. They had both understood that from the start. Therefore during their days apart, Kageyama felt positively starved of closeness with Hinata. The decoy’s presence was like a beacon flashing around him at all times and Kageyama was aware of their proximity constantly despite being unconscious of the effort it took to focus on him. To relieve his frustration at the distance, Kageyama poured his heart and soul into every training session, honing his skills over and over again until he was worn out enough to fall asleep at night without his whirring brain keeping him awake.</p>
<p>Saturday morning dawned bright and humid, and Kageyama woke early to take a brisk jog before leaving for the station. He packed his black and orange official volleyball uniform into his backpack along with his black sport shoes before donning his Karasuno team tracksuit and making his way to the train station. He wasn’t nervous. He never was before matches. The imminence of an official match filled him with with a curious clarity and he had unwavering faith that his training wouldn’t betray him. Most of the team were already there when he arrived; they only had to wait for a tardy Tanaka who came sprinting up at the last minute, apologising profusely. Takeda-sensei had gone ahead already to get the minibus rental so Ukai took charge of the team in his stead for the time being. After the train journey, they stepped out of the station in Sendai and Kageyama was suddenly struck by the memory of the last time he had been standing in that spot: when they had visited the city for Tanabata Festival during the summer holiday. It had been at that festival, when the city had come alive with performances, music and colourful paper crafts, that he and Hinata had kissed for the first time. The street view that greeted them now was plain and totally unremarkable compared to how it had looked during the festival but the leap in Kageyama’s heart told him that the memory of that kiss still burned bright in his subconscious. He quickly pushed it from his mind. He had to stay collected. He avoided looking at Hinata and kept his face impassive as they made their way towards the street where Takeda-sensei was awaiting them with their transportation.</p>
<p>Even though Kamei Arena was a familiar sight to Kageyama by now, it never failed to send a sense of excitement pumping through his veins. It had been months since their crushing defeat at the hands of Aoba Johsai; they had trained relentlessly through the summer, played countless practice matches with so many different teams that finally — finally — he felt himself gripped by a roaring eagerness to show the skill of Karasuno to the rest of the prefecture. In the back of his mind, he was already convinced that they were going to win. It was as if he knew the result already and just had to play through the motions to reach that end. Losing wasn’t a possibility that occurred to him. Hinata was bouncing on the balls of his feet with every step as he walked beside Kageyama. His fists were clenched and he was positively radiating excitement.</p>
<p>‘It’s just the qualifier,’ said Kageyama, with an irritated scowl. ‘No need to get too worked up.’</p>
<p>‘I know, I know,’ said Hinata. ‘I just can’t help getting excited whenever we come here. The city gym is so cool!’</p>
<p>‘It reminds me of losing against Aoba Johsai,’ drawled Tsukishima.</p>
<p>‘It reminds me of beating Date Tech High,’ said Nishinoya, looking just as excited as Hinata. ‘That was so long ago but I remember it like it was yesterday.’</p>
<p>‘I don’t think I’ll forget the look on that Aone guy’s face until the day I die,’ sighed Tanaka, wistfully.</p>
<p>The gym lobby was buzzing with players in coloured jerseys and spectators winding their way through the crowds. Most of the teams they had played against in the last Preliminaries weren’t there. Being the qualifier, it was mostly lower-level and newer teams competing to get into the actual Preliminaries that would take place in October. They made their way as a group to the changing rooms and Kageyama suppressed a smirk at the awestruck looks that followed them. There was something about the all-black Karasuno tracksuit uniform that other teams found intimidating. In the changing room, Kageyama stripped down with the others and pulled on his orange and black jersey with the number nine emblazoned on the back. Beside him, a shirtless Hinata was picking balls of fluff off his jersey. From the corner of his eye, Kageyama saw the fine peachy hairs on Hinata’s bare shoulder and the contour of his collarbone. It had been so long since he had seen Hinata without clothes that the sight of his skin made Kageyama’s heart thud in his ears but he pushed the feeling aside and pulled on his volleyball shoes. They could be close after the competition was over. Kageyama just had to be patient.</p>
<p>By now, the volleyball courts in the arena were familiar enough that, after a couple of minutes of warm-ups, Kageyama fell into an easy rhythm. In the back of his mind, he knew he was tossing in order to draw that fierce, fiery look out of Hinata’s eyes. He yearned to see the light of competition, the drive to win in Hinata’s face that he loved second only to winning. As per his prediction, Ogi Nishi High soon proved relatively easy to beat. They were a team with attitude, that was for sure, but there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Kageyama carried the team to victory. His setting was unparalleled, his precision on a genius level, and no one else could know that it was all for Hinata. For the first half of the game, Kageyama waited for the right moment to set up their quick attack. He bided his time, luring their opponents into a false sense of security, until the timing was perfect. He didn’t need to signal to Hinata. He didn’t even need to look at him. Kageyama knew with utmost certainty that Hinata’s hand would be there, exactly where it needed to be, to complete his attack. He saw a flash of orange in his periphery, saw Hinata’s cat-like eyes calling for the toss as he made his leap of faith, and in a fraction of a second the double <em>smack</em> of impact blew like a gust of wind over their opponents and a shocked silence followed that was broken only by the referee’s whistle blowing for the point. Hinata grinned widely at him.</p>
<p>‘Took you long enough,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Don’t test me,’ Kageyama retorted.</p>
<p>But there was no anger behind his words. How could there be? Hinata was looking stupidly happy to have scored the point and their opponents were all muttering behind their hands that the god-like quick was real and not an exaggerated story as many of them had been lead to believe.</p>
<p>In the end, Karasuno won two sets to zero. Ogi Nishi High had lost valiantly and the teams bowed and thanked one another for playing. They filed out to the hallway and slowly prepared to head back to Karasuno as Shimizu and Yachi gathered up the team’s belongings. Every member of the team was feeling the effect of having won an official match. Nishnoya was practically bouncing off Asahi’s shoulders as he praised the ace’s spikes and even Tsukishima was smiling slightly as he chatted with Yamaguchi. No matter how much the blond-haired middle blocker pretended not to care about volleyball, he couldn’t hide the fact he hated losing and clearly enjoyed beating others - it was written all over his face. Kageyama, too, felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and there was a lightness to his gait. He had had no doubts about their ability to win but it was still satisfying to see his faith realised. Hinata, on the other hand, was curiously quiet. He walked beside Kageyama looking straight ahead as if lost in thought despite his teammates chatting around him.</p>
<p>Ukai stopped walking and checked his phone.</p>
<p>‘Takeda-sensei will go and bring the minibus around to the front entrance so that we don’t need to carry all of our equipment,’ he said. ‘We’ve got some time so let’s go to the front and wait for him there.’</p>
<p>‘I’ll go to the bathroom first,’ said Hinata, quickly.</p>
<p>‘Okay, we’ll be outside,’ said Daichi, over his shoulder.</p>
<p>Kageyama made to head towards the entrance with the others. As Hinata walked by, he brushed past the setter and his eyes flashed upwards to catch Kageyama’s in a pointed glance before looking away. Kageyama’s heart leapt. He knew that look. The sound of Hinata’s footsteps retreated behind him and, after a moment, Kageyama turned on his heel to follow him. He dug his hands into his pockets and felt his pulse thudding in his ears. There weren’t as many people around anymore now that the last match was over but there were still students and spectators milling about the corridors. If he and Hinata got caught doing anything unsavoury together in a place like this, it wouldn’t be long before word would spread to rival teams and everyone would find out about them. Even still, the thought of turning aside and going to wait for the minibus with the others didn’t even enter his mind. To Kageyama, the risk would always be worth it. He kept his eyes fixed on Hinata’s back and followed him to the boys’ restroom. The restroom, comprised of a long counter of sinks to the right of which was a row of cubicles, was empty, much to Kageyama’s relief. As soon as the door swung shut behind him, Hinata grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the last cubicle.</p>
<p>‘Can’t you wait until we get back to Karasuno?’ asked Kageyama, irritated at the decoy’s impatience.  </p>
<p>‘No,’ said Hinata, bluntly. ‘Hurry up!’</p>
<p>‘Shut up, don’t rush me.’</p>
<p>The platonic camaraderie that they upheld throughout their day of volleyball fell away instantly as Kageyama locked the cubicle door behind his back with one hand and the other hand grabbed Hinata by the waist. Hinata was already stepping forward, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s neck, and standing on tip toes to reach his lips. Kageyama frowned into the kiss. He couldn’t deny the fact that he found Hinata’s insistence slightly endearing despite also being annoying, but there was a drive behind Hinata’s movements that took Kageyama by surprise. He allowed himself to be tugged down into the decoy’s arms, taking in the eagerness of Hinata’s hands and mouth, and he wondered where all of this was coming from. Hinata kissed him desperately, clutching at the folds of Kageyama’s volleyball jersey, the satiny fabric slipping through his fingers. Kageyama’s surprise was quickly overtaken by desire as Hinata's lips parted under his and he tasted the sweetness of the decoy’s mouth with a heat that he hadn’t felt in days. As soon as the fire in the pit of his stomach was stoked, Kageyama grabbed Hinata by the shoulders and pushed him roughly back against the cubicle wall. Hinata whimpered softly at the impact but didn’t break the kiss. He grabbed Kageyama’s hand and pulled it down over the front of his volleyball shorts.</p>
<p>‘You’re hard already?’ Kageyama murmured, a dark smirk playing around his lips.  </p>
<p>‘Shut up! You can’t blame me when you’re kissing me like that, it’s been ages.’</p>
<p>A thrill of pleasure ran up Kageyama’s spine. He was forced to admit to himself that, yes, it had been a little while since their last close physical contact due to the fact that he had been so focussed on preparing for the Qualifiers and here Hinata was, shoving Kageyama’s hand against himself in the confines of the bathroom cubicle, obviously more starved of contact than the setter had realised. A sudden whim gripped Kageyama and he acted on it before his mind could fully wrap around what he had decided to do. He knelt down in front of Hinata, smoothing his hands down the decoy’s thighs as he did so. Hinata’s volleyball shorts slid under his touch and Kageyama flashed a glance up at the decoy before kissing just above where his black kneepad was strapped around his leg. Hinata was watching him with surprise alighted in his otherwise cat-like eyes and his parted lips were shining.</p>
<p>‘W-What are you doing, Kageyama?!’ hissed Hinata, gripping Kageyama’s hair.</p>
<p>‘Kissing you here,’ replied Kageyama, lowly. ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’</p>
<p>He could see the bulge in Hinata’s shorts right in front of his face and his lips pressed against Hinata's skin. Hunger stirred in his stomach at the sight and, though he knew that what he was doing was utterly unprecedented, he knew that all he could do in that moment was act without giving himself time to think. While one hand held the back of Hinata’s thigh, the fingers there caressing his curling leg hairs, the other smoothed up Hinata’s erection, causing the decoy to let out a shuddering sigh. <em>Keep going</em>, said the voice in the back of Kageyama’s mind. <em>Don’t stop</em>. He was too far gone to consider the gravity of what he was doing. He couldn’t understand the reality of anything other than the bulge in front of his face and the pressure building between his legs.</p>
<p>Kageyama laced his long fingers into the elastic of Hinata’s volleyball shorts and lowered them slowly until they slid down around the decoy’s ankles. Hinata’s light blue briefs were revealed beneath and, spurred on by the wild pounding in his ribcage, Kageyama pressed his lips against the shape of Hinata’s shaft that was carving a great contour at the front of his underwear. The fingers in Kageyama’s hair gripped tighter and he heard a sharp inhale from above him. He looked up to see Hinata staring at him, half in disbelief and half with burning desire. A flame was alight in his face as he looked down at where Kageyama was knelt before him - it was the same flame that burned when he was playing volleyball, the same look that Kageyama had spent the whole match trying to draw out of him and here Hinata was, looking at him like that of his own accord. Kageyama kept going. He couldn’t stop. He kissed hungrily against the shape of Hinata’s cock and savoured the rock-hard heat beneath his lips.</p>
<p>The sound of the bathroom door swinging open rent through the air like glass shattering in the night and Kageyama’s heart leapt into his throat.</p>
<p>‘…next week if you think it’s a good idea.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, totally! It’s not like Ruka would have plans anyway.’</p>
<p>‘You should ask her just to be sure.’</p>
<p>Two boys had entered the bathroom mid-conversation. One went in to a cubicle two doors down from where Hinata and Kageyama were hiding and the other lingered at the sinks. The sound of running water and footsteps echoed around the tiled room, along with laughter and their continued conversation. Kageyama and Hinata locked eyes, Hinata looking terrified and Kageyama keeping his face carefully impassive, his lips mere inches from the front of Hinata’s underpants. The only thing louder than the sounds of the two boys moving around the restroom was the sound of Kageyama’s heartbeat thundering in his ears.</p>
<p>‘It’s not like she replies to my messages anyway.’</p>
<p>‘Just ask Fukushi, he’ll help you out.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, right! He’s been trying to keep me away from her for ages, don’t you remember?’</p>
<p>‘You keep saying that but I just don’t see it...’</p>
<p>Their voices faded as they exited the bathroom and Hinata and Kageyama simultaneously exhaled in relief. Kageyama understood the moment to be over and got to his feet.</p>
<p>‘Takeda-sensei’s probably brought the minibus around by now,’ he said.</p>
<p>Hinata nodded for a little too long, a strangely vacant expression on his face. Kageyama didn’t care. He wanted to take Hinata then and there into his arms but it wasn't the right time. Frustration at the interruption mounted inside of him with every passing moment and he realised that he was tired of having to deal with the edge of danger that so often accompanied their more-than-friends time together. He wanted Hinata and he wanted him in peace, with no time pressure or chances of someone walking in on them.</p>
<p>‘Come to my place when we get back,’ he said. It wasn’t a question.</p>
<p>Hinata looked up at him and his expression seemed somewhat timid as if the close encounter had doused the fire that had spurred him on before.</p>
<p>‘You look so intense, Kageyama, it’s freaking me out!’ he said, reproachfully.</p>
<p>‘<em>Tsk</em>, just come.’</p>
<p>‘Okay, okay.’</p>
<p>‘Good. Let’s go, otherwise they’ll wonder where we’ve been.’</p>
<p>Hinata unlocked the cubicle door and stepped out, looking around furtively despite the fact that they were clearly alone. Kageyama followed him and, before Hinata could reach the bathroom door, grabbed him around the waist and pulled him into another rough kiss. Hinata made a noise of surprise and pushed himself away with an exaggerated huff of irritation. Kageyama, smirking, followed him out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>The rest of the team were already in the minibus when they got to the car park.</p>
<p>‘What took you guys so long?’ asked Daichi, as they boarded. ‘We were about to call you.’</p>
<p>‘Sorry, stomach ache,’ said Hinata, with an embarrassed grin.</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Daichi raised a bemused eyebrow. ‘But you had nothing to be nervous about, we won already.’</p>
<p>‘I guess it was just the excitement, that’s all!’</p>
<p>‘The workings of your stomach are so weird.’</p>
<p>Hinata sat next to Kageyama, the setter sitting oddly stiffly in a poor attempt to act natural, and Takeda-sensei drove them back to the train station while Coach Ukai discussed the match from where he was seated in the front seat. Hinata stuck by Kageyama’s side the whole way, whether intentionally or subconsciously Kageyama didn’t know, and when they got Karasuno station they waved goodbye to the others and only vaguely pretended to go their separate ways before rejoining and making their way to Kageyama’s house together. Kageyama’s heart was racing and the thrill of their shared secret made him all the more eager to get home. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had in mind when he had told Hinata to come to his house. He had no specific reason or plan that was driving his actions. All he knew was that he wanted to be alone with Hinata as soon as possible. Something had been started in the bathroom at Kamei Arena that had been interrupted and Kageyama felt that he wouldn’t be able to get past it without seeing it through to whatever end it had been leading him. He didn’t know exactly what he had been about to do but he had to keep going. It was as if he had no choice in the matter. The casual silence that had fallen between them slowly turned pointed the further they got from the station and Hinata obviously felt that he should say something to ease the tension.</p>
<p>‘That first quick today was –’</p>
<p>‘My parents aren’t home,’ said Kageyama, cutting Hinata off. ‘I hope you don’t mind.’</p>
<p>Hinata stared at him before averting his eyes, a strong shade of crimson firing up in his cheeks.</p>
<p>‘No, it’s okay,’ he said. ‘I kind of assumed.’</p>
<p>Though they had walked the same route and spent so many evenings doing school work in Kageyama’s bedroom, this time felt noticeably different. There was no pretence over why they were going to Kageyama’s house. There would be no messing about pretending to do school work and waiting for an opportunity for closeness to arise — this time, they both knew exactly why they were going there. The blush that had coloured Hinata’s cheeks before persisted in his face as he watched the path roll by under his feet. Kageyama dug his hands into his pockets and looked ahead with unseeing eyes.</p>
<p>‘I’m glad the qualifier is over,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Me too,’ said Hinata, quickly, seemingly glad at a break in the tension. ‘It was kind of stressing me out, I don’t know why.’</p>
<p>‘Maybe because you’re always nervous about official matches?’</p>
<p>‘Maybe…’ Hinata sighed and looked up at the sky. ‘Also because you’ve seemed so distant or something.’</p>
<p>‘Huh?’ Kageyama frowned.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, like, you’ve been so focussed on practice that I’ve kind of felt like I can’t even talk to you,’ said Hinata, and he laughed sheepishly. ‘You’ve been extra intense lately, it’s been kind of creepy.’</p>
<p>Kageyama’s brow furrowed deeper at Hinata’s words and understanding of the decoy’s eagerness in the bathroom earlier kindled in his mind. It wasn’t surprising to hear that he had been so captivated by training that he had neglected other aspects of his life - it certainly wasn’t the first time - but he still felt somewhat stupid for not having noticed just how wrapped up he had become in practice in the past few days.</p>
<p>‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I didn’t realise.’</p>
<p>‘I’m not saying it's a bad thing,’ shrugged Hinata. ‘I’m just glad we won so that you can go back to being not weird. If that’s even possible for you.’</p>
<p>‘I was just trying to focus on the match,’ argued Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, well I was too but you were on another level, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, and he sounded almost awe-struck. ‘I think no one in the gymnasium could keep their eyes off you.’</p>
<p>Heat started in Kageyama’s cheeks and he turned away from Hinata as he walked.</p>
<p>‘Shut up…’ he muttered.</p>
<p>‘It’s true! You’re a genius.’</p>
<p>‘Why are you being a kiss-arse all of a sudden?’ asked Kageyama, and he eyed Hinata suspiciously.</p>
<p>‘What, can’t I be nice to you without a reason?’ said Hinata, defensively. ‘That’s what people in our situation do — they say nice things to each other, y’know, for support and stuff.’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know anyone else in a situation like ours.’</p>
<p>‘Well, I guess that's true… But still!’</p>
<p>They argued lightly until they reached Kageyama’s house and then the reality of what they were doing descended upon them again like a heavy cloud. Even though Kageyama was used to being alone, this time he was particularly grateful that his house was sure to be empty. They kicked off their shoes in the entryway and agreed that washing after the match was the first thing they would do so that they could change out of their volleyball uniforms. The idea of bathing with Hinata flashed through Kageyama’s mind but he pushed it aside immediately. There was no way he could even make a suggestion like that; it was much too forward. But he couldn’t deny that something was going to happen. The presence of Hinata in his house carried a certain weight that wasn’t normally there when they had study sessions together. This time seemed somehow irrevocably different and Kageyama realised that, for the first time that day, he felt nervous. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so this chapter originally wasn't going to end here but it ended up being way too long so it's been split into two, therefore I'm leaving this one on a ~sexy cliffhanger~ ... I'm terribly sorry. I promise you won't have to wait another week for the next chapter, though! I'll try to get it uploaded by Saturday or Sunday, even though my uploading times have become completely random but I don't take too much stress about it because I know that you've got the patience of a saint. Again, thank you so very much for taking the time to read and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even if it continues still into the next one - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Dinner at the Kageyama Residence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama sat at his kitchen table, flicking aimlessly through his phone with his chin resting in his hand. He could hear the faint <em>whoosh</em> of running water in the bathroom down the hall and the sound effects of whatever program was playing on the television in the living room. After they had ditched their bags in Kageyama’s bedroom, Hinata had insisted that Kageyama wash first seeing as it was his house, so the setter’s hair was damp and he was comfortably dressed in a pair of grey trackpants and a dark blue t-shirt. Even though it was a Saturday night, his parents weren’t home, they had just won the first important volleyball match of the semester and he had no pressing assignments due, Kageyama felt restless. He kept thinking back to the match a couple of hours ago and his and Hinata's interaction in the bathroom cubicle afterwards. Kageyama’s nerves had felt wired since then and he hadn’t been able to properly calm down. He had to admit to himself that Hinata affected his nerves in a way that volleyball couldn’t, probably because dealing with Hinata was often unpredictable and something at which he was not particularly adept unlike his abilities concerning the sport. With volleyball, Kageyama had years of training and matches to fall back on and assure him of his skill; with Hinata, he had awkward touching, arguments, stilted conversations and passionate making out to contend with, all of which were equally confusing. An eagerness had thrilled up inside him when they had been together in the gym bathroom and it continued to remain unsatisfied which caused him to bounce his knee under the table and frown absently as his eyes flicked over the school newsletter without the content registering in his head. He didn’t know exactly what his body had been leading him to do in the bathroom. He didn’t know how far he was intending to go had they not been interrupted. He wondered if they would be able to pick up where they left off or if the moment was gone and Hinata would merely shower, eat and leave. As soon as the thought came into his head, Kageyama pushed it aside. There was no way that Hinata would leave without doing anything. Despite the confusion surrounding their more-than-friends relationship, Kageyama was sure that Hinata had come to his house for a reason - and that reason was to continue where they left off in the bathroom. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come.</p>
<p>‘Um, your shirt’s kind of big on me, Kageyama.’ </p>
<p>Kageyama looked up and felt his heart leap in his chest. Hinata was standing in the doorway in Kageyama’s white cotton t-shirt looking slightly embarrassed. The sleeves were baggy and almost down to his elbows and the collar swooped down below his collarbones. His hair was an unruly damp mop that he had obviously attempted to towel dry before leaving the bathroom after bathing. Kageyama put his phone down on the kitchen table and got to his feet. The sight of Hinata’s smaller frame drowning in Kageyama’s clothes made the setter’s heart thud in his ears and he was seized by the urge to stride over, grab Hinata by the shoulders and kiss him, but he forced himself to stay calm. <em>All in good time</em>, he thought. There were more pressing matters to attend to. He breathed steadily through his nose in an attempt to cool his nerves that were screaming at him to touch Hinata.</p>
<p>‘Don’t complain,’ he said. ‘You’re more than welcome to wear your sweaty uniform if you want.’</p>
<p>‘It’s fine!’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘Thanks for letting me borrow it!’</p>
<p>Kageyama scowled.</p>
<p>‘Do you want to eat something?’ he asked, gruffly.</p>
<p>‘Yes, please,’ sighed Hinata. ‘I’m starving.’</p>
<p>‘Alright. Prepare to be treated to my special home-alone dinner.’</p>
<p>Hinata cocked his head to one side.</p>
<p>‘What is it?’ he asked, narrowing his eyes in obvious suspicion of Kageyama’s cooking skill.</p>
<p>‘Instant noodles with extra bits!’ Kageyama announced.</p>
<p>Hinata looked at him blankly. Kageyama kicked himself. It didn’t sound nearly as impressive as he had intended. Kageyama wasn’t the best cook in the world, even he could admit that, but he was excellent at modifying instant noodles to make easy and filling meals when his parents were away (which was more often than not).</p>
<p>‘You have to fry the tofu, okay?’ he said, roughly.</p>
<p>‘Sure,’ grinned Hinata. ‘What else is in it?’</p>
<p>‘Eggs, spring onions and seven-spice mix,’ said Kageyama. ‘The more protein the better. You can choose the instant noodle flavour if you want.’</p>
<p>He opened a tall pantry and Hinata trotted over to peer in. There were stacks of various noodle bowls and packets fitted neatly inside on one of the shelves.</p>
<p>‘Um, there’s yakisoba, teriyaki, tan-men, chilli tomato, pork miso or tonkotsu ramen,’ listed Kageyama, as he shuffled through the various cups.</p>
<p>‘Oooh, yakisoba!’ said Hinata, immediately. ‘No wait, pork miso! No, no, yakisoba, definitely yakisoba.’</p>
<p>Kageyama shot Hinata a look of irritation before extracting two yakisoba bowls.</p>
<p>‘The tofu’s in the fridge, I’ll make the eggs,’ he said.</p>
<p>The pair got to work preparing their evening meal. Hinata quickly learned his way around the kitchen and fried the tofu expertly, much to Kageyama's annoyance. The setter eyed the delicate brown colour and crispy coating on each of the tofu cubes and inwardly fought the fact that he was impressed. As Kageyama whisked the eggs and heated up a pan, Hinata chatted animatedly about the day’s match and all the different plays he felt worthy of recounting (which seemed like all of them). Kageyama watched Hinata waving his arms about, the decoy’s eyes alight and a persistent grin on his face, as he demonstrated one of their opponent’s blocks in slow motion, but Kageyama was barely listening. Hinata stretched his arms up towards the ceiling and a familiar image shimmered in the forefront of Kageyama’s mind: Hinata, airborne, his black-and-orange jersey billowing around him in the wake of his leap, hand outstretched to meet the ball. Kageyama remembered witnessing that sight on the court as he had set the ball to Hinata. He could see it now in front of his mind’s eyes like a mirage. In those moments when he set a perfect toss to Hinata, everything else in the gym faded to black until Hinata was the only thing that he could see. In those moments that lasted both a fraction of a second and an eternity, nothing else mattered. As Hinata dipped down towards the kitchen floor to mimic a receive, still chattering away and oblivious to the workings of Kageyama’s thoughts, it struck Kageyama that his mind was wired as if he was still in the middle of the match. His brain was focussed and his senses were alert, and he was still dogged by a vague drive to win.</p>
<p>‘Oi, Kageyama, the eggs are drying out,’ said Hinata, pointing at the pan.</p>
<p>‘Oh, right.’</p>
<p>Kageyama switched off the stove and Hinata handed him a bowl with a sunny grin. They seated themselves on the floor by the living room table in front of the television. Kageyama flicked through channels until he settled on a mindless gameshow that would serve as sufficient background entertainment while they ate. He didn’t care about watching television. He didn’t really care about eating either. All that was in his mind in that moment was the proximity between himself and Hinata on the floor and the fact that they hadn’t discussed any activities to do after they finished their meal.</p>
<p>‘This looks so good!’ said Hinata, and he clapped his hands together and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Thank you for the meal!’</p>
<p>‘Thank you for the meal,’ said Kageyama.</p>
<p>He had to admit that the dish did look better than he was used to. Hinata had sliced the spring onions into even, measured rings and sprinkled the seven-spice mix in such a way that the presentation was much nicer than when Kageyama cooked alone, as he normally tossed everything into a bowl without thinking twice about presentation.</p>
<p>‘I cook at home quite a lot,’ said Hinata, between mouthfuls. ‘At least on weekends when Mum’s doing chores. I don’t really have time during the week because of training. Does your mum cook a lot?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ replied Kageyama. ‘She eats at work. I make food for myself or with my dad when he’s home. Although, I suppose I won’t have time anymore seeing as we’re going to have to practice even harder now that we got through to the prelims.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah. This is the last chance for the third-years to go to Nationals so Daichi’s going to be on our backs more than ever for the next month and a half.’ Hinata chewed thoughtfully for a moment. ‘I suppose him and Sugawara-san are still together.’</p>
<p>Kageyama frowned.</p>
<p>‘What of it?’ he asked.</p>
<p>‘They’re really good at keeping it secret. We never would have known if we didn’t see them together that one time last term.’</p>
<p>‘Well, we did see them, so they’re not that secretive,’ Kageyama pointed out.</p>
<p>‘I guess so,’ grinned Hinata. ‘You don’t hear anyone else talking about it, though.’</p>
<p>‘Maybe no one else really cares what they do in their personal lives,’ shrugged Kageyama.</p>
<p>He slurped up his noodles and didn’t notice Hinata watching him with a curious expression on his face.</p>
<p>‘I just want to verse Shiratorizawa in the next round of prelims,’ said Hinata, after a pause.</p>
<p>His eyes were alight with the fire of competition again and Kageyama kept his face carefully composed. He was very thankful that Hinata could have no idea what that expression did to him.</p>
<p>‘We will,’ said Kageyama. ‘We’ll have to to get through to Nationals. There’s no way they won’t be in the finals.’</p>
<p>‘I know,’ said Hinata, with a smirk. ‘I can’t wait to see Ushiwaka’s reaction when we beat them.’</p>
<p>Kageyama snorted.</p>
<p>‘You’ll have to practice a bit more then if you want to make that reality,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘Hey!’ whined Hinata, reproachfully. ‘We played really well against Ogi Nishi High today, we totally had a flow!’</p>
<p>‘So? Shiratorizawa is in a completely different league to those guys.’</p>
<p>‘I know that but we played really well today, don’t you think?’</p>
<p>‘If you’re asking me if I think we could have won against Shiratorizawa in that match, then my answer would be no,’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p>
<p>Hinata scowled at him, looking as if he was about to burst with protest and reasoning, but Kageyama spoke up before Hinata could.</p>
<p>‘So luckily we’ve got a month and a half to practice so that we will be ready when we have to face them,’ he said. ‘Because by the time the prelims come around, we will be ready.’</p>
<p>Hinata settled back against the front of the sofa, seeming satisfied for the moment, and slurped up noodles with his eyes on the television. Kageyama fought the urge to roll his eyes and continued eating. They finished their noodles and slowly moved up onto the low sofa to continue watching the show. If Kageyama was honest with himself, he felt that he had no energy for pretending or skirting around the reason why he had brought Hinata to his house. They were both well aware; what was the point in dancing around the fact? He still felt just as wired as before and knew that he would never be able to relax if Hinata left without doing anything. He lounged back into the corner of the sofa and Hinata hovered somewhere in the centre looking slightly on edge now that he didn’t have a bowl of noodles to keep his hands occupied anymore. Now that they had eaten and the evening was wearing on, the real reason why Hinata was in Kageyama’s house began to weigh upon each of them equally. The air in the room, little by little, became charged with the same heady electricity as back in their room at the training camp at Tsukihama Beach. It was easy to be with Hinata — so easy to fall into his company and forget about everything else that Kageyama felt himself losing comprehension of everything except the boy sitting within arm’s reach. Without thinking, he reached out to where Hinata's hand was resting on the couch at his side. Hinata looked around quickly and stared at Kageyama before looking down at Kageyama’s hand covering his.</p>
<p>‘What?’ Kageyama challenged, aware of the scowl on his face.</p>
<p>‘Nothing,’ replied Hinata, and his face broke into a grin. ‘I was wondering how long it would take you to make a move.’</p>
<p>‘<em>Tsk</em>.’</p>
<p>Kageyama snatched his hand away and scowled at the television screen but Hinata only sniggered and leaned against him, pushing the setter further back into the pillows.</p>
<p>‘You don’t have to wait for me, you know,’ said Kageyama, annoyed.</p>
<p>‘I know,’ said Hinata, lightly. ‘I was just curious to see when you’d cave.’</p>
<p>Kageyama opened his mouth to bark back a retort but Hinata grabbed him by cheek and pulled him into a kiss that cut off whatever it was that he was about to say. The kiss was gentle and unhurried, conveying the feeling that that they had all the time in the world. They weren’t hidden away in the clubroom at lunch or cooped up in a cubicle in the bathroom at Kamei Arena; they were in Kageyama’s living room at 6pm on a Saturday when his father was out of town and his mother would be at work for at least another four hours. The front door was locked, their phones were on silent, there was nothing and no one in the world that could tell them to hurry up.</p>
<p>Little by little, Kageyama’s heart started to beat faster as Hinata’s lips moved softly against his. They had kissed many times by now over the past weeks since Tanabata Festival yet the feel of Hinata's lips, the closeness of his breath, the warmth of his body pressed against him still never failed to make Kageyama’s mind tumble over itself in disbelief at what was happening. Kageyama could smell the shampoo in Hinata’s freshly-washed hair and the notes of clean cotton and tatami that clung to the fragrance of his skin. Hinata’s lips parted under his and Kageyama slipped in his tongue to run gently over Hinata’s lower lip. The sounds of the television blended into background noise as Kageyama fell totally into Hinata’s presence and gave his senses over to the boy in his arms.</p>
<p>Hinata leaned further into Kageyama’s embrace, pushing the setter gradually back onto the pillows until he was all but lying over him. They kissed long and deeply and Kageyama revelled in the feeling of Hinata’s weight pressed on top of him. He was sure that Hinata could feel the growing hardness between their point of contact but he didn’t care. He wanted Hinata to feel what he was doing to him. After a moment in which they kissed deeply, Hinata started to move his hips inch by inch up and down against Kageyama. Kageyama inhaled a long and deep breath and took hold of Hinata’s waist. The decoy could have no idea of the wild reckless desire that gripped Kageyama at that moment as Kageyama fought with the urge to push Hinata up and tear his clothes off. <em>We’ll get there</em>, Kageyama said to himself. <em>We have time - hours. Make it count</em>. Hinata broke the kiss but he stayed lying over Kageyama with his face mere inches away.</p>
<p>‘I kept thinking about the time we went to Tanabata Festival when we were in Sendai today,’ he said, sounding slightly embarrassed. ‘As soon as we got to the station I remembered that day, and — and how you kissed me.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I thought about it, too,’ admitted Kageyama.</p>
<p>Hinata grinned crookedly and colour bloomed into his cheeks.</p>
<p>‘I’m really glad you kissed me then, Kageyama,’ he said. ‘Even though it was kind of nerve-racking at the time.’</p>
<p>‘Everything out of the ordinary is nerve-racking to you.’</p>
<p>‘No it’s not!’</p>
<p>‘Yeah it is. What isn’t?’</p>
<p>‘Doing this, for one.’</p>
<p>Hinata pressed his lips against Kageyama’s again but this time the kiss was fuelled with a fire of urgency that caused Kageyama’s heart to pound in his ears. When they broke apart again, Kageyama had to catch his breath.</p>
<p>‘That’s not exactly out of the ordinary anymore, is it?’ he pointed out, trying to stay nonchalant.</p>
<p>‘Well, no,’ said Hinata, thoughtfully. ‘I guess it isn’t.’</p>
<p>‘Dumbass.’</p>
<p>Hinata grinned into their kiss and Kageyama wound his arms around Hinata’s waist. He felt like he could do this forever. There wasn’t a shred of pretence left between them as they lay entwined on the sofa, kissing deeply, and it seemed to Kageyama that the day’s match and all subsequent activities had merely been a lead-up to this moment. His breath caught his throat as he felt Hinata’s hardness pushing against him.</p>
<p>‘What were you going to do earlier in the bathroom?’ breathed Hinata, leaning back slightly to look piercingly into Kageyama’s eyes.</p>
<p>Kageyama frowned slightly at the question and his eyes moved between each of Hinata’s. He didn’t know what to say. What<em> was</em> he going to do? He wasn't sure. In the moment, Kageyama’s body had acted before his mind could catch up. Lying there on the couch, he threw caution to the wind and accepted the fact that his body knew what he wanted better than his mind ever could.</p>
<p>‘Do you want me to show you?’ he asked, and a dark hunger crept into his eyes.</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes widened intently and he hesitated for a fraction of a second before nodding once. Kageyama made to sit up and Hinata mirrored his movements, moving back until he was seated upright on the sofa. His light brown eyes were alight and intense as he watched Kageyama’s movements as if they were still on the court and he was waiting for Kageyama to toss to him; but when Kageyama put his hand on the front of Hinata's shorts, the decoy’s gaze wavered and fell and a deeper blush bloomed into his cheeks. Kageyama moved his hand up and down over the shape of Hinata’s erection and ducked his head to press a kiss against the side of Hinata’s neck. Hinata sighed and tilted his head back, giving Kageyama better access, and twisted his fingers into Kageyama’s hair. The competitive flare that usually accompanied volleyball alighted in Kageyama’s chest and gave fuel to his movements. He knew that if he did things right, he would be able to pick Hinata apart piece by piece until the decoy was completely and utterly at his mercy. Kageyama craved that. He needed it. It felt like nothing short of winning. <br/>He captured Hinata’s mouth in a searing kiss and got up from the sofa - without breaking the kiss or removing his hand - and knelt down on the floor between Hinata’s legs. As he settled down in front of him, Kageyama noticed the increase of the Hinata’s breathing and the slight tremble in the hand at the back of Kageyama’s head, but that only spurred him on. He moved his hand up a little and tugged at Hinata’s shorts until Hinata sat up slightly and he was able to pull them down. This time, he pulled Hinata’s shorts and briefs completely off over his feet and dropped them onto the floor where they were instantly forgotten. His eyes were still closed as they kissed but he didn’t need to see to know that the centre of Hinata’s pleasure was there for the taking in front of him. He grasped Hinata's cock steadily and began to stroke up and down, slowly at first to build the decoy up. Kageyama had to remind himself over and over to take his time, to not lose control and finish things too soon. He was able to go slower and draw Hinata’s pleasure out and he knew he needed to make the most of it.</p>
<p>Kageyama leaned back on his heels and Hinata watched him avidly as Kageyama committed himself to what he was about to do. A flash of nervousness made his heart skip but the fact that Hinata was staring at him with kiss-bitten lips and the flame of lust blazing in his eyes sealed Kageyama’s conviction. He lowered his gaze and beheld the sight of Hinata’s rigid cock quivering in his hand mere inches from his lips. Precome had gathered at the tip in sticky beads, undeniable evidence of the extent of Hinata’s arousal, and Kageyama’s breath whispered over the head as he closed the space between them. He pressed his lips against the side of Hinata's cock and tasted the satiny smooth skin as he dragged his lips slowly up to the tip; then he swirled his tongue over the head, savouring the saltiness of the precome on his tongue, before glancing up as Hinata’s eyes shimmered and he fell back against the sofa.</p>
<p>‘K-Kageyama,’ he whimpered. ‘What are you -?’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. He just continued kissing the tip of Hinata’s cock and stroking the shaft in a rhythmic movement with his hand. Every inch of Kageyama’s nerves felt utterly taut with shock at himself for what he was doing, and yet the broiling heat that dripped to the pit of his stomach overrode any misgivings he may have otherwise had. All he wanted in that moment was more. The familiar insatiable hunger that had grown to ravenous proportions over the weeks and months of their snowballing relationship culminated in that moment as he took Hinata deep into his mouth. He heard a bitten off sigh from above him and shot a glance up to see Hinata looking absolutely wrecked as he watched Kageyama’s progress with disbelieving, faraway eyes. Kageyama fought the smirk playing about his lips and continued to work at Hinata, lacing his tongue around the decoy’s cock and sucking gently in time with the movement of his hand, his fringe bouncing in his eyes with every duck of his head. The motion itself felt unnatural to him but the sound of barely audible moans escaping from between Hinata’s lips drove him on. Kageyama slid his lips down until he felt the hardness hit the back of his throat and drew back again, and he revelled in the taste of Hinata’s exposure. The heat that had been dripping into the pit of his stomach surged to a torrent as he heard Hinata's breaths come in ragged waves above him. The way that Hinata physically responded had always been a point of riveting desire to Kageyama and he sucked against the build-up of saliva and precome sliding over Hinata’s cock in his mouth. He could feel the twitches in the decoy’s hand that had come to grip Kageyama’s upper arm, and could sense the building tenseness in his muscles as Kageyama, little by little, sped up the motion of his mouth and hand.</p>
<p>He leaned back on his heels to catch his breath and a shade of hunger darkened in his eyes as he gazed through his fringe at Hinata, whose chest was rising and falling rapidly in time with his ragged breathing where he sat leaning back against the sofa cushions. But Kageyama wasn’t finished. Seeing Hinata in such a state only encouraged him to go on. Kageyama smoothed his left hand up the inside of Hinata’s thigh, watching the curling hairs there shine in the light of the lamp that stood beside the sofa, and he was gripped by a sudden appreciation for the boy before him. Hinata had come so far from the awkward boy who had been afraid to hold Kageyama’s hand after his unconventional confession in the gym that one summer evening that now felt long ago. Their first kiss, which had been so hesitant and clumsy and utterly life-changing, had put them on a path that lead them here: to Kageyama’s living room on a Saturday night. Kageyama’s heart swelled with the memories of just how far Hinata had come - how far they had both come - and he pressed light kisses to the inside of Hinata’s thigh, slowly in a burning trail until he couldn’t go any further and he looked up at the decoy again. To his surprise, Hinata smiled crookedly as if he sensed the affection that was the driving force behind Kageyama’s lips. Kageyama licked up the underside of Hinata’s shaft and the moment of gentle affection was overwhelmed again by the raw, erotic nature of what they were doing. Kageyama’s mouth and hand worked, every draw taking Hinata deeper and deeper into his mouth until a sticky thread of saliva and precome slid down his chin but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. It was as if a frenzy had clouded his brain and the only thing he was aware of was the taste of Hinata's cock filling up his mouth and the slide of it beneath his hand. Every second that ticked by brought Hinata closer and closer to collapse and pushed him ever so slightly nearer to the peak of his pleasure.</p>
<p>‘Kageyama,’ moaned Hinata, his voice hitched and husky as he squeezed Kageyama’s upper arm. ‘Shit, Kageyama, y-you’re going to make me —’</p>
<p>His voice dissolved into a shuddering moan and Kageyama took his entire girth into his mouth as liquid heat shot into the back of his throat. The setter squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed deeply as he worked Hinata through his release, sucking against him until he was utterly spent and fell back limp against the pillows with tears beading in the corners of his eyes and redness blooming into his cheeks. Kageyama leaned back onto his heels again and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling very satisfied with himself. Hinata’s eyes were glazed over and his chest was still heaving. Slowly, his eyes gained clarity and then he covered his face with his hands.</p>
<p>‘What the hell, Kageyama?!’ he said into his palms.</p>
<p>Kageyama smirked and got up to sit on the sofa beside Hinata. As soon as he did so, the decoy buried his face into Kageyama’s shoulder.</p>
<p>‘Don’t be embarrassed,’ said Kageyama. ‘I did that as much for myself as for you.’</p>
<p>Hinata peered up at him, still hiding half his face, before taking hold of Kageyama’s shirt front and pulling him into a kiss. Kageyama kissed him back, gently at first due to the tenderness in his lips, but then he felt a timid hand whisper over the front of his trackpants and the world came to a standstill. Kageyama paused in surprise as the gears in his head slowly turned, then he took hold of Hinata’s head with both hands and kissed him fiercely. The feel of Hinata’s touch against him caused something similar to a lightning strike to zap down his spine. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real. But the feel of Hinata’s hand over Kageyama’s hardness grounded him in the reality that it was more real than anything else in the world at that moment. Hinata pressed harder as his confidence grew and he moved his hand up and down over the shape of Kageyama’s rigid cock. Kageyama’s brow furrowed as he tried to mentally grasp what was happening despite the fact that an arousal unlike any he had ever felt before rose like a tsunami inside of him. Hinata, sweet Hinata, who was the object of Kageyama’s predilection and the recipient of his bodily desire, was himself literally reaching out and giving Kageyama a taste of the gratification that the decoy had time and again enjoyed. Kageyama had privately wondered if or when Hinata would take the initiative but he had never assumed nor expected anything from him; in fact, doing things to Hinata was enough to make Kageyama consider himself supremely lucky despite the fact that he often had to address his own arousal alone. Now, however, his past wondering of whether Hinata had the boldness to act was rendered utterly clear.</p>
<p>Kageyama pushed his tongue into Hinata’s mouth as Hinata moved his hand slowly up to the waistband of Kageyama’s trackpants. His fingers hooked into the elastic and Kageyama’s heart leapt to feel the tips of the decoy’s fingers brushing against his bare skin below his navel. He broke the kiss and looked Hinata in the face. Kageyama didn’t quite trust his ability to speak at that moment but he needed to see if there was any hesitation or uncertainty in Hinata’s expression before going forward; but the decoy’s wide eyes shone as clear as day, a projection of his heart and the desire that was pumping there, and Kageyama gave himself over to the churning waves of lust broiling higher and higher with every touch. Together, they tugged Kageyama’s trackpants and briefs down and Kageyama seized Hinata’s lips in another fevered kiss. The presence of his exposure beamed like a beacon in his consciousness as he tried to wrap his head around the situation and the fact that he had to get some semblance of clarity into his head if he wanted to last more than five seconds. An iron fist clenched around his stomach as he felt the tips of Hinata’s fingers whisper up the side of his shaft. Hinata's hand, light and hesitant at first, took hold of Kageyama’s cock and gradually began working at him, gripping his girth somewhat clumsily but it threatened to push Kageyama over the edge all the same. It wasn’t even the sensation itself, rather the fact that it was Hinata Shouyou who was doing this to him that made Kageyama’s breath quicken and his heart race. The feel of he decoy’s smaller hand wrapped around him, its grip becoming steadily firmer and more assured, caused Kageyama to suddenly realise that he didn’t have the mental focus to kiss the decoy anymore and he leaned back on his hands, tilted his head back and closed his eyes. In that moment, all of the nervousness that had been building up inside of him throughout the evening floated away like petals in a spring breeze. His anxieties had been all for nothing and Hinata was showing him, in the most intimate way possible, that he, too, was committed to this. Waves of pleasure washed further and further over Kageyama’s mind, washing away the stress until there was nothing left but the motion of Hinata's hand, the sound of his own panting breath in his ears, and the shuddering peak inching nearer with every jerk of the decoy’s wrist.</p>
<p>Kageyama could feel himself coming apart at the seams and he didn’t even have the mental fortitude to feel self-conscious about it. He caught Hinata’s gaze in a sign that the peak was about to break before his eyes rolled back into his head and he bit down hard on his bottom lip to fight the heady moan threatening to escape him. Hinata carried him through it, much the same as Kageyama had done to him before, and Kageyama let himself go in a crashing wave of ecstasy. It was as if weeks of build-up peaked in that moment and Kageyama’s heart felt swollen to bursting for the boy whose hands were dripping with evidence of the extent of Kageyama’s affection. Kageyama breathed hard and relaxed his hand that had been squeezing Hinata’s wrist as he slowly came down from the high and the sounds of the program still playing on the TV began to register in his head. He looked at Hinata who was watching him closely and then at the mess over himself and Hinata’s hands. He cleared his throat.</p>
<p>‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Bathroom.’</p>
<p>Hinata nodded and picked up his shorts and underpants from the floor before they washed up in the bathroom sink; then, they tidied up the living room so that there was no sign that anything unusual had occurred there. As he filled the kitchen sink with hot water, Kageyama fell lost into thoughts. For some reason, after everything that had happened between them, only now did he feel like something had irrevocably changed. It was as if all semblance of pretence had fallen away and a closeness unlike Kageyama had ever known took hold of him. Under his lashes, his gaze wandered over to where Hinata was adjusting the sofa cushions and he realised that the pressure of his heart that had swelled in their moment of intimacy before hadn’t abated at all.</p>
<p>Hinata stood up straight, clearly satisfied with the inconspicuous arrangement of the sofa cushions, and Kageyama quickly averted his eyes before Hinata could notice that he had been looking at him.</p>
<p>‘It’s getting late,’ said Hinata. ‘I’ll go get my bag from your room.’</p>
<p>‘Right,’ said Kageyama, and he turned off the tap.</p>
<p>Now that the reason for their evening together had been achieved, there was an unspoken understanding between them that there was no reason for Hinata to stay any longer. Usually, the prospect of Hinata leaving his house would fill Kageyama with regret; now, however, the setter had nothing but an enduring fondness and a peace of mind that he had never had before. Hinata’s footsteps sounded on the stairs, Kageyama dried his hands on the kitchen towel, and he went over to lean against the doorway and watch as Hinata pulled on his shoes.</p>
<p>‘Oh, I still have your shirt on,’ said Hinata, pausing as he put on his Karasuno jacket and looking down at himself.</p>
<p>‘Keep it for now,’ said Kageyama. ‘You can give it back to me later.’</p>
<p>‘Okay.’</p>
<p>Kageyama privately enjoyed the sight of Hinata wearing his shirt and he was in no hurry to get it back. The thought of Hinata wearing it at home, maybe lounging around his living room in it or lying in bed, flooded into the corners of Kageyama’s already-inflated heart.</p>
<p>‘And Hinata.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah?’</p>
<p>‘I’ll see you Monday.’</p>
<p>The tone of Kageyama’s words conveyed to the decoy that he was committed to continuing things between them in the coming days. Hinata smiled his token shining smile that lit up the entryway and caused Kageyama to feel a curious sense of falling.</p>
<p>‘Yep, see you Monday!’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘And thanks again for dinner.’</p>
<p>Hinata stepped forward and flung his arms around Kageyama’s neck, tugging him roughly downwards from where he was standing on the step above the entryway into a tight embrace. Kageyama tutted under his breath with irritation but wound his arms around Hinata's waist all the same, scowling through the blush in his cheeks. Hinata let go, grinned, waved and closed the front door behind him. The silence of solitude descended upon the entryway and Kageyama stayed staring at the door for a little while, still trying to wrap his head around what the hell had happened between them in the living room. So much had changed in so little time and it was giving him whiplash trying to keep up. All he knew was that he was so wrapped up in Hinata Shouyou and the tumultuous up-and-down nature of whatever it was they shared together that the prospect of stopping was an impossibility to him now. He already felt impatient for their next official match so that he could draw even more out of Karasuno’s decoy. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. The Smell of Tatami</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since the evening at Kageyama’s house after the qualifier match, Kageyama felt that something had inherently changed regarding the nature of his strange, inconsistent, more-than-friends relationship with Hinata. It was as if something had shifted and altered the nature of their interactions in such a volatile and permanent way that he couldn’t go back to thinking the way that he used to. He couldn’t look at Hinata and see only a teammate anymore; whenever he locked eyes with the decoy during training or in the hallways during lunch, he saw someone that he knew more deeply and intimately than anyone else in his life. Whenever they sat side-by-side on the court to listen to one of Coach Ukai’s lectures, he had to fight the reflexive urge to put his hand on Hinata’s knee or lean against him. He realised that everything he did throughout the day was merely a lead-up to volleyball practice and being alone with Hinata. They were the only two things that he could think about. During training, his mind was clear and he was able to play with utmost focus — even more so than usual as he also generally felt better than he had in a long time. He found that when he practiced one-on-one with Hinata, his arms reached higher and his feet moved faster. When Hinata completed a successful attack or made a particularly impressive spike, his heart ballooned in his chest and he looked at the decoy with pride in his eyes; but where Hinata messed up a receive or was late to a block, he had no qualms about admonishing him, as it had always been.</p><p>It didn't take long for Kageyama to realise that he wasn’t the only one that felt that things had changed. Even to Hinata, it seemed that the façade of conventional platonic comradeship was completely gone as they both mutually understood, without discussion, that they each wanted to be physically close just as much as the other and there was no need to dance around the reality anymore with careful lead-ups or tactful planning. Throughout the following week, usually after practice when most of their other teammates had left, Hinata would shoot Kageyama a questioning look or linger by his side expectantly, to which Kageyama would give an affirmative sign and the pair would sneak off somewhere to be alone. Sometimes they would find themselves in the equipment room after the others had gone to the clubroom to change or they would stay back in the clubroom after everyone else had left. Kageyama understood that he was using Hinata to channel whatever emotions he was feeling at the time, whether it was appreciation of their successful plays together or frustration at the mistakes they had made. Either way, Hinata always responded in a way that put Kageyama’s feelings to rest and allowed him to relieve whatever tension had been building inside of him throughout the day. Every time they parted, Hinata flashed a sunny smile at Kageyama and promised to see him tomorrow. Kageyama always looked on at Hinata's retreating back and felt confused by the heavy feeling of regret that weighed upon him with every step that took Hinata further away from him. Kageyama was used to finding Hinata somewhat boring and annoying as a person, but the competitive flare that burned between them kept him invested in the decoy as a teammate. Even when they started to engage in more-than-friends contact with one another, Kageyama used kissing and touching as a way to dominate him and to feel a voyeuristic sort of victory over the player that he could never win against in volleyball due to them being on the same team. But now… After so much had befallen them, Kageyama couldn’t help feeling more invested. First at the training camp in Tokyo, then at Tanabata Festival, then at Tsukihama Beach and the other day after the qualifiers, they had been through so much together that Kageyama no longer felt satisfied by merely dominating Hinata and going home. No, there was something missing, something more… He couldn’t quite identify what it was that he wanted but he knew that he would never be truly satisfied until he got it.  </p><p>On one Friday in early September, a problem arose. Kageyama was given the results to a somewhat important Japanese exam they had had a couple of weeks ago and, with a sinking stomach, he saw that he had failed.</p><p>‘You’ll have to attend the re-sit on Wednesday, Kageyama-kun,’ his teacher said, as she handed him the paper that was smattered with corrections in red ink. ‘So if you have any club activities that afternoon, I’m afraid you will have to skip them.’</p><p>It was with heavy feet that Kageyama made his way to the volleyball gym after class. He dug his hands into his pockets and glowered at the ground. Anxiety over what Daichi and Coach Ukai would have to say about it caused him to kick himself internally for not devoting more time to studying. He recalled last term when he, Hinata and Tanaka had been threatened with missing a match due to poor grades and gloomily wondered if a similar thing would happen to him. What if he had to miss parts of next month’s Preliminaries all because he couldn’t memorise some kanji? He knew, in the bottom of his heart, that Karasuno couldn’t win without him. What if they lost because he couldn’t play?</p><p>‘Oooh Kageyama, you’re looking particularly intense today,’ piped up Hinata, who was changing his shoes in the doorway to the gym with Yamaguchi.</p><p>‘No, I’m not,’ snapped Kageyama, shooting daggers at him with his eyes.</p><p>Hinata leapt behind Yamaguchi for protection, his face white.</p><p>‘Now you look even more intense!’ he yelped.</p><p>Kageyama tutted and pushed past them. He walked up to where Coach Ukai was instructing the second-years to arrange cones on the court and straightened his shoulders. Ukai looked around questioningly when he noticed Kageyama’s approach.</p><p>‘What’s up, Kageyama?’ he asked.</p><p>‘I’m sorry but I have to miss training on Wednesday next week,’ he said, stiffly.</p><p>Ukai’s face darkened.</p><p>‘What for?’</p><p>‘I have to retake an exam.’</p><p>Ukai exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>‘Kageyama,’ he said. Kageyama braced himself. ‘You’ve been putting a lot of effort into training, especially since the qualifier, but you have to put effort into schoolwork too. It’s just as important. Well, I don’t mean that it’s as important as volleyball but it’s important in that it allows you to play volleyball, and the team needs you. You’re lucky it's only training on Wednesday — what if we had a match?’</p><p>‘I know, I’m sorry,’ said Kageyama, bitterly.</p><p>‘Don’t make me resort to drastic measures to get you to study, because I will,’ Ukai threatened. ‘Pass your exam, study hard, and I’m willing to let this one slide, got it?’</p><p>‘Yes.’</p><p>‘Good, go get changed.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded once and went to the clubroom, keeping his gaze fixed ahead of him in an attempt to ignore the eyes following him curiously. Once he had changed and joined the others on the court, it wasn’t a surprise that he couldn’t get into a rhythm. His shoulders were tense and he felt irritated at everyone, and his frustration only mounted as he missed mark after mark.</p><p>‘What’s up with you, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata, his head tilted to one side, as they missed another one of their quick attacks due to Kageyama’s sloppy aim.</p><p>‘Nothing,’ said Kageyama, speaking through clenched teeth.</p><p>‘You keep messing up. You don’t normally mess up so much.’</p><p>‘Ouch,’ remarked Tsukishima, watching Kageyama’s mounting fury with amusement.</p><p>‘Maybe if you didn’t suck so much it wouldn’t be so much of a problem!’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘Double ouch,’ said Yamaguchi, behind his hand.</p><p>‘You only failed an exam,’ said Hinata, lightly. ‘It’s not like it’s the first time, and it probably won’t be the last time either.’</p><p>‘Is Hinata trying to make Kageyama feel better?’ whispered Sugawara to Daichi, eyeing the pair doubtfully.</p><p>Kageyama felt fury mounting upon fury inside him and it must have shown on his face as Ukai stepped in.</p><p>‘Alright, that’ll do for today,’ he said, firmly. ‘We’ve all had a long week; rest up over the weekend and we’ll continue on Monday. Kageyama, I expect you to work extra hard to make up for the day you’re missing.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded sullenly and the team started packing up. Kageyama decided to mop the floors in a vague attempt to make up for his crappy tosses as the rest of the team left to start the weekend.</p><p>‘Oi, Kageyama!’</p><p>Kageyama looked up to see Hinata jogging over to him with practice cones bundled in his arms.</p><p>‘What?’ grunted Kageyama.</p><p>He wasn’t in the mood to hear any more of Hinata’s attempts at making him feel better.</p><p>‘Even though we couldn’t synch up today, don’t feel bad about it because I know that with your toss, I can get past any block,’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘I have faith in you to help us win because you’re the most amazing setter I’ve ever seen. So don’t worry about it!’</p><p>Kageyama stared at Hinata who smiled back warmly. He wondered doubtfully whether Hinata was saying those things because they were teammates or because they were more than just friends. He didn’t know but he realised that he didn’t need to know. Hinata’s praise eased the knot in his stomach all the same and he suddenly felt guilty for lashing out earlier. Hinata was making an effort in his own way.</p><p>‘Isn’t it frustrating when I can’t play the way you want me to?’ asked Kageyama, in a sullen voice.</p><p>‘Well kind of,’ replied Hinata, thoughtfully. ‘And it’s frustrating for me that I’m always paired with you and that people seem to think that my merit is dependent on your toss; but if I had to choose someone to be paired with, it would be you, Kageyama.’</p><p>Kageyama’s fists clenched at his sides and, without thinking, he strode forward and grabbed Hinata by the wrist.</p><p>‘Hey! What are you –?’</p><p>‘Come on.’</p><p>The stack of cones cascaded out of Hinata’s arms and onto the floor as Kageyama pulled Hinata into the gloom of the equipment room and pushed him against the back of the door.</p><p>‘Oi –’</p><p>Kageyama cut off Hinata’s words by pressing his lips roughly against the decoy’s. He kissed with urgency, desperate for a physical response to assure him that Hinata wasn’t just lying to cheer him up with empty words. After a moment of surprise, Hinata kissed him back, standing on tip toes and clutching Kageyama’s collar to bring their bodies as close together as possible. As they kissed, Kageyama’s brow furrowed. Something in the feeling behind his lips wasn’t quite right and he wondered what he was doing. Why had he grabbed Hinata and started kissing him? What he really wanted to say was “thank you” and kissing didn’t quite seem to convey that feeling but he didn’t know how else to communicate affection with the decoy. They had never really been close without some underlying purpose to reach a specific end or push one another's boundaries - it was the only way Kageyama knew how to be affectionate; but this time, it didn’t seem right. Hinata’s breath quickened and Kageyama’s heart jolted at hearing the familiar hitch that told him Hinata’s composure was coming apart. He slipped his tongue into Hinata’s mouth, wondering if that would help get his point across, and a muffled moan sighed from Hinata’s throat which caused heat to glow in Kageyama’s stomach. He wanted more from Hinata, now. He needed to try and show that he was grateful for Hinata’s words and that they actually meant something to him. He knotted his fingers into the back of Hinata’s hair, pressed the decoy back into the door with his body, and tasted the heat of Hinata’s tongue against his own – and broke away as voices drifted into the equipment room from the gym.</p><p>‘Someone’s here,’ Hinata whispered, panting slightly.</p><p>‘Damn it,’ Kageyama cursed.</p><p>They could hear the voices of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in the gym and Kageyama and Hinata straightened their clothes before heading back out.</p><p>‘Oh, I didn’t realise you guys were still here!’ said Yamaguchi, looking up at the sound of their footsteps.</p><p>‘Yeah, we were just packing up,’ said Hinata, with a grin, scooping up the cones from where they had fallen onto the floor.</p><p>‘I had to come back for my water bottle.’ Yamaguchi grinned sheepishly.</p><p>‘Isn’t that the second time this week? You’re so forgetful, Yamaguchi!’</p><p>‘I know, I know. Anyway, see you later!’</p><p>‘See you!’</p><p>Throughout the interaction, Tsukishima and Kageyama hadn’t looked away from one another. Tsukishima had watched the pair emerge from the equipment room with curious eyes and his gaze hadn’t left Kageyama’s face until he turned away to walk home with Yamaguchi. Hinata, oblivious, started pulling on his jumper and unlacing his trainers. Kageyama felt a twinge of concern twist in his stomach. How much did Tsukishima guess? He was more intuitive than anyone else on the team. Was it possible that he suspected something? In any case, Kageyama only had to say one word, “Kuroo”, to put Tsukishima in his place should he try to threaten anything. He also felt a cloud of irritation descend down upon him at his inability to express himself and wondered if his gratitude would have come through if they hadn’t been interrupted.</p><p>‘What are you going to do tonight, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata.</p><p>‘I don’t know,’ replied Kageyama, pushing Tsukishima from his mind. ‘Study for the exam, probably, why?’</p><p>‘Um, my parents are taking my sister to our grandma’s in Shiroishi for the weekend, so I was wondering if you’d — er — want to come over to my place?’ Hinata’s cheeks flushed a familiar crimson but he smiled up at Kageyama all the same. ‘We’d have the place to ourselves so you could stay the night if you wanted to. I’m sure it would make you feel better.’</p><p>Kageyama’s heart leapt but he forced his face into careful composure. His eyes searched Hinata’s face and the smiling decoy seemed as open and sunny as ever. The way Hinata had asked made the invitation sound completely innocent and yet Kageyama knew that there was sure to be more to their evening than just sleeping. He watched Hinata from the corner of his eye as he changed his shoes.</p><p>‘I guess I don’t have anything better to do,’ he said, evenly.</p><p>‘Great!' trilled Hinata. ‘I can help you study, too, if you want.’</p><p>‘Huh? Don’t tell me you passed?’</p><p>‘Well, I haven’t got my results back yet,’ said Hinata. ‘But I felt confident about the test so I bet I’ll get at least a C.’</p><p>‘Not really shooting for the stars, are you?’</p><p>‘Hey, you can’t talk!’</p><p>‘I’ll have to go home to get some things,’ said Kageyama, straightening up.</p><p>‘Sure,’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘Come over whenever you want, it’ll just be me there. You remember the way, right?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>‘Okay, see you later! And don’t take too long! I’ll be bored there by myself.’</p><p>‘Fine, fine.’</p><p>Kageyama made his way home, walking much faster than usual. Excitement flared up his nerves and drove any thought of saying thank you to Hinata out of his mind. He wondered what they would do in the evening while they had the whole house to themselves; and, he wondered where they would sleep. The thought of sleeping with Hinata flashed through Kageyama’s mind before he shoved it aside. Hinata would sleep in his own bed and Kageyama would sleep on the floor, surely. But… now that things had changed between them, Kageyama didn’t know what to expect. For the first time, they would be alone in Hinata’s house which meant that it was up to Hinata to call the shots. Until now, they had always been spending time at Kageyama’s house so the setter had usually been the one to dictate what they would do and where they would go. Kageyama wondered if Hinata had anything particular in his mind. He wondered, too, if Hinata had been planning to ask him to sleep over or if it really was a spur-of-the-moment decision as he made it out to be.</p><p>He kicked off his shoes in the entryway and hurried up to his room. There were things he absolutely needed: a wash, fresh clothing, a yoghurt drink to last him until dinner, sleepwear, a change of clothes for tomorrow, his toothbrush, a comb, and… Kageyama’s eyes lingered on the contents of his bathroom cabinet before closing the mirrored door and looking at his reflection. The cat-like eyes that looked back at him were curiously bright. In that moment, he made up his mind. He slung his backpack over his back and locked the front door behind him before jogging around the side of the house to find his bicycle. It was somewhat dusty and spotted from rain but he brushed the seat off before mounting it and pushing his way out to the street. A chill wind whipped across his face and he looked doubtfully up at where roiling grey clouds were rolling heavily across the sky. He needed to be quick if he wanted to beat the impending rain but he had something he needed to do first. He rode to a strip of shops near the railway line and parked his bike next to a small pharmacy.</p><p>‘Welcome!’ called the little old lady from behind the desk, smiling good-naturedly at him.</p><p>Kageyama grunted back a greeting, his eyes darting furtively around the narrow aisles before locating the “intimate” section. The assortment of products sent a hot flush into his cheeks. <em>Stimulating eros, intensify your satisfaction, ribbed for her pleasure</em>. Kageyama grabbed the plainest packet of condoms and most discreet-looking bottle of lubricant that he could see and navigated his way to the cash register, holding them rigidly at his side. He could feel his face burning furiously while the little old lady smiled sweetly at him and scanned his items in what felt like slow motion. After paying, Kageyama shoved them to the bottom of his backpack and all but ran out of the shop.</p><p>His heart was racing and he rode the bike standing up until he got to the mountain crossing and recalled the time he had come there with Hinata after Tanabata Festival. It was there, lying in the grass beside the stream at dusk, that Hinata had said Kageyama’s first name. Now that he was looking at the spot, the memory of that evening came back to Kageyama vividly. “<em>You could have anyone you wanted; probably no one would say no if you asked them on a date, or confessed to them</em>.” Kageyama heard Hinata’s words echo in his mind. He didn’t know at the time if Hinata was being truthful and he didn’t know now whether the decoy’s words had been accurate or not, but he didn’t care. Nobody else in the world could ever convince him just by existing to buy lube and condoms from a sweet old grandma.</p><p>‘Stupid Hinata,’ he muttered, under his breath.</p><p>By the time he got to the cluster of houses and shops that was Yukigaoka, Kageyama could smell the incoming rain. He managed to locate Hinata’s house from memory and got off his bike to open the front gate. The stone footpath that led to the front door was being gradually encroached upon by emerald moss and the lushness of the garden seemed to be awaiting the impending downpour. Kageyama wheeled his bike next to where Hinata’s familiar yellow one was parked by the side of the house before climbing the steps of the porch and knocking on the front door as the first fat raindrops splattered onto the path behind him.</p><p>The door opened and Hinata stood there smiling sunnily at him in contrast to the storm clouds behind them. He was wearing dark orange trousers and a blue knitted sweater that Kageyama was sure Hinata’s mother had made for him. Its sleeves went down almost to his fingertips and the shoulder seams hung halfway down his upper arms but Kageyama couldn’t deny that he found the look oddly endearing.</p><p>‘Yo,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘You made it!’ said Hinata. ‘Come in, it’s starting to rain already.’</p><p>The fragrance of tatami and whatever laundry powder Hinata’s family used engulfed him as he stepped inside and Hinata closed the front door behind him. It was as if Kageyama had shoved his face into Hinata’s hair and inhaled. It was a heady fragrance that made his heart thud in his ears and every one of his intimate moments with Hinata flashed before his eyes in rapid succession.</p><p>‘Sorry it’s kind of messy,’ said Hinata, with a sheepish grin. ‘My sister leaves her stuff everywhere.’</p><p>‘It’s okay.’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t mind at all. In truth, he enjoyed the lived-in quality of Hinata’s house, more so than his own house that was so frequently empty. He took off his trainers and left them neatly by the step.</p><p>‘My bedroom’s through here.’ Hinata continued. ‘Oh, you didn’t see it last time you were here! I forgot, we only had dinner before Mum drove you home. It's nothing special but you can leave your stuff in there if you want.’</p><p>Kageyama’s gait thudded lightly on the floor as he followed Hinata down the hallway. Hinata slid open his bedroom door and switched on the light. Kageyama entered after him with mounting interest. Hinata’s bedroom was neater than Kageyama had expected and he privately wondered if the decoy had tidied up in preparation for his guest. It had a tatami mat floor, a large window on the left-hand side that took up almost the entire wall, a modest desk that looked somewhat neglected despite the haphazard stack of <em>Weekly Shonen Jump</em> magazines, and a large bed by the window that was covered with a heavy blue blanket. The whole right-hand wall was set with floor-to-ceiling storage for clothes and personal items from which hung Hinata’s school uniform as well as his volleyball jersey on hangers. As Kageyama looked around, he didn’t notice right away that Hinata was watching him somewhat timidly as if waiting for him to express his opinion.</p><p>‘Nice view,’ he said, looking pointedly at the window.</p><p>Through it one could see the greenery of Hinata’s backyard and the tree-covered mountain looming up behind. It seemed much darker outside than what was usual for the time of day due to the cloud cover and already a consistent rain was pouring. Everything was shades of dark green and grey.</p><p>‘Thanks,’ said Hinata, gleefully. ‘Though it looks nicer when the sun’s out.’</p><p>‘Looks nice enough to me,’ said Kageyama, shrugging.</p><p>He put his bag down at the foot of Hinata’s bed and turned to looked at the decoy, who was looking up at him shyly. Being in Hinata’s room made the possibilities of what Kageyama felt like doing seem all the more attainable. He felt electrically aware of their proximity, the bed behind him, and the newly-acquired items buried at the bottom of his backpack.</p><p>‘What do you want to do?’ asked Kageyama, trying to keep his voice clear of the workings of his mind.</p><p>‘Well, I thought earlier that we could practice in my backyard but it’s raining now so I guess that’s not an option,’ said Hinata, tapping his chin. ‘Hey, let me see your Japanese exam.’</p><p>Kageyama extracted the paper from his bag and handed it to Hinata. Hinata sat down on the edge of his bed as he read through it, his face falling the further he read.</p><p>‘Well, shit,’ he said, looking up at Kageyama in despair. ‘If you failed with this then I probably failed, too.’</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>‘I’m pretty sure I wrote really similar answers to you. Damn! And I definitely got a couple of these wrong.’</p><p>‘That sucks,’ smirked Kageyama.</p><p>‘Then why do you look so happy about it?!’ said Hinata, grumpily.</p><p>‘Because you were being a dumbass and teasing me before about me failing.’</p><p>‘No, I wasn’t!’</p><p>‘Yeah, you were.’ Kageyama put on a dumb voice to mimic Hinata. ‘“It isn’t the first exam you’ve failed and it won’t be the last!”’</p><p>Hinata puffed out his cheeks, looking unamused.</p><p>‘That did not sound like me,’ he said.</p><p>Kageyama sniggered and took his test out of Hinata’s hands.</p><p>‘Well, if you fail then you’ll just have to take the re-sit with me on Wednesday,’ he said, putting it back in his backpack.</p><p>‘And miss practice?!’</p><p>Hinata fell back onto his bed with a groan and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes.</p><p>‘If we’re both at the re-sit then we can just practice together after,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Really?’ Hinata looked up at Kageyama intently.</p><p>‘Yeah, why not,’ shrugged Kageyama.</p><p>‘Okay,’ Hinata grinned, his eyes alight. ‘I can live with that. Come on.’ He jumped to his feet and grabbed Kageyama by the sleeve. ‘I’ll show you the rest of the house. We can look around freely now that no one’s around.’</p><p>Hinata’s house had a more rustic and traditional style than Kageyama’s. The setter looked around and listened as Hinata explained different rooms and told various quirky stories about items that had some significance to him. It was funny, listening to Hinata reminiscing about times in his life before Kageyama knew him; to Kageyama, the past before Hinata felt like a world away. Looking back to junior high felt like recalling a movie or a story about somebody else’s life, not one that he himself had lived. Hinata had come crashing into Kageyama’s life like a whirlwind that turned everything upside down and made him do and think things that he never dreamed he would, and now he was here in Hinata’s house with lube and condoms glowing like a beacon in the back of his mind.</p><p>They ended up agreeing that tonight was not the time to study and that instead they should make food and watch recordings of the Men’s Volleyball World Championship that had ended a few days ago. Though they both already knew the outcome of the competition (Brazil winning for the second year in a row), they managed to watch almost four hours with many pauses and rewinds. It was nearing midnight by the time Hinata, yawning and rubbing his knuckles in his eyes, suggested they go to bed. Kageyama, who had felt utterly immersed in professional volleyball for so many hours, suddenly felt his heart kick into gear at Hinata’s suggestion. Again, he wondered at what their sleeping arrangements would be. They both changed into their sleepwear before cleaning their teeth side-by-side at the bathroom sink. Kageyama tried not to look at their reflections in the mirror and ignored how excitement thrilled up his spine every time he saw how close Hinata was standing to him.</p><p>‘You can go into my room already,’ said Hinata, with a smile. ‘I’ll turn all the lights off and lock the doors.’</p><p>‘Right.’</p><p>Kageyama slipped into Hinata’s room and left the door open slightly behind him. Now that he was alone, he could hear the soft <em>shhhh</em> of steady rain falling on the roof above. Tiredness weighed upon his eyelids and he figured he’d lounge on the bed at least until Hinata came back and told him where he ought to sleep. Surely the decoy had a futon folded away somewhere in one of the room’s storage closets that he would set up on the floor for him. Kageyama’s heart rate slowed and he felt gravity weighing down upon him as he lay on top of Hinata’s bed.</p><p>‘It’s so weird to see you on my bed, Bateyama-kun,’ said Hinata, as he stepped into the room and slid the door closed behind him.</p><p>Kageyama jumped slightly at the noise. Hinata was wearing light grey pyjama shorts and a mint green t-shirt which contrasted greatly against Kageyama's entirely-black boxer shorts and cotton pullover.</p><p>‘Sorry,’ said Kageyama, starting to sit up.</p><p>‘No, no, it's okay,’ said Hinata, hurriedly. ‘You can stay there.’</p><p>He switched the overhead light off and turned on the small lamp on the bedside table. He turned around to grin at Kageyama. Kageyama looked back at him, well aware of the surely strange expression on his face. He was overcome with an odd feeling. It was the first time they had ever been in this situation. The world of opportunity, which had for so long been eluding him with time constraints and efforts at secrecy, opened up to him. Kageyama felt like he could do anything, and yet there was really only one thing that he wanted to try in that moment. The gratitude that had been welling up in his chest throughout the day reached its threshold and he shoved aside his pride and held out his arm.</p><p>‘Come here,’ he murmured.</p><p>Hinata inhaled sharply and a look of confusion shot across his face before his features turned to careful composure. Kageyama didn’t care. He knew that what he was asking for was unprecedented and totally unlike him but he couldn’t refuse himself this indulgence. He had already shared so much with Hinata, what difference would this make? What else could Hinata hold against him that wasn’t just as incriminating? He was in far too deep to think about consequences now.</p><p>Hinata sat on the bed and lay back slowly into Kageyama’s embrace. There was tenseness in his body that told Kageyama the boy was feeling something, either timidity or nervousness or something else he couldn’t identify, but Kageyama couldn’t begin to question himself. This was happening. Hinata lay back and Kageyama wrapped his arm around him, pressed his lips to Hinata’s shoulder and closed his eyes. <em>Goddamn</em>, he thought. <em>What am I doing?!</em> But it was nice. Damn, it was so nice to be close to him. Kageyama held Hinata against himself and felt the decoy’s heart beat and the rhythm of his breathing in contrast to his own. He knew that a thousand questions must be whirring around in Hinata’s head and he was thankful for his silence - he didn’t want to have to explain himself or justify what he was doing. He wouldn’t even be able to find the words if he had to. He just hoped that Hinata would understand what he was feeling in that moment and that his body language would be enough to fill in the gaps of what was left unsaid.</p><p>Moments passed by as they lay unmoving and gradually Hinata’s breathing slowed and his body relaxed bit by bit in Kageyama’s arms. <em>What the hell am I doing?!</em> Kageyama bellowed internally at himself, but the more dominant side of himself shut the thought down. Not everything that he wanted to do with Hinata was of a sexual nature. This, too, was testing the waters. He didn’t know how long he wanted to stay lying like this but he knew that, despite one part of his brain yelling at him, he felt truly calm lying on the bed with Hinata in his arms. No matter how much he enjoyed doing sexual things with the decoy, a peculiar satisfaction soothed the beating of his heart at having Hinata like this, fully clothed and yet just as intimately close.</p><p>After some minutes had passed, Kageyama realised in the back of his mind that Hinata had fallen asleep. Before his own groggy brain could drift off, he shifted to switch off the lamp and pull the covers over them both. Hinata, wrapped up in the beginnings of slumber, turned around at the movement and nestled himself into Kageyama’s chest, draping his arm loosely over Kageyama’s side. Kageyama’s breath caught in his throat. <em>He’s so damn cute</em>, he thought furiously to himself. As a welcoming darkness obscured his vision, he wrapped his arm around the decoy and pressed his lips gently into his ginger hair. The familiar smell of fresh linen and tatami engulfed him and filled his chest with an enduring feeling of contentment. He breathed there for a while, allowing himself the indulgence that was Hinata’s existence as the decoy’s torso gently rose and fell in time with his sleep-slowed breathing. Kageyama was so far gone that he felt as if he didn’t have the capacity to bother fighting his urges anymore. He was totally and one hundred per cent wrapped up, body and soul, in the boy in his arms.</p><p>He had just slipped into a light doze when Hinata's quiet voice roused him.</p><p>‘Mmageyama,’ murmured Hinata, his lips moving against the front of Kageyama shirt.</p><p>‘Hm?’</p><p>‘We should, y’know… together.’</p><p>Kageyama’s brow furrowed slightly and clarity inched into his sleep-clogged brain.</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>‘Y’know,’ muttered Hinata, still sounding half-asleep. ‘We’ve done stuff, but there’s stuff we haven’t done.’</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes snapped open and he stared blankly into the darkness of the room. He suddenly felt wide awake. His heart started to pound in his ears. Sweat pricked on his palms. Was Hinata actually suggesting what Kageyama thought he was suggesting? But no, he couldn’t assume. He absolutely couldn’t make assumptions. He needed to be one hundred percent sure of what Hinata was implying.</p><p>‘What kind of stuff?’ he asked, careful to keep his voice steady.</p><p>‘Oh, you know,’ sighed Hinata, and he buried himself more snugly against Kageyama’s chest. ‘Stuff.’</p><p>‘Oi, what stuff?’ said Kageyama, more loudly.</p><p>He pushed Hinata back by the shoulder and tried to make out his face through the darkness as Hinata grunted in protest at being manhandled out of his dreamy state.</p><p>‘Don’t make me say it out loud!’ groaned Hinata.</p><p>He made to hide his face again but Kageyama held his shoulder firmly.</p><p>‘Stop acting like a kid and just say it, dumbass!’ he said.</p><p>‘Well, you know! I’m talking about… if we should go all the way.’</p><p>Kageyama couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation <em>with Hinata</em>. He certainly couldn’t believe that Hinata himself had brought it up in the first place. He had to concentrate to keep his breathing under control. He felt like it was too late at night for his brain to handle the topic. There was at least one thing that he had to get straight before continuing the conversation.</p><p>‘You know how that works, right?’ he asked, lowly.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ whispered Hinata. ‘Do you?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>Silence fell between them and Kageyama stared unseeing in the darkness. He had thought about having sex with Hinata more times than he could count. He had fantasised about it late at night when he was frustrated, or on the bus ride home from matches when he had time to let his mind wander. He had wondered how it would happen: would they be in his bed, perhaps during an after-school study session? Or would he pedal the mountain road to spend some time at Hinata’s house? Or would they sneak off somewhere in the dead of night at a training camp, or hang around late in the clubroom after everyone else had left? So many possibilities had occurred to him but each had felt just as improbable as the last, at least until now.</p><p>He looked down at where he could sense Hinata was looking at him and realised at that moment that the timing and place were irrelevant. As long as it was with Hinata, everything else was secondary.</p><p>‘Okay,’ muttered Kageyama. ‘I’d do it, if you want to, too.’</p><p>‘I would,’ said Hinata, firmly.</p><p>‘Did you — did you mean right now or —?’</p><p>‘No! Or — when do you think we should?’</p><p>‘Hmm.’ Kageyama exhaled and tried to bring enough clarity into his brain to think about this thing logistically. His heart was still racing.</p><p>‘Let's think about it tomorrow,’ proposed Hinata. ‘It’s late and I feel like I’m gonna fall asleep any second.’</p><p>‘Alright,’ said Kageyama, relieved.</p><p>‘And Kageyama?’</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>‘Goodnight.’</p><p>‘N-Night.’</p><p>Hinata nestled back into Kageyama’s chest and Kageyama rested his arm again around the decoy’s shoulders. He stared into the darkness for what felt like a long time, listening to the sounds of Hinata’s gentle breathing and his own heart thudding in his ears, and wondering how on Earth he was going to be able to fall asleep. </p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Second Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning dawned bright and Kageyama was woken by the sound of birds. It took him a moment to register where he was but the feeling of a breathing body beside him brought him joltingly to reality. It was Saturday morning and he was in Hinata’s bed. Kageyama was facing away from the window and in front of his face he could see Hinata’s tousled orange head on the pillow where he was lying with his back to the setter. Early-morning sunshine streamed in through cracks in the curtains and washed the room in a soft golden glow. Hinata’s hair shone aflame as it fanned out over his pillowcase. The events of the previous night ran through Kageyama’s mind. Now that he could see Hinata in the light of morning, utter disbelief descended upon him regarding the half-asleep conversation they had had in the dark. Hinata had proposed they have sex. The conversation had been left open-ended and they had agreed to discuss it further in the morning but Kageyama doubted his own ability to have a frank discussion face-to-face with the decoy about something of such an intimate and personal nature. It was true that Kageyama had himself assumed that something sexual would come to pass between them and it was for that reason that he had shamefacedly bought condoms and lubricant on his ride to Hinata’s house, but the prospect of actually doing the deed somehow felt like it had come completely out of the blue. He also felt mildly surprised that nothing sexual had happened between them the previous night considering how that was normally the underlying purpose of their interactions outside of school, but he also couldn't bring himself to regret how the evening had turned out. Kageyama had never been close with Hinata for the sake of closeness before. Sure, they had hugged and touched without shoving their hands down each other’s trousers but there was always a sexual nature lurking behind their physical contact — except for last night. Last night, it was embracing for the sake of closeness and nothing more. The thought wasn’t terrible. He hadn’t really considered closeness in and of itself before; normally, he would see it as a means to an end. But last night… Kageyama couldn’t deny that he hadn’t hated it, and it had been at his instigation, too. He didn’t know what had overcome him in the moment — he had merely acted as he usually did: physically, and without thinking.</p><p>He turned onto his back and rubbed his eyes before resting his hands on his chest. For a while, he drifted in and out of a light, dream-filled slumber until a prodding sensation brought him back to wakefulness. Hinata was peering up at him and poking him in the shoulder.</p><p>‘Good morning, Kageyama!’ he said, smiling sleepily at the setter beside him.</p><p>Kageyama’s heart leapt and all vestiges of sleep were immediately startled out of his mind. The presence of last night’s conversation ballooned into the bed between them and Kageyama wondered if Hinata was as painfully aware of it as he was.</p><p>‘M-Morning,’ he stammered.</p><p>‘Did you sleep okay?’ asked Hinata, lightly.</p><p>‘Yeah, just fine. Your bed’s soft.’</p><p>‘I know, it’s kind of old so it’s softer than normal.’ Hinata grinned sheepishly. ‘Sorry I fell asleep last night, I was just so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.’</p><p>‘It’s okay, I fell asleep right after you anyway,’ said Kageyama, somewhat gruffly to mask the embarrassment that coloured his cheeks at the lie.</p><p>‘Good!’</p><p>Kageyama was watching Hinata from the corner of his eye and for some reason he felt like he couldn’t look straight at the boy’s face. It would be like staring at the sun itself. Hinata sat up and stretched with an obnoxious yawn, rumpling his bird-nest hair. Kageyama watched him and suddenly wondered what Hinata would look like in that moment with no clothes on. <em>Get a grip!</em> he lectured himself internally. But he couldn’t help wondering and the reaches of his imagination seemed more lewd now that he knew the extent of Hinata's desire for closeness. Their conversation had been left open-ended and now that they were awake, Kageyama knew that he wouldn’t be able to face the day without getting a conclusion to Hinata’s proposition. Just the memory of Hinata’s words caused a deep, primal lust to purr in his chest and his eyes roved over Hinata’s form with a glint of hunger.</p><p>‘So, about what we talked about last night…’ he said, folding his arm casually behind his head.</p><p>Hinata flashed him a furtive look over his shoulder before turning away again.</p><p>‘What about it?’ asked Hinata, with seemingly forced nonchalance.</p><p>‘I’m guessing you had something in mind,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata seemed to hesitate and he cocked his head from one side to another as he pondered his response.</p><p>‘Well, you can stay over tonight, too, if you want,’ he said, after a moment.</p><p><em>He’s going to be the death of me</em>, thought Kageyama. He couldn’t fight the dark smirk playing about his lips.</p><p>‘You pervert,’ he said, slyly.</p><p>‘Shut up!’ snapped Hinata, as if he had been waiting for the remark. ‘I’m not a pervert, I’m just being practical! My family’s away and we don’t have any important matches coming up so it seems like as good a time as any.’</p><p>‘You want it, you just don’t want to admit it.’</p><p>Hinata snatched up his pillow and whacked Kageyama in the face with it. Kageyama shoved him in the shoulder and Hinata tumbled with a yelp onto the floor.</p><p>‘Dumbass,’ sighed Kageyama, and he rolled over under the covers again.</p><p>They ate a breakfast of steamed rice, grilled fish and miso soup seated on Hinata’s back porch. The dewy grass was shimmering in the morning sunlight and the garden was fragrant after a night of rain. The sunshine seemed to lift Hinata’s mood and he chatted animatedly as he ate, his ankles crossed over the edge of the porch, waving his chopsticks around to emphasise points of conversation. After breakfast, Hinata ran inside to grab his volleyball and they practiced together on the lawn in bare feet as the sun rode higher into the sky. For a time, their morning conversation was driven from Kageyama’s thoughts as he focussed on their training but as the day wore on it started to weigh more heavily on his mind. He knew about sex in theory but he had never done it before and the logistics still seemed somewhat of a mystery to him. The prospect of being faced with the act so soon filled his insides with butterflies. He couldn’t help the way his eyes lingered on Hinata’s body, watching the decoy’s movements as he tossed and received and wondering how it would look if he was naked. He looked at the openness in Hinata’s face as the decoy’s eyes were homed in on the volleyball and its trajectory through the air. Kageyama could hardly believe that airhead, naïve, childlike Hinata had all but outright asked if Kageyama would have sex with him. Hinata had obviously suggested that they do it today as his family were away, but when? After practice? In the evening? Hinata had offered for Kageyama to stay over another night so he guessed that any time between now and the time they went to sleep would somehow incorporate an opportunity. These thoughts and more of an increasingly lewd nature swirled around in Kageyama’s mind as the day wore on until the sun started to dip low in the western sky and Hinata suggested they have dinner. Again, Hinata impressed Kageyama with his skill at cooking and the setter watched as Hinata prepared a perfect dish of oyakodon which they shared in front of the television before Hinata went to bathe. Once it was Kageyama’s turn, his heart was beating significantly faster. The evening was wearing on and time was running out.</p><p>Hinata’s house had a deep tub and Kageyama washed himself before trying to relax in the hot water in spite of his building nerves. Sex with Hinata, sex with Hinata, sex with Hinata… He imagined himself pushing Hinata back into the bed and taking his clothes off, item at a time, until the decoy lay naked and expectant underneath him. Or would Hinata take control and sit in his lap, and guide Kageyama’s movements the way he wanted? No, even though it was Hinata’s idea, Kageyama doubted the decoy would be so bold. At least, not yet. Would Hinata be waiting for him as soon as he left the bathroom? Would he hold out until Kageyama made the first move or reach out himself? As the hot water drew the tension gradually out of Kageyama’s shoulders, he elected to do what he normally did when faced with such nerve-racking situations: he pushed all his thoughts aside and swore to himself that he would do whatever it was he felt like doing once the time came.</p><p>As his feet padded down the hallway towards Hinata's bedroom and he rubbed a towel through his inky hair, Kageyama felt oddly clear-headed and calm. Now was the moment. They hadn’t agreed upon it specifically nor had they discussed it at all since the morning but Kageyama knew that the time had come. They had practiced, they had eaten, they had bathed, what else was there to do? He slid open the bedroom door and saw Hinata sitting on the bed as if he had been waiting for him. Their eyes didn’t waver from one another’s as Kageyama pulled the door closed behind him, dropped his towel over the back of the desk chair and Hinata got to his feet. Now that Kageyama was faced with the reality of what he was going to do with Hinata, an unyielding hunger erupted in his chest and threatened to overwhelm him. It was an excitement like before the most important volleyball match of his life and the competitive tension that was usually taut between them flared up in Kageyama’s mind; but this time, it was different. There was a dark, voyeuristic edge to his lust, that was true, but it wasn’t just the urge to conquer Hinata that drove him — it was the desire for their partnership to achieve an end that carried the most importance in Kageyama’s mind. Hinata was staring at him with his cat-like eyes alight, watching the setter as if he was standing under the lights of Kamei Arena. His hands were balled into fists of conviction and his face was set. Kageyama stepped forward, gradually closing the distance between them, and reached out to brush his fingertips lightly down Hinata's cheek. The trail of his touch burned crimson in Hinata’s skin and the decoy’s eyes flicked tensely between Kageyama’s, which were looking down at him tenderly. Though it had been gentle and slow, the touch shifted the air in the room to become electrically charged. There was no doubt in either of their minds that now was the moment they had been waiting for. Unspoken, it had presented itself.</p><p>Kageyama held Hinata’s cheek in his long-fingered hand and tilted to decoy’s face up to his own as their lips met. Kageyama’s damp fringe fell over his eyes, which he squeezed tightly shut. Hinata stood on his tip toes and clung to Kageyama in a familiar embrace that eased the nerves that had been twisting in Kageyama’s stomach. Despite the fact that what they were heading towards was utterly new to him and undeniably daunting, this was Hinata: a boy that Kageyama trusted and already knew more intimately than anyone else in his life. It was a person to whom Kageyama had opened up and relied upon in both volleyball and in their private lives and Hinata was yet to fail him. Kageyama’s brow furrowed as he gave himself to their kiss and Hinata seemed to be holding onto him just as desperately. Kageyama knew that he would be able to tease the life out of Hinata before even getting started and the prospect utterly delighted him. He just had to keep himself under control and not lose his head. It was important to take things slow just as he had when they had spent the evening at his house and drawing it out would only make it better for the both of them.</p><p>He wound his arms around Hinata’s waist in a whole-hearted embrace that almost lifted Hinata off his feet and walked them backwards towards where he knew Hinata’s bed lay until the backs of Hinata’s shins made contact with the mattress. Without breaking their kiss, Hinata leaned back onto the bed, pulling Kageyama by the shirt front along with him. There was the slightest tremble either of nervousness or excitement - or both - in Hinata’s grip and Kageyama took the decoy’s hand in his own as Hinata lay back against the pillows. They were steering their relationship into entirely unknown territory but hand-holding was something comforting that they had been sharing for a long time now. It was a way that Kageyama could show Hinata that he was still the same person and that nothing dramatic was going to change between them after the night was over.</p><p>Kageyama kissed him deeply, revelling in the shape of Hinata’s lips to which he had grown so partial. No kiss had ever felt so weighted, had ever carried so much expectation as the one that they shared in that moment. It was a kiss that would take them forward to a situation from which there was no coming back. Kageyama’s heart was thundering in his chest as he felt Hinata’s body shift underneath him in response to their closeness. He parted his lips and ran the tip of tongue against Hinata’s bottom lip. Hinata pushed his tongue against Kageyama’s and roiling heat pooled in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. The tentative motions of Hinata's desire never failed to drive him wild. He felt hesitant fingers whisper up his skin, pushing his shirt up slightly to caress the bare skin of his waist. Goosebumps bloomed up his side at Hinata’s touch and he had to fight the urge to rip the boy’s clothes off then and there. He broke their kiss and leaned back slightly to see Hinata looking up at him with eyes burning. There was the light of excitement there, the driving burn that was normally brought out in a volleyball match and it was directed straight at Kageyama. <em>Yes</em>, thought the setter. <em>There it is</em>. The look that he so often tried to draw out of Hinata, that was a significant reason behind his efforts in the sport, was there smouldering right beneath him, and Kageyama was lost. He captured Hinata’s mouth in a searing kiss, pressing the decoy’s body down into the bed with his own as a blazing fire erupted between them. Hinata drew his knees apart to either side of Kageyama’s waist. As Kageyama’s erection pressed against the bulge in Hinata’s shorts, Hinata’s breath caught in his throat with a faltering gasp that turned into a sigh. Kageyama moved his hips between Hinata’s thighs as they kissed and his heart pounded in his ears.</p><p>The fan on Hinata’s desk clicked with every rotation, the curtains swayed lightly in the gentle breeze, and Hinata’s breath came out in heady pants. Kageyama’s mind was a blurry mess of orange and heat and the pulsing in his veins and he could feel himself falling little by little into the hypnotism of Hinata’s erotic sighing. The desperate drive that dogged him on the court fuelled his lips and the movement of his hands as he pushed Hinata<em>’</em>s shirt up over his chest, exposing the contours of his chest and the glistening peaks of his rigid nipples. Kageyama leaned back to drink in the sight of Hinata’s naked chest. It was a sight he had beheld more times than he could count and yet in that moment it could have been the first. Slowly, his fingertips whispered up the sides of Hinata’s rippling ribcage, sending a thrill of goosebumps along the decoy’s skin, and he circled around a familiar mole on Hinata’s side before his hand stopped and his curiosity was piqued. Hinata’s nipple, light pink and shining in the lamplight, caught his attention. Hinata was watching him wordlessly and Kageyama let his inhibitions fall away. The hunger flowing through him left no room for hesitation. The edge of his thumb grazed lightly over the peak and he watched as Hinata’s lips parted with the slightest of inhalations. Encouraged, Kageyama moved his thumb back and forth over the decoy’s nipple, feeling an eager heat pulse between his legs at the sight of its peak flicking under his touch. Hinata knotted his fingers into Kageyama’s hair and leaned his head back into the pillow as Kageyama ducked his head to bite searing kisses into his shoulder, his thumb pressing harder against Hinata’s chest, and he kissed a trail down to the nipple that his hands had been neglecting. He felt Hinata’s fingers tighten in his hair as he tasted the rigid heat that had collected there, swirling his tongue in tight circles as he moved his thumb over the other. Hinata’s sweet chest which he had seen so often when they were changing in the clubroom, dusted with peachy hairs and the occasional freckle or mole, squirmed and shuddered under his touch as Kageyama indulged himself on the luxury that was their intimacy. Hinata breathed his name and Kageyama felt his heart react with a throbbing beat that drove nearly all vestiges of self-control from his mind. All of his senses were homed in on Hinata’s shuddering, sighing body.</p><p>Gradually, Kageyama moved his hand from where it had been gripping Hinata’s waist down to where he knew the centre of the decoy’s pleasure lay. Hinata gasped when Kageyama touched him but he quickly relaxed into another heated kiss. Hinata’s length was packed stiff and bulging into his shorts and Kageyama smoothed his hand up and down its shape in loving caresses. His lust quickly mounted to a frenzy and it didn’t take long before he was pulling the decoy’s shorts and underpants off and tossing them aside onto the bed beside them. There was only one thing thing that could make itself known in the haze of Kageyama’s mind, and that was that he needed Hinata to sigh his name, he needed him to moan and beg the setter for more. He needed to explore every inch of Hinata until the decoy was at the utmost reaches of his limit. Kageyama leaned back over Hinata and took hold of his shaft, which glowed hot and hard in his hand. As he bit down on Hinata’s lower lip, his fingers became slick with precome. Hinata’s muscles were shifting repeatedly between lax and tense as he responded to the waves of pleasure warring with the thrill of anticipation for what Kageyama would do next. The shape of Hinata’s cock in his hand was a familiar one to Kageyama and he had become accustomed to the strength of grip and speed that Hinata liked most. The wild desire for more screamed inside of his mind but Kageyama was able to push it aside, only because he knew that this time he would be able to get everything that he wanted.</p><p>He ran his hand one last time down Hinata’s length and continued his fingers down between Hinata’s thighs. Hinata’s eyes shot open and caught his gaze but Kageyama kissed him fiercely as he pressed his forefinger to Hinata’s entrance. A hint of nervousness returned amid the ever-mounting desire at the reality of what he was about to do. The throbbing in his boxer shorts was driving him on and the all-too-familiar animal in his head was salivating, and the butterflies in his stomach were quelled by the ferocity with which Hinata returned his kiss.</p><p>Kageyama stopped momentarily and made to reach into his backpack. In that moment, he was immensely thankful for his foresight and he inwardly said a prayer of thanks to the little old lady from the pharmacy. Hinata, shirt still bunched up over his chest and one sock pushed lower than the other, simultaneously propped himself up on his elbows and reached across to his nightstand.</p><p>‘Here,’ he said, breathlessly. ‘I bought this.’</p><p>He turned back to Kageyama with a tube of lubricant in his hand just as Kageyama extracted his own bottle from his bag. Their eyes equally widened.</p><p>‘When did you buy that?!’ asked Hinata, pointing at the bottle in Kageyama’s hand.</p><p>‘On my way here,’ Kageyama admitted. ‘When did you buy yours?’</p><p>‘Um.’ Hinata looked embarrassed. ‘After we had dinner at your place.’</p><p>Kageyama grinned and snatched the tube from Hinata’s hand, tossing his own back onto his bag.</p><p>‘You really are a pervert,’ he said.</p><p>‘If buying lube makes me a pervert then you’re just as much of a pervert as I am!’ protested Hinata. </p><p>‘Did you forget that this was your idea in the first place?’  </p><p>‘No, but you seem to have, you’re taking forever.’</p><p>He tugged at Kageyama’s sleeve impatiently.</p><p>‘Give me a second!’ hissed Kageyama, as he fumbled with the lube bottle.</p><p>‘You’re too slow, hurry up!’ Hinata protested.</p><p>His protest was quickly replaced by a shuddering gasp as Kageyama’s slicked-up fingers spread his thighs apart and circled around his entrance.</p><p>‘Wh-what are you doing?!’ Hinata moaned, and he covered his face with his arms.</p><p>‘Playing with you, what does it seem like I’m doing? And move your arms, I want to see your face.’</p><p>Kageyama pried Hinata’s arms off as he pushed his forefinger through the tight ring of muscle. He felt Hinata from the inside and a clenching heat squeezed tight around his finger. The grip of it was so tight that Kageyama knew he would have to take his time if he had any hope of ending their evening the way they had intended. Tears smarted in the corners of Hinata’s eyes and Kageyama could feel the hunger in his face as he watched the decoy closely. Hinata groaned under his breath as Kageyama worked him open, slowly and carefully relaxing his entrance in preparation for what was to come. Kageyama pushed in deeper with every draw of his finger, feeling the tightness grip him until it relaxed enough to fit a second finger. He slowly withdrew to add more lube before sliding his middle and index fingers back inside the boy that shuddered at the sensation.</p><p>‘Does that feel good?’ murmured Kageyama, watching Hinata’s face intently.</p><p>Hinata, eyebrows upturned, biting hard onto his lower lip in a poor attempt at preventing any noises from escaping, was only able to nod. Kageyama’s heart leapt and dark hunger crept into his eyes as he deigned to lazily stroke Hinata’s cock while he moved his slicked-up fingers in and out of Hinata. The decoy gripped the sheet beside his head and arched his back. Only after he had worked in a third finger did Kageyama withdraw his hands, both satisfied that Hinata was ready and unable to wait any longer. He leaned back on his heels and let his eyes drink in the sight of the boy lying prone before him. Hinata’s face was a wreck. His lips were a kiss-bitten red, shining in the lamplight; his hair was even more tousled than Kageyama would have thought possible, dark purple kiss marks were blooming over his collar and a little pool of precome had gathered on his lower stomach. A thrill of triumph flared in Kageyama’s chest but he wasn’t satisfied yet. Hinata’s eyes were glazed over with pleasure, seemingly half-unseeing as he gazed up through his lashes at where Kageyama was kneeling between his legs. Kageyama grabbed the box of condoms from his bag and tore one packet open with his teeth, lowering his boxer shorts as he did so. He pinched the top and rolled it over himself.</p><p>‘Are you ready?’ asked Kageyama, his voice sounding low and husky in his own ears.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes gained some clarity and he closed his lips before nodding. Kageyama stared at him for a moment, unmoving, committing it all to memory. He didn’t want to forget this for the rest of his life: the way Hinata’s chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing, the heat and pressure of Hinata’s knees as they rested on either side of Kageyama’s waist, the pair of shorts and briefs on the bed beside them, the blanket that had been pushed to the bottom of the bed and lay half on the floor, the dull muscle ache in his right hand and the stickiness of his fingers. Kageyama wanted to remember all of it. Hinata may have been interpreting Kageyama’s lack of action as hesitation as he reached his hand out to tug encouragingly on Kageyama’s wrist. Kageyama tutted at Hinata’s impatience and he took up the tube of lube from the edge of the bed. He squirted some into his hand to rub over himself, lifting up the bottom of his shirt as he did so. He guided himself between Hinata’s thighs and pressed against his entrance. Hinata gasped at the sensation and pulled away slightly before settling back and giving Kageyama a nervous nod of reassurance. Kageyama moved, pushing his hips down against Hinata, and was forced to bite his lip and swallow the moan that threatened to escape his lips. The feel of Hinata, squeezed so tight and hot around his girth, almost pushed Kageyama over the edge. He was going to have to be careful and take things slowly. A look of pain flashed across Hinata’s face and he pressed his hand flat against Kageyama’s chest.</p><p>‘W-Wait, just wait a moment,’ he choked.</p><p>‘Are you okay?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>‘Yeah, just give me a second.’</p><p>Kageyama waited as Hinata adjusted to the new sensation until he pulled gently at the setter’s hip. Kageyama took that as permission to continue and he pushed in further, inch by agonising inch until he had filled Hinata up, then he drew himself slowly out before pushing back inside him. Hinata covered his mouth with his hand and threw his head back against the pillow, exposing the whiteness of his throat and peak of his adam's apple. The tendons in his arms stuck out taut as his body tensed up at the sensation and Kageyama took his hand.</p><p>‘Relax,’ he murmured. ‘Are you sure you want to keep going?’</p><p>‘Yes,’ said Hinata, and he exhaled and relaxed as Kageyama had told him. ‘I want to keep going, please.’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t think he had ever heard Hinata use the word “please” when asking him of anything before. It made him smirk to think that the one thing Hinata would beg of him was this. He pushed himself slowly inside and then out again, moving his hips against the decoy, fighting with the desperate urge to let himself go. Waves of pleasure washed over him with every thrust. Kageyama gripped the bedsheet under his hands as he felt Hinata’s incredible heat tighten around him. Sweat began to bead in his temples and his breath grew rapid as the pace of his thrusts gradually grew. It felt so good — better than Kageyama could have thought up in his wildest dreams, beyond the furthest extent of his imagination. Hands alone could never compare, could never come close to replicating this gripping tightness enclosed about him, nor had he ever seen Hinata’s entire being look so devastatingly erotic. Kageyama pushed himself entirely inside of Hinata as far as his length would allow and Hinata gasped audibly, his eyes flashing to Kageyama’s face.</p><p>‘I can’t tell if you’re trying to be nice or punish me,’ groaned Hinata.</p><p>‘You’ll just have to get used to it,’ murmured Kageyama.</p><p>‘As if I could ever get used to this…’</p><p>Kageyama clasped Hinata's chin and swallowed the decoy’s heady moan in a heated kiss as he bucked his hips against him. He felt a hand grasp his waist as Hinata’s soft moans rose gradually in pitch with every one of Kageyama’s thrusts. Kageyama could feel the hand at his waist pulling him forward and he took that as a sign to go faster. He didn’t know how much longer he could last — he had been battling with the peak of pleasure that had been threatening to overwhelm him since the start. Kageyama’s brow furrowed as he fought the urge and the competitive voice in the back of his head told him he had to get Hinata there first before he finished.</p><p>He began gradually stroking Hinata’s cock in time with the movement of his hips. Hinata squeezed his eyes shut at the sensation, his back arching as his whole body tensed up and his fingers dug painfully into Kageyama’s waist. Kageyama knew that Hinata was close - he could see it in his face, hear it in his voice, and feel it in the agonising heat that clenched around his cock. With a shuddering groan, liquid heat spilled out over Kageyama’s fingers and he rode the decoy through the quaking convulsions of bliss that rocked his entire body. Finally, Kageyama was able to let himself go. Months of build-up had led him to this moment. Wave upon wave built up inside him until his pleasure peaked and flooded out of him with a bitten-off moan as he drove himself into Hinata for the last final throes of gratification.</p><p>Panting, Kageyama hung his head and fought to catch his breath. He felt like he was seeing stars. Hinata’s hands fell limp to his sides. After a moment, Kageyama drew himself out and slumped back onto the bed beside Hinata. He closed his eyes and revelled in the come-down. His body felt utterly spent. Through the workings of his foggy brain, he wondered again how he had ended up in this situation. He thought about himself from yesterday, or himself from last week, and wondered what he would have said if he could somehow have known then that in a week’s time he would be lying in Hinata's bed, sticky from lube, semen and sweat, trying to catch his breath. He looked over at where Hinata was staring unseeing up at the ceiling, his eyes still seeming oddly glazed-over.</p><p>‘That was good,’ Kageyama commended.</p><p>Hinata looked over blankly before his face split into a sheepish grin and he covered his eyes with his arm.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘It was.’</p><p>Kageyama smirked before removing the condom and trying it off. He got up and headed down the hall to the bathroom. He drank heavily from the tap and splashed his face and neck with cold water before Hinata joined him and they cleaned up before heading back to bed. Kageyama felt like his brain still hadn’t fully gained clarity as he settled into his pillow for the night. Hinata turned his back to Kageyama, but before he did so he grabbed Kageyama’s arm and pulled it around himself. Kageyama wrapped his arm around Hinata’s waist and felt the decoy’s body nestle comfortably back against his own. He felt satisfied — truly satisfied — more than he had ever felt in his life. As his breathing slowed and a heavy cloud of sleep descended upon him, he absently stroked Hinata’s chest back and forth with the edge of his thumb. Tendrils of slumber dragged him under and just as his consciousness was about to slip away, Hinata voice pulled him back.</p><p>‘Kageyama?’</p><p>‘Mm?’</p><p>‘I’m glad you stayed over.’</p><p>The corner of Kageyama’s lips upturned and he squeezed his arm tighter around the decoy.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘So am I.’ </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Ren here. I'm a little nervous about this chapter because I feel like the build-up was so long, I hope you enjoyed it. I kept it a bit vanilla seeing as it's their first time but I'm sure they'll get the chance to experiment a bit more with one another in the upcoming chapters. Thank you so much for your patience with me, I hope you liked reading this week's chapter and I look forward to seeing you again next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Sneaking and Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kageyama woke up, he was alone. He rolled over onto his back in the middle of the bed and blinked the ceiling slowly into focus. Scenes of the previous night flashed through his mind. He was still in a general state of disbelief that Hinata had let him do what he had done and that he himself had wanted to do it — and so desperately, at that. Any vestige of pretence over the nature of their more-than-friends relationship had been officially shattered. There could never again be any uncertainty or miscommunication between them relating to what kind of relationship they had: sleeping together was something so far from the realm of “friendship” or “teammates” that it was unmistakable, even to Kageyama. He couldn’t deny that the clarity was oddly relieving. As he lay there in Hinata’s bed, he felt utterly at ease and he knew in the back of his mind that the feeling would persist even after he went home. Now that they had done it and he had the blessing of hindsight, he realised that the idea of sleeping with Hinata had been lurking there in the back of his mind for months and had been the true source of all his endeavours of closeness with the decoy since… well, since their first training camp in Tokyo, if he was honest with himself. He remembered how he had grabbed Hinata by the wrist and dragged him outside after their ping-pong game and pushed him against the wall. Even then, with clear eyes now Kageyama realised that all he wanted was to see Hinata as he was last night, wearing only socks and a t-shirt that was bunched up over his chest, glistening with sweat and moaning Kageyama’s name with eyes that begged for more. That blazing look that Hinata wore when his focus and drive were at their peak was so erotic to Kageyama only because when it was directed at the setter, it was for him and him alone. And Kageyama knew that there was no coming back from what they had done last night.</p><p>The smell of cooking fish and miso interrupted his musing and Kageyama surmised that Hinata was making breakfast. He wondered, with a twinge of anxiety, what time Hinata’s family were coming back home. If Kageyama was suddenly faced with Hinata’s parents and sweet little sister, he wouldn’t be able to look any of them in the eye.</p><p>The door slid open and Hinata appeared there, looking curiously into the bedroom. His face lit up when he saw Kageyama peering at him blearily through his lashes. Seeing Hinata’s usual sunny grin twisted a knot of arousal in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. That grin that he had seen a thousand times before was so innocent and unassuming, and yet he knew now how Hinata’s face could look in the most private and intimate of moments. It satisfied him to think that no one else had ever seen Hinata look the way that he did last night; it was all for Kageyama’s eyes only.</p><p>‘Oh, you’re awake, Bateyama-kun!’ said Hinata. ‘I made breakfast, come on.’</p><p>Kageyama tutted at the nickname, pushed his arousal down, and got out of bed. Hinata had made a breakfast far beyond Kageyama’s own skill and he ate gratefully at the kitchen table. Their conversation was somewhat stilted at first and Kageyama felt the awkwardness after the events of last night weigh on Hinata’s words, but he himself didn’t mind. He didn’t have the capacity to feel uncomfortable around Hinata anymore. There was nothing else for him to hide.</p><p>‘Hinata,’ said Kageyama, after a lull in their conversation.  </p><p>‘What’s up?’</p><p>‘Did you ask me to stay over this weekend because you knew we’d end up doing what we did last night?’</p><p>Kageyama's scowl was set as he committed to the question despite Hinata’s look of mild surprise.</p><p>‘Well, actually no,’ said Hinata. He tapped his bottom lip thoughtfully with the end of his chopsticks. ‘I thought that maybe we’d do <em>something</em> but it wasn’t the reason why I asked you.’</p><p>‘Then what made you ask to — to do what we did?’ asked Kageyama. ‘You were the one that brought it up.’</p><p>‘You were nice on Friday night,’ said Hinata, simply. ‘I’d been kind of wondering for a while if you only wanted to hang out with me because you wanted to do sexual stuff and thinking that way kind of put me off. I mean, I wanted to do that kind of stuff too but not only that, you know? And then on Friday we were in bed together and, well, it was nice.’ He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘It made me think that you didn’t come here just to do perverted things but also to — to be with me.’</p><p>‘Of course I came here to be with you, dumbass,’ said Kageyama, scowling.</p><p>‘Calling me “dumbass” ruins whatever nice thing you’re saying, you know!’ snapped Hinata.</p><p>‘I wouldn’t say it if you didn’t need reminding that you’re a dumbass, dumbass.’</p><p>‘Just leave that bit off! Is it really so hard? Just leave it!’</p><p>Their bickering lessened the awkward tension between them and Hinata fell back to happily chattering about his grandmother's house and different holidays he had spent there as a child. His family were due to be home in the early afternoon and they both wordlessly agreed that Kageyama would leave before that. They finished their breakfast and Kageyama got to work on the sinkload of dishes that had accumulated over the past couple of days while Hinata tidied up the living room and his bedroom to get rid of any evidence that he had had a guest over. Finally, Kageyama packed up his things and headed to the entryway to leave.</p><p>‘Um, thanks for coming over!’ said Hinata, with a shining smile. ‘I had fun.’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He felt like he ought to say something but he wasn’t sure what he ought to express. “Thanks for having sex with me”? “Hope we can sleep together again”? “Sorry for being weird”?</p><p>‘See you Monday,’ he said, kicking himself inwardly at his inability to express himself.</p><p>‘Right,’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘See you Monday.’</p><p>Kageyama stepped forward to convey what he wanted to say physically instead of verbally. He took Hinata’s cheek in his hand and kissed him tenderly. Hinata, who was at Kageyama’s eye level as he was standing on the step above the entryway, wound his arms loosely around Kageyama’s shoulders and held him close as they shared a final goodbye. When Kageyama rode home, he felt like he was riding in the clouds.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Kageyama thought it was strange to go to school, see his classmates, sit in lessons and go to volleyball practice after everything that had transpired over the weekend. He couldn’t help feeling like something huge had shaken his world and changed him as a person, and yet daily life went on around him as if nothing significant had happened. It was as if he was keeping a huge secret that separated himself from the rest of his peers. At lunch, Kageyama received a text message from Hinata that he, too, had failed the Japanese exam. They raced to the gym after class where Hinata lamented his loss, claiming that luck was against him. Ukai lectured him for failing the exam as he had lectured Kageyama and they trained extra long to make up for having to miss Wednesday’s practice session due to the re-sit. It was almost as if the universe was trying to reinforce the fact that nothing had inherently changed in Kageyama’s world and life would continue as usual. Little by little, whatever residual disbelief that had lingered at the shattering of Kageyama’s virginity dispersed, only to be replaced by a growing desire to see Hinata wearing only socks and a t-shirt again.</p><p>On Tuesday, they were given instructions where the re-sit would be held and the following day, Kageyama found himself walking against the crowds of students making their way to the exit after the final bell as he headed down the corridor to the classroom where the re-sit was being held. When he got the classroom, Kageyama noticed immediately that Hinata was already there. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second before he took his seat at a desk by the window a row behind the decoy, scowling against the slight increase in his heart rate. There were three other students all looking equally ashamed at having to be there at all. Kageyama leaned on his elbow and looked sullenly out of the window. He could see the track field below and vaguely hear whistles in the distance as coaches and captains instructed small teams of students practicing around the track. He tapped his finger restlessly on the desk in front of him.</p><p>The teacher walked among the desks to hand out the tests to each student.</p><p>‘Okay everyone,’ she said. ‘Please return your exams face-down onto the front desk when you are finished. I’ll be collecting them in two hours once the time is over. Remember, no talking and you are permitted to leave once you have completed the test but do so quietly so as to not bother the other students still working. The last student to leave should put the chairs up on the tables before they go. Good luck.’</p><p>The teacher headed out to the corridor and closed the door behind her. Kageyama sighed and turned the paper over on his desk. In that moment, he felt like he would rather be anywhere else in the world than here. It was as if his brain had turned to mush and all he could see was the memory of Hinata’s hazy eyes glistening along with the sound of his breathy moans. Tutting slightly under his breath, he picked up his pencil and read through the questions. Ahead of him, Hinata’s shoulders looked particularly bunched up as he was scrawling on the paper in front of him.</p><p>After an hour and a half had passed, the other three students got to their feet, one-by-one, and put their tests on the teacher’s desk before leaving the classroom until Kageyama and Hinata were the only ones left. Finally, Kageyama accepted that he had done all that he could do and he got up to put his paper on the desk.</p><p>‘How did you do?’ asked Hinata, from behind him.</p><p>‘Good enough, I guess,’ said Kageyama, looking over his shoulder at the decoy.</p><p>‘Me too,’ said Hinata, and he leaned back in his chair with a sigh. ‘As long as I pass, that’s all I care about. If I fail again, you’ll have to dig me up for volleyball practice because Daichi and Ukai would have killed me.’</p><p>He, too, got to his feet and left his exam on top of the pile.</p><p>‘Come on,’ said Kageyama. ‘Let’s put the chairs up so we can get out of here.’</p><p>‘Do you still want to do volleyball practice after?’</p><p>‘Duh.’</p><p>‘It was legitimate question!’ argued Hinata. ‘What are the chances the others have locked up the gym already?’</p><p>‘We should go and check just in case,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, we can always practice outside, too…’</p><p>They chatted while they upturned all the chairs onto the desks, creating a forest of chair legs that cast lines of shadow across the room from the westering sun. Hinata's hair was shining in the warm orange light and his eyes were alight as he proposed different strategies he wanted to practice. Kageyama didn’t even realise that his feet were taking him closer to the decoy until Hinata looked up questioningly.</p><p>‘Eh? What's up, Kageyama?’</p><p>Kageyama reached out and took Hinata’s hand in his own. Hinata’s eyes widened.</p><p>‘Hey, we can’t do anything here!’ he said, his eyes darting to the door and back. ‘We’re in school, anyone could come past!’</p><p>‘I know, I know,’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>But he didn’t let go of Hinata’s hand. The decoy’s eyes shone golden in the last vestiges of sunlight as he looked up at Kageyama, half-nervously and half-expectantly. The distant sounds of whistles and shouting from the track field below drifted in through the window and Kageyama ducked his head to press his lips against Hinata’s. Hinata kissed him back, hesitantly at first but Kageyama didn’t miss the increase in pressure of Hinata’s fingers twined around his. The tension that had been knitted up in his brow smoothed as Hinata’s lips moulded softly against his and he felt as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. They broke apart but their faces remained close.</p><p>‘I can’t stop thinking about — about what we did on Saturday,’ whispered Hinata, glancing meekly up at Kageyama.</p><p>‘I know,’ said Kageyama, and he was barely able to conceal the hunger in his voice. ‘Wanna do it again?’</p><p>Hinata nodded once, his face set.</p><p>‘Call me a pervert all you want, I don’t care,’ he said.</p><p>‘I thought we agreed that we’re equally perverted?’ said Kageyama, with a frown.</p><p>Hinata’s face split into a grin.</p><p>‘True,’ he said. ‘It’s probably the only thing I can agree with you about.’</p><p>‘Practice first,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Practice first,’ Hinata affirmed.</p><p>They left the classroom, letting go of each other’s hands before reaching the corridor. Yamaguchi, Ennoshita and Narita were still in the gym practicing serves and they gathered around Hinata and Kageyama to ask about their exam and to tell the latecomers what they had missed.</p><p>‘Ukai was in a bad mood today,’ said Ennoshita.</p><p>‘Because we weren’t there?’ asked Hinata, anxiously.</p><p>‘I guess so, and Tsukishima’s skipping training on Friday, too, apparently.’</p><p>‘He is?’ Hinata cocked his head to one side in confusion. ‘Why?’</p><p>‘A relative is visiting him from Tokyo,’ explained Yamaguchi. ‘They’re coming on Friday afternoon and only staying for the weekend so he has to be home.’</p><p>‘So Ukai was annoyed that so many players are missing practice this week — which are his words, not mine,’ said Narita, quickly clarifying that he wasn’t of the same mind.</p><p>‘Too bad!’ sighed Hinata. ‘I hope he knows we would have rather been in training today than doing the exam.’</p><p>‘He knows,’ said Ennoshita, reassuringly. ‘He probably just doesn’t care.’</p><p>‘That doesn’t make me feel any better.’</p><p>Eventually, they all split up to practice their own skills, with Yamaguchi, Ennoshita and Narita continuing serving and Kageyama and Hinata deciding on their developing their classic quick attack. As they had started later than the others, Hinata and Kageyama stayed until it was fully dark outside and the other three had long since gone home.</p><p>‘It’s getting late,’ said Kageyama, noticing the clock on the wall for the first time since they had arrived. ‘We should probably return the keys.’</p><p>‘Oh, right,’ said Hinata, sounding disappointed. ‘So, um, can I come over to your place then?’</p><p>Kageyama’s heart leapt. Hinata was looking at him sheepishly but there was a light kindled behind his eyes.<em> Yes, you can</em>. The words he wanted to say appeared instantly in Kageyama’s mouth but he swallowed them regretfully. His father, who had been away on a business trip for almost two weeks, had returned the previous evening and was sure to be lounging on the couch watching television at this time of night.</p><p>‘My father’s home,’ he muttered.</p><p>Hinata’s face fell and the light there dimmed somewhat.</p><p>‘Oh, okay,’ he said, disappointedly.</p><p>Kageyama crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the ceiling in thought. There had to be a way. They couldn’t go to his house, nor could they visit Hinata’s considering his family were home and it was so far away; but now that the prospect of intimacy with Hinata had been offered to him, he would never be able to go home without fulfilling the decoy’s wishes.</p><p>‘It’s Wednesday, right?’ he said.</p><p>‘Uh, yeah? What of it?’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘The janitor doesn’t come on Wednesdays,’ Kageyama said, holding the decoy’s gaze intently.</p><p>He stepped towards Hinata and there was a hungry look in his face like a carnivore circling a lonely fawn. Hinata gulped, his eyes wide.</p><p>‘Come on,’ said Kageyama, aware of the intensity in his expression. ‘The clubroom’s going to be empty.’</p><p>They cleaned up quickly in their eagerness to leave and the silence that settled between them was heavy with expectancy. They didn’t have a lot of time and the clubroom was certainly not ideal but Kageyama knew that they had to work with the situation that was at hand. Hinata switched the lights off and Kageyama locked the gym with fidgeting hands and they hurried across the dark courtyard and up the stairs to the clubroom. Kageyama’s heart rate mounted with every step that took him closer to privacy and intimacy with Hinata.</p><p>‘It feels so indecent doing stuff in here,’ said Hinata, glancing from side to side as Kageyama closed the clubroom door behind them.</p><p>‘There’s no way anyone’s coming past at this time,’ said Kageyama, pulling the curtain closed.</p><p>‘I know, I know. It’s still indecent, though. The others come here every day and have no idea what we’ve done in here.’</p><p>‘Does it bother you?’</p><p>‘No. Actually…’ Hinata hesitated before smirking crookedly. ‘I kind of like it.’</p><p>Kageyama, too, grinned darkly.</p><p>‘If only the others had any idea what goes on in your unseemly mind,’ he said, stepping closer to the decoy.</p><p>‘Unseemly?!’</p><p>‘Come here.’</p><p>Hinata's words of indignation were drowned in Kageyama’s kiss as the setter walked him further back into the room. They stopped when the backs of Hinata’s thighs came in contact with the lonely desk at the furthest end from the door. The fact that Hinata got excited at the prospect of doing indecent things in places they shared with their acquaintances made arousal throb in Kageyama’s veins and he found his hands to be more hurried, his lips more urgent as he pushed Hinata back onto the desk. His fingers splayed flat on the wooden surface on either side of the decoy who had parted his knees to allow Kageyama closer. Lust growled in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. Hunger drove him to move his tongue against Hinata’s and press himself flush against the decoy’s body.</p><p>‘Want me to make you feel good?’ murmured Kageyama, looking at Hinata through his fringe.</p><p>Hinata nodded, his eyes wide and cheeks burning.</p><p>‘Alright then.’</p><p>Kageyama knelt down slowly in front of Hinata, not taking his eyes off the decoy who swallowed hard as he watched Kageyama get to his knees. Kageyama hooked his fingers into the elastic of Hinata’s volleyball shorts and pulled them slowly down before himself. He felt a fierce hunger burn in the pit of his stomach. It was an insatiable starvation that drove him on and trapped him on his knees. He longed to gorge himself on the orange-haired decoy before him and get him to the point of ecstasy which had glazed his eyes over and driven all sense from his mind. With sure fingers, Kageyama pulled down Hinata's briefs and beheld the sight before him. Hunger growled in the pit of his stomach as his eyes, which glinted brightly, took in the sight of Hinata’s shining erection mere centimetres from his face. He brushed light kisses at the V of Hinata’s hips, working his way slowly further down until his breath whispered over Hinata's cock. He heard Hinata’s breath hitch somewhere above him as Kageyama sucked burning kisses up its length. As soon as he reached the tip, Kageyama swirled his tongue over the head, tasting the familiar saltiness of precome that had gathered there, and taking it fully into his mouth. Hinata exhaled and leaned back onto the desk. Kageyama got to work.</p><p>With every draw, Kageyama’s head grew clearer. He felt curiously calm as he concentrated on preventing his arousal from taking over his body; instead, he focussed on the heat under his hand and the hardness against his tongue. He was driven to push Hinata over the edge until the decoy’s muscles would go lax and his voice would fail him. Kageyama was the only person who was able to bring that state to the decoy and he prided himself on making Hinata feel the best that he could possibly feel. He cupped the underside of Hinata’s knee and pushed the decoy’s leg up onto the chair beside them to spread his legs apart. Kageyama ran his fingers up the inside of Hinata’s thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. For a second, he broke away to dig into his backpack for the bottle of lube he had bought on his way to Hinata’s house over the weekend. He squirted some into his fingers, flashed a glance at Hinata’s face, and took him into his mouth again as his index finger pressed up against Hinata’s entrance. Hinata, his cheeks flushed and his eyes smarting, leaned back shakily onto his elbows and he watched Kageyama’s progress as if unable to take his eyes off him. Kageyama pushed his finger inside of him, sliding in agonisingly slowly and causing a bitten-off gasp to sound above him. Excitement exhilarated through Kageyama’s veins as the heat clenched tightly around his finger and he took Hinata entirely into his mouth as he drew his finger out and slid it back in again. Soon, he moved his head back and forth in earnest as Hinata’s body slowly relaxed and he was able to fit a second, and then a third, finger.</p><p>‘Kageyama — ah — I’m ready, come on,’ said Hinata, in jolting gasps.</p><p>Kageyama didn’t need telling twice. He got to his feet and lowered his trackpants. It occurred to him to grab a condom from his backpack and he tore the little foil package open with his teeth. There wasn’t a bathroom in the clubroom and the school was closed so using a condom would be easier for the both of them. He wondered vaguely if he ought to talk with Hinata about doing it without a condom some time but now was not the time and he couldn’t really focus on anything but the boy sitting half-naked and expectant in front of him. He appraised Hinata's position and the desk upon which the decoy was seated. A flame flickered in his eyes.</p><p>‘Turn around,’ said Kageyama, lowly.</p><p>Hinata did as he was told, planting his feet flat on the floor and bending over onto the desk as the setter squirted more lube over himself and positioned himself at Hinata's entrance. He spread Hinata open with his thumb and pushed himself slowly inside. He heard Hinata swear under his breath and the decoy pressed his forehead against his arm. Immediately, Kageyama felt explosive heat fire up inside of his chest and he dug his fingers into Hinata’s waist to keep himself under control. The clenching heat transported him back to Hinata's bed and he was lost to the lust that coloured his eyes in shades of pink and red. Little by little, he started moving his hips, drawing himself out before sliding in again. Hinata gripped the desk in front of himself as his breath came in staggering heaves. <em>Shit</em>, thought Kageyama, as he clenched his teeth. <em>This is too much</em>. He tried to force the overwhelming sensations out of his head but the all-encompassing heat of the decoy took over his senses. Hinata arched back to look around at Kageyama’s face and Kageyama grabbed him by the throat, pulling him back into a needy kiss as he thrust into him. He bit down on Hinata's lower lip before the decoy fell forward over the desk again, his fiery hair bouncing into his eyes with every thrust. It was so good, so erotic, so indecent that Kageyama was overcome by a wild drive to make Hinata moan his name aloud then and there in the clubroom.</p><p>He reached around and grasped the centre of Hinata’s pleasure under him and began to stroke as he knew Hinata liked from their last session on Saturday night. Hinata’s knuckles went taut as he gripped the desk and he panted into the space in front of him. Kageyama felt the tightness around him grip and flex as he drove in deeper and worked at Hinata's cock, moving his hand in a steady rhythm up and down.</p><p>‘Dammit, Kage — yama,’ moaned Hinata, in stilted bursts. ‘You’re — messing — up — my insides —’</p><p>He started moving back against Kageyama, increasing the speed and forcing Kageyama in deeper. Kageyama bit his lip hungrily and felt the heat radiating from Hinata’s cock in his hand. The veins in Hinata’s forearms stuck out prominently, his knuckles turned white and his breath caught in his chest as his pleasure peaked. Kageyama worked him through it, stroking at his cock until the decoy was utterly spent, careful to keep the burning evidence of his release trapped in his hands. Kageyama soon followed as he allowed himself to indulge in the sensations he had been so desperately trying to control. The tightness around him, the slippery heat, the way Hinata looked bent over the desk before him; he bit his teeth together against the moans threatening to escape as he pumped his final agonising thrusts into Hinata.</p><p>It took Kageyama a moment to gather his thoughts and he only withdrew after the decoy looked questioningly over his shoulder. He washed his hands in the sink beside the lockers; then, he slipped the condom off and tied it into a knot before shoving it back into the foil packet and wrapping it into tissues.</p><p>‘I like doing that with you, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, with a grin.</p><p>Not for the first time, Hinata’s honesty and openness caught Kageyama off guard. He pulled his trousers up and shoved the ball of tissues into his pocket.</p><p>‘R-Right,’ he said.</p><p>‘I guess we won’t have a chance to meet up again this week,’ Hinata mused.</p><p>‘We finished two minutes ago and you’re already thinking about next time?’ said Kageyama, in disbelief. ‘Your stamina is ridiculous.’</p><p>Hinata’s face shone at the compliment. They locked up the clubroom and returned the keys to the box outside of the door to the janitor’s office.</p><p>‘I’ll see you tomorrow!’ said Hinata, with a sunny grin.</p><p>‘See you,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He watched Hinata wave, mount his bike and ride off into the night. They had done it again. Kageyama felt oddly weightless as he walked home and he wondered vaguely when they would have their next opportunity to meet up outside of school. Now that his father was back from his business trip, the Kageyama household was out of the question. The thought didn’t bother him too much; he knew that the opportunity would present itself in due time. There was little that could stop Hinata when he had his mind set on something. As annoying as the decoy usually was, Kageyama couldn’t help feeling that same weighty regret whenever they parted ways and that weight only grew heavier the closer they became. A part of him wanted to stay there in the clubroom even after they had finished, though he didn’t know why. He had gotten the sexual gratification he desired, what more did he want? What was it that was eluding him about the warmth of Hinata’s skin and the shining light in his eyes? What was it about the decoy that brought Kageyama to his knees and made him do things that he had never imagined he would ever do? Kageyama didn’t know and yet there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that made him wonder if there was something he was missing.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The rest of the week progressed uneventfully and they trained late into the evening on Friday. They started with a practice match amongst themselves, however as Tsukishima wasn’t there they played five-on-five with one person sitting out. Every time a point was scored and the teams rotated, a different player sat out to keep the team numbers balanced. Once they finished the warm-up game, they all broke off to practice individual skills. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s intense gaze watching him from the corner of his eye. It was as if Hinata's eyes were calling to him.</p><p>‘Toss to me, toss to me, toss to me, toss to me!’</p><p>‘Alright, alright!’ snapped Kageyama, rounding on the decoy. ‘If you miss the point, you have to buy me a curry bun.’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes lit up and he set his face.</p><p>‘And if I get five in a row, <em>you</em> have to buy <em>me</em> a curry bun!’ he said.</p><p>‘You’re on,’ said Kageyama, with a resolute nod.  </p><p>Hinata served the ball to him before breaking into a sprint. Kageyama tossed with perfect precision and Hinata whacked it at lightning speed into the top left corner of the opposing side.</p><p>‘Yes!’ trilled Hinata. ‘Nice toss, Kageyama!’</p><p>‘One down, four to go,’ said Kageyama, catching the ball that Yachi hit over to him.</p><p>Hinata managed to get three over and flubbed the fourth, hitting it too far out to the left, and he grumbled as a smirking Kageyama announced that the decoy officially owed him. Then, Takeda-sensei called out to the team from where he was pulling his shoes off at the doorway to the gym and announced that he had organised a practice match with Date Tech for the following week.</p><p>‘Nice, Take-chan!’ commended Tanaka, giving the teacher a hearty thumbs-up.</p><p>‘Right!’ said Asahi, and his face was set. This practice match was sure to be of the most importance to him out of anyone else on the team.</p><p>‘I’ll message Tsukki to let him know,’ said Yamaguchi, pulling out his phone.</p><p>‘Awesome, I can finally verse Kogane!’ grinned Hinata, the fire of competition alight in his eyes.</p><p>‘Kogane?’ inquired Sugawara.</p><p>‘Koganegawa,’ Hinata clarified. ‘He wasn’t a regular when we versed them in the prelims but he’s in a group chat on Line with some of the other volleyball first-years that we’ve played with. He’s awesome, I can’t wait to beat him!’</p><p>‘You guys have your own group chat?’ said Daichi, with his eyebrows raised.</p><p>‘There’s a group chat?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>‘It’s just me and Yamaguchi, Kogane, Goshiki —’ listed Hinata.</p><p>‘Goshiki? From Shiratorizawa?!’ said Tanaka, in surprise.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ grinned Hinata. ‘Even though all he ever does is talk about Ushiwaka.’</p><p>They packed up their things and Kageyama walked home with his hands in his pockets, lost in thought about their training session and different attacks they needed to improve before the practice match in a week’s time. His eyes looked unseeingly over the windows of all the shops he passed as he recalled the different players of Date Tech and how they had performed when they had played against Karasuno at the Preliminaries last term. He was only brought out of his musing when his eyes drifted over a familiar figure that was sitting at a table by the wall of a small pastry café. Kageyama stopped in his tracks just outside of the ring of light spilling out of the window and frowned.</p><p>‘Kuroo-san?’ he murmured, under his breath.</p><p>There was no mistaking him. Kageyama had played against the Nekoma captain enough times that he would recognise his black hair and lazy smile anywhere. What was Kuroo doing in Karasuno? They didn’t have any matches on and, as far as Kageyama knew, there were no other members of Nekoma in town; but then, the thought hit him. Tsukishima had missed training that day because a family member was apparently visiting from Tokyo. What if that had been a lie and the person visiting him was actually…</p><p>As Kageyama watched, Tsukishima himself emerged from the back of the café carrying a table number on a little metal card. Kuroo smiled as the blond boy sat down opposite him at the table and he leaned forward to say something. Tsukishima’s face was more open and relaxed than Kageyama had ever seen and he laughed lightly at whatever Kuroo had said. Things between the two had obviously progressed much further than Kageyama had realised considering Kuroo had travelled all the way from Tokyo to visit Tsukishima and Tsukishima was skipping practice to spend time with the Nekoma third-year. Kageyama told himself firmly that it was none of his business but he had had a nagging suspicion for some time now that Tsukishima knew that there was something going on between he and Hinata and it relieved him somewhat to know some secrets of Tsukishima’s. He wasn’t afraid to utilise that knowledge, if it ever came down to it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I'm going out of town tomorrow so this chapter is going up a day earlier than usual. I've been moving to a new place this week and it's been a welcome relief to work on this chapter amid the chaos, but I apologise it it's not the best because I haven't been able to give it as much time as I normally do. Next chapter, we'll get to see the guys from Date Tech which I'm really looking forward to! Thank you so very much for reading and I hope to see you again next week - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. For the Love of Volleyball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was one of the last warm days of the year and Kageyama found himself sitting outside at lunch with Hinata after the decoy had convinced him to enjoy the sun while it lasted. They sat on a short flight of steps overlooking a thoroughfare that ran from the first-year classroom buildings out towards the gyms and clubrooms. Kageyama picked through his bento, a bottle of strawberry yoghurt on the step beside him; Hinata’s <em>gakuran</em> was thrown open and his legs were stretched out on the ground before him as he took in the warm rays of midday sunshine.</p><p>‘Ah, it feels like summer again,’ Hinata sighed. ‘Do you think this match with Date Tech is gonna be our last practice match before the prelims?’</p><p>‘Dunno,’ shrugged Kageyama. ‘Could be.’</p><p>‘I bet they organised it because they want to train up Kogane and the others that are replacing the third-years. Apparently they graduated already.’</p><p>‘What position does he play?’ asked Kageyama, though he wasn’t very interested.</p><p>‘Setter,’ said Hinata, and he looked excited at the prospect.</p><p>Kageyama frowned as he recalled the last time Karasuno had played against Date Tech High.</p><p>‘Wasn’t the setter their captain?’ he said. ‘The short guy.’</p><p>‘He wasn’t short, he was taller than me!’ snapped Hinata, indignantly. ‘But, yeah, that guy <em>was</em> the setter but he was a third-year and he's left now.’</p><p>‘How do you know they have a new regular setter?’</p><p>‘I told you, we have a group chat and me and Kogane went into Sendai together once to play arcade games. He's awesome!’</p><p>As soon as the words left Hinata’s mouth, Kageyama decided that he strongly disliked this Koganegawa person. If he was good friends with Hinata that automatically meant that he was most likely just as annoying.</p><p>‘You went all the way to Sendai just to play games?’ said Kageyama, sniffing. ‘Sounds lame to me.’</p><p>‘Well, you weren’t there,’ said Hinata, waving his hand dismissively. ‘It was fun! You’ll meet him soon anyway.’</p><p>‘He probably won’t want to get along with me after I crush him.’</p><p>‘Your confidence is spooky sometimes!’</p><p>‘You don’t think we can win?’ asked Kageyama. ‘We can do it. Trust me and trust your training. We can win.’</p><p>‘Ooooooh!’ Hinata’s eyes sparkled. ‘Awesome, Kageyama!’</p><p>Things between them had gone so far back to normal that Kageyama had to remind himself occasionally that they were sleeping together. Since their session in the clubroom, they hadn’t had a moment alone due to the fact that Kageyama’s father was still around and they had been practicing late into the evening every day. The practice match with Date Tech High was coming up fast and Hinata had subsequently mentioned his friend Koganegawa almost every afternoon at training, much to Kageyama’s annoyance. He didn’t particularly care about Hinata’s social circle (which was much wider than his own) but anything that Hinata got overly excited about was generally an annoyance to him. He didn’t remember Koganegawa from when they played against Date Tech High in the June Preliminaries but as Koganegawa had been on reserve back then it wasn’t surprising to Kageyama that he had no recollection of the first-year. They hadn’t played against one another at all and Kageyama had been too focussed on the match at the time to take any real notice of Date Tech’s off-court team members.</p><p>The rest of Kageyama’s day passed by and he soon found himself in the gym practicing with the rest of his team. Ukai went through the stats of Date Tech High for the umpteenth time and they practiced getting past blocks for the entirety of the afternoon in preparation for the following day’s match; then, Ukai sent them home early to get a proper amount of rest. They cleaned up and left the gym as a group, walking leisurely towards Sakanoshita Shop for pre-game buns courtesy of the third-years.</p><p>‘I feel good about tomorrow,’ said Hinata, looking optimistically up at the cloudy sky that was shot with gold from the setting sun. ‘I’m ready to take on Date Tech.’</p><p>‘In that case we’re sure to win,’ said Kageyama, cynically.</p><p>Hinata looked up at him with puppy-dog eyes, clearly hurt at the setter’s derisive tone, but Kageyama just smirked and shouldered Hinata in the arm.</p><p>‘Hey, cut it out, Kageyama!’ protested Hinata, shoving him back.</p><p>Kageyama pushed back lightly and when they continued walking, their shoulders touched with every step.</p><p>‘Wow, Kageyama, was that sarcasm?’ drawled Tsukishima, his eyebrows raised.</p><p>‘Kageyama has learned “sarcasm”!’ said Tanaka, quoting stereotypical video game dialogue. ‘It wasn’t very effective.’ </p><p>Kageyama scowled and the others could practically feel the grouchiness radiating off him. Tanaka punched him jovially in the arm but that, unsurprisingly, did little to improve his mood.</p><p>Throughout the afternoon, the once-warm sun had been interrupted by a blanket of cloud that was gradually making its way over the entire sky. Autumn leaves rustled in the cool dusk breeze and Nishinoya clasped his hands contentedly behind his head.</p><p>‘I finished my assignment for world cultures last night so you know what I’m going to do tonight?’ he said.</p><p>‘Watch TV?’ said Asahi.</p><p>‘Do your other assignments?’ said Sugawara.</p><p>‘No!’ Nishinoya exclaimed. ‘I’m going to take a long bath and fantasise about different ways we’re gonna beat Date Tech tomorrow.’</p><p>‘Gross, Noya, too much information,’ said Tanaka, and Hinata and Yamaguchi sniggered.</p><p>‘Not in that way, pervert!’ the libero snapped, but he immediately went back to smiling. ‘And don’t forget that I’ve got your back, Asahi!’</p><p>‘What did you single me out for?’ said Asahi, suddenly looking worried.</p><p>‘No reason,’ said Nishinoya, shrugging lightly. ‘You’re walking next to me so you were the first person that came into my head.’</p><p>‘Oh, right.’</p><p>‘Nice save!’ whispered Sugawara, and he flashed Nishinoya a thumbs-up.</p><p>A bell tinkled above the door as they entered Sakanoshita Shop. Kageyama sat down at the table next to Hinata, who immediately scooped up a copy of <em>Weekly Shonen Jump</em> that was lying on top of a stack of magazines. Daichi and Sugawara went to the front desk to order curry buns for the team.</p><p>‘Oooh Kageyama, look,’ said Hinata, pointing at a page in the magazine. ‘That grumpy Kirby looks like you when you miss a jump serve.’</p><p>He yelped as Kageyama gripped the top of his hair painfully hard and Tanaka guffawed.</p><p>‘You had that coming, Hinata!’ he said, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye.</p><p>‘Quiet down or Daichi will get mad!’ urged Asahi, his eyes darting nervously to the captain and back.</p><p>‘Okay, sorry, sorry.’</p><p>The approach of Daichi and Sugawara immediately caught everyone’s attention, except for Tsukishima who was typing on his phone and was either oblivious or uncaring about his surroundings.</p><p>‘Here you go, everyone!’ said Daichi, and he handed out bags of steaming curry buns.</p><p>‘Thank you, Captain!’ said Hinata, his eyes sparkling as he opened his bag.</p><p>‘Thanks, Daichi!’ the others chorused.</p><p>‘Let’s win tomorrow!’ said Daichi, and he clenched his fist before him.</p><p>‘Right!’</p><p>They ate together and said goodnight as they all parted ways to go home.</p><p>‘See you tomorrow, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, smiling brightly as he waved.</p><p>‘See you,’ Kageyama replied, and their gaze lingered slightly longer before Hinata continued walking with the third-years.</p><p>Kageyama turned and made his way home alone. Though he enjoyed being alone, Kageyama couldn’t deny the fact that he missed being close to Hinata. Their interactions had forced him into a habit of closeness that he now felt conspicuously lacking and it felt like ages since their last intimate moment. That coupled with the fact that the decoy seemed to talk about nothing but Koganegawa made irritation bubble in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach. He knew he would feel better once they beat Date Tech and his father would leave for Seoul the following week. Then, he could again have Hinata all to himself for a time and be able to see the decoy in a way that nobody else could see and all would feel right with the world again.</p><p>‘I’m home,’ he said, as he entered his house.</p><p>‘Welcome home,’ called his father from the living room. ‘How was school?’</p><p>‘Fine.’</p><p>‘Did you win your big game?’</p><p>‘It's not until tomorrow.’ Kageyama placed his shoes to the side and walked over to see his father with his feet up watching television. ‘And it’s only a practice match.’</p><p>‘Well, I know you’re practicing hard,’ said his father, with a commending smile. ‘There's takoyaki in the kitchen if you want. What do you want for dinner? Something with lots of protein, I’m guessing?’</p><p>‘I can make omurice later on.’</p><p>‘It’s alright, I’ll cook.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded dubiously. His father wasn’t the greatest cook but the man enjoyed partaking in domestic tasks in the little time that he was able to spend at home. Kageyama was used to his father being away for weeks at a time and there as a certain sense of distance between them for which the sporadic moments they spent together could never really make up. Kageyama went up to his bedroom and prepared to do some schoolwork before the food was ready. He wanted nothing more than to play a volleyball match with real stakes to let out some of his pent-up frustration. He also had a strong desire to beat this Koganegawa person, who in his mind was half Kageyama’s height and exceptionally ugly.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Kageyama arrived early at the gym the next morning to warm up properly before the Date Tech High players would arrive. Asahi was already there and they practiced together as other players slowly started to arrive and the sun rose higher in the sky. At nine o’clock sharp, the door to the gym opened and everyone's heads turned to take in the sight of the newcomers. The Date Tech High volleyball team stood in the doorway, towering tall and shrouded in emerald and white. Kageyama didn't recall them ever having such a commanding presence. Something about them was new or something had changed; either way, they seemed more intimidating than ever. The prospect sent excitement to flood to his fingertips. They looked like a team worth beating. There were two players in particular that caught Kageyama’s eye: white-haired Aone, the middle blocker whose name and play style he distinctly remembered, standing at over 190cm tall and scowling mutely as always; and —</p><p>‘Oi, Kogane!’</p><p>Hinata had called out and was waving enthusiastically over at the newcomers. The other player that had piqued Kageyama’s interest waved back to Hinata, his face splitting into a wide grin.</p><p>‘Ooooh, Hinata, ‘sup!’ he called.</p><p><em>So, this is Hinata's friend from Date Tech</em>. Unfortunately, he looked nothing like the way Kageyama had imagined. He was muscular and exceptionally tall — the same height as Aone and, Kageyama noticed with irritation, around ten centimetres taller than Kageyama was himself. His bird-like eyes and stylised hair were stupid-looking enough to the setter that he vaguely wondered why he hadn’t noticed him before.</p><p>‘Welcome!’ said Takeda-sensei, hurrying forward to bow and greet the players and their coach. ‘Thank you for coming!’</p><p>The teams gathered around one another and exchanged greetings and thanks for the practice match. Hinata and the bird-eyed boy immediately gravitated to one another and began chatting animatedly, clearly continuing a conversation they had been sharing via text earlier. For some reason, the sight made Kageyama scowl. <em>Whatever</em>, he thought, dismissing the irritation that had flared up inside him. <em>I’ll crush him anyway</em>.</p><p>They all donned coloured practice-match jerseys with Karasuno wearing yellow and Date Tech wearing blue. When they took up their starting positions on opposite sides of the net, Kageyama’s scowl deepened. The bird-eyed boy had taken up his place as setter and direct opponent to Kageyama. He wasn’t the setter for Date Tech in the last match they played back in the beginning of summer and Kageyama had no frame of reference regarding what kind of player he was. He had only heard that Koganegawa tended to toss high but he had never seen it in action. The bird-eyed boy flashed a wink at Hinata, who grinned back and gave a thumbs-up. Kageyama’s scowl turned hellish.</p><p>‘Asahi, nice serve!’ he called.</p><p>‘Nice serve!’ said Hinata.</p><p>Asahi put the ball into play with a powerful service ace that caught the opposing team completely off guard. Sugawara whooped from the side-lines and Coach Oiwake called out encouragement to the Date Tech players. Koganegawa pouted and Hinata grinned and stuck out his tongue.</p><p>‘One more!’ yelled Kageyama, his face set.</p><p>He felt more riled up than usual. Perhaps it was because they hadn’t played against another team in a while. Perhaps it was because it was Date Tech High who were considered the best blockers in the prefecture and more than worthy opponents. Perhaps it was because he was versing players that he hadn’t played against before now. Whatever it was, it gave him unprecedented energy and a familiar clarity descended upon him as usually happened in important matches.</p><p>Asahi served and the opposing team received the ball cleanly. They switched into formation quickly and Koganegawa set a surprisingly high toss. <em>Sma-smack!</em> Aone practically punched the ball past Daichi where it whacked into the floor and bounced off to the back of the gym. Yachi turned over a plastic page on the scoreboard so that the score read 1-1. Kageyama tutted under his breath.</p><p>‘Sorry!’ said Daichi.</p><p>‘Don’t mind, don’t mind!’ said Asahi.</p><p>A Date Tech second-year, Futakuchi, slapped both Aone and Koganegawa on the back.</p><p>As expected, the Iron Wall of Date Tech was a problem that Karasuno needed to overcome. All the spikers were equally thwarted by it over and over again and frustration was rippling through them all. Kageyama noticed with satisfaction, however, that Koganegawa’s setting ability couldn’t rival his own skill. Sure, he had height and his jump was insane, but he was clearly a novice player and continued to make basic mistakes. The tension in Kageyama's heart eased. This first-year wasn’t a threat to him.</p><p>Karasuno managed to break through and win the third set by the skin of their teeth and they went on to play a few more matches of which Karasuno lost only one. Throughout their games, Kageyama noticed that Hinata and Koganegawa were constantly communicating with one another, mainly through hand signals and mouthing competitive words to rile each other up. More than once, Hinata doubled over in laughter and between every set the two converged to chat animatedly on the sidelines. Kageyama couldn’t help the darkness that broiled in his stomach at seeing the way Hinata’s face lit up whenever he was talking with the taller boy. It reminded him of the way Hinata spoke with Nekoma’s Kozume when they spent time together at the training camp at Tsukihama Beach. Kageyama recalled the advice that Kuroo had given him that time about how to keep Hinata coming back to him but he wondered darkly if the Nekoma captain ever spared a thought for Kozume anymore now that he was travelling all the way from Tokyo to Miyagi just to visit Tsukishima for days on end. <em>‘Give him something he can’t get from anyone else’</em>; well, Kageyama was already doing that. They had slept together twice and Kageyama was giving Hinata a certain type of gratification that he couldn’t get from anyone else, at least not as readily, and yet Hinata was still getting involved with other people — and taller, more muscular people at that.</p><p>They finished their final match and thanked each other for playing. Kageyama had thoroughly enjoyed playing against — and beating — a rival team, but he had other pressing worries swirling around in his head. As they all started packing up and getting ready to leave, he strode over to where Hinata was folding up the practice jerseys.</p><p>‘Walk home with me,’ said Kageyama, scowling at the decoy.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes widened slightly and he suddenly looked uncomfortable.</p><p>‘Oh, um, I’d really like to,’ he said, with a tentative grin, ‘but actually I’m going to get something to eat with Kogane.’</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>Kageyama’s scowl deepened and Hinata’s discomfort turned to outright nervousness. He was going out to eat with Koganegawa? Who did Koganegawa think he was, asking Hinata out to get food? It seemed awfully entitled to Kageyama and his icy eyes shot over to where the Date Tech setter was chatting lightly with the rest of his team, oblivious to the dark cloud of animosity radiating towards him from Kageyama’s face. </p><p>‘W-We can walk home together on Monday!’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘Or I can come over to study tomorrow?’</p><p>‘Forget it,’ snapped Kageyama, and he turned his back on Hinata.</p><p>He pulled on his jacket, said a brief goodbye to the rest of his team, and walked home alone without a backwards glance at Hinata. He didn’t want to see the way the decoy’s face would light up as he joined Koganegawa and they would walk side-by-side towards the shopping district. Maybe they would go to the romantic pastry café that Kuroo and Tsukishima had visited. Or perhaps they would go to the noodle bar near Sakanoshita that Kageyama and Hinata used to frequent in their study sessions last term. Kageyama shoved all those thoughts out of his head and committed to the prospect of not thinking about Hinata for the rest of the night. He didn’t need to. The stupid decoy wasn’t worth worrying about.</p><p>Once he got home, he chatted superficially with his father for a while before bathing and retiring to his bedroom to flick through <em>Volleyball Monthly</em> and eventually study. Some hours of idleness passed as he sat at his desk until his school work was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. He glanced at the screen and the name <em>Hinata Shouyou</em> lit up under the unread message icon. He opened the message.</p><p>
  <em>Wanna meet up before I go home? - 19.32</em>
</p><p>He frowned. Hinata wanted to meet up? Was it because something had happened with Koganegawa and Hinata wanted to tell him face-to-face? Or did he just want to rub it in even further that he’d gone out with someone that wasn’t Kageyama? Kageyama had no desire to discuss anything of that nature with Hinata. He didn’t feel like discussing anything with anyone right now. He typed out a firm “No” and hit send without a second glance. He put his phone down on the desk beside him and tried to focus on his school work. His eyes were moving over the words in the textbook but none of the information was getting absorbed into his brain. He was too distracted and his eyes kept darting to his phone and back, waiting for Hinata’s reply.</p><p>
  <em>Well I’m already at your house so  ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌   - 19.34</em>
</p><p>Kageyama read the words and his frown deepened. What did Hinata mean, he was at his house? Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell rang through the house from downstairs.</p><p>‘What the hell?!’ he hissed under his breath, and leapt to his feet.</p><p>He threw his bedroom door open and launched himself down the stairs as voices drifted up from the hallway.</p><p>‘…sorry it’s so late, I don’t mean to interrupt at all!’</p><p>‘It’s alright, I’ll go and fetch him for you! Please come in!’</p><p>Hinata was standing in the entryway taking his shoes off and smiling politely at Kageyama’s father, who was also smiling and standing aside to let Hinata enter.</p><p>‘Oh, Tobio, your classmate is here to see you,’ said Kageyama’s father, upon noticing Kageyama at the foot of the stairs.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes snapped up and locked onto Kageyama’s, who was staring at him furiously.</p><p>‘Right, thanks, Dad,’ said Kageyama, through gritted teeth.</p><p>‘Make yourself at home, Hinata-kun,’ said father said, with another welcoming smile, before retreating to the living room and leaving the boys to talk in peace.</p><p>Kageyama strode forward and towered over Hinata to shoot daggers at him with his eyes.</p><p>‘What are you doing here?!’ he hissed, through clenched teeth.</p><p>‘I wanted to talk to you!’ said Hinata, firmly despite the animosity radiating off of Kageyama. ‘Your dad seems really nice, by the way.’</p><p>‘Didn’t you get my message that I don’t want to talk to you?’</p><p>‘I did but I was already here when I sent you the first message so I figured I may as well just come in.’</p><p>Hinata grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. The thought of Hinata riding his bike through the night to Kageyama’s house without having discussed it beforehand sent a warm glow to radiate through his chest but he held onto his fury. He wouldn’t be overridden to easily.</p><p>‘Come upstairs,’ he said, shortly.</p><p>He couldn’t rage at Hinata, not in the entryway when his father was within earshot. He had to take Hinata upstairs so that he could verbally murder him in private. He could hear Hinata's footsteps on the stairs behind him as he lead the way into his bedroom. Hinata closed the bedroom door behind himself and Kageyama sat down on the chair by his desk without offering Hinata a place to sit down. He looked at the decoy with unfeigned hardness in his eyes.</p><p>‘What do you want to talk about?’ he asked, wanting to get straight to the point.</p><p>Hinata took a deep breath before looking Kageyama in the face.</p><p>‘You’re mad that I went out with Kogane, aren’t you?’ he said.</p><p>Kageyama tutted under his breath and scowled.</p><p>‘I wanted to make sure you know that he’s just a friend,’ continued Hinata, and he took his bag off and sat down at the foot of Kageyama’s bed. ‘You shouldn’t be angry about that.’</p><p>‘I’m not angry,’ said Kageyama, angrily.</p><p>‘That’s exactly what you’d say if you were angry!’ snapped Hinata, which only made Kageyama’s scowl deepen. ‘You can be as mad as you want but you don’t need to be,’ Hinata continued, and he crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest. ‘I have a lot of friends and if you’re gonna get jealous about all of them then you’re just going to make yourself feel shitty for no reason.’</p><p>‘I don’t care about your friends,’ said Kageyama, shortly.</p><p>‘It kind of seems like you do.’</p><p>‘Well, I don’t!’</p><p>‘Kageyama?’</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>Kageyama was surprised to see Hinata looking suddenly uncomfortable. His stubborn demeanour of a moment ago softened and he jiggled his knee timidly.</p><p>‘Do you — how do you feel about me?’ he asked, and he looked up at Kageyama through his lashes.</p><p>‘You’ve asked me that before,’ said Kageyama, flatly, despite the leap in his heart rate.</p><p>‘I know but you never gave me an answer!’</p><p>‘What brought that into your mind all of a sudden?’</p><p>‘Well, you seemed really jealous over me hanging out with Kogane and, I dunno, it made me think about stuff, I guess. Well?’ said Hinata, gruffly. ‘Are you gonna answer me this time?’</p><p>Kageyama sighed and leaned back in his chair. It was a question that had been posed to him months ago under quite different circumstances. They had been sitting side-by-side on a park bench near Hinata’s house after the decoy had been home from an ankle injury that Kageyama had accidentally caused. Hinata had asked then if Kageyama liked him and Kageyama had answered that he didn’t know. He had thought about it over and over again for so long that the question carried little meaning for him now; but so much had changed since then. They had been kissing for a long time and had even started having sex, which was something that Kageyama never could have predicted in his wildest dreams. Hinata was looking at him expectantly with his arms crossed and Kageyama knew that he would never hear the end of it if he didn’t at least try to give something of a thought-out answer.</p><p>‘I’m not going to confess my undying love for you, if that’s what you're looking for,’ said Kageyama, with a scowl.</p><p>‘You mean you — you don’t —?’ Hinata’s eyes were swimming as he looked at the setter.</p><p>‘I feel the same way about you that I feel about volleyball,’ said Kageyama, and the words left his mouth without any real thought.</p><p>‘What?’ Hinata cocked his head to one side, clearly confused.</p><p>Kageyama blew air out of his nose in frustration, not at Hinata exactly but more at his inability to find the words he needed in order to tell Hinata how he felt. It was like trying to speak a language he barely knew. The way he felt was right there below the surface but he just couldn’t find the right translation to get his point across fluently.</p><p>‘I’ve tried so many times to think about how to describe how I feel about you,’ he said, with difficulty. ‘You already asked me once if I like you and, well, I didn’t know at the time and I’m still not one hundred percent sure; but when I look at you and when I’m with you — well, I kind of feel the same way as I do when I play volleyball.’</p><p>Hinata still looked confused so Kageyama kept talking and fighting through the redness threatening to well in his cheeks.</p><p>‘Look, I’m passionate about volleyball,’ he explained. ‘It’s always been my favourite thing since I was young and it’s something that I want to make a career and a future out of. It’s what I do, you know? It’s the only thing that I want to spend my time doing and it’s like everything else in my life is just boring tasks that I have to do in order to play more volleyball. It’s the only thing that really makes me happy, or makes me feel strong emotions. I never thought I’d have to explain out loud how I feel about the sport but it's everything to me and — and I would die if I couldn’t play.’</p><p>As he spoke, Kageyama's shoulders became set and his expression turned into a firm scowl to show that he was committed to what he was saying, no matter how stupid it sounded. Hinata was staring at him with eyes wide and curiously blank.</p><p>‘That’s… how you feel about me?’ asked Hinata, after a pause.</p><p>‘Well, something like that,’ mumbled Kageyama. ‘Maybe not the career part but the other parts.’</p><p>‘Kageyama, that’s love,’ said Hinata, blankly.</p><p>The word seem to hang in the room between them. There was a moment of silence in which they stared at one another and the impact of what Hinata said dissipated like an echo.</p><p>‘That's not what I said!’ said Kageyama immediately, but then he hesitated. ‘But, I guess I do love volleyball.’</p><p>He frowned, trying to make sense of the mess of emotions in his head. Love? It couldn’t be. He didn’t love anyone. It was a distracting and annoying state of emotion that always seemed like the one thing other than a physical injury that would threaten his conviction to devote himself to volleyball. But, he saw Hinata sitting at the foot of his bed and the pressing feeling in his chest told him that maybe “love” wasn’t a terrible description of how he felt.</p><p>‘Well?’ he pressed Hinata, gruffly. ‘What do you think about that?’</p><p>‘Oh, I love volleyball too!’ said Hinata, with the biggest, shiniest grin that put the summer sun to shame. ‘I love volleyball more than anything!’</p><p>Kageyama couldn’t help the crooked smirk that broke through his scowl.</p><p>‘Good to know we’re on the same page,’ he said.</p><p>‘Of course we are! Our synchronisation is what makes volleyball so much fun, don’t you think?’</p><p>‘Yeah, I do. And Hinata,’ said Kageyama, and the tone of his voice made the decoy look at him curiously. ‘Forget about the Kogane thing. I don’t care if you wanna hang out with your friends. For real.’</p><p>‘You don’t have anything to feel jealous about,’ said Hinata. ‘You know that, right?’</p><p>‘I’m not jealous!’ muttered Kageyama, petulantly, which only made Hinata smirk.</p><p>The way Hinata was looking at him with such a knowing look in his eye made Kageyama fidget with annoyance and he kicked himself inwardly for not being more in control of his emotions.</p><p>‘It’s getting late,’ he noted, through the colour in his cheeks. ‘We should practice more tomorrow, I’m really close to nailing that precision toss. I bet you could hit it nine times out of ten. Well, maybe seven times out of ten. Eh? What are you doing?’</p><p>His thought process came to an abrupt halt as Hinata wordlessly got up and moved closer to him. He stopped when they were mere inches apart, Kageyama looking up at him from where he was sat in his desk chair, and Hinata stared at Kageyama with eyes that were suddenly wide, all traces of humour gone. Kageyama frowned as he tried to puzzle out the change that seemed to have come over the decoy. There was that usual innocent curiosity that Hinata often had when looking at him and yet there was something else written in that gaze that Kageyama couldn’t quite understand. It seemed as if Hinata wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to go about it.</p><p>‘What’s the matter?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>Their faces were so near to one another that Kageyama wondered if Hinata was going to kiss him. The intensity in Hinata’s eyes softened somewhat and he rested his hand on Kageyama’s thigh. Kageyama felt his breath catch in his chest and he looked from Hinata’s hand back to the decoy’s face. Without a word, Hinata knelt down on the floor between Kageyama’s legs. Kageyama watched, heart pounding in his ears, as Hinata hooked his fingers under the elastic of Kageyama’s grey trackpants and pulled them down along with his briefs, exposing the setter completely.</p><p>‘W-What -?’ stammered Kageyama, but Hinata didn’t answer.</p><p>He took hold of Kageyama’s cock in his hand and his steady gaze didn’t leave Kageyama’s face as he lowered his head and licked up the length of Kageyama’s shaft. Kageyama watched in utter disbelief as Hinata took his cock into his mouth. The wet warmth of it, the light sucking motion and Hinata’s breath washing over his skin caused explosive desire to make war with the disbelief in Kageyama’s mind. But it wasn’t just the physical feeling fanning the fire of lust in his mind, it was the fact that it was Hinata - sweet, naïve Hinata - social butterfly, friend to all, who had knelt on the floor without a word and was now trying valiantly to fit Kageyama’s rapidly hardening cock into his mouth. Kageyama leaned back in his chair and gently pushed locks of Hinata’s hair off his forehead, and he held his hand there, moving back and forth as the decoy moved his head.</p><p>‘Hinata…’ breathed Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata closed his eyes, tears of exertion smarting in their corners, as he moved his hand up and down while sucking lovingly on the head of Kageyama’s cock. <em>You were right</em>, thought Kageyama, vacantly.<em> “Love” is definitely the right word to describe how I feel about you</em>. Kageyama could hear the sounds of the television downstairs and knew that his father was too near and yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hinata’s face. His cock was already rock hard under Hinata’s touch and he could feel the heat throbbing in his abdomen with every draw of Hinata’s lips. His cock hit the back of Hinata's throat and the decoy withdrew, panting slightly, his lips pink and glistening, to catch his breath though he didn’t break the stroking motion of his hand. Kageyama felt his heart swell with affection fuelled by desire for the boy kneeling before him and he moved his hand from the top of Hinata's head to his cheek.</p><p>‘Kiss me,’ murmured Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata stretched up as Kageyama leaned down and kissed him deeply, tasting the heat on Hinata's lips from his efforts. Kageyama kissed him lovingly, gratefully, parting his lips and pushing his tongue into the decoy’s mouth. Hinata broke away and lowered his head down again. Kageyama couldn’t help the guttural moan that issued from his throat as Hinata’s lips slid down his shaft and he leaned back into the chair again. Hinata worked at him, swirling his tongue around the head of Kageyama’s cock before moving his head in earnest, picking up the pace until Kageyama could feel his pulse throbbing in his veins as his pleasure mounted.</p><p>‘You have to stop that,’ he said, his voice husky.</p><p>Hinata didn’t reply, but he didn’t stop either. Kageyama didn’t know what the decoy was planning to do but he was too far gone to think about it and could only trust that Hinata knew what he was doing. Hinata’s brow furrowed as he moved his head faster and Kageyama’s breath came in soft panting moans. It was too much. He could feel the head of his cock throbbing as it repeatedly hit the back of Hinata’s throat and he knew the peak of his pleasure was about to break. He couldn’t help thrusting up ever so slightly into Hinata’s mouth as the dam within him shattered and liquid ecstasy pumped into the back of Hinata’s throat. Hinata’s fingers gripped Kageyama’s thigh and his eyes squeezed shut as he took it all and he sucked the residue carefully from Kageyama’s cock before swallowing deeply. Then, he leaned back on his heels and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, panting slightly. Kageyama stared through the post-orgasm haze of desire and disbelief at Hinata, who smiled and got to his feet.</p><p>‘Believe me now?’ he asked. ‘You don’t have anything to be jealous about.’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t yet trust his ability to speak coherently and so merely nodded as he pulled up his trousers, which caused Hinata to grin all the brighter. He picked up his bag from the floor at the foot of Kageyama’s bed and slung it over his shoulder.</p><p>‘I guess I’ll head home, then,’ he said, brightly. ‘Thanks for talking about this with me!’</p><p>Kageyama knew that Hinata couldn’t leave without him saying something, but what could he say? There were no words to express the jumble of thoughts tumbling over one another in his head. Instead, he let his body do the talking for him. He got up, strode forward, took Hinata's face in both of his long-fingered hands, and kissed him deeply. There was no drive behind the act, no desperation or fervour; only tenderness, and Kageyama felt Hinata's lips melt under his. They stood there for a while unmoving as their hearts beat in synch before Kageyama let the decoy go. Hinata’s smile was a beam of sunlight shining in Kageyama’s room and Hinata squeezed his hand before turning and opening the bedroom door. Kageyama followed him down the stairs and watched from the doorway as he put his shoes and jacket on.</p><p>‘It’s late,’ he noted, as Hinata zipped up his jacket. ‘You’re seriously going to ride home?’</p><p>‘Well, I kind of have to,’ said Hinata, with a shrug. ‘But it’s okay, I’m used to it.’</p><p>Kageyama couldn’t help feeling mildly impressed. He almost made to lean down and kiss Hinata goodbye but the sounds of the television drifted in from the living room and he thought it best not to risk getting caught.</p><p>‘Um, my dad’s going to Seoul next week,’ he said, lowly. ‘Come over after school?’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes widened and he smirked sneakily.</p><p>‘Sure,’ he said, and his eyes darted to the living room behind Kageyama’s shoulder and back to the setter’s face. ‘See you then!’</p><p>He reached out and took Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama squeezed his fingers slightly, not taking his eyes off Hinata’s face, and felt a weight in his chest as Hinata let go and opened the door. The decoy gave a smile and wave before closing the door behind himself.</p><p>‘That was a nice friend of yours to visit you so late,’ said Kageyama’s father, as Kageyama walked past the living room towards the stairs.</p><p>‘I wouldn’t exactly call him a friend,’ Kageyama replied.</p><p>His father couldn’t know what the words meant but Kageyama’s heart swelled. <em>No</em>, he thought privately to himself. <em>He’s so much more than just a friend</em>. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Kageyama is slowly starting to make sense of his feelings for Hinata (finally) and writing it out made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To be honest with you, I never really saw Hinata or Kageyama as we know them saying the words "I love you" or "I like you" to one another, and whenever I read works in which they do say those things it always kind of broke my immersion a little bit. This chapter was my version of the "I love you" moment presented in a way that aligns with my understanding of the two characters. I'm looking forward to next week when Kageyama's father goes out of town and the boys finally get some time to themselves again... See you then! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Closeness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, so this chapter is a little... indulgent *cough* and I was very on the fence about uploading it unedited as it is because it gets a little graphic but hey, isn't that why we're all here? I promise there will be plot next week but for now, enjoy the porn lol - Ren.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The end of September came around and brought with it cold nights and frequent rain. To Karasuno volleyball team, the imminence of October meant only one thing: the Interhigh Preliminaries were fast approaching and it was the last chance for the third-years to have a shot at Nationals. They trained longer and harder than ever before and there was a certain desperate drive pushing each of them that hadn’t been there previously. Kageyama found himself lost in thoughts of strategies and hand-signals throughout the day so often that he was frequently called out in class for not paying attention. Hinata, too, was struggling from nerves and seemed more wired than usual which Kageyama previously hadn’t thought possible for the decoy. One thing that Kageyama had noticed was that since his and Hinata’s conversation at his house after the practice match with Date Tech, something in Hinata seemed to have changed. He was close with Kageyama — closer than he had ever been. He often sought the setter out at lunch to chat with no particular reason, he would touch Kageyama frequently on the shoulder or arm with no real purpose, and whenever they talked in a group Hinata always held his gaze and seemed to be speaking just to him. It confused Kageyama and made him wonder at the change but a part of him couldn’t deny enjoying it. It was almost as if the edges between Hinata the Teammate, Hinata the Person and Hinata the Partner were starting to blur together to the point that Kageyama frequently struggled to tell them apart.</p><p>‘It’s the end of September so you know what that means?’ said Coach Ukai, as he walked among where the team members were practicing receives in the gym. ‘The Interhigh Preliminaries are just two weeks away. In two weeks, we’ll be going up against strong teams to get through to Nationals. We’ll be going up against Shiratorizawa. Let that be the only thing you think about, the reason you get up in the morning and the reason you go to bed at night: to win against them all and go to Nationals. I know we can do it.’</p><p>‘Right!’ the team chorused.</p><p>They finished up for the evening and Hinata called out that he would mop the floor. Seeing his opportunity, Kageyama followed Hinata to the equipment room.</p><p>‘Oi, Hinata.’</p><p>Hinata looked around from where he was stood in the gloom of the equipment room, bending over a bucket of cleaning supplies.</p><p>‘Oh, what’s up, Kageyama?’</p><p>Kageyama shot a glance behind him to make sure he was alone before turning back to the decoy.</p><p>‘My dad left town last night,’ he said, and he felt the implication in his words.</p><p>Hinata straightened up with a mop in his hand.</p><p>‘Do you want to come over after training?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>Kageyama could see the sneaky expression on Hinata’s face through the darkness and it equally irritated and excited him. He bit back the snarky comments threatening to escape his lips and waited for Hinata’s response.</p><p>‘Sure!’ said Hinata, brightly, and there was a suggestive note in his voice. ‘Help me mop. The faster we do it, the faster we can leave.’</p><p>Kageyama smirked and took the mop that Hinata held out to him. Their evening plan glowed with anticipation in his chest as he raced Hinata up and down the court.</p><p>‘You can’t beat me!’ Hinata called over his shoulder, and Kageyama noticed the flirtatious glint in his eye that spurred him on. <br/>The third-years looked on at Hinata and Kageyama’s mopping progress as the others departed for the night.</p><p>‘Those guys have unlimited energy,’ said Sugawara, rubbing the back of his neck in exasperation.</p><p>‘At least they have enough energy to make up for what we don’t have,’ sighed Daichi. ‘Come on, we have to study for the mathematics quiz tomorrow.’</p><p>Kageyama and Hinata walked home together to Kageyama’s house. There was no doubt in either of their minds what they would do there. Kageyama felt a curious clarity descend upon him and the thought of having sex in his own bed sent a thrill of arousal up through his body. They had done it in Hinata’s bed and in the clubroom but for some reason he was particularly stirred at the prospect of doing it in his house. He knew that, even afterwards, he would be reminded of it every time he went to bed at night and every time he woke up in the morning. Every time he changed his sheets he would be reminded of what had come to pass in that bed. He wondered if Hinata thought about their first time whenever he went to sleep, or if he was reminded of that night when he lay his head against his pillow.</p><p>‘Where did your dad go again?’ asked Hinata, as they rounded the corner into Kageyama’s street.</p><p>‘Seoul,’ Kageyama replied. ‘He won’t come back until after the prelims are over.’</p><p>‘Oh, that’s really far! Does he go abroad a lot?’</p><p>‘Not so much. He mainly travels in Japan but he goes abroad a couple of times a year for a few weeks at a time.’</p><p>‘Do you miss him?’</p><p>‘No.’</p><p>‘Really? I miss my dad so much when he’s away!’ Hinata groaned. ‘It’s the worst when he’s gone, mainly because my little sister gets so clingy and doesn’t leave me alone.’</p><p>‘You learn to live with it,’ shrugged Kageyama.</p><p>‘Yeah, I guess you do.’</p><p>Kageyama unlocked his front door and they stepped inside. They mutually agreed to wash after training and they shared some leftover karaage at the kitchen bench while Hinata told a story about a time he cheered up his sister when she had been missing their father. Hinata waved his arms about as he told the story, his face shifting and alighting with enthusiasm as he recounted her expressions and his reactions, and Kageyama found himself getting lost in the way Hinata’s eyes held his with such intense purity. The way that Hinata looked at him and talked to him had changed. There was something different in his eyes when he held Kageyama’s gaze that wasn't there when he looked at anybody else. It was as if Hinata was looking at him in a new light and the thought made something soften in the core of Kageyama’s chest.</p><p>‘Oi, what are you looking at me like that for?’ said Hinata, with a frown. ‘Were you even listening to what I was saying?’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah, I was, sorry,’ said Kageyama, quickly.</p><p>‘What was the last thing I said?’</p><p>‘I was paying attention!’</p><p>‘What did I say? Repeat it to me!’ demanded Hinata.</p><p>‘Uhhh…’</p><p>Hinata berated Kageyama all the way up the stairs to the setter’s bedroom but as soon as the door clicked closed behind him, the air in the room suddenly shifted. The reality of why they were here descended upon them like a blanket and a scarlet tinge appeared in Hinata’s cheeks. Kageyama didn’t have the will to hesitate. He knew why he had invited Hinata here. He knew what he wanted. He took Hinata by the hand and led him to sit on the bed beside him. Perhaps the fact that they were in his own bedroom gave Kageyama assurance in his actions that he hadn’t had to the same degree before. Upon approaching Hinata, there was a certain conviction that had been lacking in their previous encounters that spurred him on with confidence. When they had been at Hinata’s house, Kageyama had been a guest and felt as such despite his decision to take the lead in the situation they had found themselves in; in the clubroom, their encounter had been largely spontaneous and they had both been somewhat out of their comfort zone. Now, however, Kageyama was in his own bedroom in his own house and the fact lent him assuredness that he had felt lacking before.</p><p>He kissed Hinata on the lips, once, twice, three times, before parting his lips and kissing the decoy fully. Warmth spread to Kageyama’s fingertips and he gave himself over to the decoy, little by little, as his thoughts started to get taken over by the boy sitting before him. Kageyama could feel his heartbeat pulsing in his veins and his breath catch in his chest as Hinata’s lips moved against his. They were so soft, so supple and so perfectly matched to Kageyama’s own that he could feel his self-restraint gradually slipping. Kageyama pushed him back onto the bed until he was leaning over Hinata, eyes lost in his fringe, and his brain became dominated by the feel of Hinata’s body under him. Hinata’s fingers locked into his and Kageyama pressed their hands back into the mattress. He loved to feel the shape of Hinata’s body underneath his and the fragrance of his own clean sheets mingling with the notes of tatami and cotton that clung to Hinata’s skin and the strands of his flaming hair. He had grown so used to that fragrance that it instantly instilled him with a calming effect. This was a person that he knew, a person that was familiar by now and predictable. This was a person with whom he had nothing to fear.</p><p>Hinata’s knees rested against either side of Kageyama’s waist and his other hand gripped Kageyama’s arm, feeling the flex and shift of the muscle as he moved.</p><p>‘I could never get tired of kissing you,’ murmured Kageyama, between kisses.</p><p>Hinata grinned through the blush in his cheeks and Kageyama shook his head in disbelief. How could he have ended up in this situation? His own luck continued to surprise him. He parted his lips and slipped his tongue into Hinata’s mouth, tasting the sweet timidity in the way Hinata moved his own tongue against the setter’s. Soft fingertips whispered down Kageyama’s cheek and his heart swelled until he thought it might burst. He ran his hands down Hinata’s chest until he felt nipples rigid and hard under his t-shirt. He rubbed his thumbs slowly over Hinata’s chest as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip and the intake of breath told him that Hinata was feeling something. Encouraged, he pushed the decoy’s shirt up slowly under his armpits and feasted his eyes on the expanse of pale skin before him.</p><p>‘Wh-what are you doing?’ asked Hinata, looking up at Kageyama through hazy eyes.</p><p>Kageyama didn’t answer. He just smirked and ducked his head down again to kiss Hinata full on the mouth before moving his lips to the side of his neck. He kissed slowly down the side of Hinata’s throat, leaving a burning trail from the bottom of his ear to his collar, and he kept going down the contours of his chest until he found one of Hinata’s nipples. Rubbing the other with his thumb, he swirled his tongue around the peak, tasting the rigid heat that collected there, and felt shaky fingers knot into his hair. Hinata seemed to enjoy the sensation and Kageyama was spurred on. He bit searing kisses into the skin of Hinata’s chest before flicking his tongue back and forth over his nipple. Then he moved to the other to repeat the motion. Hinata squirmed slightly and his fingers squeezed tighter around Kageyama’s arm while Kageyama worked at his chest as if he was eating a half-melted ice-cream. Kageyama’s erection throbbed in his briefs at the way Hinata’s whole body shifted and arched at the sensations washing through him. He revelled in the fact that only he could ever make Hinata feel this way. Little by little, his lips continued down Hinata’s chest, over every ripple in his ribcage, to his stomach and the trail of soft curling hairs leading down from his navel under his shorts. A shaky hand took hold of his shoulder as he slowly lowered Hinata's shorts and briefs, kissing all the while the new parts of his body that were revealed. Kageyama dropped the shorts and briefs onto the floor and he feasted his eyes on Hinata’s exposure.</p><p>‘D-Don’t look at me like that, Kageyama!’ Hinata protested, tugging at the setter’s wrist.</p><p>‘Why not?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘It’s embarrassing!’</p><p>Hinata pushed his shirt down in an attempt to cover himself despite the fact that below the waist he was clad in only socks.</p><p>‘It's not like I haven’t seen you like this before, dumbass,’ said Kageyama, with a scowl.</p><p>‘It’s still creepy when you’re wearing all your clothes and I’m just here naked,’ said Hinata, reproachfully.</p><p>Kageyama sighed, pulled his t-shirt off over his head and dropped it on the floor. He felt no shame in being shirtless in front of Hinata and he glared at the decoy challengingly.</p><p>‘Is that better?’ he asked.  </p><p>‘Taking your shirt off doesn’t count,’ grumbled Hinata. ‘I see you without a shirt every day at practice, it’s not weird.’</p><p>‘Shut up,’ said Kageyama, and he leaned over Hinata again. ‘I’ll make it so you forget about feeling self-conscious. Turn around.’</p><p>‘Eh?’</p><p>‘Turn around. What, you don’t trust me?’</p><p>Hinata eyed him suspiciously for a moment before doing as he was told and turning to lie on his front. Kageyama sat back on his heels and inhaled deeply as he beheld the sight before him: Hinata's orange hair, sticking up at the back from where his head had been resting on the pillow before; the sweeping curve of his lower back that descended into his naked backside, which shone palely in the lamplight dusted by curling blond hairs, and the muscular contours of his thighs. Kageyama reached out as if he was about to lift some precious jewel, and with care he pushed the bottom of Hinata’s shirt high up his back, revealing the shifting shapes of his shoulder blades as he lay propped up on his elbows. Slowly, Kageyama whispered his fingertips down the contour of Hinata’s spine, over the sweet dimples of his lower back, and he smoothed his hands in earnest over Hinata's backside. As he did so, he spread Hinata open and beheld the decoy’s entrance, puckering slightly in either nervousness or impatience, or a little of both. A greedy hunger flooded Kageyama’s veins and he rubbed the side of his thumb slowly over the entrance, wondering vaguely how something so small could engulf the girth of his rigid cock which now quivered at the prospect that was his for the taking if he so desired.</p><p>‘What are you doing, Kageyama?’ groaned Hinata, pressing his forehead into the pillow which he was clutching tightly.</p><p>‘Just enjoying the view,’ replied Kageyama, with a hungry smirk.</p><p>‘I thought you said you’d stop me feeling self-conscious…’</p><p>Kageyama grabbed his tube of lubricant from where he had hidden it in his nightstand, squeezed some up his fingers and spread Hinata open to swirl his slicked-up fingertip over his entrance. He swirled ever-tightening spirals agonisingly slowly nearer and nearer to the centre, watching the gradual tightening of Hinata as he awaited the moment of contact, until Kageyama deigned to push his finger through the tight ring of muscle which caused Hinata to exhale in a breathy moan. Constricting heat gripped Kageyama’s finger and he withdrew, applied more lubricant, and slid in again, inch by inch, until he was enveloped to the knuckle. The slippery, shifting heat made his own cock ache with longing but he forced himself to wait. He wanted to draw every drip of pleasure from Hinata’s body now that he had the time to indulge himself. He wanted to see every movement, every tightening muscle, every droplet of lube, sweat, precome, saliva; he needed to see it all. Hinata’s fingers were gripping the pillow in front of him and, perhaps subconsciously, he spread his knees and lifted his hips to expose himself further to Kageyama’s caresses. It was as if his sense of touch was heightened to somewhere just below the point of pain while Kageyama toyed with every inch of his exposure. Kageyama slowly withdrew his finger, circled around the entrance a few times, and pushed in again. As he did so, he couldn’t fight the desire to lick a burning trail up from the base of Hinata’s testicles to his entrance which was filled with Kageyama’s forefinger. The lingering floral aroma of soap mingled with the sweetness of Hinata’s freshly-washed skin flooded Kageyama’s mind like a fog and a glaze crept into his eyes as he felt the pattern of Hinata’s puckered entrance under his tongue. Hinata’s groan was muffled slightly by the pillow under his mouth and lust throbbed in the pit of Kageyama’s stomach.</p><p>‘Do you like that?’ he murmured, and his breath whispered over Hinata’s backside.</p><p>‘You’re killing me!’</p><p>Kageyama smirked darkly and withdrew his finger. He licked at Hinata’s entrance in earnest, running the tip of his tongue in slow lines up and down over the hole as he gently fondled Hinata's testicles.</p><p>‘Not killing,’ he corrected, lowly. ‘Just playing.’</p><p>Hinata pushed back against Kageyama’s mouth, clearly desperate for more than the leisurely whispers of contact that Kageyama was allowing him, so Kageyama glided his tongue in roiling caresses up Hinata’s taint and entrance. A mixture of saliva and lube rolled down between Hinata’s thighs and, after a moment, Kageyama pushed his middle- and forefingers through the tight ring of muscle again, leaning back on his heels to observe the sight in its grateful exposure. Hinata’s entrance seemed to draw in his fingers eagerly and a panting groan issued from Hinata’s throat at the sensation. The beads of precome that had been gathering at the head of his cock spilled over to drip in sticky threads to the sheet between his knees. The sight of Hinata’s desire, his throbbing cock, his shining backside, and his heaving breaths stirred the pool of lust that was deep inside Kageyama’s chest, and he feasted his eyes upon the way Hinata's entrance gripped around his fingers as he withdrew them, only to push them in again as far as their length would allow. He spread his fingers apart, widening Hinata in preparation for the girth that was to come, and the hole stretched enough for him to work in a third finger.</p><p>‘K-Kageyama,’ rasped Hinata. ‘I’m at my limit.’</p><p>‘Do you want me to stop?’ asked Kageyama, though he knew the answer already.</p><p>‘I just want you to put it in me,’ said Hinata, and he looked over his shoulder at Kageyama’s face.</p><p>His tousled orange hair was sticking out a every angle, his eyes were shining under brows upturned, and a lovely scarlet had bloomed atop his cheekbones. Kageyama also noticed that Hinata's bottom lip was red as if he had been biting it. Kageyama sighed in feigned exasperation at Hinata’s request and he withdrew his fingers.</p><p>‘If you say so,’ he said.</p><p>His tone was light as if he was merely giving in to Hinata’s request, however the throbbing ache in his cock betrayed the extent of his own desperate desire. He pulled his trackpants and briefs down below his hips and Hinata pressed his forehead down into the pillow again as he awaited what was to come. The front of Kageyama’s briefs were swimming but he couldn’t even begin to care. Hinata’s glistening entrance was relaxed and expectant before him; all he had to do was act. He allowed the tip of his cock to touch Hinata’s backside as if it was unintentional and Hinata’s shoulders visibly tensed. Kageyama smirked. He guided the head of his cock in a line down Hinata’s backside, pressing against his entrance slightly before continuing down and then up again. He thoroughly enjoying the suppleness of Hinata’s skin as he pressed himself against it. As he did so, he reached for the box of condoms on the bed beside him, but Hinata suddenly looked around over his shoulder again.</p><p>‘I - I was thinking,’ he said, ‘what if you d-don’t use a condom this time?’</p><p>Kageyama frowned at the suggestion and his hand stilled.</p><p>‘Huh?’ he said.</p><p>‘I mean, it’s okay, right?’ said Hinata, and his eyes met Kageyama’s.</p><p>Kageyama understood the implication of Hinata's question and he scowled.</p><p>‘I haven’t done anything like this with anyone else, if that’s what you’re asking,’ he said, flatly. ‘I just thought it was easier to clean up if I used a condom.’</p><p>‘It is easier to clean up,’ conceded Hinata, ‘but… we can try without a condom, too, if you want.’</p><p>Blush burned in Hinata’s cheeks but he held Kageyama’s gaze resolutely and Kageyama was assured that the decoy was committed to his suggestion. Excitement and desire thrilled down Kageyama’s spine and he could feel the hunger bleed into his eyes at the prospect of what was being offered to him. Skin-to-skin, nothing between their points of contact, nothing but heat and lubricant and bodily fluids. Where Kageyama had been feeding Hinata’s desire for the past while, now Hinata was causing Kageyama’s appetite to burn with an edge of greed. He dropped the box of condoms and returned his gaze to feast upon the vision of utter eroticism that was kneeling on its elbows and knees before him. He pressed his hand flat against Hinata's back between his shoulder blades and pushed him further down onto the bed. Hinata, sensing what Kageyama wanted, spread his knees further apart and lay down on his front, bunching the pillow under his face again as he did so. Kageyama squeezed more lubricant over himself and massaged it into the precome that was spilling from his cock, the head of which was burning scarlet as a reflection of his hunger for the boy before him. He guided himself into place and pressed his cock against Hinata’s entrance. Little by little, he pushed through and into the constricting heat within, and watched lube and saliva ooze out as Hinata was filled up entirely by Kageyama’s girth. Kageyama exhaled long as he pushed inside, revelling in the slippery heat that enveloped him, and a drawn out moan issued from the back of Hinata's throat. His hole was stretched wide, wider than Kageyama’s fingers could ever open on their own, and Kageyama was careful to go slowly despite the thundering in his chest. He drew himself out, inch by inch, before sliding in again as deep as his length would allow. The feel of Hinata squeezing tight around him caused Kageyama’s eyes to roll back into his head and he smoothed his hand up Hinata’s backside, holding onto his hip to keep himself grounded in reality. The feeling itself was utterly intoxicating and forced any semblance of reason and sensibility from Kageyama’s mind. The only thing he knew in that moment was the burning squeeze, the slippery shifting under his hands and the panting of Hinata’s breath.</p><p>‘You alright?’ he asked.</p><p>Hinata merely nodded and Kageyama quickened his pace slightly, driving into the decoy beneath him. The muscles of Hinata’s upper back and shoulder blades rippled and flexed as he shifted to grip the pillow underneath him and Kageyama’s desire heightened. He slid in once more before drawing himself out entirely and pushing Hinata’s hips lightly to the side.</p><p>‘Wh-what is it?’ stammered Hinata, responding to Kageyama’s touch and turning around.</p><p>‘I want to see your face,’ said Kageyama, lowly.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes were shining and they were oddly glazed over as if his own hold on reality was slipping. His hair was a mess and his cheeks were burning. He lay back against the pillow and Kageyama leaned over him, sliding his arms under Hinata’s knees to push the decoy’s legs back and increase the extent of his exposure. Hinata immediately wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and drew him into a feverish kiss. Kageyama kissed him back, licking his tongue into Hinata’s mouth and tasting the heady longing there, as he guided his cock inside of Hinata again. Hinata moaned into his mouth and the sound of it caused a brightness to burn in the depths of Kageyama’s stomach. Their breath mingled as Kageyama moved against him, drawing out and driving in again, until Kageyama didn’t have the mental fortitude to kiss him anymore and pressed his face into Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata held onto him tightly as if he was afraid he would lose control of himself if he let go and Kageyama thrust into him at an agonising pace. His mind was utterly overcome by the grip of the arms around his neck, the brush of Hinata’s flaming hair against his temple, the beads of sweat gathering on his chest, and the clenching heat around his cock. Every thrust brightened the fire in his heart and the fragrance of Hinata’s hair coupled with the feeling of the decoy’s knees hooked over his elbows made Kageyama’s head grow fogged with a cloud of all-encompassing ecstasy.</p><p>He pressed his lips against the side of Hinata’s neck, biting none too gently against the skin under his earlobe, and Hinata gasped as Kageyama drove into him. The sound of his voice, to which Kageyama had become so accustomed after months of playing together every day, lilted by erotic moaning and rasping pants sent a spike of pleasure through his body. Kageyama loved the fact that he could make Hinata sound that way and the fact that no one else had ever heard his voice sound so utterly lewd. It filled him with conviction and fuelled his drive to reward Hinata for responding to the setter’s actions in such a gratifying way.</p><p>With a desire to see Hinata’s face, Kageyama sat up and beheld the decoy lying before him. He was leaning slightly up against the pillow and gripped it beside his head with his fist now that Kageyama was out of reach, and his t-shirt had been pushed up over his chest, exposing nipples that glistened pink and rigid in response to his heightened sense of touch. His eyes, which had been squeezed shut, now peered out through a haze of carnal longing at where Kageyama knelt between his legs. His flaming hair bounced over his forehead as Kageyama thrust into him and, after a moment, he draped his other arm over his brow seemingly in a gesture of disbelief. Kageyama smirked and smoothed his hands up in the insides of Hinata’s thighs as he watched a thread of precome stretch between the head of Hinata’s quivering cock and the little sticky pool that had gathered there below his navel. Wave upon wave of pleasure washed over him at the sound of Hinata’s panting moans and Kageyama knew that the crest inside him was soon to break.</p><p>‘Y-You’re hitting that spot inside me,’ groaned Hinata. ‘I can’t - take much more -’</p><p>Kageyama bit his lower lip and drank in the sight of Hinata’s body, glistening, shifting and flexing under his touch as the reach of his pleasure stretched taut. He lifted his hand from where it had been pressed into the mattress and slipped his middle- and forefingers into Hinata’s mouth. Hinata's eyes met his with surprise but the surprise quickly melted into lust as he sucked gratefully against Kageyama’s fingers. Kageyama’s eyes were alight like those of a tiger stalking an unwitting fawn as he took in the sight of Hinata’s mouth spread open around his long fingers, and the desire to bend Hinata to his own erotic designs ran hot through him. He couldn’t suppress the hungry smirk that alighted in his face as he thought about what their teammates would think if they saw their dear decoy now. He withdrew his fingers and took hold of Hinata’s burning cock which he deigned to stroke, aided by the residue of Hinata's saliva, and though the touch was light Hinata moaned aloud and tears smarted in the corners of his eyes. Kageyama pushed Hinata’s knee further back with his other hand and drove into him as deep as Hinata’s clenching hole could take him while he stroked Hinata’s cock at a leisurely pace despite the fire burning in Kageyama’s eyes. It took all his willpower to keep his hand agonisingly slow but Hinata’s hair bounced into his eyes along with the rapid pace of Kageyama’s pounding hips.</p><p>‘W-Wait,’ panted Hinata. ‘Wait.’</p><p>He took hold of Kageyama’s wrist to still his movements and Kageyama forced his hips to stop moving despite the fact that he wanted nothing more in that moment than to tease Hinata to the agonising climax that was looming so near.</p><p>‘What's the matter?’ breathed Kageyama.</p><p>‘You don’t think I’m gonna let you do all the work, do you?’ said Hinata, and a teasing light glinted in his eye.</p><p>Kageyama’s heart leapt and wonder mixed with desperate curiosity alighted in his chest at what Hinata was planning on doing. Hinata made to get up and Kageyama drew himself out of the decoy, feeling excitement throb in the head of his cock as Hinata turned and pushed Kageyama none-too-gently back onto the bed where he himself had just been lying. Kageyama allowed himself to be directed so and watched in mounting eagerness as Hinata straddled his hips and took hold of his cock. The decoy spread himself open, guided Kageyama’s cock into position and lowered himself slowly down, exhaling long as Kageyama’s girth filled him up. Kageyama’s eyes rolled back into his head as the constricting heat squeezed tight around him again and his fingers dug into Hinata’s hips in a desperate attempt to keep a hold on reality. He looked up through his lashes at where Hinata was seated atop him and felt overcome with wild desire — but it was Hinata’s turn. He understood that. The muscles in Hinata’s legs were taut, the contours of his thighs sticking out prominently as he supported himself. His eyebrows were upturned with a mixture of pleasure and pain as he adjusted to the sensation.</p><p>‘You can’t just sit there, you know,’ said Kageyama, trying to summon a teasing tone despite the intense arousal he was feeling. ‘Otherwise I’ll flip you over.’</p><p>‘You will not,’ said Hinata, and his eyes suddenly flashed.</p><p>He pressed his palms against Kageyama’s chest and lifted himself up before driving down again, engulfing Kageyama physically and mentally in an all-consuming pleasure. A guttural groan slipped out of Kageyama’s mouth before he could stop it. The sound seemed to encourage Hinata and he started riding Kageyama in earnest, raising and lowering himself over the setter and flooding Kageyama’s brain with bursting stars. Kageyama thoroughly enjoyed dominating Hinata, and teasing him to climax never failed to satisfy the setter, however watching Hinata take control above him was erotic on a whole other level. After a moment of letting Hinata do the work, Kageyama couldn’t stop himself from thrusting up to meet Hinata’s movements, holding the decoy’s hips tightly in his hands as he drove up into him. Hinata’s temples glistened with sweat and he leaned forward to grasp at the shelf above Kageyama’s bed for purchase. He was panting faster with every thrust and the head of his cock was scarlet and shining with precome.</p><p>Kageyama could feel himself getting closer as wave upon wave built up inside him and threatened to break. He ran his hand down Hinata’s cock and massaged the precome into his girth as he worked to bring the decoy to climax. He couldn’t keep his cat-like eyes off Hinata’s face, which was flushed and utterly wrecked as he neared the peak.</p><p>‘Like that,’ Hinata moaned. ‘Don’t you dare stop.’</p><p>Hunger gleamed in Kageyama’s eyes and he drove himself into the boy above him while steadily stroking his shaft.</p><p>‘Are you going to come for me?’ crooned Kageyama.</p><p>‘Oh, shit,’ breathed Hinata. ‘Oh, <em>f-fuck</em>!’</p><p>Hinata’s whole body tensed up, his knuckles were white as they gripped the shelf in front of him, and the rock-hard heat in Kageyama’s hand throbbed as Hinata’s pleasure peaked and liquid shot in great, shuddering spurts down over Kageyama’s stomach. Kageyama carried him through it, stroking his cock in an unwavering pace until the decoy was utterly spent and his laboured pants became shaky and broken. Finally, Kageyama was able to let himself go and allow himself to become utterly overcome by the gripping heat around his cock that had become intensely tight after Hinata’s orgasm. He grasped Hinata’s hips again and thrust up into him, feeling every contour of the decoy’s insides against his naked cock, and pleasure mounted upon itself in rearing roils inside of him.</p><p>‘I’m going to finish inside you, okay?’ he said, meeting Hinata’s eyes through his fringe.</p><p>Hinata nodded and took hold of Kageyama’s shoulders tightly. Kageyama drove up into him at an agonising pace. Kageyama’s whole body felt tensed up and taut as his ecstasy peaked and he pumped his final throes of gratification into the decoy. He could feel his own cock pulsing with every burst of semen that filled Hinata from the inside until he himself felt as empty and light as the wind and his last torturous thrusts were stilled.</p><p>Kageyama stayed there panting heavily, his eyes obscured in the mess of his fringe which was sticking to his forehead, as he gradually came down from the high. Once he had gathered himself, he released Hinata’s hips, his fingers feeling stiff from the strength of his grip, and Hinata climbed off and slumped back onto the bed beside him with a sigh. Kageyama pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes as the pace of his breathing eased. When he opened his eyes again, Hinata looked over at him with a grin. The decoy’s eyes were still dazed and seemed oddly far away, and yet in their depths burned a shining light that reached Kageyama even through the fog.</p><p>‘Your stamina is next level,’ said Kageyama, shaking his head in disbelief.</p><p>‘You’re not half bad yourself,’ grinned Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama pushed his hair back off his forehead and closed his eyes again. There was nothing in his life that could compare with Hinata and what the decoy would let him do with his body. It had fast become his favourite thing and his heart swelled with gratitude to Hinata for giving him such unimaginable pleasure. He reached out his arm and Hinata, understanding the gesture, rolled over to rest his head on Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama wound his arm lightly around Hinata’s shoulders and sighed in utter contentment. They lay there in comfortable silence for a while until they mutually agreed to go and clean up in the bathroom downstairs. Kageyama washed himself in the sink before returning to his bedroom alone and giving Hinata some privacy. He pulled on his grey trackpants before sighing and sitting heavily back on his bed. In that moment, Kageyama had to admit to himself that life was pretty good. He felt the familiar rush of endorphins that he usually experienced after a satisfying volleyball match or a particularly fulfilling run, but this time he had only Hinata to thank. Not for the first time, he wondered if “love” really was the word to describe how he felt about the decoy. He leaned back against the wall as Hinata came in, holding his hands in front of himself and looking slightly embarrassed as he put on his briefs and shorts again under Kageyama’s lazy gaze. Hinata then sat on the bed with his back to the headboard.</p><p>‘It was creepy to walk through your house without pants on,’ said Hinata. ‘I kept thinking your dad was gonna come in through the front door.’</p><p>‘He’s not even in the country,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘It’s still indecent,’ argued Hinata.</p><p>‘I thought you were into that kind of thing,’ said Kageyama, with a smirk.</p><p>‘Not <em>that</em> kind of thing!’</p><p>‘So, you’re not gonna drag me to the bathroom in Kamei Arena again once the prelims start?’</p><p>‘I don’t wanna talk about it,’ sighed Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama frowned.</p><p>‘The bathroom or prelims?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Prelims,’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘Why not?’ asked Kageyama. ‘I thought you’d be excited.’</p><p>‘I am,’ insisted Hinata. ‘But <em>argh</em>, it just stresses me out! I feel like the more I think about it, the more nervous I’ll get so it’s better if I try not to think at all until we have to play.’</p><p>‘Well, that shouldn’t be too difficult,’ said Kageyama, slyly.</p><p>Hinata grabbed the pillow from behind his back and thwacked Kageyama in the shoulder with it. Kageyama just smirked, snatched the pillow off the decoy, and bundled it into his lap. The annoyance that had flared in Hinata’s face faded back into contentment and Kageyama noticed a curious softness swilling in those light brown eyes to which he had grown so partial.</p><p>‘I was thinking,’ said Hinata, slowly, ‘if I had something to look forward to after the prelims, it’d probably stop me feeling so nervous. Y’know, something that’s not related to the competition.’</p><p>‘What do you mean?’ said Kageyama, frowning again.</p><p>‘Well…’ Hinata looked down through his lashes and started drawing circles with the tip of his finger on the bedspread. ‘Would you maybe wanna have another sleepover at my place? We could, um, have dinner with my mum and sister and you could get to know them a little better, if you’d want to?’</p><p>His eyes met Kageyama’s and Kageyama felt warmth spread in his heart. It wasn’t only the fact that Hinata was already proposing another opportunity for them to have sex while his hair was still mussed up from their last session, but this was Hinata inviting Kageyama into his life as something more than just a classmate. Perhaps, Kageyama could be introduced to Hinata’s family as a friend, or at least someone who held some special significance to him. The prospect made Kageyama’s nerves twang once more but he was soothed by Hinata’s own obvious nervousness as he toyed with the blanket and waited for Kageyama’s response.</p><p>‘Sure,’ said Kageyama, and he threw the pillow back lightly to where Hinata caught it in his hands. ‘But only if you promise to ride me like that again.’</p><p>Hinata’s mouth dropped open in shock before he smirked slyly and excitement thrilled down Kageyama’s spine.</p><p>‘You got it,’ said Hinata, and he gave a shining grin.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Bigger and Better Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Just a note, sorry to spoil this chapter a bit but the All-Japan youth training camp gets introduced and it deviates a little from the canon so I’ll briefly explain here what the difference is. In this work, the All-Japan training camp lasts longer and is much more prestigious. The implication is that Kageyama will be either asked to commit to more All-Japan training camps in the near future or be drafted to an elite youth team that will lead to a career in professional volleyball. Canonically, the All-Japan training camp takes place in December whereas in this work, it takes place at the end of October and lasts until mid-November. Thanks and enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning of the Interhigh Preliminaries dawned bright and clear, and Kageyama felt wide awake as soon as he opened his eyes. Everything that had happened for the past few months had been in preparation for today: their training, his late nights in the gym, studying, practice matches, training camps, everything. Even his interactions with Hinata had always felt the weight of the Preliminaries lurking underneath, forcing him to be careful and reminding him constantly what was at stake should he misstep. Once the competition was over, they would either be going to Nationals or… Kageyama didn’t want to think about the alternative. To him, there <em>was</em> no other alternative. He knew already that he was able to win — he just had to see if the rest of the team had prepared as much as he had himself.</p><p>He rolled over in bed and pressed his face into the pillow. He vividly remembered the sight of Hinata’s head lying right where his was now; how the decoy’s orange hair had fanned out in contrast against the blue of the pillowcase and how his fists at gripped the sheets at either side of his head. For a split second, the sound of Hinata moaning rang loudly in Kageyama’s ears before the quiet of the room took over again. If he breathed deeply, he could still pick out notes of cotton and tatami clinging to the pillow as desperately as he clung to the memory of that night. He squeezed his eyes shut. <em>Stop it</em>, he told himself firmly, and he sat up abruptly. Now was not the time to be indulging in memories and fantasies of what was and what could be. Kageyama had a game to win.</p><p>He ate a light breakfast and donned his black volleyball team tracksuit before heading out towards Karasuno High. The team would be travelling to Sendai by minibus to avoid the complications of public transit navigation so that each and every one of them could focus entirely on preparing mentally for the upcoming match. The first team they would be playing against was Johzenji High. Coach Ukai had announced it to them all after a particularly gruelling training session a few days prior when the official match-ups had been released and Kageyama felt no real trepidation about playing against them. Johzenji was a lower-ranking team with whom Karasuno could warm up and get into a flow before going up against more challenging teams. As Kageyama crossed the railway line on his way to school, Oikawa’s jeering face floated into his mind and he remembered the last time he had seen his senpai. They had played a practice match against Aoba Johsai and lost, and from that Oikawa had supposedly been able to tell that Kageyama and Hinata were something more than friends. If Karasuno versed Seijoh now, what more could Oikawa deduce about them? Surely nothing remotely close to the truth. Even though Oikawa had told him at the time that other players had been gossiping about Kageyama and Hinata, Kageyama didn’t believe it. He was convinced that Oikawa himself had figured out that something was going on and only told Kageyama otherwise to get under his skin. Back then, Kageyama had believed that if anyone found out he and Hinata had touched inappropriately, his life would be ruined; now, he couldn’t help but inwardly laugh at how drastically the situation had changed. <em>It’s fine</em>, he told himself. <em>There’s no way that Oikawa could figure it out</em>. But even still, the prospect of playing against Seijoh and Oikawa posed a different kind of threat to Kageyama than usual competition. He rounded the gateway to Karasuno High and pushed the thought from his mind. He would deal with the confrontation of Seijoh when they inevitably played against them.</p><p>Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei were already at the gym as well as Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and some of the second-years. As Kageyama arrived, Hinata, too, came from where he had left his bike in the bike rack.</p><p>‘Good morning, Kageyama!’ said Hinata, brightly.</p><p>Kageyama cast the decoy an unconcerned glance. The memory of him gripping the shelf above Kageyama’s bed and riding the setter to orgasm flashed through Kageyama’s mind and he felt a swooping sensation in his stomach. Hinata was smiling sweetly and Kageyama’s teeth clenched.</p><p>‘Morning,’ he mumbled.</p><p>‘Did you sleep alright, Kageyama?’ asked Nishinoya, peering at him suspiciously. ‘You look kinda flushed; wait, you’re not sick, are you?!’</p><p>‘I’m fine!’ said Kageyama, quickly. ‘I - I just ran here, that’s probably why.’</p><p>‘Lame,’ snorted Tsukishima.</p><p>‘Oh, I like your enthusiasm, Kageyama!’ said Nishinoya, and he clapped the setter on the shoulder.</p><p>The rest of the team soon arrived and they all moved outside towards where the minibus was parked beyond the gym. Everyone was dressed in their black Karasuno tracksuits and the sight of the uniform sent a sense of readiness taut through Kageyama's muscles. He fell into step beside Hinata and glanced down at him through his fringe.</p><p>‘You ready for today?’ he asked.</p><p>‘You bet!’ said Hinata, excitedly. ‘I even brought these jelly sport drinks with me. They were kind of pricey but they’re meant to give you more energy and help your muscles stay awake when playing sports. Cool, right?’</p><p>‘Nice, Hinata!’ said Yamaguchi, appreciatively. ‘I wish I’d thought of something like that.’</p><p>‘No worries, we can share,’ said Hinata. ‘I brought a whole bunch and there’s all different flavours, there's no way I could try them all by myself.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded to himself, appeased for the moment that Hinata wasn’t going to become a terrified mess and ruin their chances at winning. There was a tense current running through them all at the fact that they were finally heading to an official match with very real stakes that hadn’t been present during their practice matches. Every smile had an edge of seriousness, every glance betrayed the nervousness bubbling just beneath the surface. Kageyama noticed that the third-years in particular seemed unusually subdued. After all, this was to be the last time that they would be heading to Sendai for a preliminary competition. Beyond this was Nationals, or nothing. Even though Kageyama knew that he would have more chances next year and the year after, the fact was irrelevant — to him, this might have been his last chance, too.</p><p>They boarded the minibus and Hinata followed Kageyama to some seats near the back. As he sat down, Hinata’s arm pressed against Kageyama’s and Kageyama wondered if the closeness was intentional or if the decoy had just grown so accustomed to physical contact with Kageyama that he didn’t take notice anymore. Either prospect made Kageyama’s face involuntarily soften and he leaned his elbow against the armrest. Takeda-sensei started up the engine and they pulled out into the road. Kageyama watched the early morning traffic as people made their way to work or school before the minibus left town and made its way through the countryside towards Sendai city.</p><p>‘Oi, check this out, Kageyama.’</p><p>Hinata nudged him in the side and showed him a picture on his phone. It was a selfie taken by the setter of Nekoma with him, Yamamoto, Yaku and Kuroo all flashing various hand signs. They were standing out the front of the gym where they were to compete in the Preliminaries for the Tokyo prefecture representative.</p><p>‘“Nerima Hikarigaoka Gymnasium”,’ Kageyama read aloud the name over the top of the gymnasium’s double doors.</p><p>‘Kenma said they got to play in their ward’s gym first,’ said Hinata, brightly, ‘so luck’s already on their side!’</p><p>‘Or they got lucky with that and now they need some bad luck to balance things out,’ mused Kageyama.</p><p>‘Don’t be such a downer, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, shoving him with his shoulder. ‘They’re definitely going to Nationals, there’s no doubt about it.’</p><p>‘What makes you so sure?’</p><p>‘Well, we’re gonna go to Nationals and they always win against us,’ Hinata explained, reasonably. ‘So it only makes sense that they’re going to go too, right?’</p><p>Kageyama’s brow furrowed at Hinata’s logic but he decided not to comment. He watched the farmland slowly give way to housing which in turn became the city centre as they drove to Kamei Arena. He had no real doubt in his mind that Nekoma would make it to Nationals. Despite his general dislike towards their setter, the team was undeniably superior in skill and strength and Kageyama was eager to play against them in Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. Somehow, he believed that when he beat Nekoma’s setter once and for all in an official match, he would finally be able to shake the nagging feeling in he back of his mind that made him scowl at the fact that Kozume was sending Hinata selfies.</p><p>An increasing sense of clarity filled Kageyama’s mind as they approached the gymnasium until he was braced by the overwhelming drive to don his volleyball trainers and get onto the court. Coach Ukai lead the team inside and Kageyama was greeted by a familiar sight. The gym was bustling with teams decked out in matching sports uniforms, coaches and teachers chatting with one another, student managers weaving their way through the crowds, and spectators taking in the charged atmosphere and looking on with admiration at their teams of interest. Where Kageyama’s height normally made him feel out of place in public spaces, here he felt at home among the tall. This was his place and these were his people. White and teal, white and turquoise, white and dark blue, white and maroon, white and yellow, white and light blue, white and pink, lime and yellow, the colours flashed and mingled in front of his eyes as Karasuno moved through the crowds towards the courts. Their match was to start soon and they needed to warm up. Kageyama elected to keep his eyes fixed on the back of Tsukishima’s blond head as they made their way through the gymnasium; he didn’t need the sight of Oikawa, Kindaichi, Koganegawa, or Shiratorizawa’s Ushijima to throw him off his game. He definitely didn't need to see the bathroom were he and Hinata had engaged in unsavoury relations the last time they were here despite the fact that it glowed like a beacon in his periphery as they passed. He needed to focus and prepare.</p><p>‘I can't believe we’re finally here again!’ said Hinata, with a tremble of excitement in his voice. ‘It’s so cool! I wish we could just play already!’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Kageyama agreed without thinking, and Hinata grinned at him.</p><p>They changed into their black-and-orange jerseys and made their way onto the warm-up court. Some teams were already playing and Kageyama flicked a glance at them before returning his focus to the task at hand. Karasuno would be playing next and he needed to get his muscles to the same degree of wakefulness as his mind.</p><p>‘Okay everyone.’ Coach Ukai took a deep breath and looked each of them, one by one, in the eye. ‘We’ve made it this far. I know we have what it takes to win. There are some strong teams here that no one can deny will be a real challenge, but focus on the task at hand: beating Johzenji High. Breathe, relax, and trust your training. Every one of you has worked yourselves mad preparing for this and all of our training won’t let you down. Alright! Let’s warm up!’</p><p>‘Right!’ chorused the team.</p><p>Kageyama’s nerves felt heightened all the way to his fingertips and toes. It was as if an electric current was running through him, alighting his senses and readying his reflexes. The others made their way onto the court but Kageyama spoke before he moved.</p><p>‘Hinata,’ he said, and the decoy, who had been running forwards with the others, looked back at him.</p><p>‘Eh? What is it, Kageyama?’</p><p>Kageyama looked him full in the face, well aware of the intensity radiating from his features.</p><p>‘With my toss, you can fly even higher,’ he said.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes widened. He stared at Kageyama for a moment before setting his face and nodding once.</p><p>‘I know,’ he said. ‘I trust you.’</p><p>‘Good,’ said Kageyama, firmly.</p><p>‘Come on, Kageyama,’ said Hinata, and he stepped forward to tug at the setter’s wrist. ‘You’re being too intense, let’s warm up!’</p><p>‘Yeah, yeah…’ </p><p>They practiced serves and Kageyama felt a lightness in his limbs when he jumped, a keenness in his eye and a steadiness in his breath.</p><p>‘You seem really riled up today, Kageyama,’ said Sugawara, who was serving beside him.</p><p>‘I’m feeling good,’ replied Kageyama.</p><p>Sugawara raised his eyebrows in surprise but he looked impressed.</p><p>‘You have no idea how much you just raised my confidence,’ he sighed.</p><p>Kageyama smirked and Sugawara’s eyebrows seemed in danger of disappearing into his hairline. The players of Johzenji High, bedecked in yellow and white, sauntered onto the opposite side of the court, all laughing loudly and chatting in boisterous voices. Kageyama’s eyes narrowed. The enemy approached.</p><p>Karasuno and Johzenji took up their positions on either side of the net and thanked one another for the upcoming match. The team soon proved to be curiously unorthodox and their sheer unpredictability caused Karasuno to let in more points than Kageyama had initially expected. He watched the progress of the ball move between the Johzenji players, often saved by a kick or a clumsy thwack that made the rest of the team laugh, and Kageyama realised that this play style in and of itself was a strategy. In comparison, Karasuno’s synchronisation felt unparalleled. Kageyama set up more synchronised attacks than usual purely to show the Johzenji High players that they could pull off such cohesion and, when the opportunity finally came, Hinata completed their god-like quick with a perfection that became the envy of the entire gym. Pride flared in Kageyama’s chest and he couldn’t resist yelling out praise with the rest of the team. Hinata, however, only looked at Kageyama and his eyes shone.</p><p>‘One more, Kageyama!’ he said, with a shimmering grin.</p><p>‘You got it!’ shot back Kageyama.</p><p>They won against Johzenji High and Kageyama felt a heady sense of relief. Despite the fact that he had been convinced from the start that Karasuno would win, it was still greatly satisfying to have his conviction affirmed. As they made their way back to the changing room, there was an energy in his step that wasn’t normally there and for the moment, he allowed himself to truly relax into the joy of victory despite the fact that the tournament would continue tomorrow. As soon as the thought entered his head, Kageyama realised immediately that Karasuno would be going up against Aoba Johsai — and that meant Oikawa. He inhaled deeply and exhaled, weighing the fact in his mind. He knew that it was going to come down to that but it still made him oddly agitated. The rest of the Karasuno team members were talking lightly and sharing jokes but Kageyama was quiet. He could see the keenness of Oikawa’s gaze in his mind’s eye and the creepy way he surveyed Kageyama that made Kageyama feel like Oikawa could see right through him.</p><p>They made their way back to Karasuno in high spirits and Coach Ukai rounded them up into the gym for an overview of the day’s performance. Takeda-sensei left for his office to deal with some administrative matters while the others sat in a semi-circle in front of Ukai. Confidence was noticeably higher among them after their win, especially for the third-years who gave comments and suggestions frequently alongside Ukai’s analysis. Kageyama’s head was filled with Oikawa’s stupid face and the mountain that was Ushijima Wakatoshi loomed constantly in the background.</p><p>Suddenly the gym door was wrenched open and Takeda-sensei was standing there, glasses askew and panting heavily. There was a brightness in his eyes that locked immediately onto Kageyama’s face. Ukai stopped talking and everyone looked over at the teacher.</p><p>‘Sorry for the interruption,’ he said, breathlessly. ‘Kageyama-kun. I just got off the phone with the head of the All-Japan Youth Division. You are being considered as a invitee to the All-Japan training camp in Tokyo that takes place in two weeks’ time.’</p><p>‘What?’ said Kageyama, blankly.</p><p>‘Eh?’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘All-Japan?!’ repeated the entire team.</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes widened. The gym erupted into excited chatter and Kageyama felt the weight of every pair of eyes suddenly staring at him. Through the din, the words echoed in his head. All-Japan? That was the training camp where they sought out young players to prepare for a professional career in national-level volleyball. And he was actually being considered? Only the very best players in the country were invited. What did that mean? He hadn't been chosen yet? How could he get chosen? His heart pounded in his ears as thoughts raced through his head.</p><p>‘Depending on how the rest of this tournament goes,’ Takeda-sensei continued, and the noise died down, ‘they will offer you an official invitation. I believe it goes without saying that if we get through to Nationals you’ll be more likely to be chosen, however they’re judging your individual play style so it’s not entirely necessary.’</p><p>‘Did they say when they’ll decide?’ asked Kageyama, quickly.</p><p>‘Soon after the Preliminaries are over, I expect,’ said Takeda-sensei, with a smile. ‘I’ll keep you updated — but keep it in mind, Kageyama-kun.’</p><p>‘I - I will,’ Kageyama stammered.</p><p>Takeda-sensei left and the noise of chatter surged again.</p><p>‘Seriously, All-Japan?!’ said Tanaka and Nishinoya at the same time.</p><p>‘That’s our Kageyama!’ said Sugawara, slapping Kageyama on the back.</p><p>‘I didn’t realise our setter was so good!’ mused Daichi, nudging Kageyama with his elbow.</p><p>‘I guess he’s alright,’ sniffed Tsukishima.</p><p>‘Alright, alright, that’s enough!’ crowed Ukai, waving them down. ‘Let’s try to focus on the match tomorrow but that’s all from me for today, you can all go home and rest up.’</p><p>‘Right!’ chorused the team.</p><p>The team got to their feet and the players took it upon themselves to clap Kageyama on the shoulder or offer him congratulations as they left the gym. Kageyama noticed that the only person who hadn’t said anything since Takeda-sensei’s announcement was Hinata. The decoy was staring, dumbfounded, at Kageyama. The blank look on the his face caused Kageyama to avert his eyes and he shoved Hinata in the shoulder in an attempt to snap him out of it.</p><p>‘Come on, let’s go,’ he said, gruffly.</p><p>‘O-Okay,’ said Hinata, dazedly.</p><p>Kageyama’s head was spinning. He knew he ought to feel happy — excited, elated even — but there was an overwhelming presence of doubt that bore over him at the turn of events. Participating in such a prestigious training camp was the opportunity of a lifetime that would be the first step on his path to a career in professional volleyball. Kageyama’s drive for that career had never wavered, not once, and yet now that he was faced with the possibility, he felt himself held back by something that he couldn’t quite identify.</p><p>He stood in the doorway of the gym and watched as Hinata ran across the courtyard to fetch his bike. The rest of the team were already making their way in groups out of the courtyard towards the boundaries of the school, chatting in raucous voices about their victory of the day and speculating about tomorrow. The sky was darkening already despite the early hour and a chill breeze whipped Kageyama’s fringe over his face. He zipped his jacket up under his chin and dug his hands into his pockets. The reality of the lonely path to the top made itself clear to him in that moment as he realised that if he really was invited to the training camp, he would go there alone and Hinata and the rest of his teammates would stay behind in Karasuno. All this time, he had been fighting to improve himself and his skills for his own sake… but also for Hinata's sake. Their partnership was one to which he had been utterly committed since Hinata first spiked his toss at the beginning of spring and Kageyama had been actively trying to help Hinata improve in their training sessions without him really being conscious of the fact. Apparently, by trying to bring the best out in Hinata, he had inadvertently brought out the best in himself and the higher-ups had noticed. He thought about evening practice without Hinata and how different his life would be in that moment if the orange-haired decoy had never had a part in it. If he had never met Hinata, Kageyama certainly wouldn’t be having doubts about attending the All-Japan training camp, that was for sure. He pictured himself staying late in the gym alone, practicing spikes against the wall and tossing for the empty space behind him, and his heart was gripped in that moment by the blazing sun that was Hinata Shouyou’s presence in his life.</p><p>He strode across the courtyard to where Hinata was pulling his bike out of the rack and the decoy looked up expectantly and the sound of his approaching footsteps.</p><p>‘Aren’t you going home, Kageyama?’ he asked.</p><p>‘I’ll walk with you,’ said Kageyama, stiffly. ‘Until the mountain crossing.’</p><p>‘Oh, thanks!’</p><p>Hinata straightened up with a grin and they fell in step together, Hinata wheeling his bike alongside himself. They walked a ways behind the rest of the team and called goodbyes out to them before turning down the main road towards the bottom of the mountain. Kageyama’s fingers were fidgeting in his pockets and his thoughts were racing. He wanted to talk to Hinata, to ask him what he thought and how he felt, but he couldn’t find the words. He felt like he couldn’t even speak. What if he went to Tokyo? What if got drafted to a team in another part of the country and had to move permanently? Hinata spoke up first and broke the quiet that had persisted between them while Kageyama’s mind whirred.</p><p>‘All-Japan, huh?’</p><p>Kageyama looked round at Hinata, who was peering up at him and grinning slyly.</p><p>‘Apparently,’ said Kageyama, shortly.</p><p>‘You’ll go, right?’</p><p>‘Do you really need to ask?’</p><p>‘I can’t believe I wasn’t chosen, too!’ said Hinata, with a laboured sigh. ‘It’s so unfair! I guess they really need a setter or something. Three weeks in Tokyo with the best underage players in the country… Oh man, just thinking about it gets me riled up. If you don’t take advantage of every single second that you’re there I’ll never forgive you.’</p><p>‘Of course I will,’ snapped Kageyama. ‘And I haven’t even been chosen yet, Takeda-sensei just said I was being considered.’</p><p>‘Come on, they’re obviously going to pick you,’ said Hinata. ‘They wouldn’t have told Takeda-sensei about it if they weren’t serious.’</p><p>‘Maybe.’</p><p>‘What if you get chosen? You’d probably have to spend a lot of time training in Tokyo, right? And then if you got picked for a national-level team, you’d have to move there full-time and transfer to some crazy elite high school for sport geniuses, probably like the Tokyo-version of Shiratorizawa or something. Would - would your parents let you do something like that?’</p><p>Hinata glanced up at Kageyama and Kageyama could see in his face that he, too, was suddenly worried about the future. Kageyama heard the trepidation in Hinata’s voice and he grabbed the decoy by the wrist. Hinata spun around in Kageyama's grasp and his noise of confusion was drowned as Kageyama kissed him full on the mouth. Hinata pushed back immediately to look around for people but Kageyama didn’t care. He kissed Hinata again and wrapped his arms around him. Despite his downplaying of the situation, all the questions Hinata had been asking and more were swirling around in Kageyama’s head and muddying his thoughts. An All-Japan youth camp, playing for a national team, moving away, it all felt suddenly so overwhelming that he desperately needed something familiar to ground him in reality — and that was this: the feel of Hinata’s lips under his, the shape of his body in Kageyama’s arms. This was real. It was here and now and the eddy of Kageyama’s thoughts calmed. He leaned back and looked at Hinata with gentle eyes.</p><p>‘You’re getting ahead of yourself,’ he said, lowly. ‘We haven’t even got through the prelims yet.’</p><p>The sight of Hinata pouting made Kageyama smirk and he let the decoy go. His worries eased slightly and they continued walking side-by-side down the road. They reached the mountain crossing, said goodbye to each other and parted ways. Hinata rode off into the growing darkness and Kageyama made his way home alone. Hinata had smiled, waved and promised to be at his best tomorrow, but Kageyama noticed the way the smile didn’t quite reach the decoy’s eyes. This All-Japan thing was an unprecedented rift between them that threatened to grow to a sundering chasm with every passing moment. The question that had been at the core of his worries floated to the front of Kageyama’s mind as he watched the road under his feet: if he left, what would happen between he and Hinata? As soon as the thought was unveiled in his mind, anxiety spiked through him. He couldn’t think about it, at least not now. He had to get through the Preliminaries first and get an official invitation before he dedicated any real time to considering the possibilities.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The next day, the Karasuno volleyball team hovered around the lobby of Kamei Arena, waiting for their turn to go up against Aoba Johsai. Everybody’s nerves were taut, even more so than yesterday, and Kageyama sat alone on a bench by one of the large windows a little way away from the rest of the team. He had barely spoken with Hinata that day and part of him wondered if it was because of All-Japan or if it was purely coincidental. He could hear Hinata talking loudly with Yamaguchi about his jelly sport drinks and wondered vaguely if Hinata was really as carefree as he appeared.</p><p>‘Which are you going to choose?’</p><p>Kageyama looked up and realised with surprise that Tsukishima had sat down beside him without him even noticing. The blond-haired boy leaned forward onto his knees and watched Kageyama from the corner of his eye.</p><p>‘Huh?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He assumed Tsukishima had come to taunt him about Tokyo and he didn’t have any interest in listening. All the stress of the past day had worn his patience exceptionally thin and he glared daggers at Tsukishima, who looked back expressionlessly.</p><p>‘All-Japan or Hinata,’ Tsukishima clarified. ‘Which are you going to choose?’</p><p>Kageyama’s scowl deepened. He didn’t know what Tsukishima was getting at but he couldn’t help but notice an unusual lack of malice in the middle blocker’s eyes.</p><p>‘What do you care?’ Kageyama said, shortly. ‘That’s not much of a choice.’</p><p>‘Isn’t it?’</p><p>Tsukishima’s gaze was steady and Kageyama suddenly understood: Tsukishima knew about his more-than-friends relationship with Hinata. Kageyama had suspected that Tsukishima was aware for some time now but had never had enough proof to confront him. Now, however, it was apparent that their tactful game of don’t-ask-don’t-tell had come to an end. Kageyama remembered his conversation with Nekoma’s Kuroo at their training camp in Tsukihama Beach and he could only assume that the third-year and Tsukishima were still somehow involved. It suddenly dawned on Kageyama that Tsukishima might be the only person he knew that could even somewhat understand what he was going through.</p><p>‘You know, huh?’ he said, though it wasn’t really a question.</p><p>‘I’m not blind,’ drawled Tsukishima, but then his face grew impassive again. ‘I know that you know about Kuroo-san and me. I’m… grateful you’ve kept it to yourself.’</p><p>Kageyama stared at him. Was he witnessing a humble Tsukishima? What planet was he on?</p><p>‘You’re welcome?’ he said, though it sounded like a question.</p><p>‘I’m just —’ Tsukishima’s brow furrowed. ‘Forget it.’</p><p>He made to get up but Kageyama spoke.</p><p>‘Wait,’ he said.</p><p>Tsukishima looked at him curiously and sat back down again. Kageyama could feel the weight in his chest and knew that the only person that would be able to give him anything resembling advice was sitting right next to him.</p><p>‘How do you even date someone that far away?’ asked Kageyama, speaking to the floor. ‘He lives in Tokyo and you live here. Doesn’t it drive you crazy?’</p><p>Tsukishima clasped his long fingers loosely together in front of himself and thought for a moment before answering.</p><p>‘We talk every day,’ he said, slowly, ‘on the phone or video calls, and we message a lot. He’s come up to visit a couple of times and I’ve visited him in Tokyo. It’s hard to find time with school and practice but maybe it’s easier because we’ve never had it any other way. It’s really lame sometimes but, I don’t know, it's worth it in the end, I guess. It’ll be easier once I finished high school and can move there for university.’</p><p>‘I thought you wanted to go to Tohoku University?’ said Kageyama, remembering overhearing a conversation about it between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.</p><p>‘I changed my mind,’ shrugged Tsukishima.</p><p>‘You must be pretty into him.’</p><p>‘It's not how I feel about him,’ Tsukishima corrected. ‘It’s how you feel about Hinata.’</p><p>‘Why do you care, anyway?’ grumbled Kageyama, glaring at his shoes.</p><p>‘Because I wouldn’t wish your situation on anybody,’ said Tsukishima, and there was an odd quietness in his voice. ‘Not even my worst enemy.’</p><p>Kageyama could hardly believe what he was hearing, especially from Tsukishima, but they were speaking candidly for the first time and he wasn’t about to make a big deal about it. Instead, he just sighed and gazed up unseeingly at the ceiling, his fringe falling over his eyes.</p><p>‘There isn’t a choice,’ he said, and he could hear the hatefulness in his own voice.</p><p>‘How is it that every one of your thoughts is so geometric?’ drawled Tsukishima. ‘It’s like you can’t think outside of your own set lines. All human actions aren’t inherently determined by what you should and shouldn’t do, you know.’</p><p>‘I’m being logical,’ snapped Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, I hope for your sake that you don’t regret it,’ said Tsukishima. ‘You should listen to how you feel, not how you think you ought to. That should help you make up your mind.’</p><p>‘I told you, there isn’t really a choice to be made. I know what I have to do.’</p><p>‘Are you going to tell Hinata that?’ asked Tsukishima, with an eyebrow raised.</p><p>‘Well —’ Kageyama hesitated. ‘I guess I’ll have to.’</p><p>‘Try to do it in a way that won’t screw up the entire team.’ Tsukishima got to his feet. ‘And, Kageyama.’</p><p>Kageyama looked up at the middle blocker and he could feel the scowl on his own face. Tsukishima looked back with a curiously passive expression on his face.</p><p>‘You’ve got to decide on whether you’ll make Hinata a real part of your life or if it’s time to put your summer fling to rest and move on,’ he said. ‘Both choices take sacrifices; it’s up to you which is more important.’</p><p>He walked away and Kageyama watched him go with an increasingly hollow feeling in his chest. He was backed into a corner with no way to get out of the situation unscathed. Of one thing he could be sure: if he broke things off with Hinata, things would never be the same between them again. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hmm, things were going suspiciously well for Hinata and Kageyama that it was only a matter of time before reality got in the way. Thank you very much for reading and see you again soon for the next chapter in which Kageyama decides what to do with his new predicament - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The End and the Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karasuno Volleyball Team was crowned the victor of the Interhigh Preliminaries and set to represent Miyagi prefecture at Nationals in February. Kageyama stood among his teammates and accepted the winning title, he celebrated with them afterwards at a restaurant where Nishinoya toppled a jug of water over their food in his attempt to re-enact Tsukishima’s block against Ushijima and Coach Ukai drank so many beers that he gave a long and painstakingly detailed speech about the reasons he was proud of each and every one of them individually. The players of Aoba Johsai had all disappeared after their loss and, despite Oikawa’s narrow eyes piercing his, Kageyama had no reason to suspect that his old senpai was any wiser about the nature of his relationship with Hinata. Winning the Preliminary title was Kageyama’s greatest achievement to date and yet there was an emptiness in his chest that prevented him from riding the high of victory in the same way his teammates did. The whole school felt the pride of the volleyball team’s success and a huge banner congratulating them flew beside the front doors for everyone to see. Even Kageyama’s classmates and teachers acknowledged his success and offered congratulations wherever he went. Kageyama nodded graciously and thanked them all and yet the victory rang hollow in his mind. Something was missing that prevented him from truly valuing everything that had come to pass.</p>
<p>A couple of days after the Preliminaries were over, the news came that Kageyama had been formally invited to attend the All-Japan Youth Division training camp that was to take place in a little over a week’s time. As soon as Takeda-sensei informed him of the invitation, Kageyama accepted. Takeda-sensei took the time to impress upon him just how prestigious the opportunity was and that Kageyama was being offered a chance to eventually transfer from Karasuno High to a sports-focussed high school of elites in some other part of the country. Kageyama listened and nodded along with Takeda-sensei’s speech but in his heart, an icy core was beginning to take root. The volleyball team congratulated him and yet Kageyama couldn’t ignore the weight in his chest and the fact that, when Hinata clapped him jovially on the back, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Kageyama felt as if he was being resigned to a fate that a part of him desperately wanted to resist. He had once said that he felt the same way about Hinata as he felt about volleyball. They were the two most precious things in his life, the two things that he loved above all else. How could he possibly choose between them at the detriment of the other? And no matter how much he might want to change his situation, the reality wouldn’t budge: the choice was staring him in the face whether he was ready to acknowledge it or not. He had never considered the possibility that a day might come when he would have to leave Hinata behind. He had accepted Hinata as a part of his life so easily and the decoy’s presence had always seemed so permanent. It had never even occurred to him that things could change. It had only been recently that he had come to understand his equal love for volleyball and Hinata, despite volleyball claiming his heart for far longer. There was no logical way that they could continue doing what they were doing if Kageyama started seriously pursuing a career in professional volleyball hundreds of kilometres away. There was so much lightness and uncertainty in the nature of their relationship anyway that trying to hold onto it would only be dragging out the inevitable. If they couldn’t play together, have study sessions or stay over at each other’s houses, then what would they even have? Kageyama thought often about the conversation he had had with Tsukishima at the Preliminaries and how the middle blocker was able to have a long-distance relationship with Kuroo. Talking on the phone? Video chatting? Texting? Kageyama did none of that with Hinata. They saw each other in person almost every day at training and after school that he never really had a reason to contact the decoy via phone. Shifting their dynamic to one that was online was impossible. No matter how much Kageyama tried to find a solution in which he could have the two things he wanted most, he came up short. There was no way in his mind to make it work.</p>
<p>As soon as it became known that Kageyama would leave for Tokyo, a wall was erected between he and Hinata. They practiced together like normal and raced to the gym after class but Kageyama noticed that Hinata no longer lingered behind after training to stay in the gym with him; instead, he ran after the others to walk with the rest of the team or visited Sakanoshita Shop with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, leaving Kageyama to make his way home alone. He recalled how Hinata had invited him to stay the night in Yukigaoka and have dinner with his family some time after the Preliminaries were over but Hinata never brought it up. Kageyama knew that they had to talk but he, too, was dreading the conversation. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to say. Things were about to irrevocably disrupt the comfortable relationship they had built together and Kageyama didn’t know how to face the fact. He thought about trying to continue their more-than-friends relationship to something long-distance but Kageyama wasn’t even sure what kind of relationship he had with Hinata. They had never talked about commitment or dating or having an exclusive relationship. They had never talked about anything so serious. All they did was kiss and touch and have sex because it felt good, not because they specifically wanted to be together — right? Kageyama wondered if he wanted to be in an actual committed relationship with Hinata but quashed the thought before it could manifest. If he had to leave, there was no point in considering the possibility. He was single and Hinata was single and neither of them wanted to be in a relationship with anyone. They were teammates — friends, even — that just had a special kind of private relationship with one another. If Kageyama suggested anything long-term, he would be inviting the prospect of an exclusive romantic relationship which he absolutely was not ready for, nor would Hinata likely ever even consider. No, there wasn’t any real possibility. At least for the time being, they would have to stop their weird more-than-friends dynamic for the foreseeable future. The logical part of Kageyama’s mind understood that if they were to break things off now, the momentum of their relationship would most likely never be fuelled by the same fire again. As it was, it had been building upon itself and growing out of control for the past few months that things had inherently changed between them without Kageyama even really realising. It had started at the last Preliminaries against Aoba Johsai when Hinata had thrown himself at Kageyama and they had embraced for the first time. That gesture, seemingly so insignificant, had opened a well in Kageyama’s mind and changed his perception of the decoy forever. Then, they had gone to a training camp with Nekoma and Fukurodani and Kageyama had touched Hinata in the bath before dragging him outside and embracing him. Thinking about it now made embarrassment colour Kageyama’s cheeks. Back then, he had acted purely on instinct without any thought for the consequences or how Hinata could possibly have viewed him at the time. It had been rash and thoughtless, but Kageyama couldn’t entirely regret it no matter how humiliating it was to recall. All of those actions, so clumsy and awkward and instinctive, had lead him to this point. They had grown closer and kissed at Tanabata Festival in Sendai at the end of summer. They had snuck off to kiss after training sessions once school went back and gone further at the training camp in Tsukihama Beach. Then, Kageyama had gotten on his knees before Hinata at his house and Hinata had invited Kageyama over for a sleepover and everything had run out of control. Their lust, their affection, their connection had boiled over until the lines between them blurred and Kageyama had felt more alive than he had ever thought possible. For those weeks, he had lived in Hinata’s smile, breathed in the sound of his voice and thrived in their petty arguments and the warmth of Hinata’s skin. His spirit had soared and everything had fit so perfectly into place. And then, the invitation to Tokyo had come and derailed them both. Kageyama knew they needed to talk, he knew they had to discuss the true nature of their relationship, but Hinata seemed to be avoiding him and after everything that had happened, Kageyama felt more alone than ever. He had grown so accustomed to Hinata’s presence in his life and the availability of the decoy as a partner that the Hinata-shaped hole in his day-to-day existence ached.</p>
<p>The days to the All-Japan training camp counted down and the distance that Hinata kept from Kageyama became conspicuous to the setter. For once, Kageyama didn’t really mind. He was often occupied with thinking up scenarios in which he talked with Hinata and tried to get them to end somewhat mutually with no significant complications. He was concerned for Hinata’s feelings but he was also concerned for the sake of the team. Tsukishima had warned him of it in their conversation during the Preliminaries but the warning wasn’t necessary — it worried Kageyama greatly and he wished he could just press a neutral pause on his relationship with Hinata and resume where he left off whenever he came back. No matter how badly he might want to do that, however, he knew it was a bad idea. <em>A clean break</em>, he told himself.<em> If you drag it on, it’ll only make it worse</em>. Tsukishima had told him to put his “summer fling” to rest and Kageyama frequently dwelt on the wording the middle blocker had used. Was his more-than-friends relationship with Hinata really just a summer fling, or was it something more? Did Hinata think it was something more? If so, what did he think it was? Even though Kageyama knew there was no point thinking about, he couldn’t keep the thoughts out of his head. Either way, he knew he would have to come back to Karasuno to train with the team and compete at Nationals before committing to anything else. The prospect forced him to exercise caution.</p>
<p>No matter how many times he thought about ending things with Hinata, Kageyama couldn’t bring himself to do it. He saw the decoy at training after class, saw the light in his eyes and the easy way in which he smiled and laughed with the rest of the team, and couldn’t bring himself to say what he needed to say. He couldn’t bear to see the light there die. He couldn’t push away the person he so desperately wished to keep close. So much had happened between them and Kageyama had opened up to him in a way that he never had to anyone else that he couldn’t bear the thought of closing that door forever; and yet, closing the door would open another that would give him real, life-changing opportunities. More than once, he caught Tsukishima watching him from the corner of his eye and resisted the urge to click his tongue. The discerning way that Tsukishima looked at him put Kageyama on edge and made him feel pressured to act.</p>
<p>In the last week before he was to leave to Tokyo, Kageyama’s older sister Miwa visited their family home for the night. Kageyama had never been particularly close with his sister considering their large age gap and conspicuous personality differences but they got along just fine all the same. Miwa had once shared a passion for volleyball in their youth, however ditched the sport to pursue a career in hair and beauty which Kageyama thought was idiotic. In the evening after practice, he sat at the kitchen table scrolling absently through his phone as she unpacked a load of groceries that she’d brought on her way from the city.</p>
<p>‘I swear you grow like ten centimetres more every time I see you,’ she said, stacking a tower of cup ramen before fitting them into the cupboard. ‘I don’t know what flavour you like nowadays so I got a whole bunch, at least enough to tide you over before Dad gets back.’</p>
<p>‘Thanks,’ said Kageyama, without looking up.</p>
<p>‘How’s training?’ asked Miwa. ‘Mum’s told me all about you playing at Nationals and getting invited to the All-Japan Youth Division. My little bro’s not half bad!’</p>
<p>She grinned and Kageyama fought the urge to scowl.</p>
<p>‘That’s the main reason I came to visit, actually,’ she continued. ‘Gotta keep close ties with you before you get famous and start making bank, ha!’</p>
<p>‘Says the girl who has her own apartment in the middle of Sendai,’ sneered Kageyama.</p>
<p>‘Oh, not my own anymore, actually, did I tell you that Ryouhei is moving in?’</p>
<p>Kageyama immediately regretted mentioning it as Miwa began a tirade of information about her current boyfriend.</p>
<p>‘He’s just <em>so</em> tidy, I couldn’t say no!’ she said, waving her hands emphatically. ‘And he’s very athletic — he plays tennis, you know.’</p>
<p>‘Right, let me know when dinner’s ready,’ said Kageyama, getting to his feet.</p>
<p>‘No, no, I’ll stop!’ Miwa waved him down and he sat back down reluctantly. ‘Anyway, you’re in high school now, anyone spark your interest yet?’</p>
<p>She peered slyly at him through her black fringe and he scowled at the suggestive look on her face.</p>
<p>‘Like I’d tell you,’ he said, shortly.</p>
<p>‘Oooh, so someone has! Tell me all about it, I promise I won’t tell Mum and Dad.’</p>
<p>‘It’s — there’s nothing to tell!’ grumbled Kageyama, and he could feel the colour in his cheeks.</p>
<p>‘Being involved with someone isn’t as embarrassing as you think it is, Tobio,’ said Miwa, with a frown. ‘Everyone starts dating at some point, especially in high school. It’s normal. I mean, even I dated that one guy back in my first year, what was his name again?’</p>
<p>‘You don’t even remember?’</p>
<p>‘Was it Kaito? Or Kenji?’ she tapped her bottom lip thoughtfully. ‘No, no, Kenji was my boyfriend in second year, that’s right. Well, it’s not important. You don’t need to be ashamed of liking someone. Have you confessed to her or is it unrequited love?’</p>
<p>Kageyama fidgeted in his seat. No matter what Miwa said, it was embarrassing and he definitely didn’t want to talk about it with her. But, then again, Miwa had extensive dating experience… Kageyama wondered if she could possibly provide him with some advice without him having to actually tell her what was going on.</p>
<p>‘We were kind of dating,’ he said, in a mumbling voice.</p>
<p>He saw Miwa’s face light up but was very thankful that she kept her mouth shut.</p>
<p>‘But it doesn’t matter anymore,’ he finished. ‘I have to go to Tokyo for the training camp and I’m supposed to get drafted to a youth team and finish high school somewhere outside of Miyagi.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, that's really unfortunate,’ said Miwa, sympathetically. ‘It’s too bad.’</p>
<p>‘I kind of thought about trying some long-distance things but I don’t know if he - if she’d want that. It’s not that serious.’</p>
<p>‘High school romances are great but they’re not really built to last,’ said Miwa, in a soothing voice. ‘There are so many fish in the sea, is she really worth worrying over now when you’re about to go on this life-changing training camp?’</p>
<p>‘Just because you dated a million guys in high school doesn’t mean we all want to,’ snapped Kageyama. ‘Some people are worth worrying over.’</p>
<p>‘Well, yeah, I know that.’ Miwa rolled her eyes. ‘But you’re so young! Trust me, when you’re my age, you’ll look back on your time in high school and won’t even remember her name but you’ll remember your time in Tokyo, I can guarantee that.’</p>
<p>Kageyama didn’t want to hear any more. Looking for advice from Miwa was a bad idea. She had a completely different approach to life and love than Kageyama did and he found her dismissal of Hinata oddly irritating. The urge to defend Hinata and their weird, more-than-friends relationship reared its head inside of him but he kept his mouth shut. Doubt gnawed at his resolve. Could she be right? Hinata was just one person against the hundreds of people that would help him shape his professional volleyball career in the years to come. Did he really matter as much as Kageyama thought he did? Perhaps, in ten years' time, he would look back on his life spent in Karasuno and wonder to himself, <em>what was that orange-haired boy’s name again?</em> Maybe he would be able to recall a shining smile and a general feeling of happiness but the name itself would escape him. Maybe Hinata was just another stepping stone he had to tread on the journey to the rest of his life.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>The days passed and still Kageyama did nothing. They had barely gone so long without more-than-friends contact since Tanabata Festival and the fact that Hinata was still avoiding him made Kageyama wonder if the decoy knew what was coming. On the last Saturday before he was to leave to Tokyo, Kageyama was forced to act. Once Coach Ukai announced that training was over, he knew it was time to shatter the careful distance that had been balanced between them and speak candidly with Hinata. They were getting changed in the clubroom with the rest of the team and Kageyama’s heart was thudding in his ears. Despite his heart rate, he felt resigned to what he was about to do. The team members started leaving and when Hinata turned to join them, Kageyama reached out and took hold of his wrist. Hinata looked round at him questioningly and Kageyama let go of him.</p>
<p>‘Can you just wait a second?’ he said, feeling embarrassment creep into his cheeks.</p>
<p>‘What's up, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes flicked to the door and he saw a flash of blond hair as the last of the team members left the clubroom, leaving Kageyama and Hinata alone.</p>
<p>‘I’m leaving on Monday,’ said Kageyama, looking back at Hinata.</p>
<p>For some reason, it hurt more than Kageyama expected to say it out loud. It sounded so final in his ears. The words were so heavy with implication that a weighted silence fell between them in which Hinata stared at him. For some reason, Kageyama felt like he couldn’t look Hinata in the eye. He couldn’t face the emotions written there.</p>
<p>‘Oh, is it on Monday already?’ said Hinata, with strained lightness. ‘Time really flies, huh?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ he said.</p>
<p>Hinata’s eyes were searching as they roved over Kageyama’s expressionless face as if attempting to find answers written there. Kageyama had committed to the choice he had made and he needed Hinata to see that, no matter how brutal it might be for the decoy. Kageyama had no other choice. He felt a tightness in his chest and he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t even know what he wanted to convey. Was he glad to be going? Did he regret leaving? Hinata’s brow knitted and he stood up straight to face Kageyama fully. Kageyama wanted nothing more than to get away from Hinata and not have the conversation they were heading into. He didn’t want to say what he had to say, he didn’t want to admit to Hinata that he had made up his mind. He knew that Hinata would be upset and he felt like his convictions would crumble if Hinata only so much as stared him down; but he had to. He had to break things off with Hinata once and for all. He didn’t have a choice.</p>
<p>‘Well — so — a-are you coming back?’ asked Hinata, and a hint of emotion lilted his voice.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ said Kageyama, truthfully. ‘It depends how things go in Tokyo. I’ll come back for Nationals but I don’t know for how long. They told me that if I get accepted to a pro-junior team, I’ll have to leave Miyagi.’</p>
<p>‘Wow,’ said Hinata. ‘Well, um, that’s really good for you, I guess.’</p>
<p>‘It doesn’t sound like you think it’s good,’ said Kageyama, with a frown.</p>
<p>‘Doesn’t it?’ said Hinata, quickly. ‘I <em>am</em> happy for you, even if it’s annoying that I didn’t get picked too. It just means it’ll be even more satisfying when I finally beat you.’</p>
<p>‘Well, I don’t know what's gonna happen in the future. All I know for sure is that I’m leaving.’</p>
<p>‘Okay…’</p>
<p>‘Listen, I know you’ve been avoiding me and acting weird,’ said Kageyama, flatly. ‘Are you really that jealous that I got chosen and you didn’t?’</p>
<p>‘I’m not jealous!’ grumbled Hinata. ‘I just think it’s a dumb choice.’</p>
<p>‘Okay, so you’re jealous.’</p>
<p>‘I said I’m not.’</p>
<p>‘You obviously are.’</p>
<p>‘I’m not! I just —’ Hinata stopped talking and his hands balled up into fists at his sides. ‘You’re leaving to this crazy cool camp for like three weeks and I have to stay here and it just sucks, okay?’</p>
<p>Hinata spoke to the floor in front of Kageyama’s feet and a shard of ice pierced Kageyama’s chest.</p>
<p>‘You’re right,’ he said, ‘it does suck.’</p>
<p>‘What’s gonna happen if you have to move?’ asked Hinata, peering up through his lashes at Kageyama.</p>
<p>The sweetness of his face made anger flare up in Kageyama’s chest. Couldn’t Hinata just stop being cute and let Kageyama get through this conversation? It was only getting harder the longer it went on.</p>
<p>‘Then, I have to move,’ said Kageyama, brusquely.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, but, what does that mean?’</p>
<p>‘It means I have to move, Hinata.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, but, what does that mean for y-you and for me? For us, I mean?’</p>
<p>Hinata wasn’t getting it. He wasn't understanding. Kageyama knew he had to be brutally honest no matter how much he hated the fact. He scowled.</p>
<p>‘For “us”?’ he said. ‘There is no “us”, Hinata. I’m going on ahead.’</p>
<p>Hinata’s face twisted in pain at Kageyama’s words.</p>
<p>‘So that’s it then?’ he said, his tone louder as his anger rose. ‘You’re just going to leave?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I am,’ said Kageyama, stubbornly.</p>
<p>He felt anger building inside him but it wasn’t directed at Hinata. He was angry at himself, and angry at the universe that he had been put in this situation. Why couldn’t Hinata accept the situation and let him go? Why was he putting up a fight? Didn’t he realise that this was a thousand times harder for Kageyama?</p>
<p>‘Are you even going to apologise?’ said Hinata, in disbelief.</p>
<p>‘What am I supposed to apologise for?!’</p>
<p>‘That you’re leaving, dammit!’ yelled Hinata. ‘All this time, it was your idea! You were the one always pushing, always doing more and going further and now you’re just going to throw it all away?! Say that you’re sorry!’</p>
<p>Kageyama looked daggers at Hinata, who had tears shining in his eyes. He had to finish it. He knew he could never move on with his professional life in Tokyo if Hinata was here in Karasuno holding him back.</p>
<p>‘You’re right, I <em>am</em> sorry,’ said Kageyama, and his voice was as cold as ice. ‘I’m sorry you love me.’</p>
<p>The traces of fury fell away from Hinata’s face and he stared at Kageyama as if the setter had hit him in the face. Kageyama turned his back on him and walked away. His heart was an empty, aching void in his chest. As soon as the words had left his mouth, he had regretted them; but it was too late. The damage had been done and he couldn’t go back on what he had said. He needed this. A clean break so that he could away from Karasuno and commit to his future. He didn’t need Hinata tying him down and stopping his commitment to volleyball. These were the thoughts that ran through Kageyama’s head as he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.</p>
<p>‘HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT TO ME?!’ Hinata roared after him, and the crack in his voice betrayed the pain behind the words. ‘After everything we’ve been through?! <em>Don’t walk away from me! Kageyama! KAGEYAMA!</em>’</p>
<p>But Kageyama slammed the clubroom door behind him and walked away. It was over. His heart was racing and his breath was fast and shallow. He went down the clubroom steps two at a time and broke into a run that took him across the campus and behind a block of classrooms where he hid himself into a corner in the shadow of the building and buried his face in his hands. <em>What have I done?</em> He twisted his fingers into his hair and clenched his fists. <em>What the hell have I done?!</em> He stepped forward, clenched his teeth, and smashed his forehead against the wall. He barely registered the pain but he felt an odd cold ache and a bead of blood trickle down into his eyebrow.</p>
<p>‘<em>Dammit!</em>’ he swore, through his teeth. <em>‘God dammit, God fucking dammit!</em>’</p>
<p>His balled-up fists were shaking. All the feelings he had for Hinata boiled into hatred in his chest, like the brightest of colours violently mixed into a sickly brown sludge, and he leaned his back against the wall. The look of hurt and betrayal on Hinata’s face was burned into his eyes like a blinding light and no matter how hard he squeezed his eyes shut, he couldn’t stop seeing it. Doubt weighed down upon his shoulders unlike anything he had ever felt before. This couldn’t be the right thing. There was no way that feeling this way, making Hinata look at him like that, shattering the decoy’s heart into a million tiny pieces was the right thing to do. But it was too late. Even if Kageyama wanted to, there was no way he could take back what he had said and done. Whatever path he chose to walk, he knew he would have to live with that clubroom conversation forever.</p>
<p>He slid down the wall to sit on the grass and a chill breeze rushed past his ears like a freight train. <em>Hinata, Hinata, Hinata…</em> He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. For a while, he sat there and time moved around him without him even noticing. Then, the pain in his forehead made itself known as the wound began to throb and his fingers started to feel rigid from the cold before he got up and made his way home. He sailed down the street as if in a dream, or was it a nightmare? The railway crossing, the vending machines, he didn’t even notice when people stared at his bloodied forehead. He unlocked his front door, floated up the stairs, collapsed into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.</p>
<p>When Kageyama woke up again, it was dark. The streetlamp outside his open curtain was the only source of light and it washed his face in a sickly pale glow. For a moment, he thought it was a school night and that he had to wake up early to meet Hinata in the gym but then the memories of the afternoon crashed over him like a bucket of freezing water. He jolted up in bed and switched the light on. His pillow was stained a reddish brown and he touched his forehead. A zap of pain shot through him and he got up to look in the mirror. There were a couple of deep grazes there and his left eyebrow was encrusted with dried blood. He tutted under his breath but, in his heart of hearts, he couldn’t help feeling like he deserved it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please, allow me to explain a little. Kageyama is an idiot, as I understand him, but idiocy isn’t the only thing that guided him to make the choice he made in this chapter. He is also a perfectionist, controlling to a fault, strong-willed and self-assured. He likes to believe that he has control over his own life and lashes out when he feels like he doesn’t. He is emotionally immature and acts mostly on logic or, when no logical conclusion can be deduced, on instinct (which we see mainly in the earlier chapters of this work). Above all others, he trusts himself. Kageyama has expressed earlier that he believes love to be the only thing, other than physical injury, that could pose a threat to a career in professional volleyball and therefore shunned the prospect; it was only when Hinata came along that he happened to fall in love somewhat by accident and without him being really conscious of the fact. In this chapter, Kageyama believes he is making the right choice to further his goal of playing professional volleyball. Yes, he is backed into a corner by circumstance, but he makes the choice himself because he still doesn’t fully understand the depth of his own feelings. We will see if he comes to understand that depth and if he is able to try and remedy the mistake he made, if mistake it was. Of course I won’t give away here how the story and characters progress but I hope you stick around and see if something good can come out of this interaction. Thank you again so much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, even if it was a bit of a dramatic one. Also, I'll try to upload the next chapter during the week next week so as to not leave you with this downer for too long. See you then! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Raining in Tokyo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the end, Kageyama committed himself to the choice that he had made. It was some small comfort knowing that breaking Hinata’s heart was actually worth something because he felt like he had to have something to show for it in the end to prove to himself that he hadn’t made a terrible mistake. If he sacrificed Hinata’s affection for nothing then Kageyama knew that nothing would be more disrespectful. If he squandered his opportunity, then the past six months with Hinata would boil down to nothing and Kageyama couldn’t handle that. Even after he had ended things, Hinata’s presence still shone in the back of Kageyama’s mind, spurring him on to push harder, to be better against all his adversaries. He packed his bags and left for Tokyo to embark upon the beginning of his life. He watched Karasuno slip past the train window and then said goodbye to Sendai and Miyagi prefecture. At least, he was grateful to be getting as far away as possible from Hinata now that things had ended between them. He felt like he wouldn’t be able to look Hinata in the eye again. Once he got settled in Tokyo and started playing volleyball with all those incredible players from other parts of the country, Hinata was sure to become an afterthought. Kageyama couldn’t possibly stay wrapped up in the memories of petty drama at Karasuno when the world of professional volleyball was opening up before him — at least that’s what he told himself in an attempt to ease the hollow feeling in his chest. He watched as scenery flicked past the train window until buildings started to rise up around him and the speaker announced their arrival at Tokyo Station. Following the instructions written out to him by Takeda-sensei and a map on his phone, Kageyama made his way to the training gymnasium. He was greeted at the door by a young man dressed in an expensive-looking tracksuit who gave Kageyama a key to his dormitory and pointed him in the direction of the accommodation building which was a stone’s throw from the gymnasium. Kageyama headed to the dorms and climbed the staircase inside. He checked the paperwork given to him by the tracksuit-clad man. He was staying in room number ten. <em>That’s Hinata’s jersey number</em>, said a vague voice in he back of his head. He shook his head. Not everything in his life had to relate in some way to Hinata. He watched the door numbers flick past until he found number ten. The names “Kageyama” and “Chigaya” were labelled under the number.</p><p>‘“Chigaya”,’ he read aloud to himself.</p><p>The name was unfamiliar. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. Thankfully, his roommate hadn’t arrived yet and he was able to settle in in peace. It was sparsely furnished and had a somewhat sterile feel to it. There was a mini fridge and microwave by the door, a small table with two chairs beside them and two low wooden beds at the back of the room, between which was a window that looked out towards the gym and other dormitories. At the foot of each bed was a storage closet. Kageyama dropped his bag on the floor and sat down on the left-hand bed. This was where he would be sleeping for the next three weeks. He lay back and stared at the white ceiling, feeling his back stretch out after sitting in the train for so long. Somehow, being away from Karasuno made the pain of his last conversation with Hinata ease somewhat. The physical distance made it feel so much further away, as if it had happened a year ago or in a movie he had recently watched. The ache in his chest when Hinata’s face swam in front of his mind, however, was a very real reminder that he couldn’t so easily escape what he had done. Only time would ease his mind and show him if he had made the right choice.</p><p>Kageyama got up and started unpacking some of his things. As he was putting his clothes into the storage closet, the door unlocked and a tall, black-haired boy entered. Kageyama stood up.</p><p>‘You must be Chigaya,’ he said.</p><p>‘Chigaya Eikichi,’ said the boy, closing the door behind him. ‘You’re Kageyama Tobio.’</p><p>Kageyama frowned.</p><p>‘Have we met?’</p><p>‘No, but I know of you,’ Chigaya smiled. ‘I’m from Shinzen High, we’re a member of the Fukurodani Group. I’ve heard all about your training camps with Fukurodani and Nekoma.’</p><p>‘Oh, right.’</p><p>‘I’m glad we can play together.’</p><p>‘Me too.’</p><p>Kageyama wasn’t particularly interested in chatting with Chigaya but they headed to the gymnasium together to meet the coaches and the rest of the players. They spent the day getting to know one another’s play styles in practice matches and warm-up games before eating in the the cafeteria and retiring for an evening of leisure. While the others ate, bathed and played games together, Kageyama showered quickly and went to his room. He was keen to have some time to himself before Chigaya would come back to sleep.</p><p>Kageyama sat on his bed and exhaled heavily. After a day of introductions, playing, and socialising in the cafeteria, the stillness and quiet of the room felt weighted. The only sounds he could hear were the muffled chatter from the room next door, the consistent drone of cars from the road nearby, and the sound of his own breathing. Now that he was alone, Kageyama realised that the whole day had been nothing but a distraction from the heavy ache in his chest that still throbbed since he left Karasuno. An uncharacteristic weariness stooped his shoulders and he was suddenly thankful that Chigaya hadn’t come back yet. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. Without thinking, he took out his phone and checked his notifications. There were no messages there. He opened his messaging app and scrolled to the chat he had with Hinata. There were so many simple messages that they had shared together that Kageyama felt furious at himself for not valuing at the time. He read the messages that they had exchanged when Hinata had gone to his house and short, logistical comments they made when organising when to meet up and where to go. Kageyama tended to write short and to-the-point messages whereas Hinata’s were smattered with emojis, animated stickers and exclamation marks. Before, Kageyama had found Hinata’s messaging style annoying but now he felt like he would give anything for Hinata to send him even something. He scrolled up until his thumb stopped and hovered over the screen. There was a photo there that made Kageyama pause. It was the picture from Tanabata Festival. In it, Hinata was holding the phone out with one hand and his other arm was draped around Kageyama’s shoulders. Their heads were leaned in and touching one another’s; the corner of Kageyama’s mouth was upturned and Hinata was grinning broadly. The picture struck an icy shard through Kageyama’s chest and he stared at it, feeling himself slipping deeper and deeper into a depressive hole. The smile on his own face in the picture made his stomach twist in agony. The Kageyama then had so much to hope for, so much to look forward to and yet he had so much still to lose. The slightest of smiles that he wore on his face in the picture showed a nervous willingness to let himself experience the joy he so desperately wanted. The boy in the photo would go on to have his first kiss with the boy beside him under a shower of fireworks. So much had yet to befall them that sitting there on the dormitory bed, Kageyama wanted nothing more than to go back to the moment in which the photo had been taken and relive the past months of his life. Hinata, lighting up the photo with his smile, couldn’t know the extent to which he would light up Kageyama’s life. His orange hair was aflame in the summer sun and brought out all the brighter by the blurred points of coloured cranes cascading in the background. He looked so happy and held Kageyama so closely and Kageyama put his head in his hand when he recalled the last words that had been shouted between them in the clubroom. The memory of the last time Kageyama had seen Hinata’s face flashed across his mind and Kageyama closed his phone and fell back onto the bed. He hated it. He hated everything that had happened, the fight that they had had and the words that he had said; but most of all, in that moment, Kageyama hated himself.</p><p>* * *</p><p>It soon became apparent that the passing of time would do little to ease the loss of Hinata from Kageyama’s life. The wound on his forehead from where he had smashed it into the school wall healed and yet the ache in his chest gradually grew as if the pain was only transferring internally. Every day, he gave his all to training and revelled in the game but as soon as his mind was free to wander, the memories he longed to forget returned with a vengeance to the fore of his mind. Days turned into weeks and Kageyama continued to wonder if he had done the right thing. Often he lay awake at night listening to the sound of his roommate breathing across the room from him and allowed himself to get lost in memories of the time he had spent with Hinata. After spending the whole day focussed on volleyball, it felt like a masochistic luxury to indulge in memories that had once been so good and now left a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes, he would open his phone and think about writing a message before locking the screen and burying his face in the pillow. It was all so stupid and hateful but he couldn’t help it. He wondered what Hinata was doing in that moment and what had happened since he left. More than anything, Kageyama felt lonely. He had a lot of acquaintances but not many people he could really call friends. Spending hours training every day and hanging out with Hinata afterwards had been all the social interaction he ever needed. Now that the dynamic he shared with Hinata was gone, the loss felt palpable. More than once, he considered sending a message to Sugawara or even Ennoshita just to ask how things were going back in Karasuno but he stopped himself every time. It wouldn’t have surprised him in the slightest if Hinata had talked about their fight with Sugawara and Kageyama definitely didn’t want Hinata to know that he was messaging their teammates for news about what was going on back at home. At one point after a particularly rough day, Kageyama even thought about contacting his older sister but he knew that he was just feeling desperate for any kind of advice. The conversation he had had with her before he left had definitely been counterproductive and had made it clear that she could never understand how important Hinata was in his life.</p><p>When Kageyama walked across the grounds from the dormitories to the gymnasium with Chigaya and the other boys, cold November air pricked at his cheeks and the tops of his ears. The greyness of the buildings, the noise of traffic and the oppression of the low-hanging clouds… Everything was in stark contrast to the warmth and brightness of his summer months with Hinata. It was as if the world had been flipped upside-down and playing volleyball was the only constant. Perhaps it was for this reason that Kageyama poured his heart and soul into every day of practice. He was often the first to arrive and the last to leave and he practiced alone in the evenings while the others enjoyed their leisure time. When he couldn’t play, he went jogging and soon had a map in his mind of the network of streets surrounding the gymnasium. Even still, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, the pain that radiated from the Hinata-shaped hole in his heart didn’t let up and despite there being some solace to be found in training and practice matches, Kageyama couldn’t help feeling Hinata’s absence on the court as well. There were so many incredibly skilled players there with him that he felt like he could play to the best of his ability but he instinctively set zero tempo tosses to the air behind him too many times. Every time his body moved that way, an iron fist clenched over his heart. Muscle memory continued to haunt him.</p><p>On one evening when it was raining and he was forced to stay indoors, an unexpected opportunity for advice presented itself to Kageyama. He was sitting in the recreation room scrolling absently through social media when a particular post caught his eye. He flicked past some selfies of his aunt at a mall and a picture of his classmate’s dog but then Kageyama stopped scrolling and stared. There was a picture of Oikawa clearly trying to look attractive in front of a sign for Tokyo Station. What was Oikawa doing in Tokyo? In a fit of desperation, Kageyama immediately opened his messaging app.</p><p>
  <em>Heard you’re in Tokyo. Meet for coffee? - 17.57</em>
</p><p>He wrote out the message and pressed send before he could change his mind. Oikawa had once been his senpai and was a notorious serial-dater. He pretty much always had a girlfriend at any one time and had way more relationship experience than Kageyama did. Also, Oikawa was aware of his more-than-friends relationship with Hinata and could possibly give him some advice as to what he could do to improve his situation. It was an opportunity borne of desperation that Kageyama couldn’t miss.</p><p>
  <em>Seriously? - 18.01</em>
</p><p>Kageyama’s brow furrowed at Oikawa's reply. Surely it wasn’t so uncharacteristic of him to invite someone to coffee? He supposed it was but this wasn’t a normal circumstance. He was backed into a corner by his own whirring brain so he typed out a message without giving himself time to regret it.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, I didn’t see you after the prelims. I’ll buy - 18.02</em>
</p><p>Oikawa replied with a couple of thinking emojis before agreeing and they organised logistics to meet up. Kageyama’s heart was racing. Even just the prospect of seeing someone from Miyagi, let along a mutual acquaintance of his and Hinata’s, send his heart into overdrive. Thoughts and memories flooded into his head and he got to his feet, feeling suddenly wired. He pulled his jacket on, hurried down the stairs and tugged on his hood before stepping out into the drizzling night. Red and white car lights flashed past in the rain as he crossed the street and strode down to the train station. The café at which they had agreed to meet was stupidly far for Kageyama but he had consented without protest. He needed to talk to someone, anyone, and the fact that it was Oikawa only made him all the more eager. Perhaps Oikawa had heard news of Karasuno or had seen Hinata in a shop or something. Maybe they had even had a practice match while Kageyama had been away. In any case, for the first time since he had left Karasuno, Kageyama felt a desperate drive to do something that wasn’t related to volleyball.</p><p>He arrived at the café first and ordered a cup of tea. While he waited, he pushed his damp fringe out of his eyes and tried to compose himself. It was just Oikawa. They were just going to chat. There was nothing to get worked up about. But when the café door opened and the boy himself entered, pushing his glasses up his nose and closing an umbrella behind him, Kageyama’s hands clenched into fists atop his knees.</p><p>‘Hi, Tobio-chan!’ said Oikawa, with a sickly sweet smile.</p><p>‘Oikawa-san,’ said Kageyama, standing up hurriedly out of politeness and whacking the table with the tops of his thighs.</p><p>Oikawa raised an eyebrow and unbuttoned his coat as Kageyama sat down again, his face burning.</p><p>‘I must say I was surprised to get your message,’ said the older boy, as he hung his coat over the back of his chair. ‘How did you know I was in the city?’</p><p>‘I saw your picture on social media.’</p><p>‘Oh. I didn’t think you used social media. You seem like the type to think that sort of thing is beneath you.’</p><p>‘I browse sometimes.’</p><p>Oikawa sat down and tilted his head slightly to one side. He was dressed in a bottle green turtle neck and his hair was carefully styled to look as if he hadn’t gone to the effort of styling it.</p><p>‘You seem weird,’ he said, and his eyes narrowed with suspicion. ‘I thought you were going to gloat about beating us in the prelims.’</p><p>‘I wouldn’t do that,’ said Kageyama, truthfully. ‘Oikawa-san, I-I messed up.’</p><p>‘What are you talking about? You played just fine.’</p><p>‘No, I —’ Kageyama paused, his brow furrowed. ‘In a… personal relationship. I think I’ve made a mistake and I asked you here for advice, if you’d hear me out.’</p><p>‘Oh?’ Oikawa raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘How so?’</p><p>‘I —’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where to start. Oikawa had guessed at the more-than-friends nature of his and Hinata’s relationship months ago — he had been one of the first to deduce the fact — and yet Kageyama had never spoken with him about it openly before. But, Oikawa was his senpai and he had offered him a lot of advice during their time together at Kitagawa Daiichi. Indeed, he had once been a person that Kageyama felt he could turn to in times of difficulty even though it had been a long time since he had had such a relationship with the player that he now called his opponent. Even so, sitting there with his fists clenched, Kageyama was totally lost and in desperate need for guidance.</p><p>‘I finished things with Hinata,’ he said, and the words were like knives in his throat. ‘I hurt him, before I left.’</p><p>‘Hmm.’ Oikawa made a vague noise somewhere between sympathy and curiosity. ‘And you were always so cute together. How long had you been sleeping together? A month?’</p><p>Kageyama’s jaw dropped.</p><p>‘H-How did you —?’</p><p>‘Please,’ sneered Oikawa. ‘I noticed as soon as we were halfway through the first set. It’s why I didn’t hang around to chat after the game was over; I didn’t need to hear how happy you were with the Chibi-chan on top of our defeat. I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell when you’re getting laid.’</p><p>‘Don’t say it like that,’ groaned Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, he mustn’t have been very good if you ditched him.’</p><p>‘It wasn’t because of —!’ Kageyama stopped talking before he gave too much away. ‘I got invited to a training camp here in the city and I thought that I couldn’t keep going with him so I ended it.’</p><p>Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but stopped as the waitress approached. He ordered a cappuccino with a smile and turned back to Kageyama.</p><p>‘Does it just make you sad or do you actually regret it?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Regret it?’ repeated Kageyama, with a frown.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Oikawa. ‘I mean, If you could take it back, would you?’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t answer for a moment as he thought about what Oikawa was asking. His first reaction was that, yes, it made him very sad. It was the reason he hadn’t had a good night's sleep in more than a fortnight and hated every moment he wasn’t playing volleyball; but did he actually regret it? If he could go back in time and take back everything he had said to Hinata, would he do it?</p><p>‘I thought I was doing the right thing at the time,’ he said, finally, keeping his eyes on the table. ‘But now, I’m not so sure. I thought I had to leave him to focus on what I’m doing here but I can’t help feeling like I made a mistake. I think about him every day. I can’t really focus on anything. Everything reminds me of him. All I want to do is go back to before the prelims when we spent time together like normal. It’s driving me crazy.’</p><p>‘I didn’t realise you were so into him,’ Oikawa sniffed.</p><p>‘You’re not jealous?’ asked Kageyama, in flat disbelief.</p><p>‘You’re a passionate person, Tobio! Anyone would be thrilled to have you fall in love with them, not just me. And I’m not jealous of the Chibi-chan. If anything, I’m kind of impressed; though I don’t see it. You could do better.’</p><p>‘Whatever.’</p><p>Kageyama rested his chin in his hand and sighed heavily.</p><p>‘Look,’ said Oikawa, patiently. ‘If it’s really messing with you so badly then why are you even asking me? You know you need to make up with him.’</p><p>‘I know!’ snapped Kageyama, before quickly correcting his tone. ‘I just — I don’t know what to say to him. He probably hates me.’</p><p>‘He’s a simple kid with simple principles, you’ll be able to get through to him eventually,’ said Oikawa, with a wave of his hand. ‘I think any real apology from you would win him over. Ooh, don’t forget to bow to him! I love it when you do that.’</p><p>‘<em>Tsk</em>.’</p><p>Their conversation was interrupted for a moment as the waitress brought Oikawa his coffee with a smile that was a little too genuine. Oikawa thanked her with a glance before turning his attention back to Kageyama.</p><p>‘Have you spoken to him since you left?’ asked Oikawa.</p><p>‘No,’ said Kageyama. ‘I’ve wanted to but I just can’t bring myself to reach out.’</p><p>He paused and the painful memory of himself lying awake at night staring at Hinata's contact in his phone flashed through his mind.</p><p>‘The first week was the hardest,’ he continued, lowly. ‘We spent so much time together that as soon as I stopped seeing him, it was so obvious. All those evenings we spent just the two of us… I didn’t even realise I was making memories that would end up being so important to me. I thought I was just living day by day. I was so stupid.’</p><p>‘Yeah, well, you were always stupid about everything that isn’t volleyball,’ said Oikawa, sipping his coffee idly. ‘Even though you make up for that by being a genius at the sport. There’s no point in denying it.’</p><p>‘I should have asked you for advice ages ago,’ said Kageyama, more to himself than to Oikawa.</p><p>‘Yeah, you should have! I, too, have loved and lost, I could have guided my dear underclassman through the tribulations of teenage romance to avoid a situation such as this.’</p><p>‘But, it’s still a problem,’ said Kageyama. ‘If I get accepted to a youth team, I’ll have to move out of Miyagi after Nationals. I’ll have to study at a new high school and even if I get back together with Hinata, where would that take us? He would stay in Karasuno and I’d live somewhere else so we’d never be able to see each other. Would it even be worth it?’</p><p>‘I’m afraid I can’t answer that,’ said Oikawa, evenly. ‘Only you can decide if you think the Chibi-chan is worth travelling to and waiting for.’</p><p>‘I don’t know.’ Kageyama shook his head. ‘I just don’t know. We have to play together after I get back anyway. How can I play with him? He probably won’t even want to look at me. I <em>knew</em> this would happen! I knew that getting involved with him would ruin our ability to play together one way or another but I did it anyway and now I’m in this situation! God dammit!’</p><p>‘Keep your voice down!’ hissed Oikawa, his eyes darting around to the nearby tables. ‘Look, the choices that you had before you broke up were what? Either stay with him and have your career possibly suffer, or break up with him and give your all to the sport. Right?’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ muttered Kageyama, sullenly.</p><p>‘And you tried the latter, and how has it worked out for you so far?’</p><p>Oikawa sipped his coffee pointedly and Kageyama scowled. It obviously hadn’t worked out at all. If anything, ending things with Hinata had negatively impacted his ability to devote himself to a professional career in volleyball because he was still so wrapped up in the past. Oikawa understood Kageyama’s silence.</p><p>‘Really, your only alternative is to try the first option instead,’ he said. ‘Although, you’re being rather presumptuous, don’t you think? The Chibi-chan might not want you back anyway, especially if you were ungracious about it all.’</p><p>The memory of their clubroom argument flashed through Kageyama’s mind like neural pain. He heard his own voice in his ears. <em>“I’m sorry you love me.”</em></p><p>‘He won’t forgive me,’ said Kageyama, and his tone was hollow.</p><p>‘Cut the kid some slack,’ said Oikawa, waving his hand lightly again. ‘I told you, he’s not that deep even if he is smarter than you think he is.’</p><p>‘He’s an idiot.’</p><p>‘He figured you out, didn’t he?’ reasoned Oikawa. ‘Did you ever think about things from his perspective? How did he feel about you? What did he want? What was he thinking when you spent time together?’</p><p>Kageyama’s mind was blank and it only made him more angry at himself. Oikawa’s questions did nothing but drive home just how self-centred and idiotic he had been. Hinata, who was as light as the sun and asked nothing from anyone, had never been treated as a proper equal. He had been there when Kageyama wanted and tossed aside when Kageyama didn’t need him anymore. Kageyama had never asked what he wanted. He had never had the courage to speak up or the sense to think of Hinata's feelings.</p><p>‘If you really apologise to him, he'll probably come around eventually,’ said Oikawa, with a shrug. ‘I don’t know what you said to him when you ended things but the kid worshipped you.’</p><p>‘No, he didn’t,’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p><p>‘Yeah, he did. You’re just blind to everyone around you because you only care about volleyball. Well, volleyball and the Chibi-chan, apparently.’</p><p>‘Stop sounding jealous when you say that, it’s weird.’</p><p>‘Well, he <em>did</em> worship you,’ said Oikawa, ignoring Kageyama's last remark. ‘Getting singled out by you was probably the greatest thing to ever happen to him. You’ve just got to show him proper respect.’</p><p>‘Respect,’ repeated Kageyama, to himself.</p><p>It was as if a puzzle piece fit into his mind and hope flared into his chest. Of course, <em>respect</em>. That was what had been missing before. If he showed Hinata that he truly respected him as an equal, both on the court and off it, perhaps Hinata would realise that that he had seen the error of his ways.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Oikawa. ‘I mean, did you ever treat him like your equal? You are domineering to a fault, after all, and your head is so big I’m surprised you could fit in through the doorway. Remember Kitagawa Daiichi?’</p><p>‘Like I would ever forget,’ muttered Kageyama.</p><p>‘I seem to remember warning you about it before, didn’t you take my advice?!’</p><p>‘You can’t be mad that I didn’t listen to advice I didn’t ask for at the time,’ said Kageyama, stubbornly. ‘But I’m glad that we had this conversation. My mind is… clearer now.’</p><p>‘No problem,’ said Oikawa, sounding mildly surprised. ‘Oh, and if you get back with Hinata and it messes up your chances at playing your best, I’ll never forgive either of you.’</p><p>‘That won’t happen,’ said Kageyama, firmly. ‘You were right, breaking things off with him was the wrong move. I’m strongest when I’m with him. He doesn’t hold me back, he lifts me up; and with me, he can jump higher. I know that now. Thank you.’ </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Bridging the Gap</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last days of the training camp felt like they moved in slow motion now that Kageyama had a plan of action in his mind. He knew that he had to try and make up with Hinata. He would at least humble himself to apologise and see how Hinata responded. On the final day of the camp, Kageyama was called into a meeting room by Coach Hitaki during their lunch break.</p><p>‘Kageyama, four team coaches have gotten in contact with me about recruiting you,’ the coach told him, with a proud smile.</p><p>Kageyama’s shoulders straightened. Excitement mixed with anxiety battled in his chest and sent his heart into overdrive. He had expected a least one team to show interest but four?</p><p>‘That’s good,’ he said, stiffly. ‘Which ones?’</p><p>‘Two are in the Tokyo area, Fuchu and Ageo which is in Saitama prefecture; a third is in Sapporo and the fourth is in Oita. You can decide if you want to join one of them and which one, but I’d personally recommend the team from Oita. They have an excellent roster this year and the men’s team play in the V League. If it works out to be a good fit for you, it could give you the opportunity to play for them professionally after a couple of years.’</p><p>‘Oita? That’s — that’s in Kyushu, right?’</p><p>‘Far from Miyagi,’ conceded Coach Hitaki, realising Kageyama’s thoughts. ‘I understand that it’s hard to think about moving so far from home but it’s time for you to think seriously about your future, Kageyama-kun. I, and many of my peers, believe that you have a bright future of professional volleyball ahead of you — a future that will burn the brighter if you act now. If Oita is too far, then consider Ageo City. They, too, have some of the best players in the country and Coach Koizumi is a personal friend of mine. I think he’d be a beneficial coach for you at this early stage of your career if Saitama is a distance that’s more manageable for you. Take some time to think about it. I’ll forward the information about the teams to your teacher at Karasuno High but don’t take too long deciding, okay? Good luck at Nationals.’</p><p>‘Thank you, Coach,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He left the meeting room to join the others in the cafeteria and pushed the conversation that he had just left out of his mind. He couldn’t think about it right now. Oita, Ageo, it could be a team from Australia that had requested him and it wouldn’t change his mind about Hinata. He had committed himself to his conviction now that Oikawa had helped him to figure out what to do. It would be up to Hinata to decide whether they could ever have a future together.</p><p>They finished up, thanked the coaches and each other, and Kageyama left for the train station. It was time to go home. The past three weeks had felt like the longest of his life and, despite how beneficial the experience had been, he was relieved to be returning to Karasuno even if it would only be for a little while. By the time he stepped out onto Karasuno railway station and saw his father waiting for him with a smile, he couldn’t help smiling himself with a curious sense of relief.</p><p>‘How did it go, Tobio?’ asked his dad. ‘Did you win all your games?’</p><p>‘It was just a training camp, not real games. It was fine.’ He paused for a moment. ‘It’s good to be back.’</p><p>On Monday, Kageyama went to school. Everywhere he walked, he kept looking subtly around himself for a tell-tale flash or orange but nothing caught his eye. A part of him couldn’t help wondering if Hinata would come to find him during lunch but he knew in the bottom of his heart that there was no way the decoy really would. If anything, Hinata would surely be avoiding him. Because of this train of thought, his head snapped up in surprise when his classmate called out to him.</p><p>‘Hey, Kageyama, there’s someone here for you!’</p><p>But it wasn’t Hinata. It was Sugawara. Kageyama got to his feet and walked over to the doorway where a smiling Sugawara was awaiting him.</p><p>‘Good to see you, Kageyama!’ said the third-year, slapping him on the shoulder.</p><p>‘You too, Sugawara-san.’</p><p>‘How was Tokyo? Did you show those city boys what we country folks can do?’</p><p>‘It was fine,’ said Kageyama. He waited for Sugawara to give an explanation as to why he had sought Kageyama out but when he didn’t say anything, Kageyama spoke up awkwardly. ‘Did — did you come here just to ask me about Tokyo or —?’</p><p>The smile on Sugawara’s face left his eyes and he waved his hand out towards the hallway.</p><p>‘Do you want to join me for a short walk?’ he asked. ‘My legs are killing me from sitting in a chair all morning.’</p><p>‘Sure,’ said Kageyama, feeling like the offer was a poorly-cast veil over something the third-year wanted to discuss with him in private.</p><p>They walked down the corridor, chatting superficially about Kageyama’s experience in Tokyo, and went out to the yard beyond. It was a cold, grey day with a pinch in the air that suggested impending snowfall. Sugawara looked up at the sky and Kageyama waited for his senpai to voice the reason why he had brought the setter out of his classroom.</p><p>‘How were things here while I was away?’ asked Kageyama, feeling oddly ominous.</p><p>‘It was bad,’ said Sugawara, darkly, and he looked at Kageyama. ‘You left… and Hinata disappeared.’</p><p>‘Disappeared?’ said Kageyama, his brow furrowing. ‘What do you mean?’</p><p>‘He just stopped coming to practice. We didn’t know what had happened to him but we heard later that he was training at Ukai Senior’s place in Torono. I guess Coach Ukai had been informed by his grandfather because he never asked us anything about it. We even had a practice match against Wakutani South without him.’</p><p>‘Hinata didn’t play?’ asked Kageyama, in shock.</p><p>‘Nope,’ said Sugawara. ‘We saw him around at school and he seemed completely normal but the fact that he wasn’t coming to practice made it obvious that something was up. I knew it had something to do with you.’ Sugawara flashed a furtive glance to Kageyama’s face and away again. ‘It was too much of a coincidence that you left to Tokyo and Hinata stopped showing up at the same time. After around a fortnight, Hinata came to talk to me.’ </p><p>That wasn’t entirely surprising. Hinata had once turned to Sugawara for advice concerning Kageyama and the nature of their relationship; Kageyama already expected that the third-year knew about their situation from the decoy. Even still, the knowledge that Sugawara was aware of what had transpired between them, and most likely he was also aware of what Kageyama had said to Hinata when he broke things off, made Kageyama’s cheeks flush with shame.</p><p>‘He told me that you had ended things with him,’ Sugawara went on, delicately. ‘Kageyama, he was devastated. I’ve never seen him so sad. It was especially awful considering how cheerful he normally is! He didn’t get into the details but told me he was hurting and I tried to give him some support as best I could. Eventually, he came back to training and no one really spoke about it. We just went on like nothing had happened. We figured it was best if we didn’t mention it.’</p><p>Kageyama had known that Hinata wouldn’t take a break-up well and it had been hard on himself as well but even still, Kageyama’s heart felt like a gaping hole at the thought of just how badly he had hurt the decoy. The thought of Hinata being unable to train with the others or even go to practice made an icy shard of shame and guilt pierce through him.</p><p>‘But, Kageyama.’ Sugawara’s face hardened and his eyes showed a hint of hostility that Kageyama had never seen there before. ‘What exactly are you planning to do here with Hinata? He won’t be able to handle much more from you and I don’t think you should see him outside of school if you’re just going to leave again. Think about how your actions affect him and the team as well. We’re going to Nationals in a little over a month’s time and we won’t stand a chance if you and Hinata aren’t able to play together.’</p><p>‘I know,’ said Kageyama, and he could hear the regret in his own voice. ‘I’m going to put things right. I… made a mistake, that’s obvious to me now. I don’t know if Hinata could ever forgive me but I’ve got to at least apologise. I’ll keep my distance, don’t worry. The team comes first.’</p><p>‘Hinata comes first,’ Sugawara corrected. ‘But doing what's best for Hinata is the same as doing what’s best for the team, so it’s moot.’ Then, the hostility faded from Sugawara’s eyes. ‘I know you can make this right. Hinata's not the type to hold a grudge as long as you treat him well. We’re glad you’re back, Kageyama. Let’s get ready to win at Nationals.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded firmly and Sugawara clapped him on the shoulder before walking away. Once he was alone, Kageyama exhaled and leaned against the low wall that was behind him. When defending the people he cared about, Sugawara could be unexpectedly intimidating.</p><p>Kageyama went back to his classroom and felt mounting anxiety as the end of classes approached. Once the final bell rang, he would go out to the clubroom and see Hinata in person. There was no avoiding it. No matter how badly Hinata might not want to see him, they had to practice together. Even if the decoy didn’t want to talk, even if he ignored Kageyama or was openly hostile to him, Kageyama would be able to see him. Even just being in the same room as him would be enough to take the edge off the regret in Kageyama’s heart. The final bell rang and Kageyama jumped to his feet. Before he could leave, however, the teacher waved them down and continued talking about their homework assignment. Some students asked questions and the time dragged on until the class was dismissed fifteen minutes late. Kageyama all but ran out of the classroom, down the hallway and out towards the gym. His heart was thundering in his ears. Despite the cold, his hands felt sticky with sweat. He started climbing the stairs to the clubroom until he suddenly found his way blocked. He looked up and his breath caught in his chest. Hinata was standing there at the top of the stairs, staring down at him in mild surprise. Despite all the mental preparation that Kageyama had made in anticipation of this moment, nothing could have prepared him for seeing Hinata in person. The past few weeks of sleepless nights, agonising over the past and staring at his phone in the dark when he couldn’t sleep flashed through Kageyama’s mind. He had recalled Hinata’s face and the time they spent together so many times that the memories had felt fabricated and yet here Hinata was, staring down at Kageyama with those eyes that he knew so well. How could he ever have forgotten? Of course Hinata looked like that. Kageyama felt so stupid now for thinking it could ever have escaped him. Kageyama’s eyes drank in the sight of Hinata standing before him and Hinata looked back at him with an oddly impassive expression.</p><p>‘Yo,’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘H-Hi,’ stammered Kageyama.</p><p>A chill breeze ruffled Hinata’s hair and he started walking down the stairs. Kageyama stepped aside to let him pass. The decoy didn’t look twice at Kageyama and passed in a flurry of cotton and tatami. The icy fist around Kageyama’s heart squeezed tighter with every one of Hinata’s steps that took him further away. He had passed by so close and yet the distance of the gesture was a thousand miles. So, this was how it would be. Kageyama couldn’t be surprised. He was thankful that Hinata would even talk to him considering everything that had happened but there would be nothing close to a happy reunion. He was going to have to work to try and repair the damage that he had done.</p><p>He changed into his sportswear before heading out to join the rest of the team in the gym. His teammates greeted him much more warmly and probed him with questions about his time in Tokyo. Ukai, too, expressed relief that Kageyama was finally back and they could start properly training for Nationals which was to be held in less than two months’ time.</p><p>‘For a warm-up, let’s have a practice match,’ said Coach Ukai, with his arms crossed over his chest. ‘It's been a while since we’ve all been here together so let’s try to get back into the swing of things. Let’s have, uh, Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Tsukishima, Narita and Kinoshita on one side, and Asahi, Nishinoya, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Hinata and Kageyama on the other.’</p><p>He listed off the names as if by random but a part of Kageyama wondered if Ukai had assigned he and Hinata to the same side on purpose. Kageyama’s eyes flashed to Hinata's face but the decoy was too busy laughing at something Tanaka said to notice. Darkness settled on Kageyama’s face. Distance was to be expected. He just had to wait for the right opportunity to try and get Hinata alone so that he could talk to him one-on-one.</p><p>They took up their positions and Daichi served. Even though Karasuno volleyball team was much more haphazard and rough around the edges than the players at the All-Japan training camp, Kageyama was glad to play with them again and fell quickly back into the rhythm of his old teammates. <em>A toss to Asahi, high and a little away from the net</em>, Kageyama set with pin-point precision and Asahi smacked the ball into the opposing side.</p><p>‘Nice toss, Kageyama,’ said Asahi, with a grin. ‘Perfect as always.’</p><p>Kageyama nodded firmly while Nishinoya clapped Asahi on the shoulder in appreciation. In the corner of Kageyama’s eye, Hinata’s orange hair glowed like a flame and Kageyama realised that more than anything, he had missed playing volleyball alongside him. When they were on the court together, everything felt right and Kageyama’s world made sense. The concepts of Hinata as a person and volleyball as a sport went inherently hand-in-hand in Kageyama’s mind and the thought of Hinata not coming to practice sent a spike of guilt through his heart. This was where they belonged: side-by-side, playing volleyball together.</p><p>Ennoshita received the ball and Kageyama positioned himself. Almost as if by pure instinct, he was aware of Hinata springing into action somewhere behind him and breaking into a sprint towards the net. No matter how wide the distance had been between them, and indeed still was, Hinata was running forward now to meet him as Kageyama sent the ball back behind him to close the gap. <em>Sma-smack!</em> Kageyama didn’t need to see to know that they had connected. He breathed a sigh of relief. Coach Ukai blew his whistle and Yachi flipped over another plastic number.</p><p>‘Phew, that's what we’ve been missing!’ said Nishinoya, gleefully.</p><p>‘I can’t even be mad,’ said Daichi, from the other side of the net. ‘That god-like quick is a thing of beauty.’</p><p>‘It's annoying when it’s used against you,’ drawled Tsukishima.</p><p>But Kageyama only had eyes for Hinata. The decoy was staring at his palm in vague wonderment as redness slowly bloomed there from the impact. His eyes flicked up to meet Kageyama’s for a fraction of a second before Yamaguchi bounced the ball behind them in preparation to serve.</p><p>Throughout training, Kageyama tried desperately to communicate with Hinata through volleyball. He tossed with extra care to where he knew Hinata would be until Asahi pointed out that there were other spikers on his side of the court, not just Hinata. The opposing side side won but the game was very close. They listened as Ukai gave constructive criticism before heading up to the clubroom to change. Kageyama could see an opportunity unfolding before him. He would wait until everyone else had left and then corner Hinata and apologise to him. Then, everything would be right between them. Hinata, however, seemed to be in a hurry and changed back into his school uniform much faster than the others. He called out a hasty goodbye and left the clubroom, bag and scarf still in hand. Kageyama tugged his jumper on over his head and followed Hinata out, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he did so. Hinata was already at the bottom of the stairs and Kageyama ran down, taking the stairs two at a time, before stumbling to the bottom.</p><p>‘Oi, Hinata!’ he called, and the decoy stopped in his tracks.</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>Hinata was wrapping his scarf around his neck and seemed to be intentionally avoiding Kageyama’s eye. Kageyama ignored the heat rising in his cheeks and squared his shoulders.</p><p>‘Can we talk?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Um, I have plans so I don’t really have time right now,’ said Hinata, tying his scarf up awkwardly.</p><p>‘What about after? I can meet you somewhere, or come to your house.’</p><p>‘I’ll be busy kind of late, today isn't really a good day.’</p><p>‘What about tomorrow?’ said Kageyama. ‘Or later in the week?’</p><p>‘Look, I don’t really want to talk to you, okay?’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes met Kageyama’s and there was a hardness there that was like a punch to the gut. The coldness and distance only served to reinforce just how much Kageyama had taken the decoy for granted in the past. Before, Hinata had always been there to agree with whatever Kageyama wanted. Sure, they had argued and had petty fights and rivalries, but Hinata had always been someone that Kageyama could rely on. He had always been there whenever Kageyama needed, always stayed back to train or gone over to his house after school whenever he wanted. Now, however, when Kageyama looked at Hinata, all he could see was a guarded wall.</p><p>Kageyama bit his teeth together and hung his head.</p><p>‘Okay,’ he conceded. ‘Just… I want to talk to you. I’ll wait for however long it takes, I’ll wait forever if I have to for you to want to talk to me back. But, Hinata; whenever you’re ready, if you ever are, I-I’ll be here, got it?’</p><p>Hinata stared at him and Kageyama wasn’t sure if something softened behind the decoy’s eyes or if he just saw what he wanted to see. Hinata hitched his bag up his shoulder and glanced back at the setter.</p><p>‘See you, Kageyama,’ he said.</p><p>Kageyama’s heart swelled with a mixture of pain and relief. The sight of Hinata walking away from him, his orange hair shot with gold from the few rays of setting sun that reached desperately through the heavy cloud cover, was so familiar to him that it was like a breath of fresh air. He wasn’t sure if Hinata hated him. If he was honest with himself, Kageyama wouldn’t be surprised if he did. But he was here and that was what mattered. They were breathing the same air and speaking face-to-face and Kageyama could have laughed aloud at how relieved he felt. It was as if the stars had aligned and irrevocable peace descended on the earth. Even if Hinata looked at him with disdain or spoke to him shortly, it was worth it just to be near him. Kageyama knew that he just had to exercise patience and wait for Hinata to come to him. If he pushed even the slightest bit, he would ruin any sliver of a chance that he might have. He had to be careful but he would wait. If it took weeks or months or a thousand years, he would wait for Hinata.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Daily practice resumed as usual and Kageyama quickly fell into a regular routine of classes, training and homework. It was the same routine he had kept up during summer except that both Hinata and the sun were lacking. After a meeting with Takeda-sensei, Kageyama accepted the placement to Ageo City Men’s Volleyball Club Youth Division in Saitama prefecture and the days grew steadily colder as November wore on. Hinata himself showed no sign of warmth towards Kageyama but Kageyama’s conviction never wavered. He had committed himself to showing Hinata that he was able to be respectful and conscientious despite how selfish he had been in the past. He had been prepared to accept the consequences of his actions and he lay voluntarily in the bed he had made for himself. On his walks to school, Kageyama noticed that the sunlight had lost its lustre and merely weak shards of light were able to reach him through the clouds though they provided no warmth. The first snow fell on the last day of November.</p><p>There were brief moments of humanity that Kageyama clung to, like when Hinata called out encouragement to him during a serve or laughed at something he said, but they were always fleeting and the blaze of encouragement that flared in Kageyama’s chest at acknowledgement from Hinata never lasted. Kageyama also couldn’t help but notice the decoy’s closeness with the other members of the team. It was as if the team had been wordlessly divided and everyone but Kageyama was on the same wavelength. The setter often felt like he was standing outside a window looking in at the rest of his teammates talking and laughing together, and Hinata was at the centre of it all. They had chosen to support him in Kageyama’s absence and now there was no room for Kageyama himself in Hinata's life anymore. The thought depressed him endlessly and yet he squared his shoulders in the face of adversity. He had nothing more to lose.</p><p>On one Friday, Kageyama’s sister was visiting town so Kageyama elected to stay late in the gym practicing after the rest of the team left. He had no desire to see his sister as he was almost positive that she would bring up the conversation they had had before he left to Tokyo and he didn’t want to talk about it. He tossed the ball into the air above himself, wondering vaguely what skill he should work on, when a voice broke his musing.</p><p>‘What are you doing?’</p><p>Kageyama caught the ball in his hands and looked around. Hinata was staring at him with his head cocked slightly to one side. The rest of the gym was empty except for the orange-haired decoy who was closing the gym door behind him having just returned from the clubroom.</p><p>‘Practicing,’ said Kageyama, shortly.</p><p>Hinata was holding his own ball against his hip and realisation clicked in Kageyama’s mind.</p><p>‘I can leave if…’</p><p>‘It’s fine,’ said Hinata, cutting Kageyama off. ‘I don’t care if you wanna train longer.’</p><p>‘Right.’</p><p>Awkwardness settled in Kageyama’s cheeks and he turned away from Hinata to practice jump serves. In the corner of his eye, Kageyama could see Hinata hitting the ball against the wall at the other end of the court. Hinata's presence glowed like a beacon in Kageyama’s mind and he wondered if Hinata, too, could feel the tension or if it was just in Kageyama’s mind. The decoy obviously didn’t care that Kageyama shared the same space as him but he clearly had no interest in talking or practicing together the way they used to.</p><p>‘You haven’t been staying back to train,’ said Hinata, after a moment.</p><p>He seemed to be focussed on hitting the ball against the wall but Kageyama noticed the lightest dusting of pink in Hinata's cheeks.</p><p>‘I’ve been practicing at home,’ said Kageyama. ‘I didn’t think you wanted me here — I know you often stay late.’</p><p>‘It doesn’t matter to me.’</p><p>Kageyama didn’t know what to say. The fact that Hinata had started talking to him first made him wonder if the decoy was ready to talk but Kageyama didn’t want to push it. He decided to keep things light and try to at least have a conversation.</p><p>‘Your receives have gotten better,’ he said.</p><p>He could see Hinata’s head swivel around to look at him but merely tossed the ball into the air above him, ran up and whacked it over the net right to the back corner.</p><p>‘Ukai Senior put me through my paces,’ said Hinata, and Kageyama could hear the smile in Hinata’s voice. ‘That guy’s a machine.’ </p><p>‘You’re lucky you got to train under him,’ said Kageyama, scooping up another ball out of the receptacle. ‘He’s the whole reason I wanted to come to Karasuno High in the first place.’</p><p>‘<em>I’m</em> lucky?! You’re the one who got to go to Tokyo, I bet those coaches are ten times as good as Ukai Senior.’</p><p>‘I don’t know about that, Ukai Senior’s easily the best in the prefecture. I bet the coaches from the training camp would acknowledge him.’</p><p>‘Those guys must have been crazy good, huh?’</p><p>Hinata stopped what he was doing and watched as Kageyama made another jump serve over the net. It went over the back line and the decoy snorted. Kageyama whipped around to glare daggers at him but Hinata only smirked. The sight sent a thrill through Kageyama’s heart.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘They were crazy good.’</p><p>Hinata asked questions about the training camp and Kageyama told him everything he wanted to know. In turn, Hinata, too, told about his time with Ukai Senior and the training regimen the old coach had put him through. Soon, they were tossing a ball to one another across the court, chatting lightly, and Kageyama forgot for a while that anything bad had ever happened between them. A ray of sunshine gradually grew within his chest with every passing moment and flared brighter every time Hinata smiled, which he did often and easily. The evening wore on and darkness truly fell when Hinata caught the ball in his hands and looked intently at Kageyama’s face.</p><p>‘What are you doing?’ asked Kageyama, lowering his arms.</p><p>Hinata squared his shoulders and set his face.</p><p>‘I’ll listen to you,’ he said. ‘If you want to talk properly or you have something to say, now’s your chance.’</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes widened. Hinata rested the ball against his hip and watched Kageyama, clearly waiting for him to speak. The time had finally come. The moment Kageyama had been waiting for. The lightness of their previous conversation broke and the air in the gym turned heavy with expectation. Kageyama squeezed his fists shut at his sides and stared the decoy down with intensity.</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ he said, the words sounding loud in his own ears.</p><p>‘Am I witnessing an actual apology?’ asked Hinata, and he raised his eyebrows.</p><p>‘Shut up!’ hissed Kageyama, but then he composed himself and reminded himself sharply that this may very well be his only chance. ‘Well, yeah, I guess you are,’ he grumbled.</p><p>‘Right!’</p><p>Hinata put the ball down on the floor beside himself and straightened up to face Kageyama properly.</p><p>‘Go on, then,’ he said. ‘I’m ready.’</p><p>Kageyama took a deep breath. How had he agonised so much over this person? How was it that he was the one that ended up wrapped around Hinata’s little finger, and not the other way around as he had originally thought? Kageyama mirrored Hinata’s movements and held his hands stiffly at his sides. Now was not the time to bicker and argue. He needed to say what he had been wanting to say for weeks. He couldn’t let this opportunity pass him by.</p><p>‘First of all, I’m sorry for what I said in the clubroom before I left,’ he said. ‘It was mean and it wasn’t really how I felt, I was just trying to finish things with you so that I could go to Tokyo without anything holding me back.’</p><p>‘Nice to know I would have held you back,’ muttered Hinata, petulantly.</p><p>‘I thought that way at the start but — I was wrong!’ said Kageyama, and he could hear the bitterness in his own voice. ‘I thought you’d hold me back so I thought I had to finish things with you, but then I went to Tokyo and, well, I realised I’d gotten everything mixed up. And then as more time went on, I realised just how wrong I really was.’</p><p>As Kageyama spoke, a darkness filled his face and his eyes dropped to the floor. Despite the fact that it was over, thinking about his time in Tokyo sent a shard of ice through his heart.</p><p>‘I - I missed you,’ he mumbled, and he could feel the colour burning in his cheeks.</p><p>Hinata stared at him and looked like he was about to burst, and Kageyama was glad that he held back whatever it was he was going to say.</p><p>‘I missed you like crazy,’ Kageyama continued. ‘I thought about you all the time, and even playing volleyball just wasn’t the same without you. Even if things can’t go back to the way they were before, even if you’re still mad at me or hate me or whatever, I just — I need you in my life. So, I’m sorry. Doing what I did and saying what I said back then… I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. I was stupid and dumb and I’m sorry, Hinata, I’m so sorry.’</p><p>Kageyama’s fists were clenched at his sides, his head was bowed low and his face was scrunched up with pain and shame. These were the words he had been dying to say to Hinata for weeks and they poured out of him like a cascade. He needed Hinata to understand how he was feeling. Nothing could go back to being even close to right if the decoy didn’t get it. The moment of silence stretched on and Kageyama glanced up through his fringe to see Hinata staring at him. The corners of the decoy’s lips were tugged up into a shining smile and irritation flared into Kageyama’s chest. The urge to chastise Hinata gripped him for a fraction of a second before he humbled himself. He was entirely at Hinata's mercy.</p><p>‘You were stupid and dumb,’ Hinata agreed. ‘And… you really hurt me.’</p><p>The smile on his face flickered and died and Kageyama’s heart felt icy again.</p><p>‘I don’t know if things could ever go back to the way they were before,’ Hinata continued. ‘But, um, thanks for apologising. L-Let’s keep playing volleyball together, okay? We have to train for Nationals and I’m pretty sure Ukai has lined up a practice match already. I just want to forget that anything ever happened.’</p><p>‘When you say “anything”, do you mean all the stuff that happened between us or just the past few weeks?’ asked Kageyama, sharply.</p><p>Hinata opened his mouth to answer but he was cut off by his phone vibrating in his pocket. Kageyama held his breath as Hinata answered. It was his mother and he was being told to come home already. He hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket.</p><p>‘My aunt’s visiting so I have to go home,’ said Hinata, and he was avoiding Kageyama’s eye again.</p><p>Kageyama stepped forward and felt a desperate urge to try and get Hinata to stay. He felt like they had barely scratched the surface of things he needed to talk about.</p><p>‘I-I’ll see you tomorrow, right?’ he stammered.</p><p>‘Um, yeah?’ said Hinata, with his head tilted to one side. ‘We have training tomorrow.’</p><p>He zipped up his club jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder.</p><p>‘See you, Kageyama,’ he said, with a wave of his hand.</p><p>‘Wait!’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He felt gripped by desperation. He didn’t know what he wanted Hinata to say. He didn't know what he needed to hear. What he wouldn’t give to see Hinata beam at him the way he used to, or smile that shining smile that he now wanted to punch himself for not appreciating more.</p><p>‘Do you hate me?’ Kageyama blurted out.</p><p>‘No,’ said Hinata, sounding confused. ‘You’re my rival and a genius setter, but we’ve got to win at Nationals before we can verse each other for real. I only want to train like normal.’</p><p>The pieces fit together in Kageyama’s head and he stared with a sinking heart as Hinata turned his back and left the gym. Things had definitely changed between them. It was clear that to Hinata, Kageyama the Partner was dead. The setter himself had dealt the killing blow when he had broken things off with Hinata in the clubroom so many weeks ago. Now, he had fallen to the rank of Kageyama the Teammate. He had no one to blame but himself. Perhaps, after some time, he would be able to show Hinata that he could be the person that he wanted and that it was worth giving him another shot; or perhaps enough time would pass for Kageyama to start trying to move on with his life. But no. As soon as the thought entered his mind, Kageyama immediately shot it down. Moving on was impossible. Hinata had changed him so irrevocably that there was no going back. He was certain that he would forever be in love with Hinata Shouyou. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even if things are still in the will-they-won't-they stage. At least Kageyama's headstrong, stubborn attitude is serving him well for once and refusing to let him give up on Hinata. We'll see in the next chapter if they're able to make up or if it really is over for good... I hope you stick around to find out! Just so you know, the next chapter is the "deciding" chapter of sorts if that makes sense and the one after will be an epilogue (which is already almost twice as long as my usual chapters so there's that to look forward to...) I'll upload the next chapter on Wednesday evening Eastern European Time so I look forward to seeing you then! - Ren.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Home Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their conversation in the gym and Kageyama’s apology, things returned to something resembling normalcy between Hinata and Kageyama. The distance disappeared and their old rivalry resumed. They stayed late together in the gym to practice, they studied in the clubroom or Sakanoshita Shop in the evenings, and Hinata was perfectly friendly. In fact, he treated the setter much the same way that he treated their other teammates. Kageyama the Teammate was very much alive and well, nourished by the corpse of Kageyama the Partner. Kageyama couldn’t complain. Being friendly with Hinata was more than he could ever have expected and yet his feelings for the decoy never wavered. In fact, Kageyama often felt like he was repeating the beginning of their more-than-friends relationship all over again from half a year ago. Fighting was how it started, then they became teammates, then friends, and then something more; now, it felt like history was repeating itself and they were somewhere between the “becoming teammates” and “friends” phase. He didn’t think Hinata was ready for Kageyama to start inviting him to his house or going out to restaurants together but neutral locations such as the clubroom, gym or Sakanoshita Shop that their friends often frequented were suitable enough.</p><p>During the time they spent together, Kageyama tried to be good. He was more attentive than usual, listening along to Hinata's stories instead of letting his mind wander as he normally would, and he often bought tea, fruit or buns for them to share. His wallet was hurting but it was worth it to see that beaming smile of which he had been utterly starved for so long. He knew that his efforts weren’t going unnoticed as Hinata often had a knowing look in his eye whenever Kageyama set down a bag of goodies in front of him but the decoy never remarked upon it; he merely allowed Kageyama to try and Kageyama took the silence as assurance that his efforts were being noted. If the rest of their teammates noticed their increasing closeness, no one remarked upon it for which Kageyama was thankful. Sometimes he felt like Tsukishima’s eyes were following him more often than normal and once he caught Sugawara watching him when he chatted with Hinata during practice. After one particular practice, Kageyama’s suspicions, at least concerning his silver-haired senpai, were confirmed.</p><p>‘Oi, are you coming, Shouyou?’ asked Nishinoya, from the doorway.</p><p>‘You guys go on ahead, I’m gonna practice here for a bit!’ called Hinata. ‘I won’t stay late, promise!’</p><p>‘Right, careful riding home, yeah?’</p><p>‘Yep, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!’</p><p>‘Don’t stay too long, Hinata,’ said Sugawara, with a wave. ‘Ukai’ll get mad if you stay late too many days in a row, you know.’</p><p>‘An hour, tops!’ said Hinata. ‘Kageyama will keep time, won’t you, Kageyama?’</p><p>‘Er — sure,’ said Kageyama, stiffly.</p><p>Sugawara was smiling but his gaze lingered a little too long on Kageyama’s face before he turned to leave. Guilt and shame twisted in Kageyama’s stomach as the third-year left and he recalled the conversation they had had in the school yard when he had come back from Tokyo.<em> “Hinata comes first.”</em> The words repeated themselves in Kageyama’s mind as he watched the decoy run across the court towards him. The guilt turned to conviction and Kageyama gripped the ball in his hands.<em> Yes</em>, he thought firmly to himself.<em> Hinata does come first</em>.</p><p>‘What’s wrong?’ asked Hinata, frowning at the look on Kageyama’s face.</p><p>‘N-Nothing,’ said Kageyama, and he quickly neutralised his expression.</p><p>‘You’re so intense, Kageyama-kun!’</p><p>Hinata whacked the ball out of the setter’s hands and ran down the court with it. Kageyama gritted his teeth but Hinata merely grinned.</p><p>‘Get ready!’ Hinata called over his shoulder. ‘I’m gonna do the best jump serve you’ve ever seen in your life!’</p><p>‘I went to school with Oikawa for three years, remember?’</p><p>‘Well, he was younger then and probably sucked at jump serves so prepare to be amazed!’</p><p>Hinata served the ball into the net and looked so crestfallen that Kageyama had to laugh.</p><p>‘You’re right,’ he said, ‘that <em>was</em> amazing.’</p><p>‘Shut up!’ snapped Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama’s smile lingered. Bickering with Hinata breathed life into his soul and he felt a lightness in his limbs when they practiced that had been lacking for too long. When they were alone together, the memories of the closeness in their past flooded into Kageyama’s head and he had to stop himself from reaching out and touching Hinata or speaking too candidly. If he slipped too easily into complacency, he was sure to say something inappropriate or act on muscle memory. He had to be on guard not to make Hinata uncomfortable or he would end up undoing all the progress they had made. He could only hope that time and kindness would be enough to resurrect Kageyama the Partner from the grave.</p><p>‘I like practicing with you,’ said Hinata, after a long moment of silence in which they tossed the ball to one another.</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes snapped up to Hinata’s and Hinata was smiling slightly.</p><p>‘Our teammates are all really cool and I like them,’ continued Hinata, ‘but you’re kind of different from them somehow.’</p><p>‘What do you mean?’ asked Kageyama, trying to keep his tone casual despite the rapid increase in his heart rate.</p><p>‘Maybe I just think that way because we used to be, like, more than friends or something.’</p><p>Blush coloured Hinata’s cheeks and Kageyama’s heart thundered in his ears. He tossed the ball back over, wondering what he could possibly say to keep the conversation going without losing control. He was greatly encouraged by the fact that Hinata had brought up the subject himself.</p><p>‘You’re thinking about it too, huh?’ he said.</p><p>‘I can't help it,’ said Hinata, hitting the ball over. ‘Especially when we hang out just the two of us. It makes me think of those times.’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama. ‘Same.’</p><p>Kageyama could feel the redness in his own cheeks. The silence stretched on between them as the only noise in the gym was the <em>thud thud</em> of the ball being hit between them and the occasional squeak of their shoes.</p><p>‘You asked me the other day if I wanted to forget everything that happened between us or just the past few weeks,’ said Hinata, his eyes focussed on the ball. ‘I don’t wanna forget all the stuff we did together. At least, I don’t wanna forget the nice stuff.’</p><p>Relief flooded Kageyama’s body and he had to force himself to keep up their rally despite how distracted he was.</p><p>‘Good,’ he said.</p><p>‘We can’t be together, though,’ said Hinata, lowly. ‘You get that, right?’</p><p>Kageyama looked at Hinata and the ball hit the floor at his feet and bounced away.</p><p>‘I don’t care,’ he said, firmly. ‘I want to be with you.’</p><p>‘Well, how is that gonna work?’ said Hinata. ‘You said it yourself, you’re moving away and we'll live hundreds of kilometres apart from each other.’</p><p>‘Don’t you — doesn’t that make you angry?’</p><p>‘It did, but I had time to accept it. I thought that was what you wanted.’</p><p>‘I thought that was what I wanted, too.’ Kageyama sighed, heavily. ‘I’m such an idiot.’</p><p>‘You were just being realistic,’ shrugged Hinata.</p><p>‘No, I was being stupid. I thought that you would do anything I wanted and that I was totally in control. I thought that I had the upper hand.’ Kageyama laughed humourlessly. ‘I have nothing more to lose.’</p><p>‘If you only wanted to hang out with me because you thought I’d do anything you wanted, well, I’ll tell you what, Kageyama, I’ve learned a little thing called self-respect!’</p><p>‘That's not —!’ Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his forefinger. ‘I wanted to hang out with you for <em>you</em>, idiot, not any other reason!’</p><p>‘I don’t even know if I wanna be like that with you anymore,’ said Hinata, and he crossed his arms firmly over his chest. ‘How could I know you’re not gonna turn around and ditch me again whenever you feel like it?’</p><p>‘Because I would never do that!’ said Kageyama. ‘Never again, I swear it. You don’t realise how shit it was in Tokyo —’</p><p>‘No, <em>you</em> don’t realise how shit it was for me after you left!’ said Hinata, cutting him off angrily.</p><p>‘If you’re still mad about it then fine, be angry,’ said Kageyama, shortly. ‘I don’t know what else I can do to show you that I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘I don’t know either.’</p><p>Hinata’s brow knitted with worry and a shard of ice pierced Kageyama’s heart. He hated to see Hinata looking like that; Hinata, who was the physical embodiment of a ray of sunshine, who was the purest, sweetest thing on the face of the Earth, who needed to be protected at all costs. He hated to know that he was making Hinata look that way.</p><p>‘Look,’ said Kageyama, and the gentleness of his tone caused Hinata to look up in surprise, ‘let’s just keep hanging out, okay? Don’t worry about anything else. I’m fine being friends, or whatever, if that’s what you want. You know how I feel and I’ll be here if you ever - if you change your mind.’</p><p>Hinata nodded and Kageyama fought the urge to walk over and take his hand reassuringly. He envied his past self for having that luxury that he had now lost. Instead, he turned on his heel and ran after the ball that had come to rest against the back wall.</p><p>‘Come on,’ he called. ‘I wanna see your jump serve again.’</p><p>* * *</p><p>Days turned into weeks and December brought with it heavy snowfall and starry nights. Kageyama donned leggings, shorts and a light jacket to go jogging in the mornings and Hinata’s nose and cheeks were pink with cold whenever he arrived to school on his bike. It was oddly relieving to be open with Hinata and lay everything out on the table for him to see. Speaking his thoughts out loud and making himself vulnerable made Kageyama feel like he had nothing more to hide and it was curiously comforting. He couldn’t help feeling like the worst had passed and that all he could do now was continue living his day-to-day life. They practiced hard every day in preparation for Nationals and Ukai even had them sit down in the court for an hour to learn about proper nutrition and eating habits. Kageyama decided to push Ageo City from his mind for the time being — he could worry about it after Nationals was over. He had agreed over the phone with the Ageo team coach that it would be best for Kageyama to finish his first year at Karasuno and move south to complete the rest of his high school years in the Greater Tokyo Area so that he could train alongside the professional team and up-coming youth members. Hinata never asked him about it and Kageyama decided not to bring it up. Moving away had become something of a sore spot and Kageyama wasn’t about to break the careful peace that was balanced between them.</p><p>On the last Saturday before winter break, Kageyama woke up to a message from Hinata.</p><p>
  <em>The ice rink in Sendai is opening today. Let’s go skating!!! (⊙ꇴ⊙) - 06.26</em>
</p><p>Kageyama rubbed sleep from his eyes and frowned. The ice skating rink in Sendai had been closed for renovations for some months. Since when was Hinata into skating? He tapped out a reply and hit send.</p><p>
  <em>What about training? - 07.02</em>
</p><p>He sat up in bed and pushed his hair back off his face. His eyes lingered on his pillow and the memory of Hinata’s panting, moaning breaths sounded in his ears before he pushed the recollections aside and got up. His phone buzzed and he opened Hinata’s reply.</p><p>
  <em>We can go after - 07.09</em>
</p><p>Normally, Kageyama would have typed out a flat “no” and hit send but he was trying to be more receptive to Hinata's wishes, so he wrote out the letters “OK” and sent the message. They met up at practice with the rest of the team and Hinata and Kageyama gravitated to one another once their few hours of training were over. They went up to the clubroom together to change into their casual clothes. Hinata pulled on a pair of maroon trousers and a blue knitted jumper with yellow stripes, over which he put on his green coat and scarf. Kageyama wore black jeans, a grey pullover, a black parka and a navy scarf. Their contrast in wardrobe colour palette always made his heart feel curiously warm.</p><p>‘You ready to go?’ asked Hinata, grinning.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama, still slightly perplexed at why Hinata had asked him to go skating.</p><p>‘Great! I was meant to go with my mum and sister next week but we’re going to visit my grandparents for Christmas so we won’t have time. Thanks for coming with me!’</p><p>‘No problem...’</p><p>Hinata waved goodbye to Sugawara, who was watching them from the doorway, and Kageyama stared the third-year down firmly in an effort to express that he knew what he was doing and the situation was under control. Hinata wheeled his bike out of the rack and Kageyama pedalled them to Karasuno railway station. The cold wind whipped around them and Kageyama dug his chin into his scarf.</p><p>‘Do you like skating, Kageyama?’ asked Hinata, from behind him.</p><p>‘It’s okay,’ Kageyama shrugged. ‘Haven’t done it in years though, I don’t even know if I still can.’</p><p>‘You’ll pick it up again in no time! I used to go every weekend before the rink in Yukigaoka closed down. I think they couldn’t afford to keep it open once my junior high’s skating club stopped running. I was actually super close to joining the skating club but I decided on volleyball instead.’</p><p>They chatted lightly on the way to Sendai and Kageyama still wasn’t entirely sure why Hinata had invited him out. A part of him wondered if the decoy had some underlying purpose or if this was just a casual hang-out between friends. Whatever the reason, Kageyama was glad to be spending time with Hinata outside of training, even if Sugawara had given him a disapproving look when he passed; but Sugawara couldn’t know that they were merely teammates — friends, even. There wasn’t a shred of anything more between them nor did Kageyama plan to initiate anything and that assured him that he wasn’t doing any harm in spending the afternoon with Hinata. If anything, spending time together would only increase their cohesion on the court which would increase their chances of winning at Nationals.</p><p>They reached the city and Hinata directed them to the right bus which took them to the ice rink. Kageyama hadn’t spent as much time in Sendai as Hinata had and his sense of direction was admittedly lacking so he was comfortable in allowing Hinata to take charge in navigating them to the ice rink. The rink itself was vaguely familiar as Kageyama recalled visiting as a child with his mother and sister. There were quite a few people out on the ice and Kageyama was relieved to notice that many of them seemed to be somewhat average at skating. He didn’t particularly have confidence in his skating ability. He also noticed that there seemed to be mostly couples revolving around the rink together. The thought made him swallow but he pushed aside any assumptions about Hinata’s intentions that wormed their way into his head. This was purely platonic, nothing more. He couldn’t afford to get his hopes up for no reason.</p><p>‘Oooh, look, the whole rental desk is new!’ said Hinata, admiring the renovation. ‘Let’s get skates. Oh, and I wanna get a drink. Or should I get sweets? You’ll share if I buy some, right?’</p><p>‘It’s alright, I can get it,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata got their skates while Kageyama bought an assortment of sweets and two bottles of flavoured water. They sat down by the rink and laced up their skates. Kageyama handed Hinata a Chocoball from the packet he had bought and they made their way out onto the ice.</p><p>Kageyama immediately realised why Hinata had wanted to come skating. The decoy moved with unprecedented grace that Kageyama could never have anticipated and he wondered if he had been brought here specifically with the intention to be made fun of. Either way, he felt like his humility was being tested and he wasn't about to be beaten. He moved out onto the ice, feeling his balance wobbling slightly, and tried to recall the memory of how to skate back to his limbs. Hinata laughed aloud a couple of times when Kageyama’s balance wavered or his footing stumbled and Kageyama had to force himself not to snap at the decoy out of embarrassment. Hinata, at least, flew across the ice, smiling all the while, and Kageyama couldn’t help feeling that making himself look stupid was almost worth it just for that.</p><p>‘Come on, Kageyama!’ called Hinata, coming to an abrupt halt in front of the setter and holding out his hand. ‘You can hold onto me if you need to.’</p><p>‘I don’t need!’ said Kageyama through gritted teeth, but Hinata merely grinned.</p><p>‘You can’t keep clinging to the railing forever,’ he said. ‘It’s fine, I won’t tell anyone. Promise.’</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth but looked at the way Hinata was holding out his arm for him to balance on. He couldn’t deny that he greatly wanted to be close to the decoy and this was a perfect opportunity despite the shame that came with it. He saw Sugawara’s piercing eyes floating in his mind and hardened his resolve. <em>This is totally platonic</em>, he swore inwardly to his senpai. <em>And it was Hinata's idea, not mine</em>. He took hold of Hinata’s arm and allowed himself to be guided to the centre of the rink. He tried not to think too much about the fact that his arm was linked lightly around Hinata’s and the way his fingers instinctively gripped tighter against the decoy whenever his balance wavered. There was nothing to it, no reason to get his hopes up, purely platonic, indicative of nothing… But even still, his heart felt lighter than it had in weeks as they glided over the ice together.</p><p>After a while, they took off their skates and shared the rest of the Chocoballs as they played some vintage arcade games that had been set up in a lounge beside the rink. Hinata lost his game spectacularly with less than five seconds to spare and Kageyama won a chibi shrimp plushie from a claw machine which the decoy gleefully accepted as a gift. It was already dusk when they got outside despite the early hour and Hinata checked his phone.</p><p>‘I’m starving, should we get something to eat before going back to Karasuno?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Sure,’ said Kageyama, feeling hungry himself. ‘You know this city better than me, you can choose.’</p><p>‘Alright, you can trust in me! Let’s head to the centre and see what’s there.’</p><p>‘Saying “you can trust in me” makes me trust you even less, you know,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, I’ll prove myself right and you can eat your words for dinner.’</p><p>Kageyama scowled and allowed himself to be lead to the bus stop. When the bus arrived, he looked dubiously through the window as they boarded. It was full of people who were obviously heading home after work. They squeezed into the aisle and Kageyama was suddenly struck with how close they were standing. Hinata’s head was inches from his chest and the heady fragrance of fresh cotton and tatami flooded Kageyama’s brain like a drug. He straightened up and held onto the bar above Hinata's head, trying not to let anything show in his face. As the bus pulled out of the stop, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost for a while in their closeness and the familiar notes emanating from Hinata's flaming hair. The closeness filled his chest with warmth and yet it made his heart ache when he was reminded just how much he had lost.</p><p>‘Let's get off,’ murmured Hinata, after a while.</p><p>He looked up into Kageyama’s face which was agonisingly close and Kageyama felt like he couldn’t speak so he merely nodded. He was swept out of the bus in a tide of departing passengers and he felt a hand around his wrist as Hinata pulled him out of the crowd.</p><p>‘This way,’ said Hinata.</p><p>The decoy led him down the street and around a corner and then they stopped at the head of one of the city’s main thoroughfares. The entire avenue was lined with zelkova trees as far as the eye could see and every tree was strung with fairy lights so that the whole street was washed in a gentle orange glow. The canopy of arching branches was dappled in pinpoints of firelight that twinkled like endless stars and created a beautiful shimmering tapestry.</p><p>‘Oh, right, it’s the Pageant of Starlight festival,’ murmured Kageyama. ‘I forgot.’</p><p>‘Awesome!’ breathed Hinata.</p><p>His eyes were wide as he drank in the sight of hundreds of thousands of Christmas lights. The avenue was bustling with observers but there was an atmosphere of quiet wonderment in the air as everyone took in the magical scene.</p><p>‘Did you know this was going on?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>‘Maybe,’ said Hinata, with a sly grin. ‘I mean, they have it every year for the whole of December. How could you have forgotten?’</p><p>‘Slipped my mind, I guess.’</p><p>‘Bakageyama, you’re so forgetful.’</p><p>‘Oi!’ growled Kageyama.</p><p>‘Ooh look, there’s a hotpot place across the street! Should we go? I need something to warm me up.’</p><p>Hinata hunched up his shoulders and buried his chin in his scarf. Kageyama’s expression softened. He yearned to reach out and brush the pink tinge in Hinata’s cheeks with his fingertips but instead he gripped his fists shut in his pockets to stop himself from doing something he would regret.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ he said, turning away. ‘Let’s go.’</p><p>They crossed the street, shoulders bumping into one another, and entered the hotpot restaurant. Kageyama took off his scarf and shrugged out of his parka to hang them up before they took a table by the window from which they got a picturesque view of the illuminated street. The restaurant itself had décor in muted blues and greys and was dimly lit to accentuate the view of the street. Once they sat down, a waitress brought them menus and lit a candle on the table between them. Kageyama felt heat rise in his cheeks. The atmosphere felt noticeably romantic and he was embarrassed on Hinata’s behalf as Hinata obviously had no such intentions. The decoy, on the other hand, was smiling lightly and didn’t seem bothered by the ambience, if indeed he noticed it at all.</p><p>‘All of these sound so good!’ he sighed, wistfully. ‘What do you wanna have, Kageyama?’</p><p>Wary of the month’s expenditures, Kageyama suggested one of the cheaper options. While they waited for their food, Hinata leaned his chin in his hand and gazed out of the window.</p><p>‘Even though I’ve seen the Pageant of Starlight so many times, it always looks so cool,’ he said. ‘It must take them ages to string up all of those lights.’</p><p>‘I think I’ve only seen it a couple of times when I was a kid,’ mused Kageyama.</p><p>‘Your family’s not big on festivals, huh?’</p><p>‘Not really. My sister was the only one who really cared and she normally went with her friends.’</p><p>‘You were too busy practicing volleyball to think about anything else, right?’ grinned Hinata.</p><p>‘Like you weren’t,’ scoffed Kageyama, and he nudged Hinata lightly under the table with his foot.</p><p>‘I’m just better at time management than you,’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘You wish! Didn’t you get penalised for handing in your literature assignment late?’</p><p>‘Well, that’s different!’</p><p>Kageyama smirked while Hinata pouted. Then, Kageyama remembered that he was supposed to be nice to Hinata and quickly sat up straighter.</p><p>‘You’re good at skating,’ he noted.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes met Kageyama’s and they were shining at the praise so brightly that Kageyama had to look down at the tabletop. A scowl descended on his features.</p><p>‘Thanks!’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘Glad to know that you don’t think you’re better than me at everything.’</p><p>‘I never thought that,’ frowned Kageyama. ‘You can do loads of things I can’t do.’</p><p>‘Oh yeah? Like what?’</p><p>‘Skating, for one,’ said Kageyama. ‘You’re good at making food, you’ve got way better social skills than me, not to mention your crazy stamina.’</p><p>‘Stop giving me compliments, it’s weird,’ said Hinata, and his eyes were narrowed with suspicion.</p><p>‘You asked!’</p><p>As they chatted, occasional snowflakes began to fall outside. The waitress brought them their hotpot and Hinata took pictures from all different angles while Kageyama complained loudly before the decoy allowed him to start dishing out the food. The restaurant choice soon proved to be a good one as Kageyama felt warmth spread all the way to his toes and Hinata rolled up his sleeves in relief after the cold day. When the waitress brought the bill, Kageyama reached into his pocket for his wallet but not before Hinata put a fistful of crumpled cash on the table.</p><p>‘Not so fast,’ he said. ‘I’m paying for this one.’</p><p>‘Okay, what's your deal?’ asked Kageyama, flatly.</p><p>‘Huh?’ said Hinata, and he tilted his head to one side in confusion.</p><p>‘I’m not <em>that</em> stupid, Hinata. What are you playing at? Taking me skating? Buying me dinner? Was the Pageant of Starlight a part of your plan, too?’</p><p>‘Well…’ Hinata blushed and rubbed his arm awkwardly, ‘it is your birthday, isn’t it?’</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes narrowed.</p><p>‘What does it matter?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Just to be clear, I invited you skating because I wanted to go, not just because of the day; and you’ve been buying me snacks and buns pretty much every day for weeks so let me pay for the hotpot. And the Pageant of Starlight just happens to be a coincidence! You know the festival goes all month.’</p><p>‘Don’t expect me to believe all that.’</p><p>‘So what if I wanted to do something nice?’ said Hinata, gruffly. ‘I know that you didn’t tell anyone else about your birthday being today, you never even told me! Not even when we —’</p><p>Hinata stopped mid-sentence and his blush deepened at whatever it was he had been about to say. Kageyama tried to push past the impending awkwardness.</p><p>‘How did you know, then?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Your school ID,’ said Hinata, sheepishly. ‘I remember seeing it once at your place.’</p><p>‘Stalker.’</p><p>‘I’m not a stalker! It was on the desk, I couldn’t help seeing!’</p><p>‘Well…’ Kageyama scowled and softened his tone. ‘Thanks, I guess.’</p><p>Hinata grinned, clearly satisfied that Kageyama gave in which only made Kageyama scowl more.</p><p>‘No problem!’ said Hinata.</p><p>Snow was falling in earnest by the time they left, softening all sounds of the bustling street and reflecting the fairy lights tenfold. Hinata’s wide eyes mirrored more points of gold than Kageyama could count and he felt suddenly gripped by a soul-deep affection for the boy beside him. Hinata had obviously planned to take Kageyama out on his birthday to celebrate without even making his true purpose known; for Hinata, it was enough that Kageyama enjoyed the day without even knowing it was intentional. But Kageyama was glad to know. It warmed his heart more than any hotpot ever could.</p><p>They pulled on their hoods and walked with bowed heads against the snowfall towards the train station. By the time they reached Karasuno, the wind had picked up and snow was falling so hard and fast that it was difficult to make out the road beyond the station.</p><p>‘It's snowing way more here than in Sendai!’ said Hinata, holding his hood tightly around his face as they huddled under the station roof. ‘I can barely see anything!’</p><p>‘Do you think your bike is buried?’ asked Kageyama.</p><p>‘My bike!’ groaned Hinata, in dismay. ‘There’s no way I can ride over the mountain in this weather! What am I supposed to do?!’</p><p>Kageyama fidgeted his hands in his pockets, thinking hard. He had a solution in his head but he didn’t know if he should say it out loud. They had made so much progress that he absolutely couldn’t afford a setback but it seemed they were backed into a corner by the weather.</p><p>‘You could come to my place,’ he said, shooting the decoy a furtive look. ‘Just to wait out the storm.’</p><p>Hinata looked up at him searchingly. There was hesitation written in his expression and for an agonising moment Kageyama wondered if he had overstepped his bounds but Hinata eventually nodded.</p><p>‘If it’s alright with you,’ he conceded.</p><p>‘Yeah, for sure,’ said Kageyama. ‘Come on, I’ll ride.’</p><p>They hurried out to the street and Kageyama brushed the piles of snow off Hinata’s bike before getting on. Hinata huddled behind Kageyama’s back as the setter pedalled them to his house, eyes squinting against the wind and snow and lungs aching as he panted in the frozen air. The muscles in his thighs burned as he pushed through the inches of snow that had piled up on the road but he forced himself as far as he could before the effort got to be too much and they had to stop and walk. Once they got the front of his house, Kageyama wheeled the bike behind the fence while Hinata rushed to the front door to take shelter under the eaves, brushing himself free of snow as he went. When Kageyama approached, an air of nervousness emanated from Hinata that Kageyama immediately noticed. He pulled out his keys and felt a scowl of regret and shame descend on his face.</p><p>‘You know I won’t do anything you don’t want,’ he muttered. ‘You don’t have to worry about that.’</p><p>‘Well, what <em>would</em> you do, then?’ asked Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama stopped, keys in the lock, and frowned at the decoy who was looking up at him with curiously wide eyes.</p><p>‘What do you mean?’ said Kageyama.</p><p>‘If I wanted you to do something, what would you do for me?’ said Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama let go of the keys, turned to face Hinata fully, and looked him firmly in the face.</p><p>‘Anything,’ he said.</p><p>‘That’s a boring answer,’ whined Hinata. ‘Come on, tell me, what would you do?’</p><p>Hinata was pushing him. He had been setting up this moment all day. Ice skating, the Pageant of Starlight, the restaurant; this, too, was a part of Hinata’s plan for Kageyama’s birthday. He was steering the conversation down a path that Kageyama had been standing on for months and Kageyama didn’t need telling twice. He took Hinata’s face between his long-fingered hands and stared the decoy down with ferocity blazing in his eyes. Hinata’s eyes widened in shock and he instinctively made to move away but then hesitated at the intensity of Kageyama’s gaze.</p><p>‘I’d buy you snacks for a month, make a fool of myself in a public ice rink, and ride your bike through the worst blizzard of the year,’ said Kageyama. ‘I’d make the trip from Ageo to Karasuno every week for the next two years to be alone with you, Hinata.’</p><p>Kageyama’s grip softened and he allowed himself to feel the gentle touch of Hinata's cheeks under his fingers. He could see himself reflected in Hinata’s eyes as the decoy gazed up at him with an expression not unlike wonderment. <em>Don’t pull away</em>, thought Kageyama. <em>Let me have this, please</em>.</p><p>Kageyama leaned his head down, slowly closing the space between them, giving Hinata the time to pull away if he wanted to. But Hinata didn’t move. His pupils were blown wide as their breath gradually mingled and the pink tinge in his cheeks deepened. His eyelids fluttered closed and Kageyama could see tiny water droplets, the remnants of melted snowflakes, clinging to his lashes. Kageyama’s fringe fell into his eyes as he ducked his head. Their lips met between them and the point of contact glowed like fire in Kageyama’s mind. All of his worries, the pain, the guilt, the chasm that had been delved in his chest, became as light as the wind as he felt the familiar shape of Hinata’s lips pressed against his own. Snow flurried silently around them, catching on the strands of their hair and the fabric of their clothes, and Hinata reached his arms up around Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama enveloped the decoy in a whole-hearted embrace, bringing them close together, and kissed him harder.<em> I love you</em> — he tried to say the words through his actions. He tried to get Hinata to understand how he really felt through the movement of his lips and the strength of his embrace. <em>I love you so much I could die</em>. He lifted Hinata off the ground and Hinata kissed him back with ferocity to match. After a moment, Hinata broke the kiss and looked down at Kageyama. He brushed the setter's fringe off his eyes and his face split into a blinding, shining smile that burst through the clouds of Kageyama’s mind.</p><p>‘I’m glad you love me,’ said Hinata.</p><p>There was a note of smugness in his voice but Kageyama didn’t care. Nothing could bring him down from the high that he was riding having Hinata in his arms again.</p><p>‘So am I,’ he said, and he meant it.</p><p>The truth of their reality was laid bare and the careful formality around which they had been dancing since Kageyama’s return from Tokyo melted away into the night as they held each other under the eaves amid swirling snowfall. It had been over a month since Kageyama had come back to Karasuno but, in that moment, he knew that he was finally home. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>MANGA SPOILER IN THIS CHAPTER! Hello everyone. I’m terribly sorry but at the time of uploading, this chapter contains a spoiler from the manga regarding what Hinata does after high school. It doesn’t spoil everything such as his future career and so on, but as this epilogue chapter is set a couple of years after the events of the anime (at the time of uploading) there is some unavoidable information included that isn’t in the anime so far. There are no spoilers regarding Nationals or the outcome of any volleyball games, nor the futures of Kageyama or any other characters from the series. I’m very sorry if you’re someone that is trying to avoid all spoilers! There are also a few non-English terms in this chapter that may be unfamiliar so I’ve put a short glossary of sorts in the end notes. Anyway, thank you for reading and please enjoy the final chapter of this work - Ren. P.S. The spoiler starts literally from the first line so I'm just going to make this note box nice and big...<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-<br/>-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I can’t believe you convinced me to come to Brazil.’</p><p>‘I know!’</p><p>‘What am I doing here.’</p><p>‘You’ll love it! I’m so excited you came!’</p><p>Hinata was beaming up at Kageyama who couldn’t suppress the scowl on his face. The oppressive humidity of Rio de Janeiro’s international airport made Kageyama’s hair stand on end and his clothes were already sticking to him. Despite his general discomfort at the heat and fatigue after the long plane trip that was behind him, he couldn’t deny the crooked smile that tugged at his lips and he pulled Hinata into a one-armed hug.</p><p>‘Well, I have to make sure my boyfriend's surviving alright without me,’ he said.</p><p>His tone was light and teasing but Hinata couldn’t know just how glad Kageyama was to be seeing him in person. They had had nothing but phone calls and video chats for five weeks since Hinata had last visited him in Japan and Kageyama had felt Hinata’s absence from his life conspicuously. He frequently told himself that he ought to be used to the distance by now — they hadn’t lived in the same town since the first year of high school, after all — and yet the longing for Hinata’s physical presence never wavered no matter how many years passed. The weekends and smattering of days here and there when they were able to be together glowed brightly in Kageyama’s memory, causing the rest of his day-to-day life to pale in comparison. No matter how much time passed, the devotion Kageyama felt to his companion refused to falter.</p><p>‘I’m so glad you finally made it here,’ said Hinata, as Kageyama let him go and they walked side-by-side towards the exit. ‘There are <em>so</em> many things I wanna show you — well, you’ve seen most things when we video chat but it’s different in real life! My apartment doesn’t have air conditioning but I’m sure you’ll survive, right? I’ve been at my gym all day so I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping but I can get some snacks from the shop downstairs from my apartment if you’re hungry, although I think I could make up something simple from whatever I have in my cupboards if you want a proper meal later on. How was the flight, anyway?’</p><p>Kageyama’s sluggish, jetlagged brain couldn’t keep up with the speed at which Hinata spoke. He walked along feeling like he was in a dazed, mirage-like dream with Hinata's presence beside him taking all of his concentration. He told Hinata about his flight and the decoy chattered away lightly about what he had done already that day. Kageyama lost himself in the sound of Hinata’s voice. It wasn’t just coming through his phone’s speaker, it was actually there, clear as a bell, in his ears. It felt too good to be true. They left the airport and Hinata waved down a taxi. They got in and he said some strange words in an odd, stilted accent before the driver took off into the stop-start traffic inching its way out of the airport terminal.</p><p>‘It’s weird hearing you speak Spanish,’ asked Kageyama, feeling impressed.</p><p>‘Portuguese,’ corrected Hinata. ‘And I told you the guys at my gymnasium have been helping me learn, remember? My English sucks and most people don’t speak it anyway.’</p><p>The city of Rio de Janeiro rolled by the window and Kageyama’s eyes widened. He had seen a lot of the city from photos and videos that Hinata showed him but actually being here was entirely different. The city seemed to have been built half on the beach and half in the mountains that jutted up steeply out of the meandering network of bays and inlets. Multicoloured buildings of varying heights and condition cascaded down from the hilltops all the way to the waterfront. As the taxi driver weaved their way through the streets, Kageyama peered out at the tangle of countless electricity cables criss-crossing overhead, the many scooters and tiny hatchbacks beeping and honking and responding to an unspoken language of road rules that was completely foreign to him, the colourful apartment building façades in various states of dilapidation, and ultra-modern marvels of architecture that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Dubai.</p><p>‘I can’t believe you’ve lived here for half a year,’ said Kageyama, staring out at the scenery. ‘It’s kind of impressive.’</p><p>‘You think so?’ laughed Hinata.</p><p>‘Yeah, I wouldn’t be brave enough.’</p><p>‘You’re such a chicken, Kageyama.’</p><p>Kageyama shoved him in the arm but Hinata just grinned and grabbed Kageyama’s hand. He laced his fingers in between the setter’s and Kageyama couldn’t even pretend to scowl. He was too happy to feel Hinata’s hand in his own. He tapped his foot with impatience on the floor. As much as he enjoyed taking in the sights of Rio, there was only one thing he really wanted to see above all else, and that was the man beside him wrapped up in his arms.</p><p>They soon left the bustling shopping districts and made their way to a quieter part of town that had narrower streets winding up a steep hill. The taxi driver navigated labyrinthine alleyways and cobbled one-way lanes expertly until they reached a somewhat haphazardly-standing apartment building. The outward-facing façade was covered in windows and balconies over which residents were drying bedsheets and other items of clothing, or else strange-looking tropical plants were spilling out between the metal bars to the floors below, and the entrance on the street level was a single bright red door.</p><p>‘We’re here!’ said Hinata, brightly. ‘This is my apartment building.’</p><p>He paid the driver and they got out, Kageyama shouldering his travel bag as he did so. Hinata unlocked the red door and lead the way into a communal courtyard and up a rickety flight of stairs to his landing.</p><p>‘It’s nothing special but it’s mine,’ he said, sheepishly, and opened the door to his apartment.</p><p><em>Hinata’s apartment</em>. This was the space that Hinata himself had decorated, with all of the furniture that he had bought each with its own origin story; the place where he ate, showered, slept, prepared meals and whiled away lazy evenings. Curiosity mingled with longing built in Kageyama’s chest as he followed Hinata inside and took off his shoes on the threshold. He had seen the apartment in their frequent video calls but being here in person was an entirely different matter. The apartment had a joint kitchen and living room, a separate bedroom that was just big enough to accommodate a bed that was much too large for the space, and a modest bathroom. There was evidence of Hinata’s life everywhere: posters on the walls of manga he liked and volleyball teams he idolised, stacks of magazines in both Japanese and Portuguese on the kitchen table, DVDs and a handheld gaming console organised haphazardly in a shelf under his second-hand television. Hinata’s laundry was drying on a rack out on the balcony in the afternoon sun and the large window was cracked open through which drifted sounds from the street below. Kageyama’s heart leapt when he noticed that the refrigerator door was almost entirely obscured by photos of them together from times Hinata had visited Japan. There was a ream of pictures from a shopping mall photo booth that Hinata had insisted they take on his first visit to Ageo in their second year of high school, a photo of them standing side-by-side wearing suits at Kageyama’s sister’s wedding that they had attended last year, a selfie they had taken on a trip to Iwate prefecture when they had visited Hinata’s relatives the year before, and other pictures, old train tickets, paper maps and volleyball programmes that held some special significance in their relationship. There was even an old photo there of the time they had attended Tanabata Festival in Sendai with their old volleyball team in the first year of high school. Kageyama, too, had many of the same pictures though they were mostly stored in his phone. It made him smile to see how Hinata had arranged them all for himself to enjoy whenever he took anything from the fridge.</p><p>They agreed that Hinata would go downstairs for some groceries while Kageyama took a shower and got settled. Kageyama felt the knots in his shoulders loosen as cool water washed the residual plane trip away and he let his eyes wander around the bathroom. This was Hinata’s bathroom with Hinata’s shampoo, Hinata’s towel, Hinata’s toothbrush on the sink, and all of the decoy’s belongings scattered around as he had organised them. That was the mirror that Hinata looked into every morning before he left to the gym. A hollowness delved itself into Kageyama’s chest as he looked at the evidence of Hinata’s daily life around him. He wanted it, all of it, so badly in his own life. He wanted to be able to take a shower in his own apartment and see Hinata’s things around him. He wanted to have his own towel hung on a hook beside Hinata’s, to have his toothbrush in the same cup, his comb in the same cupboard. He wanted to share his bed with the decoy and wake up to his tousled orange head every morning. Instead, he had this: a week of visiting every couple of months since Hinata had left Japan, phone calls, messaging, video chatting… It couldn’t compare to the man in real life. They had been together for almost four years and yet the limitations of distance never got easier.</p><p>He dried himself off and hung his towel up on the vacant hook beside Hinata’s. The sight filled him with a sense of desperate longing but also made him smile at the fact that, at least for now, he could have this. He dressed himself in a pair of shorts and a loose tank top before slumping back on the sofa in the living room and feeling a cloud of jetlag weigh upon his shoulders. It was the middle of the night in Tokyo and yet here, the sun blazed through Hinata’s living room window and a warm breeze fluttered the curtains and brought unfamiliar smells to Kageyama’s nose. An odd shape was digging into his back and he reached behind himself to extract an old chibi shrimp plushie from where it had been hidden in the pillows. He held it against his chest and sighed. Dimly, the sound of cars from the street below and voices chattering away in the courtyard in rapid Portuguese of which Kageyama understood nothing broke the quiet of the apartment. Then, he heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and Hinata unlocked the front door.</p><p>‘How was the shower?’ asked Hinata, smiling and closing the door behind him.</p><p>He put down a canvas bag of groceries on the kitchen table and crossed the room to where Kageyama was sitting.</p><p>‘It was fine —’</p><p>Kageyama’s sentence was cut off as Hinata pushed him back by the shoulders into the sofa and kissed him. Kageyama’s breath hitched in his chest in surprise but he quickly melted into Hinata’s embrace. It had been so long — too long — since they had been together and Hinata clearly had no patience for superficial pleasantries before the closeness he had been craving. Kageyama parted his lips under Hinata’s and dropped the plushie to wrap his arms around the decoy’s waist. Hinata knelt on the sofa, his knees either side of Kageyama’s waist, and sat in his lap.</p><p>‘I missed you,’ he said, leaning back and smiling.</p><p>‘I know you did,’ smirked Kageyama, and he caressed the warm skin under the hem of Hinata’s t-shirt.</p><p>He pulled Hinata closer, pressed his forehead into the decoy’s chest, and breathed deeply. The fragrance of fresh cotton and tatami, mingled now with a vague hint of citrus, engulfed him in an enduring feeling of peace and for a moment, Kageyama was transported back to his time in high school with Hinata when he had first come to know that fragrance. He closed his eyes and recalled their time together in Karasuno which he now counted to be among the best times of his life. At the time, he could never have known how important those summer days would come to be, how frequently he would look back with fondness on their late-night study sessions, their evenings alone in the gym, touching in the courtyard, losing themselves in the old clubroom, and discovering one another in the privacy of their respective bedrooms. Though Hinata himself was now taller, had limbs of rippling muscle and sat more heavily in Kageyama’s lap, it was still the same airheaded decoy that had captured Kageyama’s heart all those years ago.</p><p>‘I missed you, too,’ murmured Kageyama, and he meant it.</p><p>‘What do you wanna do today?’ asked Hinata.</p><p>‘Nothing,’ sighed Kageyama. ‘Rio can wait. I want to stay here, at least for today.’</p><p>‘That sounds good to me.’</p><p>Hinata got to his feet and took Kageyama by the hand. He led the way into his bedroom and the only thought that pushed its way through the fog of jetlag in Kageyama’s brain was that he needed Hinata in his arms, now. They fell back onto the bed, Hinata pushing Kageyama back and climbing over him, and Kageyama smiled into a kiss as he wrapped his arms around Hinata’s neck. This was where he wanted to be above all other places on this earth. Whether it was Rio or Tokyo or Karasuno, the setting didn’t matter as long as he had Hinata in his arms. He ran his fingers through the strands of Hinata's flaming hair and held on as if he was afraid that it was all a mirage and the decoy would disappear if he let go — but Hinata wouldn’t disappear. He was here and this was real and Kageyama felt like the past five weeks that they had been apart had been nothing but preparation for this moment.</p><p>Kageyama parted his lips and tasted the familiar sweetness of Hinata’s kiss, savoured the essence of it on his tongue like a connoisseur appreciating the rarest bouquet, before losing himself little by little in the heady allure that was the decoy’s singular power over him. In the taste of Hinata’s lips and the fragrance of his skin, Kageyama found his homecoming. He sat up, pushing Hinata back as he did so, and lifted Hinata’s shirt up over his head. Hinata immediately reclaimed Kageyama’s lips in a heated kiss that put their earlier lightness to shame. Kageyama found himself gripping at Hinata’s shoulders, feeling the shift and flex of Hinata's muscles under his touch, with a fire that had been kindled out of the dampening fog of jetlag and was fuelled all the brighter by Hinata’s fingers in his hair and tongue in his mouth. Afternoon shafts of sunlight washed Hinata’s bare chest with points of gold and set his hair aflame. A dusting of freckles became visible over his nose and cheekbones, evidence of his days playing beach volleyball under the Brazilian sun, and Kageyama  brushed his lips lightly over Hinata’s cheeks before losing himself in the decoy’s mouth again. Then, he moved his lips to worship every point of sunlight that blessed Hinata’s skin, from the side of his neck to his collar, his shoulder, his chest, every flare of blazing warmth that called Kageyama’s name. Hinata leaned his head back and sighed as Kageyama bit into his chest, and liquid heat dripped to the pit of Kageyama’s stomach at the sound of it. Hinata's voice, lilted by his growing arousal, never failed to increase Kageyama’s heart rate tenfold. He had heard it over the phone whenever he promised Hinata all the things he would do to him once they were together but that soft, whispering sigh with a husky edge of longing rang now clear in his ears and sealed his resolve.</p><p>He took Hinata’s face in both of his hands and captured his lips in a blazing kiss that caused the flames of passion to lick at Kageyama’s insides. They fell back into the pillows and Kageyama closed his eyes as Hinata moved his lips to the edge of his throat. A part of him inwardly tutted at the purple bruise that Hinata was undoubtedly surfacing there but another, more dominant part of him was too caught up in the feeling of Hinata’s lips moving against him to care. His heart was thudding in his ears, drowning out the sounds from outside and the heady pants of Hinata breathing between kisses. He was so far gone, so fervently lost in the indulgence of Hinata’s burning kisses trailing down his chest that he wasn’t conscious of anything except for the way one of Hinata’s hands was pushing his shirt up to expose his torso and the other hand was caressing the front of his shorts. Kageyama’s breath caught in his throat and he exhaled long as he felt increasingly hurried fingers pulling at the waistband around his hips. He lifted himself slightly as his shorts and briefs were tugged off roughly in Hinata’s eagerness and he felt a sensation that was simultaneously deeply familiar and yet could have been the first touch he ever experienced. Hinata’s hot breath ghosted over his cock, sending goosebumps up his arms and blood pumping in his veins, and Kageyama looked down to see Hinata catch his gaze as he lowered his head. Slippery, shifting heat enveloped him and he didn’t even have the strength to grip the sheets under his hands. What had he done to deserve this? When did he ever get so lucky? Hinata gorged himself hungrily, swirling his tongue around the head of Kageyama’s cock just as he knew the setter liked, and Kageyama ran his fingers lovingly through Hinata’s hair. <em>You’ve learned so well</em>, he thought, through the haze of pleasure that flooded his brain like honeyed wine.</p><p>‘Just like that,’ he murmured, unconsciously.</p><p>His words encouraged Hinata who took Kageyama’s cock more deeply into his mouth. Along with recognising Kageyama’s preferences, Hinata had also learned to relax his throat in such a way that would allow him to take all of Kageyama’s girth into his mouth, though it had taken some practice. Kageyama’s heart ballooned in his chest with greedy pride in knowing that no one else could know just how skilled the decoy was at the physical arts; he alone was privy to the extent of Hinata’s talents and between them, they had learned much about each other and themselves in turn. Kageyama couldn’t deny that it had been Hinata who had taught him what it was that he loved most. He had no one else to thank for the reaches of his own pleasure.</p><p>The movement of Hinata’s mouth and hand, the slippery shift of his lips and the swirling of his tongue enraptured Kageyama’s mind to the point of breaking until he wasn’t sure where his own body ended and Hinata’s began. Wave upon wave of heady ecstasy built upon one another inside him until he was drowned and audibly gasping, and Hinata withdrew before the crest of Kageyama’s pleasure could break. There was only one thing that burned brightly in the midst of Kageyama’s sleep-deprived brain: how starved he was of the man in his arms. He sat up and pulled Hinata into a desperate kiss and, with shaky hands, turned him over and pushed him down onto his front. He was overtaken by a desperate drive to turn Hinata into the shuddering, moaning mess that he loved so much. Hinata bunched the pillow under his chin and glanced back over his shoulder at what Kageyama was doing. Kageyama beheld the form of the decoy lying shirtless and expectant on the bed in front of him and said a silent prayer of thanks to the universe. Slowly, as if unveiling a priceless artefact, he pulled down Hinata's shorts and briefs and tossed them aside. He smoothed his hands up Hinata’s backside and leaned over him as he did so to press a kiss into the middle of his shoulder blades. For too long had Kageyama's hands been deprived of the heat of Hinata’s skin, the softness of his waist, the rippling contours of muscle that shifted with the ebb and flow of the decoy’s arousal. For too long had his long fingers pined for the heat that gathered at the base of Hinata’s spine, which he now explored whilst biting kisses into the decoy’s shoulder. His index finger trailed lower and lower until he found that which he had been missing most. Hinata's sharp intake of breath told him that he, too, had been awaiting Kageyama’s touch, and Hinata immediately reached over to his bedside table to pull a small tube of lubricant out of the drawer which he handed to Kageyama over his shoulder. Kageyama’s slicked up fingers found their way to Hinata’s entrance, which puckered in anticipation, and the setter nuzzled his face against the crook of Hinata’s shoulder as he pushed his forefinger inside. It slid in easily and a familiar heat enveloped him up to the knuckle. Hinata groaned and pushed back as Kageyama curled his finger inside him, beckoning his pleasure ever nearer but making sure to skirt around his prostate. Hinata hadn’t moaned enough, hadn’t sweat enough, hadn’t begged enough for Kageyama to allow him that luxury yet. His own cock twitched from where it pressed against Hinata’s backside and he could feel arousal squeezing precome out of its tip.<em> All in good time</em>, he thought.</p><p>Little by little, Kageyama worked Hinata open with every draw of his fingers dragging ragged breaths from the depths of Hinata’s throat, feeling the heat rise in Hinata’s back that was pressed flush against him as he nibbled biting kisses to the side of Hinata's neck. Hinata’s hole was sticky and ready but Kageyama couldn’t bring himself to stop despite the throbbing in his cock. He was three fingers deep and savouring every clenching wave that rocked through Hinata’s body. The decoy’s knuckles were taut as he gripped the pillow under him and his bottom lip was scarlet with the imprints of his own teeth.</p><p>‘Mmmdo you like the way my fingers feel inside you?’ murmured Kageyama, biting on the decoy’s earlobe.</p><p>‘Y-You have no idea,’ panted Hinata, and his voice was low and gravelly. ‘You have no idea — what you’re doing to me —’</p><p>‘I think I have some idea.’</p><p>Hinata looked over his shoulder at him and his eyes were glazed over with desperate longing. There was a war raging there amidst the sweet hazel of his irises — the ever-nearing point of breaking battling with the desire for more. Kageyama couldn’t resist. He could never deny Hinata anything. It was something that he had learned years ago and accepted now gladly. Hinata was the one to which he would give anything and everything with both hands. Willingly, gratefully, lovingly he would fulfil every one of Hinata’s desires, and he understood the desire written all over Hinata’s face. </p><p>He drew out his fingers and sat back on his heels. Hinata’s backside was sticky and shining and Kageyama was lost. He lifted the decoy up by the hips so that he was kneeling on all fours and held his breath.</p><p>‘I’m going to fuck you now, Shouyou,’ he murmured.</p><p>Hinata hung his head to press his brow against his forearm.</p><p>‘Please,’ he rasped.</p><p>Kageyama didn’t answer. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to. The overpowering love and lust he felt in that moment for the man before him took his breath away. He guided himself to Hinata’s entrance and pushed slowly inside, with some effort at first before he was clear of the rim and the rest of his girth was swallowed up easily. His soul left his chest as he exhaled and his eyes rolled back into his head.</p><p>‘Shit,’ he breathed. ‘You’re so good.’</p><p>He withdrew almost entirely before sliding in balls-deep again, the last few centimetres squeezing in somewhat grudgingly. Hinata’s fingers knotted into the sheet and the most delectable moans issued from his chest as Kageyama filled him up. Kageyama leaned forward onto his fists and fucked Hinata down into the bed, losing himself further with every thrust, wondering how it was possible that he had gone five weeks without this clenching heat coaxing the tendrils of an orgasm up from the pit of his stomach. Pinpoints of sweat glistened in the dip of Hinata’s lower back and he pushed back against Kageyama, forcing the setter in deeper. Kageyama couldn’t help watching the way Hinata’s pink and shining hole took him in hungrily and gripped tight when he withdrew; even Hinata’s body wanted him. He snapped his hips forward and Hinata lurched forward with a gasp.</p><p>‘Christ, you look amazing,’ said Kageyama, and he could hear the sex-drunk gravel in his own voice. ‘I’ve missed this view.’</p><p>As he spoke, he spread Hinata open and feasted his eyes upon the vision of eroticism straining pink around his engorged cock. Hinata turned to look over his shoulder and a fist squeezed around Kageyama’s lungs as a crooked smirk broke through the fucked-out haze of Hinata’s face. He grabbed Hinata by the back of the neck and kissed him fiercely, driving into him and gasping as he felt pointed teeth clamp down on his lower lip. Suddenly, Hinata pushed back on his chest and Kageyama pulled out entirely. Following the cues of Hinata’s hands, he lay back against the pillows and watched with ravenous eyes as Hinata knelt with his knees on either side of Kageyama’s hips and lowered himself down, guiding Kageyama’s cock into place as he did so. Stars winked in front of Kageyama’s eyes as the soul-consuming heat clenched tight around him again and Hinata exhaled, his eyebrows upturned, as Kageyama’s length filled him up entirely.</p><p>‘Fuck, you’re hitting that spot,’ groaned Hinata.</p><p>‘Yeah?’ said Kageyama, breathlessly.</p><p>‘Yeah. <em>Right</em> there. It feels so — so good —’</p><p>Hinata’s words were drowned in a heady moan as Kageyama thrust up into him and he held tightly onto Kageyama’s thigh behind himself in a vain attempt to keep himself grounded. Kageyama’s knuckles were taut as they gripped Hinata’s waist and he watched greedily as Hinata's eyes rolled back into his head. His panting breath came faster as he sat up and down and the muscles in his thighs stuck out taut at the motion, but he didn’t relinquish the rhythm. Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off him. Sweat glistened on Hinata’s chest like refracted diamonds in the sunlight and strands of orange hair stuck to his temples from exertion. The head of his cock was burning scarlet and the prominent veins that wrapped up the shaft were glazed with residual precome. Every breath grew more audible as Hinata threw back his head, clearly battling with the waves of pleasure filling him up from the inside.</p><p>‘R-Right there,’ he choked out, gripping the setter's thigh. ‘Fuck me — Tobio, <em>fuck me</em> —’</p><p>Kageyama’s fingers dug into Hinata’s waist as he drove up into him and his breath was constricted somewhere in the pit of his lungs. He felt Hinata clamp down hard as a cataclysmic orgasm swelled inside of him. Kageyama didn’t touch his cock. He didn’t need to. The repeated jabbing of Hinata’s prostate caused a shuddering moan to surge from his throat and hot silver ropes of semen shot out of his cock over Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama fucked him through it, feeling his own desperate desire throb tenfold, as tears smarted in the corners of Hinata's eyes from the overwhelming orgasm that swelled through him until he fell forward with his hands onto Kageyama’s shoulders.</p><p>Hinata’s body went lax and his muscles trembled from exertion. His previously knitted eyebrows smoothed as hazy ecstasy glazed over his eyes. Kageyama let himself go. Finally, he could give in to the bliss blooming inside of himself and he watched as Hinata, in his weakened state, continued riding him with the determination to ensure that he, too, reached his end. Just the sight of Hinata’s utterly wrecked face, the tears in his eyes and come still oozing down his cock in petering spurts, the flush in his cheeks and the nest of his hair was enough to push Kageyama over the edge. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Hinata’s waist and Hinata rode him in earnest. Kageyama closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into Hinata’s chest. It was too much. The decoy’s body overrode his consciousness and he felt the wave inside him grow into a tsunami.</p><p>Hinata rode him valiantly until Kageyama felt weeks’ worth of pent-up expectation rise up into the pit of his stomach and break. A bitten-off moan rasped from between his teeth as Hinata clenched tightly around him, drawing every shuddering pump of pleasure from the depths of Kageyama’s body until stars burst in front of the setter’s eyes. Hinata sat there for a moment as Kageyama breathed heavily against his chest and gradually attempted to gather his thoughts. After a time that could have been mere seconds or five minutes, Hinata got off and lay back at Kageyama’s side with an air of satisfied accomplishment that Kageyama was too far gone to notice. In a haze, Kageyama wiped his hands and chest with a tissue from the bedside table and, without realising, he was soon engulfed in a deep, contented slumber in the arms of his lover whose dreams followed suit and the shafts of afternoon sunlight journeyed steadily up from the bed and to the wall before being snuffed by the neighbouring buildings.</p><p>When Kageyama surfaced to the realm of the waking again, it was dusk and a warm evening breeze fluttered the curtains and gave them some respite from the mugginess of the apartment. The drone of electric scooters and chatter from the street drifted up to instil a background ambience in the room. Kageyama’s naked legs were entwined in a tangle of Hinata’s legs and bedsheets and he gazed tenderly at Hinata's face through the dim orange light that emanated from the streetlamps outside. Hinata looked back sleepily and he smiled at seeing Kageyama awake.</p><p>‘What time is it?’ asked Kageyama, rubbing the vestiges of his doze from his eyes.</p><p>‘Almost seven,’ replied Hinata. ‘I’ll put dinner on in a bit. Wanna help?’</p><p>‘Sure.’</p><p>Neither of them moved. Despite the hunger making itself known in Kageyama’s stomach, he didn’t want to leave the nest they had made in Hinata’s bed. It was a perfect sanctuary that felt like a bubble outside of time and reality and he wasn't quite ready to leave it yet.</p><p>‘It’s been so long,’ murmured Kageyama. ‘When are you going to come home?’</p><p>‘Soon, hopefully,’ said Hinata, with a sigh. ‘You know you’re breaking my wallet making me travel back and forth.’</p><p>‘Why did you have to pick Brazil of all places to move? Did you wanna get away from me that badly?’</p><p>‘Remember back in Karasuno when we thought you moving to Ageo would be the end of the world,’ sniggered Hinata. ‘I was so mad at you back then.’</p><p>‘You’re lucky I wasn’t just as mad when you told me you were moving here,’ grumbled Kageyama.</p><p>‘Well, you almost were.’</p><p>Hinata grinned brightly and brushed his thumb over Kageyama's cheek. Kageyama made to roll away petulantly but Hinata grabbed his shoulder and turned the setter back towards him.</p><p>‘No, you can’t even pretend to be mad,’ he lectured. ‘You’re here for a week, I’m not letting you be anything but nice and happy with me.’</p><p>‘Good luck,’ snorted Kageyama.</p><p>‘At least I can try. Tomorrow, I’m going to take you out. We can go to the beach, drink coconut water and have grilled cheese and ice lollies… Have you ever tried caipirinha?’</p><p>‘You know I haven’t,’ said Kageyama, flatly.</p><p>‘Oh, it’s the best!’ gushed Hinata. ‘It’s Brazil’s national cocktail, you know. This week, I’m gonna show you everything I love about this city. And I’ll take you to my gym’s beach volleyball courts when your jetlag’s gone away. I’ve gotten much better since that one training camp we went in high school.’</p><p>He grinned with personal pride at his beach volley skills and Kageyama couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.</p><p>‘Yeah, I bet you have,’ he said, and he could hear the fondness in his own voice. ‘But for now, I’m too tired to think about doing anything but staying in this bed forever.’</p><p>Kageyama turned on his side and wrapped his arm around Hinata’s waist. He pressed his lips against Hinata’s shoulder and breathed deeply. The fragrance of fresh linen and tatami flooded his mind like a heady drug and filled him with an enduring sense of peace. It was the smell of home. Hinata leaned his cheek against the top of Kageyama’s head.</p><p>‘I wish you could,’ he said, lowly.</p><p>He kissed Kageyama lightly on the temple before sitting up and stretching.</p><p>‘Well, the food’s not gonna cook itself,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘Stay in bed as long as you want, Sleeping Beauty.’</p><p>Kageyama lobbed a pillow at Hinata’s retreating back before stretching widely himself. Sleep still threatened to pull him under but he knew he ought to eat before settling down for a proper night’s rest. After a moment, he got up, pulled on his shorts, and padded out to the bathroom to wash the vestiges of their previous love-making away. Then he went out to the kitchen to where Hinata was stirring noodles in a pot at the stove, humming lightly to himself. Kageyama wound his arms around the decoy’s middle and rested his chin on his shoulder, watching with faraway eyes.</p><p>‘I’m making kitsune udon,’ explained Hinata, brightly. ‘There’s a Japanese market nearby that sells excellent sanuki udon noodles <em>and</em> inari age so I get the best of both worlds living here! Lucky, right?’</p><p>‘Mhm.’</p><p>‘Do you want something to drink? There’s juice and filtered water in the fridge. You can drink the tap water but the pipes are old so it tastes kinda gross.’</p><p>‘Mm.’</p><p>Kageyama’s brain didn’t have the mental fortitude to do anything other than hold onto Hinata and passively agree to whatever he said.</p><p>‘You’re such a baby when you’re tired,’ grinned Hinata. ‘Okay, you just sit down and I’ll dish up.’</p><p>‘’Kay. Sorry, my brain’s not working right now.’</p><p>‘Don’t worry,’ said Hinata, brushing a soft kiss against his cheek. ‘I’ll take care of you.’</p><p>Hinata brought him a carefully arranged bowl of udon noodles in a rich dark broth topped with green onions, inari age and sliced fish cakes as well as a tall glass of fruit juice with ice. Kageyama swore to himself that he wouldn’t be so useless once the jetlag wore off but he couldn’t deny the fact that Hinata taking care of him was a childlike indulgence that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He recalled a couple of months ago when he had come down with a particular nasty flu and how awful it had been to be holed up in his apartment alone with nothing but cup ramen and painkillers to comfort him. At that time, he had fantasised about how different things would be if Hinata was there with him; how Hinata look after him, bring him hot meals with plenty of vegetables and keep a pot of herbal tea at his side... There were times that Kageyama was suited to living alone and there were times when he hated it, especially when compared to the idea of living with his significant other. As exhausted and jetlagged as he was now, he allowed himself to fall under Hinata’s care and knew that he was in good hands.</p><p>They thanked one another for sharing the meal and the familiar umami flavour of homemade dashi coupled with the sight of Hinata sitting opposite him filled Kageyama with a feeling of true comfort. Soon after eating, Kageyama returned to the bed and plunged back into the depths of sleep while Hinata took his evening shower. Kageyama had no way of knowing that when Hinata joined him later in the evening, he sat up for a time admiring the sight of Kageyama sleeping soundly in his bed and knew that it would become a memory that he would cherish in the months to come.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The following days were domestic bliss coupled with touristic adventures that caused Kageyama to inwardly admit that Rio wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he had expected it to be. Hinata ensured that Kageyama tried everything to get a sufficient experience of the city: they enjoyed coxinha and sugarcane juice in a street market on a particularly hot day, drank ice cold beers on the beach in the evenings and watched the sun go down, Kageyama got thoroughly intimidated by a particularly raucous boteco, they shared brigadeiro in the Botanical Garden and took selfies in front of Christ the Redeemer. Hinata assured him that it was normal to be coupley in public and, despite Kageyama’s general distaste for public displays of affection, he couldn’t help the skip in his heart as they strolled down the sands of Copacabana Beach with their hands clasped between them.</p><p>On one day near the end of Kageyama’s stay, they walked to Hinata’s gym to play some beach volleyball with a couple of the decoy’s teammates. The gym was huge as it housed both standard volleyball courts and indoor beach volleyball courts, and the arching ceiling towered overhead from which hung multitudes of blazing lights. There were more courts outside, an exercise gym and a cafeteria, changing rooms, showers and other facilities in the same compound. A couple of tall, tanned guys were in the changing room already and, judging by Hinata's animated reaction upon seeing them, were Hinata’s teammates. Kageyama’s heart swelled with pride as he watched Hinata chatting in broken Portuguese with the pair who greeted Kageyama enthusiastically at his introduction despite their lack of shared language. Due to the fine weather, they agreed to play on a court outside. Hinata acted as translator for Kageyama until they dug their toes into the sand and switched into competitive mode. Kageyama was quick to recognise just how much Hinata’s skill had improved. Not only were the decoy’s basics more refined than Kageyama ever could have expected but his abilities had become adapted to playing on sand whereas Kageyama struggled slightly when it came to moving over the soft ground and minimising excess movements to conserve energy. Even still, volleyball was where Hinata and Kageyama’s synergy peaked more than anywhere else and Kageyama’s heart soared higher than it had since… well, since the last time he played with Hinata, if he was honest with himself. Together they beat Hinata’s teammates but they lost the next round as sweat began to pour down Kageyama’s face and his legs ached from moving around on the sand. He clicked his tongue as Hinata, who was visibly less worn out than he was, teased him playfully for his unnecessary movements.</p><p>When the sun sank low in the western sky, they thanked each other for the game and Hinata’s teammates remarked in surprise at Kageyama’s bow, at which Kageyama’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment which in turn made Hinata laugh even more. They waved goodbye and Hinata and Kageyama returned to the changing rooms.</p><p>‘Let’s get a drink,’ said Hinata, once they had showered and changed into their casual wear. ‘Wanna have a beer on the beach before heading home?’</p><p>‘Why not,’ shrugged Kageyama.</p><p>He wasn’t usually the drinking type but the prospect of enjoying an ice cold beer after an afternoon of exercise in the sun sounded irresistible in that moment.</p><p>‘Ahh, it was awesome to play with you again!’ sighed Hinata, and he grinned with fondness at the memory.</p><p>‘I’ll admit it, you’re good,’ said Kageyama, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘You’re better on sand than on an indoor court.’</p><p>Hinata didn’t answer but judging by the look on his face, he seemed on the verge of melting into a puddle of joy on the pavement. By the time they got to the beach, the wisps of cloud overhead were shot with pink and gold, and a smouldering sun teetered on the edge of the horizon out to sea. The evening air was pleasantly warm now that the scorching rays of midday sunshine had been dimmed and beach-goers were enjoying the atmosphere of dusk on the shore. Many people were still out swimming in the crimson surf, others sat in groups of family or friends sharing snacks and drinks from the plaza nearby, and the music of funk carioca carried through the air from where a large group of people were grilling food under a pavilion. Kageyama and Hinata bought a bottle of lager each from a nearby kiosk, found a patch of sand a little away from the rest of the crowds, and sat down contentedly. Hinata leaned back on his elbow and took a sip of his drink.</p><p>‘Check out that sunset!’ he said, with awe in his voice. ‘I’m glad you’re here, there’s no photo that could capture that.’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>He could only agree. The vibrancy of the pinks, golds and burnt orange reflected in an endless sea dotted with sailing boats and yachts looked like a painting or something out of a film. In that moment, Kageyama could hardly believe that he was lucky enough to be witnessing it. He took a swig of his own beer and looked at Hinata.</p><p>‘Do you think we'll ever play against each other in a real competition?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Definitely!’ said Hinata, without skipping a beat. ‘What do you think I’m training so hard for? I mean, don’t get me wrong, the sport is everything to me but the thought of versing you for real makes me wanna train even harder.’</p><p>‘You’d have to come back to Japan first,’ said Kageyama. ‘Or play in the national-level league.’</p><p>‘Either or,’ shrugged Hinata, as if both options were easily attainable. ‘You wanna verse me too, right?’</p><p>‘Don’t ask stupid questions.’</p><p>Kageyama took a swig of his beer as Hinata pouted.</p><p>‘I mean, I’ve wanted to play against you since junior high,’ said Hinata. ‘I have my obvious reasons but you’re not so obvious.’</p><p>‘What are you talking about?’ said Kageyama. ‘You’re not that kid from Yukigaoka with crappy receives and no technical skills anymore. Don’t even pretend like you can’t hold your own because I’m not gonna add to your ego by insisting you can.’</p><p>Hinata grinned at the praise that he knew Kageyama merely shrouded in gruffness to stop himself from feeling too embarrassed. Kageyama hid his face behind his beer bottle.</p><p>‘And anyway,’ continued Kageyama. ‘You know I’m not gonna ignore a chance to try and beat you at something.’</p><p>‘Yeah, I’m convinced half of your fitness in high school came from racing me to the gym.’</p><p>‘Don't bring up Karasuno,’ groaned Kageyama.</p><p>‘Why not?!’ asked Hinata, turning on his side to face Kageyama fully.</p><p>‘I acted like such an idiot back then,’ said Kageyama, cringing inwardly. ‘I don’t even want to think about it.’</p><p>‘You <em>were</em> pretty stupid sometimes,’ agreed Hinata, with a broad grin.</p><p>‘Why did you even put up with me? You should have punched me, or got Sugawara and Daichi to put me in my place.’</p><p>‘I had my reasons,’ shrugged Hinata.</p><p>‘They must have been pretty good reasons.’</p><p>Hinata looked out towards the horizon and his crooked smile softened with the memories that he was clearly revisiting in his head. Kageyama, too, looked out at the waves and recalled his time at his first high school, particularly the summer of that year when his relationship with Hinata had had its clumsy and confused beginning.</p><p>‘I confessed to you first, remember?’ said Hinata. ‘Back then, I started having feelings for you because I admired you so much. You were such an awesome player and I wanted to be like you and to beat you at the same time which kind of messed with my head a bit if I’m really honest. That awesome feeling you gave me, that flying, soaring feeling, was like nothing I’d ever felt before and it was so awesome that I couldn’t go back to not knowing that feeling, you know?</p><p>Kageyama stared. <em>Yes</em>, he thought. <em>I know that soaring feeling</em>. That feeling was what had gotten him addicted to Hinata in the first place, what had spurred on his advances and driven his need for closeness with the decoy. Kageyama had no idea that Hinata, too, had felt the same feeling.</p><p>‘Then, when I confessed to you and you kind of started seeing me differently, I knew you were trying to figure out what it all meant for you,’ continued Hinata. ‘And, well, I knew back then that you’re an idiot, <em>but</em>,’ he added quickly, before Kageyama could protest, ‘I also knew that you’re a good person and that you’d figure it out eventually. It was weird; just knowing that you wanted to do stuff like hold my hand and kiss me… It made me feel good because you didn’t wanna do those things with anyone else. It made me feel special, or something.’</p><p>‘I’ve told you the reason why,’ said Kageyama, sounding sullen despite the pounding in his chest.</p><p>‘Yeah, because I like volleyball,’ grinned Hinata. ‘It’s not just you, though.’</p><p>Kageyama frowned.</p><p>‘What do you mean?’ he asked.</p><p>‘This is kind of embarrassing but back in junior high, none of my friends got my obsession with volleyball,’ said Hinata, speaking through the blush in his cheeks, ‘so I used to spend ages doing favours for them to get them to play with me, and I used to stay late at school to practice with the girls’ team because Yukigaoka didn’t have a boys’ team.’</p><p>‘I remember playing against you in junior high,’ said Kageyama, recalling the first time he had met Hinata and the curious first impression the decoy had left on him. ‘It seemed like none of the guys on your team had even spiked a volleyball before.’</p><p>‘Most of them hadn’t,’ admitted Hinata. ‘But then in high school, you acknowledged me as a rival. Do you know how crazy it felt to have someone like you acknowledge someone like me?’</p><p>‘What of it?’ said Kageyama, his frown deepening.</p><p>‘Man, you came from an elite school and were already pretty much the best setter in the prefecture! I was just some kid from a mountain village.’</p><p>‘Yeah, but you were crazy good, too,’ said Kageyama, reasonably. ‘You were the only person who could spike my toss - even including my old teammates from Kitagawa Daiichi. It doesn't matter if they were at an elite school with a better sports program, none of them could spike my toss. You could, and that made all the difference.’</p><p>Hinata’s eyes shone again and Kageyama took a deep draught from his bottle to hide his scowl despite the warmth glowing in his chest. He thought back to his days of stubbornness, competitiveness, pushiness and confusion with Hinata at Karasuno and sighed.</p><p>‘You just have the habit of only seeing the best in people,’ he said, somewhat sullenly. ‘Even if there isn’t anything good there.’</p><p>‘Well, lucky that wasn’t the case with you,’ said Hinata, with a grin.</p><p>‘I was so stupid in high school, it’s painful to even think about,’ said Kageyama, and he cringed at the embarrassing memories that he had deeply suppressed.</p><p>‘Yeah, you were,’ admitted Hinata. ‘But so was I. Neither of us really knew how to talk properly about stuff together and I didn’t even know what I wanted back then. I confessed to you but I think I didn’t really know what that meant. I mean, I liked you because you were an awesome player but with all that physical closeness and stuff… man, I was way out of my depth.’</p><p>‘At least you understood your own brain,’ said Kageyama. ‘I had no idea what was going on in mine.’</p><p>‘Some things never change, then,’ teased Hinata.</p><p>Kageyama shoved him in the arm at the remark but there was no malice behind it.</p><p>‘Well, I guess you’re right that there are some things that haven’t changed since high school,’ said Kageyama, slowly.</p><p>‘Oh yeah?’ asked Hinata. ‘Like what?’</p><p>‘Like the fact that I’m in love with you,’ said Kageyama.</p><p>Hinata stared at the openness of Kageyama’s words before a broad smile spread across his face.</p><p>‘At least you can say it out loud now,’ he said, and Kageyama could tell that Hinata was fighting to keep his tone casual.</p><p>‘But it still makes me feel like you’re making fun of me,’ said Kageyama, grumpily.</p><p>‘I’m not!’ insisted Hinata. ‘I’m not, I promise.’</p><p>‘Yeah, yeah, I believe you,’ said Kageyama, and he took another swig from his bottle.</p><p>A comfortable silence fell between them as they watched the crowds on the sand. They finished their beers and Hinata ran off to get a second round while Kageyama rested his elbow on his knee and felt himself relax as the alcohol made its way through his bloodstream. It didn’t take very much for him to feel the effects of alcohol as he rarely drank at all; though Hinata was known to go out with his teammates after Saturday practice and could surely handle more than the setter could. Kageyama became suddenly aware of the impending end of his trip and his return to Japan looming over him, and something that had been pacing back and forth in the back of his head now wormed its way to the fore. There was something that he had been intending to discuss with Hinata and yet had never found the right opportunity to bring it up. Now, however, seemed like as good a time as any. Hinata sat down beside him, touching his back lightly as he did so, and handed him another bottle with a lime wedge in the neck. Kageyama drank deeply and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.</p><p>‘Can you do something for me?’ he asked, and for some reason his heart began to beat against his ribcage.</p><p>‘Hm?’</p><p>Hinata looked over at him questioningly when Kageyama didn’t immediately speak. They were sitting closer now and Kageyama could see that the decoy’s light brown eyes were curious, but there was also a softness there as they drank in the sight of Kageyama, who was looking at him with his chin rested in his hand. Kageyama’s heart swelled in his chest at their closeness, the feeling of Hinata’s shoulder resting lightly against his, the warmth of their proximity. He watched the way that Hinata’s living, breathing torso gently rose and fell with every steady breath and he knew that what he was about to request would change the course of their lives forever.</p><p>‘When you eventually get signed with a Japanese team,’ he said, ‘come live with me for a while before you start training. I need this -’ he leaned closer against Hinata’s shoulder as he spoke, ‘- at least for a little while. No matter how long you’ll have me chasing you around the world, I want to know what life will be like for us once we’re able to settle down. I want to be able to wake up next to you and not have to think about how we only have a handful of days together before one of us has to leave again. I want to watch TV and eat dinner with you. I want to go grocery shopping or go jogging in the evening, or watch movies and sit under my kotatsu with you. I don’t care if it sounds pathetic. Live with me, Hinata.’</p><p>Heat had grown steadily in Kageyama’s cheeks as he spoke but his eyes remained steadfast as they stared at Hinata as if challenging the decoy to mock him. They had been through so much together and Kageyama felt that he had laid his heart bare over and over again since they had first gotten wrapped up in one another back in high school that he had nothing left to hide from the man that he trusted the most of everyone in his life. Hinata had watched him speak with the same enduring softness in his eyes that had gradually grown more luminous with every word. He grinned and pulled Kageyama roughly into his arms.</p><p>‘It almost sounds like you’re proposing to me!’ he trilled.</p><p>‘I - can’t - breathe -’ choked Kageyama, as he almost lost his grip on his beer.</p><p>‘You know I wanna live with you!’ Hinata relaxed his grip and beamed at Kageyama. ‘Do you know how much I worry about the fact that you live alone?! I’ve seen your cooking, I have no idea how you’ve even survived this long without me.’</p><p>‘I get good discounts from the cafeteria at my gym,’ said Kageyama, defensively. ‘There's no need for me to cook at home.’</p><p>‘That doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re still stuck on bulked-up cup ramen and omurice.’</p><p>‘All the more reason for you to live with me,’ grumbled Kageyama, pushing aside his wounded pride.</p><p>‘You don’t need to try and convince me,’ said Hinata, and he smiled a shining smile that dimmed even the radiant sunset. ‘I’m already there.’</p><p>Kageyama’s heart swelled to the point of bursting at Hinata’s words and he couldn’t fight the genuine smile that spread across his face. He felt so stupid now for worrying about how Hinata might react to his proposal of living together. Hinata was Hinata. He would never be anything else but that kind, honest, trustworthy person that Kageyama knew better than anyone else in the world.</p><p>‘But what if I don’t get signed with a Japanese team?’ asked Hinata, leaning back to look at Kageyama again. ‘What if I stay here in Brazil, or move somewhere else?’</p><p>Kageyama frowned and looked at Hinata thoughtfully.</p><p>‘Well, Rio’s not as bad as I thought,’ he admitted. ‘I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you have to stay, and if you want to stay then that’s okay, too.’</p><p>‘See, I told you that you’d love it! What changed your mind? The beach? The music? Or do you just love everything about it like I do?’</p><p>‘Everything that I love about Rio is sitting right next to me,’ said Kageyama, flatly. ‘Okay, and the coxinha were pretty good, too.’</p><p>Hinata grinned through the blush in his cheeks.</p><p>‘Okay,’ he conceded. ‘If and when I get signed to a Japanese team, let’s live together for a while in the off-season before I devote myself to training hard in order to kick your arse.’</p><p>‘Deal,’ said Kageyama, with a firm nod.</p><p>‘But even if that doesn’t happen, or it takes ten years to happen, you know I’m gonna keep coming back to visit you, right?’ said Hinata. ‘Between you, Natsu and Mum, I’ll get murdered if I don’t make it back to Japan every couple of months. I know that you guys coordinate dates for me to visit behind my back.’</p><p>He narrowed his eyes accusingly and Kageyama drank from his beer bottle innocently.</p><p>‘Well, Natsu figured it’s best for you to visit when we all have time,’ explained Kageyama, reasonably. ‘She just makes sure I’ve got time to see you whenever she organises for you to come over, that way it works out for all of us.’</p><p>‘Thanks for visiting them the other week, by the way. I felt bad for not being able to be there for New Years but Mum was really pleased that you took the time to visit.’</p><p>‘It’s okay,’ said Kageyama. ‘I needed to return her iron anyway, it’d been ages since I borrowed it for that one press conference; and my mum also wanted me to take some yuzu marmalade she’d made to Natsu seeing as it’s her favourite...’</p><p>Hinata smiled crookedly as Kageyama spoke which caused Kageyama’s sentence to trail off and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Hinata’s face.</p><p>‘What?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Nothing,’ said Hinata.</p><p>‘What are you smiling about?’</p><p>‘You make me happy,’ said Hinata, simply. ‘That's all.’</p><p>Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat and those words felt more intoxicating than any alcohol. He wound his arm around Hinata’s shoulders and pulled him into a tender kiss. He closed his eyes and felt his pounding heart swell up and threaten to swallow him whole. Since that fateful first year at Karasuno High, his life had been a balancing act between his two great loves: volleyball and Hinata Shouyou. So much had come to pass that had changed the course of his life over and over again and yet those two things had remained constant and enduring. They were the pillars upon which his happiness was built. Even long after they stopped playing together on the same side of the net, he and Hinata had continued to be a two-man team that coordinated and supported one another in their endeavours in life. Often their time spent playing on the same side of the court was echoed in the dynamic they shared in their adult lives, though instead of calling out support to one another for well-executed plays they merely demonstrated appreciation in their actions, and their old godlike quick had given way to a domestic synergy that could never be replicated with anyone else. In that way, the old personas with which Kageyama had struggled so much of Hinata the Person, Hinata the Teammate and Hinata the Partner had all converged into the stupid, simple, perfect boyfriend that he held in his arms. He sighed contentedly and ran his fingertips lightly over Hinata's skin. Whatever happened, wherever the paths of life and circumstance took them, he was sure that they would stay in each other's arms for years to come. So it was and so it always would be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Boteco - a neighbourhood bar of sorts that sells drinks and snacks<br/>Brigadeiro - a traditional Brazilian chocolate confection<br/>Caipirinha - Brazil’s national cocktail made with sugarcane liquor, sugar and lime<br/>Coxinha - a popular snack of battered and fried shredded chicken<br/>Dashi - a common type of Japanese stock used in soup broths<br/>Inari age - pouches of fried tofu<br/>Kitsune udon - a Japanese noodle soup (my personal go-to comfort food)<br/>Sanuki udon - a type of particularly chewy udon noodle from Kagawa prefecture<br/>-</p><p>Thank you so much to everyone that has stuck with me throughout the publication of this fic, and thank you dearly for all the encouraging comments I received. I would apologise if this final epilogue was a bit sappy but I can’t be sorry about it… I just couldn’t help ending it the way that I believe Hinata and Kageyama deserve after everything they’ve been through! I started writing this over a year ago purely for my own enjoyment and never originally intended for anyone else to read it. It was only once it looked like I’d finish it that I thought some other people might enjoy it too and decided to tidy it up and upload it, and it’s the first full-length fic that I’ve written so I’m having some feelings about finishing it now. English is my native language but I’ve lived abroad for almost six years now and use writing as a way to keep my English nice and articulate because I find it slipping sometimes which bugs me - hopefully none of that clunkiness came through. I’ve written a couple of haphazard chapters relating to this fic from the perspective of Tsukishima detailing his relationship with Kuroo so I might polish them up and upload them at some point, so please let me know if you’d be interested in reading something like that. Also, I'm always looking to improve so I would really appreciate any feedback or constructive criticism you're willing to give me! I hope that you have enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing and I wish you the very best in all of your endeavours, wherever you are.<br/>Yours faithfully,<br/>Ren. </p>
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